HCH3COO:

you missed the question.  he asked why you're hell bent on having the man pay on the first date.

hell bent ke? that is just what i know. that is how i have always been treated. i meet someone, we go out , he pays. That is what i am use to and expect. And if i was the one who did the toasting, instead of me paying to go out, i will cook.

onyinye2:

hell bent ke? that is just what i know. that is how i have always been treated. i meet someone, we go out , he pays. That is what i am use to and expect. And if i was the one who did the toasting, instead of me paying to go out, i will cook.

But if he cooks you call him cheap, right? Besides, i thought you said your dad wouldn't allow you to bring him to your home

KarmaMod:

IBK, to be honest, On the first date even if the girl suggest paying and the dude accepts. He's shameless.

What I am saying is that if the girl is the one who pursued the guy, as in asked him to come on the date, she should not go empty handed, she should atleast make an attempt or even make it look like she will pay, i stated before that the guy will most likely offer and even be impressed if he sees that the girl is making an effort to pay. The point is, if the girl pursued, she should not come empty handed and automatically expect the guy to pay.

seriously, would u guys accept that the woman pays for the first date??

KarmaMod:

IBK, to be honest, On the first date even if the girl suggest paying and the dude accepts. He's shameless.

Shameless, maybe.  If feminists keep flapping their wings like hens screaming 50:50 at everything, I don't see why a first date should be exempt.

ibkaye:

@David
She said that she beleives that the man should always pay on the first date because 'that is how she was brought up in the south'

if you think it is silly, we that is your cup of tea, but for me it is what is suppose to happen. If you think my way is wrong, selfish, and what do you want me to do about it?

ibkaye:

Yeah, that's what I'm saying also, that you think the man should always pay on the first date, that's what i said, 'I am talking about the 'first' date, that's what i meant when I said 'at all times', as in 'at all times on the first date', i did not say that you said 'at all dates'  

that is just how it works.

ibkaye:

What I am saying is that if the girl is the one who pursued the guy, as in asked him to come on the date, she should not go empty handed, she should atleast make an attempt or even make it look like she will pay, i stated before that the guy will most likely offer and even be impressed if he sees that the girl is making an effort to pay. The point is, if the girl pursued, she should not come empty handed and automatically expect the guy to pay.

its very rare, even in this day and age, that the girl persues the man.

ibkaye:

What I am saying is that if the girl is the one who pursued the guy, as in asked him to come on the date, she should not go empty handed,

While I agree with your stance in regards to THAT situation, how OFTEN does that even happen?

HCH3COO:

But if he cooks you call him cheap, right?  Besides, i thought you said your dad wouldn't allow you to bring him to your home  

Him cheap ke? not at all. i wouldn't even allow that to cross my mind. And gini?, i don't live with my parents.

onyinye2:

that is just how it works.

you still can't rationalize your stance with good logic.



this is why it is always going to be a man's world.

onyinye2:

if you think it is silly, we that is your cup of tea, but for me it is what is suppose to happen. If you think my way is wrong, selfish, and what do you want me to do about it?

Where did I mention that it is silly, wrong or selfish?  
I was just helping you to answer David's question  
Is that not exactly what you said to me before, that 'that is the way you were brought up in the south?'  

blue-sky:

its very rare, even in this day and age, that the girl persues the man.

It is rare but it still happens

To me personally, if the man cant pay for the first date, or even show the initiative of paying, it shows he's tight.
Why is everyone picking on onyinye

KarmaMod:

While I agree with your stance in regards to THAT situation, how OFTEN does that even happen?

It does not happen often, but that does not mean that it does not happen at all

HCH3COO:

you still can't rationalize your stance with good logic.
this is why it is always going to be a man's world.  

well that is your opinion. i can't change yours, and you can't change mine.

blue-sky:

To me personally, if the man can't pay for the first date, or even show the initiative of paying, it shows he's tight.
Why is everyone picking on onyinye

Nobody is picking on onyinye, we are just not agreeing and trying to state our points

blue-sky:

To me personally, if the man can't pay for the first date, or even show the initiative of paying, it shows he's tight.
Why is everyone picking on onyinye

Nwannem nwanyi, im cool.

ibkaye:

It does not happen often, but that does not mean that it does not happen at all

It does happen and OBVIOUSLY since SHE asked the dude out, she should have some cash on hand but I think we are talking of the "traditional" role, where it's usually the HE doing the asking out. Even then it's ok for the girl to put money down/offer to pay but if the dude actually relies on that then he's pathetic

KarmaMod:

It does happen and OBVIOUSLY since SHE asked the dude out, she should have some cash on hand but I think we are talking of the "traditional" role, where it's usually the HE doing the asking out. Even then it's ok for the girl to put money down/offer to pay but if the dude actually relies on that then he's pathetic

what your talkin about is what i call vex money, its a kind of back up just in any case the guyy should bail.

KarmaMod:

It does happen and OBVIOUSLY since SHE asked the dude out, she should have some cash on hand but I think we are talking of the "traditional" role, where it's usually the HE doing the asking out. Even then it's ok for the girl to put money down/offer to pay but if the dude actually relies on that then he's pathetic

exactly, the point is, you pursue, you pay, the problem with some girls is, even when they are the ones who pursue, they automatically think that it is the guy's job to pay, she should at least bring cash and attempt, if the guy offers which hopefully he most likely will, that's good, girls, just don't sit there and expect him to fork out the dosh when it was you who invited him to the restaurant

Baxilexi:


what your talkin about is what i call vex money, its a kind of back up just in any case the guyy should bail.

bail?
Vex money? I don't get you o

If she asked the dude out, then yes, she has to pay, ofcourse. I know it does happen, but none of my girlfriends have persued a guy, so cant really relate to it.
If he askes the girl out, he has to pay. I woman likes to be wined and dined

KarmaMod:

It does happen and OBVIOUSLY since SHE asked the dude out, she should have some cash on hand but I think we are talking of the "traditional" role, where it's usually the HE doing the asking out. Even then it's ok for the girl to put money down/offer to pay but if the dude actually relies on that then he's pathetic

Its funny how women always expect the "traditional role" when it comes to dates but refuse to toe the traditional role when it comes to the woman's place in the home.

Dont you just love these women who speak with three sides of the mouth?  

blue-sky:

If she asked the dude out, then yes, she has to pay, ofcourse. I know it does happen, but none of my girlfriends have persued a guy, so can't really relate to it.
If he askes the girl out, he has to pay. I woman likes to be wined and dined

exactly, that is what we have all been saying from the beginning, i guess you did not read the previous posts
We are not picking onyinye, but trying to get her to understand

OMG!! My little Ibk is growing up

@oyinye
I have to disagree with you here honey.

But whoever initiated the date pays.

What if the dude doesn't have any money with him when you asked him out? Where is he going to get money to pay?

I think this is why some dude ditches some women on their date. Cuz they know they'll have to pay the bills when they ain't got no money.

ibkaye:

exactly, that is what we have all been saying from the beginning, i guess you did not read the previous posts
We are not picking onyinye, but trying to get her to understand

ah ok, yeh i just skipped to the last page

davidylan:

Its funny how women always expect the "traditional role" when it comes to dates but refuse to toe the traditional role when it comes to the woman's place in the home.

Dont you just love these women who speak with three sides of the mouth?

what is this traditional role u r talking about? please enlighten me.

Ruby_Pearl:

OMG!! My little Ibk is growing up

@oyinye
I have to disagree with you here honey.

But whoever initiated the date pays.

What if the dude doesn't have any money with him when you asked him out? Where is he going to get money to pay?

I think this is why some dude ditches some women on their date. Cuz they know they'll have to pay the bills when they ain't got no money.

Completely agree with that

Ruby_Pearl:

[B]OMG!! My little Ibk is growing up[/b]

@oyinye
I have to disagree with you here honey.

But whoever initiated the date pays.

What if the dude doesn't have any money with him when you asked him out? Where is he going to get money to pay?

I think this is why some dude ditches some women on their date. Cuz they know they'll have to pay the bills when they ain't got no money.

Hehehehehe

blue-sky:

ah ok, yeh i just skipped to the last page

YOU SEE!

Ruby_Pearl:

OMG!! My little Ibk is growing up  

@oyinye
I have to disagree with you here honey.

But whoever initiated the date pays.

What if the dude doesn't  have any money with him when you asked him out? Where is he going to get money to pay?

I think this is why some dude ditches some women on their date. Cuz they know they'll have to pay the bills when they ain't got no money.

I would first ask why did he ask me out in the first place if he had no money? But as i said if i pursue a guy[i](i've only done it once)[/i] then instead of me paying to take him out, i invite him over to my place to where i prepared the meal for the both of us.

blue-sky:

what is this traditional role you're talking about? please enlighten me.

I'm sure you know.

onyinye, na dis kind talk u like

davidylan:

Its funny how women always expect the "traditional role" when it comes to dates but refuse to toe the traditional role when it comes to the woman's place in the home.

Dont you just love these women who speak with three sides of the mouth?

Um I meant traditional role of guy asking girl

and I do pay for first dates because I don't trust Naija animals that think they are entitled to anything because they spent like $15 on food. I also pay for movies LIKE a certain VANTAGE POINT

onyinye2:

I would first ask why did he ask me out in the first place if he had no money? But as i said if i pursue a guy[i](i've only done it once)[/i] then instead of me paying to take him out, i invite him over to my place to where i prepared the meal for the both of us.

onyinye if you initiated the date first, do you still expect the guy to pay??
cuz i would have expected you to at least attempt the to pay until the guy says he will.