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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter (33292 Views)
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Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Nobody: 4:38pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
Op,your own better sef. I know of a lady who didn't see her dad until she was 20 years. Though the man knew he had a daughter but he didn't know how to get in touch with the girl's mum because they lost contact when they were both in the university. The man later got married and has 3 boys. The mother of his daughter is still unmarried till date. I can't remember how they got in touch but I think it was the man that went on a search looking for his daughter who is 27 years old now. Unfortunately, the parents of the man didn't see their lost grand daughter,they only got to see her picture before both of them died. The girl is just a replica of her dad. The man's wife also accepted the girl with open arms after her husband told her of his lost child. Since the union,the man has been taking responsibility of the daughter until she got married. Today,they still remain best of friends. 1 Like |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by ayando(m): 4:40pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
Definitely your wife will be angry but how will ur daughter feel if she knows you never bother to find her? Your concern now is to find the paternity of the said daughter,if she is yours, go and claim what is rightful yours. All the best. 1 Like |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by moscobabs(m): 4:42pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
misery they hapun for Nairaland everyday. who knows maybe ghosts,monsters,witches, wizards,Bks and even jinns are here.Seun don start things wey he no go fit finish ooo |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Nobody: 4:42pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
And lots of us wouldn't hv been in d mess thy find themselves had they ever used their brain instead of third leg to think. I'm sure raincoat was like 10 bucks that time. And gals c that as part of lv. If u can't zip up,used raincoat. Ur future may be ruined for one singular mistake! |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Timijo(m): 4:47pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
smilelane: I once had a relationship with a lady while in university. Before I could come back from one sessional holiday, She has welshed on me. Unfortunately, communication gadgets weren't a commonplace at the time. However, I got in touch with her close friend who said she has decided to drop-out of school and move to settle with family in another region of Nigeria away from mine.Who can buy this story among Nollywood actors ooo? Ok! May be Jim Iyke or Desmond Illiot. |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Memyselfu2009(m): 4:49pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
Well even though u guys re both married that's no issue but she have to let you have a relationship in your Child life. The earlier the better it's best to let your family know the truth then talk to your former gf so u can meet your daughter because if u don't when she grow up nd you want to meet her by then they would have feed her with a lot of lie about u act now nd fast the time now also let your wife know about it not that u cheated on her while u guy were married it was before her this happen. |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Nobody: 4:54pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
You sound like u've had ur mind made up in telling ur wife the situation, or is it that you still are confused and havent decided on what steps to take if any? First i'll take the former, no woman will be happy knowing that somewhere not so far away herein lives a child fathered by her husband, knowingly or unknowingly. Thats room for distrust, a recipé for a divided home, a huge feeling of self guilt and an overdose of disloyalty. Whichever way u look at it. Now the latter, in the event that you have not made up ur mind in what to do, i'd say u take some good time to analyse the situation, put it into context clear all sentiments attached and try and figure out what you actually want given that you never knew and what you dont know wont kill you, so they say. Now my advice, all sentiments aside I think you should move on with your life, see yourself as a Sperm Donor, that takes away the guilt you feel if any. ex communicate urself from the child's mother the mothers friend and the child, afterall she hasnt needed you for 9 years i dont think she does now. She didnt think it imperative to tell you or look for you all these years so why give urself a headache? She is married now hence she should concentrate on her family so do same, Considerate on your family and wish the child and her mother well.... Ask urself this questions Do you need her? (Both) Does she need you? Can i bring this into my family? 1 Like |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by smilelane: 4:54pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
CoCoLav: Na wa for some people here ooo I haven't really slept well since I found out. Thank you for understanding a bit of what I feel 4 Likes |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by NovusHomo(m): 4:55pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
bigfree: @op. You do nothing!!! OMG! Are you serious? 1 Like |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Wallade(m): 5:02pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
@op, I want to put myself in Ur stead, my first worry is: why did she hide the info from me all the while? She didn't make any effort to inform me, it was her friend that informed me. However, I will approach her and her husband for clarification on the paternity of that child. If they agree that the child is mine, I will take full responsibility for the child but let the mother have custody on the condition that I am free to relate with the child as mine and the child is free to spend time with me, if she wishes. |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by NovusHomo(m): 5:04pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
DICKtator: Or if her child/children is/are really yours? That is if you both have children already But more seriously, a family meeting is imperative here. |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by nanizle(m): 5:05pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
9 years old love child. Hmm........... This is serious a matter......... Is it that you want to be a part of the girls life? This will be very hard. The girl already has a father you know. THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS THAT HER MOTHER MUST BE IN SUPPORT OF WHAT EVER PLAN OF ACTION YOU DECIDE TO TAKE... OR ELSE... THE CHILD WILL BEAR THE BRUNT OF THE PARENTAL TUSSLE. SO STEP 1: CONTACT THE MOTHER. STEP 2: DEPENDS ON THE OUTCOME OF STEP 1 ANOTHER ALTERNATIVE IS FOR YOU TO...
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Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by IdomaLikita: 5:06pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
"What Is, Must Be Explored" |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by variance: 5:06pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
Mr man try to ask the woman(i.e the girl' mum) if the girl really belong to you. Let her mum confirm so as not to be saying what is not. |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Nobody: 5:06pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
Sper m donor things. |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Nobody: 5:14pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
smurfy: What is your own definition of cheating? Cheating I believe occurs when one person has a significant other and performs any type of intimate acts with another person! He couldn't have cheated on a wife he never even met as at the time he was dating this lady, unless he was in a relationship with her already. Op's wife might feel threatened or jealous by the thought of a strange woman and child who are going to be in their lives one way or the other; OP didn't cheat on her! |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Abel202: 5:16pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
Na wao, This is the kind of news I have been secretly hoping to hear someday. I would wellcome such news with so much joy. I still can't imagine how I managed not to have fathered a child or 2 before getting married inspite of all my dribbling with ladies. Although at that time I went to a long extent to prevent such a scenario, but now that I am married and I so much love my kids, I wish I started having them earlier. So if anyone has my kids out there, biko inform me right away. I will come and take full charge immediately. Of course a DNA test must have to be done first. Wifey must try to understand because she realises that I love kids. I would wanna have many, but since small family is the fashionable thing and wifey likes that style, any addition from the past will be more than a wellcome development. CONGRATS OP --- JUST GO AND PUMP CHAMPAGNE --- YOU ARE A LUCKY MAN 1 Like |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Nobody: 5:23pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
If u like, deny ur blood because of one woman. U will pay dearly for it. A woman can leave u but ur child will never leave u. A woman can be replaced but a child is irreplaceable no matter d circumstances. Always take care of number 1!!! 1 Like |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Godsbaby1(f): 5:27pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
For me i will gladily welcome the girl afterall in 10 to 15 yrs time she will marry and have her own home, ur wife has nothing to loose, go for ur child ....it happen near me the case was divorced with 3 boys, is ur wife a saint get ur child and give her the love she deserve 1 Like |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Rastamann: 5:28pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
It is better you let the sleeping dog lie o! At all, the lady in question (who was your past girlfriend) never told you about having any daughter for you, so why do you want to break both homes now? At least you get ya own kids from your wife, so omo fashy and pretend nothing happened, so that peace can regin in both families. |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by homesteady(m): 5:31pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
bigfree: @op. You do nothing!!! This is just the wicked and harsh truth! 1 Like |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Nobody: 5:37pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
Ollymurs:Sperm donor, really? Can you live with yourself knowing that the sperm you 'donated' is somewhere, enjoying or suffering? Ain't no child who doesn't need the father, old or young! Yoruba people will say: ki ori olori ma gba ise mi se! |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by grandstar(m): 5:39pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
remember what our heavenly father says about negligent parenthood. ( 1 timothy 5:. and it goes beyond the financial(deut 6:6-9) we are blessed when we listen to him. (luke 11:28) |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by digi101(m): 5:41pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
Am curious o; 2013 - 8 years = 2005 How bad was communication in 2005? |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by cikadile: 5:43pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
CoCoLav: Na wa for some people here ooo Absolutely He should do so, or try to at least If the child is refused him, he would have tried, at least It is ALL about this child here, not about the wife's possible ire Miss 9 year old has a right to a father So she already may have a "father" too yeah but poster, there is nothing wrong in her knowing you too, that you cared to find and claim her no matter the outcome. Trust me, her life would be fuller and happier knowing this fact of you... So go poster! |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by slap1(m): 5:44pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
Before you talk of DNA test, do you even have access to the baby? |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by chairman: 5:45pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
chymystique: U tell her exactly wah u ve written here for us to read... And tell her soonst.. If she rily loves u she will understand n nt cause probs.. (Tho she mit b unhappy abt et)..why will she be unhappy about it, it's not as if she met her husband as a virgin, she even may have flushed her own, so bros op tell her and if it suits all parties, claim your daughter |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by sweetgala(m): 5:52pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
Ollymurs: You sound like u've had ur mind made up in telling ur wife the situation, or is it that you still are confused and havent decided on what steps to take if any? You can't know what you need or don't until you make an effort to find out 1 Like |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Mystiqme: 6:11pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
yellowpawpaw: And lots of us wouldn't hv been in d mess thy find themselves had they ever used their brain instead of third leg to think.lol, but why attack the man? It's not like her raped her or something. They both agreed to sex without protection and they are both going to be responsible for the consequences 1 Like |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by maclatunji: 6:15pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
smurfy: The rational question is: how many other kids does he have out of wedlock? Since he is not in the position to know until when told. |
Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by maclatunji: 6:18pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
chairman: why will she be unhappy about it, it's not as if she met her husband as a virgin, she even may have flushed her own, so bros op tell her and if it suits all parties, claim your daughter The world got spoilt a long time ago. |
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