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Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by buchibabe: 5:57pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
Frm all indications, theres a strange woman lurking around. Abeg woman, dnt give urself high blood pressure o,if nt anoda woman wil step in and maltreat ur son. If its not worth it, step out!!! |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by ifebosco: 5:59pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
Joel.:90% of my friends who went to africa to marry are divorcees today,africans are gullible people who believes they have culture,but what they have is wickedness and extreme greed,one of them his White wife with two children took credit of 50,000euros for him to start up a business,he collected the money and went to nigeria to marry another wife,this is not only and ibo thing,it´s the mentality of extreme greed and wickedness,thesame thing happen´s to our politicians,when ever they get to power,the very first thing they do, is to get alot of concubines,and the cicle continues 3 Likes |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by LyfeJennings(m): 6:47pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
This Oyinbo woman is such an awesome woman. I really wish I could advise U but the Lord is your strength. Itis well 1 Like |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by rhames(m): 7:15pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
To all non- Africans who are getting married to or are about to get married to Africans. I am of the opinion that you should study your husbands culture before saying I do. An African will always be an African,irrespective of his position in society or economic status. We take our culture more seriously than religion. And in some cases,most people use religion as excuse for wayward behavior. An African man can decide to take a second or third or even a fourth wife. If their is family influence in your marriage which is sacrosanct in African culture, you cannot escape its consequences. To you my dear, please take heart and discuss the issues of your marriage with your husband. He might be afraid of losing custody of the child but summon every bit of courage to discuss this with him if you actually love him. In your own case, it is clear he married you to have a residence visa and stop gap for his sexual urges. To all men of African origin who are not married. Always educate your would-be first wife about your intentions before you start a wedding proposal to another woman. |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by Howmanage: 7:16pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
I had a cousin in this situation, not white though. An elderly aunt advised her that if she still loved him and wanted him she should stay, because if he is an adulterer he will always find a way to cheat. She was advised to take precautions to safeguard her health (condoms) and finances while maintaining good relations with her hubby that is no rows over other women. With time, she would gain the strength to either outlast the other woman, or to wean herself of the man and walk out |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by LyfeJennings(m): 7:24pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
. |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by duni04(m): 7:35pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
tonychristopher:rubbish 1 Like |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by dailywealth1967: 7:45pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
Break his 2 legs & any how make him a cripple.His ambition wld ave been cut off after being hospitalised for 365days |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by Nobody: 7:53pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
Wifey,it's sad but crystal clear that your husband doesn't love you.He's only using you,and he must have seen how pliable and ingenuous you are before proposing to marry you.I think you very much fit into his devious plans and have inadvertently played your part to the extreme in bringing said plans to fruition.Nevertheless,I feel very much for you.A good woman like you deserves better.Sorry,your husband doesn't deserve you. |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by bigfrancis21: 8:00pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
Cele-pope: From what I've gathered and learned so far, the children of many Nigerians married to whites rarely remember their native home or bother to return. Most prefer to stay/live in the foreign country than return home. And the parents of the Nigerian parent(ie the children's grand parents) see them as being lost forever to America and the US life with little or no hopes of returning to Nigeria. That's why most Nigerian parents want their children to marry Nigerians, to enable the offsprings have that Nigerian connexion and sense of home and also return when due. I guess the op's husband trying to marry a girl from his village has the same concerns and wants to have full-blooded Nigerian children who will always know they are fully Nigerians and also represent him back home while he continues his life with his Swiss life. 1 Like |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by lokzie: 8:11pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
lokzie: @OP If you story is true,i hope your marriage will be redeemed. However, i think you are a Nigerian and your story is a fantasy. Though English isn't the first language of the Swiss, and though you have been associated with a Nigerian for 10yrs now, you made errors that most Swiss who speak English wouldn't (Swiss also make errors, so that isn't the issue but as a naija guy, i can smell 'our' English). check yourself out .... thinking I didnt hear the Igbo , you've been fearing that, have I married another woman? , ...praises his friends who married in Nigeria (from the context,it seems you didn't necessarily mean location of wedding but that their wives were Nigerians) .There are a lot more of these that suggest you aren't who you say you are, but i don't want to spend more time analyzing. Let us just reflect statement This topic has been bothering me but it becomes a real emergency.... |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by ifebosco: 8:46pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
rhames: To all non- Africans who are getting married to or are about to get married to Africans. I am of the opinion that you should study your husbands culture before saying I do. An African will always be an African,irrespective of his position in society or economic status. We take our culture more seriously than religion. And in some cases,most people use religion as excuse for wayward behavior. An African man can decide to take a second or third or even a fourth wife. If their is family influence in your marriage which is sacrosanct in African culture, you cannot escape its consequences.please can you tellme one good thing about our african culture and in continuation tellme one african country that has practice these african culture and they are progressingi want to learn please |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by Mina98(f): 9:04pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
Stop being afraid of him and confront him,he know you're volunerable and have been using that against you. Fight for what belongs to you and stop making him give you excuses,he is Igbo right? You better hold yourself well before he uses you for ritual. |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by Taiwo20(m): 9:09pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
wifee: How do I make him realise that losing me is what he would regret? (I dont think the new wife marries him for love, but money and what he makes people believe about who he is here is far away from truth..in fact I am t one paying all the bills here...) I put it to you that you have entered one chance. You aren't enjoying your marriage at al. I can't advice divorce, but I would advice prayers. If you were my sister,the marriage won't happen and you won't suffer like this. I would have done sth about it. 1 Like |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by LizzyAnn(f): 9:16pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
my sister u re so on point Baby mama: |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by Nobody: 9:27pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
Op is not going to confront him she'll keep on being the scared woman until he finally leaves her. She knows her husband does not love her but she believes crumbs is better than no bread at all. |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by Nobody: 9:49pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
Sorry Lady, but you thought that a man is just a man... You never took the time to really examine him or his background/culture. Why do you think discovery process is so important in many Nigerian marriage customs. To see what kind of family he comes from, educational financial background, if there's certain family history, who his parents are, who they align themselves with... politically, religiously, etc etc That is why I always believe in foreigners at least marrying an african who is permanently residing in their country, that can supply social insurance numbers, permanent resident cards, green cards, health insurance legal jobs etc etc etc. Foolish woman allowing her man to live in the house with no rent, paying no utilities, no bills. Are you daft? Like a learner? I swear, a man was made to work and take care of his family. Yes, hard times exists and marriage is about support one another through those times, but generally I don't know 1 Nigerian man that will boast about his wife furnishing his life unless she is a SUGAR MUMMY. IN which case my girl, there is no love involved, simply business. Do you think he will ever consider letting his mates know that the wifey pays all the bills in the house? Imagine that!!! Then don't be surprised if he wants nothing to do with you... Look sweety, if you are really real... then I say stop playing innocent school girl and get a GRIP!!! I nice firm GRIP. Stop paying the bills, the rent, everything that you pay for, except for where it concerns the child. Then, start saving that cash to get your own place for you to stay with your child. If you really love that man, then start treating him like a man, and not a boy. You are not his mother, or a simple friend, you are his wife!!! If he wants to start playing games on you, then he can do that on his own dime. Not saying this to hurt him or inflict to him, but he needs to understand the gravity of his actions and what he can lose. If he is prepared to lose it, then so be it. Why cry over someone who doesn't even care if you're around or not? Why go to the effort of the loss if he's already gone? Finally, you silly woman, didn't bother him about other women not be the nagging wife? MCHEWWWWWWWW you really are a daft person! Which man wants to have a wife who doesn't mind if he's only hers or not? That his actions have no consequences on your relationship? Really, you need to stop treating him this way, there are things called STANDARDS my dear, and he found that yours are disturbingly low. One where you are telling the husband that he doesn't need to respect you or any marriage vows. My dear, you need to start thinking like a wife and not a high school girlfriend. You need to raise your standards, understand who you are and what you need in order to be in a happy marriage. If he cannot agree to those things, then why would you compromise yourself like that? Then you'll begin to see that you have been basing yourself and allowing him to base you. Love? Is the foundation of a marriage, but trust, respect are the mortar that bind every brick and stone in the house. |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by Nobody: 9:51pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
andromida: Op is not going to confront him she'll keep on being the scared woman until he finally leaves her. She knows her husband does not love her but she believes crumbs is better than no bread at all. Scaredy cat I don't blame her tho |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by kundi90(m): 10:10pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
It is all a lie joor! Same as some other stories on this site. I am suspecting the site owner for these cooked up stories.Trust me. |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by seemylife: 10:42pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
@Wifee, whether you ask him directly or not what will be will be. You stand a better chance of being in control of yourself by taking the bulls by the horns and telling him your fears. Whatever his response then you will know what to do next. The only thing you should focus now on is getting him to tell you what is going on. All the FBI moves you are doing - trying to piece a puzzle together won't help. Tell him your fears. 1 Like |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by seemylife: 10:49pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
rhames: To all non- Africans who are getting married to or are about to get married to Africans. I am of the opinion that you should study your husbands culture before saying I do. An African will always be an African,irrespective of his position in society or economic status. We take our culture more seriously than religion. And in some cases,most people use religion as excuse for wayward behavior. An African man can decide to take a second or third or even a fourth wife. If their is family influence in your marriage which is sacrosanct in African culture, you cannot escape its consequences. I beg to disagree -there is no difference between the African man that is married to more than one wife and the white man that has mistresses here and there. The white man will divorce the wife and marry his mistress. So what is the difference? |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by seemylife: 10:50pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
kundi90: It is all a lie joor! Same as some other stories on this site. I am suspecting the site owner for these cooked up stories.Trust me. Lol...I trust you joor! 1 Like |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by juanmiguel: 10:51pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
obyrich: Something tells me this lady is telling lies! He had his permit before meeting you. Yet you pay ALL the bills. Please balance your report so you can get a constructive advice. I know many Igbos who married white women and are okay with them. One such lady is in my village now while her hubby is abroad. No Igbo can joke with a woman who adds value to his life. Tell us if you forced yourself on him. I'm pretty sure his own story will be different from yours and plausible too.i also knw an 2 igbo men from abia who maried german women, dey r living happily with their kids, their in-laws even follow them to abia |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by unmask: 11:12pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
duni04: OMG! U spent ur life savings building a house 4 him in Nigeria? And he's treating u like this? Sounds like a scam marriage 2 me. He's done everything to tell u, apart 4rm saying it to ur face, that he doesn't want u again. And I thought white women were smarter than this. A Nigerian woman wudnt let her man do half of the things uv described here. He knows ur weak and scared of leaving cos uv invested a lot in him (building a house 4 him in Nigeria with ur life savings!) and he's taking perfect advantage of this. He clearly doesn't luv or respect u anymore. He even has d audacity to tell u about taking anoda wife! Mayb u shud listen 2 ur real friends and do what u have to do and dump his azz. Make sure u milk d hell out of him 4 child support. And omg! U pay all d bills?@bolded, they are smarter, only that unlike Nigerian women they have hearts that loves somethings that isn't money..........@op...my honest advice is stay away from Nigerian men, They have been made evil by the women......similar to eve feeding |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by Efizzi: 11:25pm On Dec 21, 2013 |
@op be happy. Life is too short so live your life and Love unconditionally above all Love God and be happy. Then you would be fulfilled. True satisfaction comes from God even if your husband sleeps with all the women in the world he won't be satisfied till he has Jesus. Invite Jesus to your family today. Please try your best to be happy. Do things that make you happy. Learn to Love and forgive. |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by otokx(m): 12:13am On Dec 22, 2013 |
@op the earlier you get a lawyer the better for you, also get a strong plan b for life as a single mother. |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by vodkat: 12:26am On Dec 22, 2013 |
wifee: First of all, please don't call me mad. I am not the jealous type at all. crocodile tears all i can say to you is if you are truly a good wife no right thinking man would want to leave you. The moment you start pointing a finger four is pointed back at u. if somebody asks the man he will surely say what you are doing wrong. Only u knows cos u leave toghether. All i can say is U are leaving out some info on your behaviour at home, what you do, your attitude(negative/positive), your cooking, your being submissive, your shape, your nagging and your family. |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by Nobody: 12:53am On Dec 22, 2013 |
@ OP PLEASE, get a bigger gun and shoot him to death. He's of no use to you if he did all these at your face! Thank you. |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by Truckpusher(m): 1:25am On Dec 22, 2013 |
mgbeketoto: You married an 'Ibo' man huhn?I smell something......why do i have this feeling that i know you? |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by Truckpusher(m): 1:28am On Dec 22, 2013 |
wifee: Id love to cook for my husband but he is being so complicated anytime I cooked for him and didnt even taste it..For example I prepared MMoimoiwhich took me very long and he didnt try it...Nne bia you dun enter one chance......na God go fit solve your problem now. |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by thoth: 1:30am On Dec 22, 2013 |
Something tells me the whole story is made up and the OP is just a bored liar trying to stir something up . |
Re: Help! Is My Husband Marrying A Second Wife? by uchrikk(m): 2:16am On Dec 22, 2013 |
The facts according to you include: -he shows no interested in you for over 8 months now, -he talks to a girl and her mum on phone for hours, -you overlook this behavior of his because you want to save the marriage, -you pay the bills and you are capable of sustaining yourself as a single mother, -he makes jokes about taking a second wife and you have made it clear that you would leave if he does, -you built a house with him. Well, it is difficult to come up with an advice here. You have built high hopes of which it would be a painful thing to see the hopes crumble BUT you have to get ready for it. Prepare your mind for it. All the facts above point to the fact that the man has gotten most of the thing he wanted from you. He is African and until recently, most African men are poligamous. If he is taking a second wife, you honestly expect him to tell you in clear terms. He already told you in jokes and you didn't take him seriously. Even if those are mere jokes, he no longer shows love for you. The fact that you made this post shows that you want to do something about it and needs advice on what to do. Whatever you do, bear it in mind that your health and your life are the most important thing to you. If you are healthy, you can take care of your children. You also need your children's father to stay alive so that they would know who he is and how he treats them. If you are healthy, you can build another house anywhere in the world with time. Don't bother yourself about whether he wants to marry another wife or not. Don't bother about what you invested in the marriage over the years. Don't bother yourself about him being an African or not. You have strong beliefs, even to the point of weakness, about how an ideal marriage should last long till old age. It is not over until it is over. Since you are still in this marriage, do your best to make it work. To the best of your knowledge, you are still his wife, the only wife at that. You have to step up and build your home. If he has made up his mind to scatter the marriage, he is going to do it anyway. From now on, ask him questions. Try as much as possible to be polite about it. Dress up nice and let him know you are dressing for him. Each time he turns you down, ask him why he is treating you that way. Go to him. So far as he does not beat you, go to him. Try getting the truth about any other girl or marriage from him. You can do this by being extremely nice. Even though the fact, according to you, is that you would walk away from the marriage if he gets a second wife, tell him instead that you don't mind if he marries 10 wives. That all you care about is that he takes care of you and your children. This will make him to feel free and open up to you. You still have to ask questions even if as jokes because he won't talk if you don't ask. It requires a lot of patience. Lastly, find ways to make him spend his money on his children. No matter how little. It shouldn't be you paying all the bills all the time. If he is still hanging in the marriage because you allowed him go free of any financial responsibility, his reaction will make it clear. |
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