(1)
A Mortuary Attendant was receiving bodies .When he saw this body with the name Mike on it with the longest d*ck he has ever seen.

He decided to cut it off and go show his wife.

When he reached home he called out his wife "Sweetie come. I want to show you something!"

The wife came and on spotting it she screamed: "YOU MEAN MIKE IS DEAD"







(2)
POLICE: Knock knock!
AKPORS: Who is knocking?
POLICE: Police.
AKPORS: What do you want?
POLICE: to talk.
AKPORS: How many are you?
POLICE: We are two.
AKPORS: Then talk to each other!




(3)
Akpors was caught red handed by his principal writing "MAY GOD PUNISH MY PRINCIPAL"

PRINCIPAL: What nonsense are you writing? [about to Slap Akpors].
AKPORS: Sir, I have not finished writing it.
PRINCIPAL: [angry] What do you mean. You are insulting me and you are telling me that you have not finished?
AKPORS: This is not what I want to write.
PRINCIPAL: So what did you want to write?
AKPORS: I wanted to write "MAY GOD PUNISH MY PRINCIPAL'S ENEMIES"


(4)
WOMAN: My Husband is not interested in sex
DOCTOR: Okay, Give these pills to him. Everyday, put one pill in his tea.

The woman did and they had sex which she really enjoyed. Next day she thought to herself "It can only get better" and puts two pills in his tea and they enjoyed more sex.

On the third day, she emptied the whole bottle in his tea.

Two days later doctor called to know the progress.

Their son answered, "Mommy is in coma at the moment, Aunty is in hospital, the maid is suing dad for rape and daddy is still running naked in the garden, shouting Bingo! Bingo!! Bingo!!! Even the dogs are running for their lives."





(5)
A drunk 18 year old boy asked a married woman out. The woman got so pissed she went to tell her husband about the encounter.

The husband told the woman to invite the boy over so that he could beat the hell out of him, he would hide under the bed as he waited for him.

The woman did as her husband requested. When the boy got there he kissed the woman and took of his T-shirt and his body was full of scars.

So the woman asked, "Why so many scars?"

The boy replied,"I always lay with married women and usually when I get caught I kill the husband, if someone shows up now he will be number 20 on my murder list!"

The boy continued kissing the woman and undressing her.

The woman tried to reach out for her husband under the bed and a small voice came out,"If you tell him am here, I'll kill you before he kills me! Just co-operate!"



(6)
A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.

After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. "Well, sister, this looks pretty grim."

"I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it's likely that we can survive more than a day or two."

"I agree. Sister... since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, will you do something for me?"

"Anything, Father."

"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I wonder if I might see yours."

"Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm." The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting on their beauty.

"Sister, would you mind if I touched them?"

She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.

"Father, may I ask something of you?"

"Yes, Sister?"

"I have never seen a man's pen!s. May I see yours?"

"I suppose that would be OK," the priest replied, lifting his robe.

"Oh, Father, may I touch it?"

This time the priest consented and after a few minutes of handling he was sporting a huge erection.

"Sister, you know that if I insert my pen!s in the right place, it can give life."

"Is that really true, Father?"

"Yes, it is, Sister."

Oh, Father, that's wonderful. Stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here!"

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