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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Travel / Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes (38301 Views)
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Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by zube01(m): 4:49pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
1. Securing beds...in Economy Class! There's a game Nigerian passengers play whenever they're on-board a semi-full airplane - It's kind of similar to Musical Chairs...but without the music. Passengers snub the seats assigned to them and scout for a stretch of three to four empty seats before take-off. Handbags and other luggage items are strategically placed on empty seats in the hope for that Business Class experience - pathetic. 2. Making dramatic Nollywood scenes. Whoever said 'Rules are meant to be broken' must have been a Nigerian. We're pretty damn good at breaking rules...into smithereens, just for good measure. There was one woman sat at the front of economy class with her less-than-a-year-old baby. She put her baby down on the empty seat next to her when the seat belt light was off (not sure if that's proper in the first place but I'll let her off on that one). The moment the seat belt light was back on, however, one of the air hostesses called her to order and told her to strap her baby in place - RED ALERT! RED ALERT! MAY DAY! MAY DAY! You knew from the way the irritated mother turned her neck with that 'oh-no-you-didn't' expression all over her face that cabin pressure was under serious threat. Needless today she told the air hostess to mind her own business - ironically, that's what the air-hostess was trying to do in the first place...Safety of passengers...DUH! I can't remember if the thud I heard later on was due to turbulence or because the baby had rolled off the chair... 3. Taking pictures. You can imagine trying to enjoy a good book when suddenly the corner of your eye picks up the flash photography of some newbie whose obviously hell-bent on convincing everyone back in Nigeria that he/she indeed travel abroad. Newsflash! There may be people with photosensitive epilepsy on-board or nearby pilots wondering if there is a terrorist hijacking, with one unfortunate Nigerian who decided to break one simple rule 'DON'T MOVE!' (go figure!) 4. Farting. It's bad enough you left your assigned seat at the front and decided to come behind me and stretch yourself across four empty seats. Now you're so generous as to share your flatulence with me in small doses of ammonia-laced farts...not a one-off...periodic discharges which could catch choke me unawares if I dare yawn. FYI, avoid fizzy drinks on the plane if you know you can't handle your abdominal tract like few pros among us. 5. Drink to stupor. Is it the sheer pettiness of wanting to get one's money's worth that would make a passenger drink like a fish? (Remember, its Nigerians we're talking about here). Of course, it's not the drinking that bothers me but the mindless banter and laughter at completely 'unfunny' things that drives me up the Berlin wall (just like that - after a couple of drinks you'd be in stitches when you read 'drive me up the berlin wall'). 6. Leaving toilets unlocked. Common sense consistently fails to prevail when most Nigerians use the airline's restrooms. It all boils down to refusing to acknowledge the instructions/directions carefully displayed all around them. It's quite simple - you enter the restroom and close it behind you. Right there on door is a slide lock which denotes 'Slide left to lock and right to open'. Why wouldn't I be interested in making sure that no one accidentally sees my 'bits'? Didn't they notice the green 'vacant' or the red 'occupied' sign before entering the lavatory? At my last count I've walked in on 3 unfortunate passengers who forgot to lock behind (but they all did once I exposed them...makes you wonder, eh?). 7. Sitting ovation. I'm not sure if you can relate but you're nearing your flight destination and as soon as the plane lands successfully passengers around you start to clap until virtually everyone joins in. Why are they doing this, you ask? beats me - for landing safely or for not crashing into the deep blue sea or for getting their money's worth after usurping the mini bar...I dunno. The clapping is cheesy in my opinion. I'd much prefer passengers go one by one to shake the pilot(s) for a job well done plane well-landed. And coming in at a surprise number 8 is Irregular exercise. Make no mistake about it, Nigerians are terrified about premature death, more so than the average civilian (if that makes any sense). I've seen the most bizarre repetitions performed from kicking mid-air to punching only your left arm over the seat head in the same direction. Deep Vein thrombosis is no laughing matter so I guess all I have to do is close my eyes next time if I don't want to behold seemingly amateurish 'Kung-fu'. 24 Likes |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 5:47pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
I remember the clapping stuff. Actually experienced it once, and I had to ask what was going on ![]() How bout the first-time flyers who panic at everything? I remember this woman who was on a flight with us going to Lagos. When the plane was about taking-off, this woman kept screaming, "Jesus! Blood of Jesus! Edi oh! ("come oh" in Efik) and she was panicking and even making passengers including myself scared. She got calm after we took off, but when we started flying over the clouds, and the plane started bouncing a little bit, she started again. This time, she frightened 2 little kids and they started crying and chai, the noise eh. God have mercy! Funny enough, this woman had 3 kids who just kept staring at her like she'd run mad or something. I'm not sure the oldest kid was more than 16yrs. 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by pweetixandy: 7:44pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
dis wont change a fin 4 Likes |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 9:18pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
This last journey I saw a lot of people drinking little bottles of wine and requesting more food from the cabin crew. What actually annoys me about flying is the fact that I travel with little kids but the passengers in front of me recline their seats so much that my kids have to be squeezed. When you politely as them they'll tell you to recline yours too, that it's their right. It's not about right it's about consideration! These have all been Nigerians. The only passenger who didn't recline his seat when he saw my girls was a white man 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by checkdate(m): 12:41pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
if you remember that this is a repeated subject. kindly click like . . . . . https://www.nairaland.com/1241005/7-annoying- things-nigerians-airplanes 77 Likes |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by rubii09: 12:41pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
Nigerians no de carry last. |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:43pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
2 Likes |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:44pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
taking pictures |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by richgang(m): 12:44pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
what of us wen never come enter plane , weti una say make we comment ![]() 19 Likes |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:46pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
@OP, have you ever sat beside an old Nigerian madam, probably visiting her grandchildren? Trust me, what you wrote up there is not annoying as sitting beside old madams. 3 Likes |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by funkybaby(f): 12:46pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
![]() 1 Like |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:46pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
OK, now i get. Zube01 has flown abroad before. ![]() In other news, abeg who go borrow me tecno charger? ![]() |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Guidette(f): 12:47pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
I just travelled 2 days ago on a flight to London. i think there were only 2 Nigerians like me on the flight and the rest were mostly British. i experience the periodic farting.... it was horrible. I think Oyinbo mess is worse than any other type of mess i have experienced in my life *pukes* I also experienced the drinking thing too. An oyinbo lady sitting beside me drank nearly 8 bottles of the small wines they serve on BA. It got so bad that she went to sleep, woke up 2 hrs later and was nearly delirious. It took the intervention of 2 of the flight attendants to calm her down. They took her to the back of the plane and she disappeared for an hr. When she returned, I saw another 2 bottles of wine in her hand ![]() ![]() So please don't generalise.... Nigerians are not the only ones that do things like that. You need to travel other routes and see that human beings of all races and creeds are the same everywhere. 93 Likes |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by noskeybaba: 12:48pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
What concerns a bird with a toothbrush? ![]() ANNOYING THINGS oN MOLUE BUs: Those madakakas selling ru ![]() 35 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:48pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
op, I see you don travel before. we don see sm.next |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by mrphysics(m): 12:49pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
one day i will fly and do the worst annoying thing, naija, i will keep breaking records until i see my name in the guiness book of record |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by thiefnubu(m): 12:50pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
Trying to mutallab the plane... while blowing off their scrotums in the process...*runs out of thread before I get mutallabed*.. 5 Likes |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nuzo1(m): 12:51pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
Nothing wrong in celebrating after being successfully flown in a coffin called airplanes across the Niger. One may never know the difference if all you've ever flown in are Arik and Aero contractors local flights. However, most Nigerians are very lousy on board. Those morafakas will chat as if they are in their sitting room while liquidating the alcohol meant for 4 plane trips. 1 Like |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:51pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
richgang: what of us wen never come enter plane , weti una say make we comment U fit try stowaway like that Benin kid ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:52pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
I fly my private jet 4 Likes |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by stelaar(m): 12:52pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
Taking up the hand luggage space above your seat before you even get to your seat ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Archmed(m): 12:52pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
Nigerians are the BEST!! Forget |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by oloriooko(m): 12:52pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
@ OP So what? We are Nigerians and proud of it, we do not give a hoot whose ox is gourde ![]() For your info, I experienced the clapping thing aboard a plane to Greece though a clean probably new plane, immediately we touched down all the oyinbos started clapping to my utmost surprise but if done here, it's an annoying thing abi? 10 Likes |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by 190theclown: 12:53pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
Soon very soon i'll be there ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:54pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
None of the things you wrote is peculiar to Nigerians, even the 'landing' ovation. 4 Likes |
Re: Annoying Things Nigerians Do On Airplanes by Nobody: 12:54pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
The most annoying things nigerians do on plane is to fly the plane & clash it. 4 Likes |
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