I have had to clearly and irrefutably condemn in strongest terms any form of abuse, either verbal or physical but for the benefit of those who are not aware, let me make it clear in strongest term that I hate and abhor any kind of abuse and will never support any perpetrator of such.
However, it has become very clear that the family unit needs to tackle this ugly trend of abuses and therefore the need for this post.
PHYSICAL ABUSE: when a spouse physically assaults his/her partner and causes bodily harm to him/ her.
VERBAL ABUSE: when a spouse curses, insults and or uses hurtful words on his/her partner to inflict emotional harm.

In many countries, the emphasis is largely on physical abuse with scant regard for verbal abuse victims, however statistics have shown that victims of verbal abuse suffer in various ways and some become suicidal with time.

There is also a wide gender gap between the two. Women are mostly victims of physical abuse, while men are mostly victims of verbal abuse. My question is why are victims of verbal abuse not equally treated with the sympathy given to victims of physical abuse? Why is there no specified jail term for verbal abusers?

I believe in the quest to strike a fair balance and drive any form of abuse from our homes, both types of abuses should receive equal attention. Both genders should be adequately protected.

MY TWO CENTS.

They are equally BAD!
They both leave SCARS THAT NEVER HEAL!!!

Both!

Kanwulia: They are equally BAD!
They both leave SCARS THAT NEVER HEAL!!!

Wow I made the mistake of looking at your profile. You are absolutely gorgeous! I refuse to be tempted!

Back to topic. I believe both forms of abuse should be given equal attention to discourage perpetrators

When you are young, Physical.


When you are old, Verbal.

The thing about emotional abuse is that it is too vague. Can you define it? If it's words, what one can deem hurtful will just be brushed aside by another. Someone says "he makes me feel inferior and less than a person". It is based so much on perception, feeling, etc.

It is so hard to quantify emotional abuse so (logical) people tend to disregard it and focus on what can be quantified which is physical abuse.

verbal abuse can affect a child more and reduce their self-esteem

Dinachi, I know why you started the thread but it is a good one all the same.

Any form of abuse is bad and should be frowned at. In fact most verbal abusers are also physical abusers (if my grammer is right), unless in the case of self defence and I will explain. Most times, they go hand in hand.

Most men that beat their wives usually start by insulting her, calling her all sorts of terrible names and making her feel worthless. They now top it up with physical abuse.

On the other hand, lots of women verbally abuse their husbands too but they end it there because they perceive they cannot physically abuse their husbands. If they could, they would and some daring women even slap their husbands these days.

Now comes the case of self defence which I know is where you are going. Some women verbally abuse their husbands to the extent that the only way the men can defend themselves is by physically abusing their wives. The truth is that neither is justified in the case. Both parties are wrong and that is the truth.

On why there is more emphasis on physical abuse, it is very obvious. The first reason is that it is very easier to prove. It is easier to prove that someone with a swollen eye or broken/ bleeding nose is a victim of abuse than someone who claims he/she feels terrible because of what his/her spouse says to him/her.

Without a doubt, one is alot more dangerous and potentially deadly than the other. Physical abuse can cause immediate death/broken ribs while I know verbal abuse can cause alot of anger, emotion, resentment, it cannot immediately kill you and it would be very difficult to link it to death.

However, I agree that all parties should be equally protected in marriage.

.....physical Abuse is worse than 'verbal abuse'(whatever that means)..

blank: The thing about emotional abuse is that it is too vague? Can you define it? If it's words, what one can deem hurtful will just be brushed aside by another. Someone says "he makes me feel inferior and less than a person". It is based so much on perception, feeling, etc.

It is so hard to quantify emotional abuse so (logical) people tend to disregard it and focus on what can be quantified which is physical abuse.

Totally agree with you...as far as concerned,there is nothing like verbal abuse,cos it's all about perception.Reason why it's not against the law unlike physical abuse which is also assault and can land the perpetrator in jail.

Both

Physical is the worst,verbal can't ruffle me as am pretty much endowed in that department, if need be.

Ngokafor:

Totally agree with you...as far as concerned,there is nothing like verbal abuse,cos it's all about perception.Reason why it's not against the law unlike physical abuse which is also assault and can land the perpetrator in jail.

Not true. Read a recent research that established conclusively that d human brain deals with emotional hurt in a similar it does physical pain. If this is true, then u can't quantify the amount of pain inflicted on d human psyche by people who verbally abuse others, unlike physical abuse where d wounds can be seen.

Think I can safely say that physical abuse is mostly inflicted by men, while verbal abuse by women. While d woman goes ahead to heal after treatment, d man sooner than later developes health issues like hbp,stroke et al that come with stress(physical or emotional).

byvan: Physical is the worst,verbal can't ruffle me as am pretty much endowed in that department, if need be.

verbal abuse is worse.....
the fact that there are no visible signs on the victim makes it very bad. the victim suffers alone & there's no proof. psychological/emotional damage is worse than any physical abuse.

[quote author=zomoears]


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Coogar, verbal is betteroooo,you get to dish as you get.Physical nah different ball game,i hate physical injuries of any kind.


One can only damage you psychologically if you let them.

byvan: Coogar, verbal is betteroooo,you get to dish as you get.Physical nah different ball game,i hate physical injuries of any kind.

One can only damage you psychologically if you let them.

the tongue is powerful than any physical blows. you are only speaking for yourself here. what about the hundreds of millions of people who get hurt with words & cannot speak back?

coogar:

verbal abuse is worse.....
the fact that there are no visible signs on the victim makes it very bad. the victim suffers alone & there's no proof. psychological/emotional damage is worse than any physical abuse.

. I agree wit dis. Sm parent even verbaly abuse their kids witout knowing(I don't mean d *jonnie u are a dirty boy,pick up ur socks)I mean real terrible words. If there is anytin I wil protect my kids against its verbal abuse. Well wen it coms to r/ships...I don't know y anyone one wil wait 2 b abused b4 walking out

Yesooo,am speaking for myself in this case,generally most consider verbal abuse more hurtful.

Both are horrible, However, I feel physical is worse because most times the abuser would have destroyed you verbally before going into physical abuse. most people that are physically abusive are also verbally abusive.

Verbal abuse is the worst form of abuse known to mankind. It can make a man impot*ent , make one commit suicide, become a bokoharam member, infact most of the bad pple we c around were abused verbally.
Physical abuse is always seen as the worst bc it mostly has to do with a man beating a women and women r seen as the weaker sex who cannot help themselves if not,u can never compare it to the silent, never seen verbal abuse.
My cous sis abused her step son verbally so tee he almost turned to slowpoke. Always the last in class cos he was told so and never encouraged. At 15yrs still in primary five.......
Infact,make una leave matter.

yellowpawpaw: Verbal abuse is the worst form of abuse known to mankind.

No. That's emotional abuse. It is often part of other types of abuse (verbal and physical), but emotional abuse is the most damaging of all.

Both are terrible.none is better than the other.as a matter of fact,take it or leave it nigeria and many nigerian marriages will never be free from these 2 because many women are used to the 2 from their husband with the excuse 'o love me ni'

the kids see this,copy and practicalize it on their juniours or peers,thats why there are many bullies in primary and secondary school, some teachers too will tell a child you are too daft,you can never succed,as big as you are nothing is in your head,that will add to the already traumatized person that has already seen and experienced physical and verbal abuse at home.father exhibits violence on mother,mother transfers aggression to child or house help which mighr be both and the vicious cycle continues over and over again

Physical.

It can directly lead to death or injury

yellowpawpaw: Verbal abuse is the worst form of abuse known to mankind. It can make a man impot*ent , make one commit suicide, become a bokoharam member, infact most of the bad pple we c around were abused verbally.
Physical abuse is always seen as the worst bc it mostly has to do with a man beating a women and women r seen as the weaker sex who cannot help themselves if not,u can never compare it to the silent, never seen verbal abuse.
My cous sis abused her step son verbally so tee he almost turned to slowpoke. Always the last in class cos he was told so and never encouraged. At 15yrs still in primary five.......
Infact,make una leave matter.

Both are terrible but i think effects of verbal abuse sometimes lasts longer than physical abuse. Many people fall prey to all manner of illnesses like High Blood Pressure and even Stroke due to verbal abuse, the only thing is that it is difficult to quantify. But then I believe that the law should make provisions for presenting witnesses and video or audio recordings to aid in such cases. Determining whether to convict should rest on the judge and or the jury. The bottom line should be to discourage all FORMS of abuse and make the family unit safe.

I only cyberabuse.

and I do that only to people who abuse me first.

God forgive me.


****

@topic, people can grow thick skin to verbal abuse but no one can be too thick for the physical one. The Physical leaves its evidence on the victim.

So, the physical is seen as worse than the verbal.

No matter what people say to me for example, I can't be bothered since I know myself but if una touch me, I Will cry for dayss.. I know that.

Ile, which one be emotional again?
Verbal is it not emotional?
If I tell u that u r not going to worth anything in ur lifetime, which one is that pls?

Deols, He will forgive u.
U r very funny

U r not right here, Deols.
U can never ever growth thick skin to verbal abuse. It follows u everywhere like ur shadow.
In some cases u may want to prove the person wrong to ur advantage at last but its dependant on d person being abused.

yellowpawpaw: If I tell u that u r not going to worth anything in ur lifetime, which one is that pls?

Emotional and verbal. Emotional abuse often includes verbal but can be also be done in other ways.

Physical abuse is worse,you can decide not to let the words(verbal Abuse)get to you or affect you while in physical abuse you cannot determine the extent of damage to your body,you are helpless and at the mercy of your abuser.

dayokanu: Physical.
It can directly lead to death or injury

so those kids that commit suicide after being called names in school by their mates are indirect to death or injury?

Both as bad as the other.But personally I cant stand to be have anyone panel beat me. I have always hated any form of physical confrontation, only ever been in a physical altercation(secondary school) once in my whole life.For days, people kept coming to my class as they could not believe I could slap a fly talk less of another person but the girl was just a bully and I needed to stand up for myself.I got punished and I felt bad about it.Make person no come spoil my fine face .I am really a wimp in that area, so no I cant stand physical abuse from a partner.

I dont think verbal abuse is quantifiable.Its more emotional abuse.Very dangerous as well.Verbal abuse is kinda vague so I think its more emotional. Some people are just sharp tongued but won't really shred your self confidence.But some people are calm, quiet but just one word ehn or even look sef you will shrink to nothing.I know sharp tongued people who really mean no harm but know some quiet people that you need some level of self confidence or self belief to interact with them if not you will want to disappear.

E.g. Ordinary 'Shut up' might hurt or not hurt some people. But "Really? Really? I have told you your IQ is not up to par, stop disgracing me in public with your below par intelligence".

1st statement is rude but to me statement 2 said over time does more damage.

I saw a woman at the hospital yesterday. It was her brother who brought her to the emergency unit.

The complaint? abnormal behaviour. The first question the doctor asked was about her marital status. Brother explained that she recently got divorced.

Nothing in her history says she was beaten. It must have been totally emotional.

Both forms of abuse must be avoided by all means.