Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,170,882 members, 7,879,686 topics. Date: Thursday, 04 July 2024 at 03:20 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Guys And Money (1356 Views)
Guys And Ladies In Your Mid To Late 20s. / Why Can't A Lady Decide To Marry Within A Short Time (like Guys) And Do So? / I Thought Marriage And Money Would Bring Happiness (2) (3) (4)
Guys And Money by lareine(f): 8:06pm On Dec 29, 2013 |
Is it true that most guys don't like it when their women have more money than they do? This is my observation. I told my fiancé about my savings. Something cropped up which he had promised to help me with financially. Suddenly he declined. When I asked why he said I should use my savings. This is money I have saved for 2 years. He doesn't have any savings even though his salary is 6times mine. He made sure he helped me spend the money and was even asking for more just to be sure I had nothing left. I feel so bad, that he should be encouraging me to save. Besides. He wants to know when I'm paid salary and how much? How I spend money etc. I have decided not to let him know about my finances any more. Hope I'm doing the right thing? |
Re: Guys And Money by Nobody: 8:18pm On Dec 29, 2013 |
lareine: Is it true that most guys don't like it when their women have more money than they do? This is my observation. I told my fiancé about my savings. Something cropped up which he had promised to help me with financially. Suddenly he declined. When I asked why he said I should use my savings. This is money I have saved for 2 years. He doesn't have any savings even though his salary is 6times mine. He made sure he helped me spend the money and was even asking for more just to be sure I had nothing left. I feel so bad, that he should be encouraging me to save. Besides. He wants to know when I'm paid salary and how much? How I spend money etc. I have decided not to let him know about my finances any more. Hope I'm doing the right thing? Yes it is true that most guys would want to earn more than their wives. It only makes sense and I would not dwell on that much cos I am sure you know why. However, in your own case you need to be careful. I am worried your boyfriend earns that much and does not have any savings. More so that he even made you spend all you money. It may mean that he does not believe in having savings. It may not be an issue when dating but when you get married it may be an issue. A family has to learn how to save and if you ask me, a family should be able to save at least (minimum) 10% of their saving even after having kids. So your boyfriend has no excuse not to have savings, in fact its a lot easier to save when single. Tell you boyfriend I said he should start saving at least 20% of his salary. ok 1 Like |
Re: Guys And Money by bellong: 8:24pm On Dec 29, 2013 |
Are you sure this guy has long term plan for you? If what you painted here is as it happened, you really need to re-evaluate the relationship with him. 2 Likes |
Re: Guys And Money by bukatyne(f): 8:45pm On Dec 29, 2013 |
@OP: One of the qualities of a quality husband is one who help you to grow and such a quality is not developed overnight. You did not state what you needed money for however, I expected you to use part of your savings for it. Have you been asking him for money before he knew your savings or this is the first time? Does he have a plan for your future? has he proposed marriage to you or are you just stringing yourself along with him? Did you confirm he has no savings/investments or is it just the word of his mouth? Please answer and we will take it from there Stay calm |
Re: Guys And Money by lareine(f): 9:09pm On Dec 29, 2013 |
lareine: Is it true that most guys don't like it when their women have more money than they do? This is my observation. I told my fiancé about my savings. Something cropped up which he had promised to help me with financially. Suddenly he declined. When I asked why he said I should use my savings. This is money I have saved for 2 years. He doesn't have any savings even though his salary is 6times mine. He made sure he helped me spend the money and was even asking for more just to be sure I had nothing left. I feel so bad, that he should be encouraging me to save. Besides. He wants to know when I'm paid salary and how much? How I spend money etc. I have decided not to let him know about my finances any more. Hope I'm doing the right thing? Thanks. I have and will still tell him. |
Re: Guys And Money by lareine(f): 9:16pm On Dec 29, 2013 |
bukatyne: @OP: |
Re: Guys And Money by bukatyne(f): 9:43pm On Dec 29, 2013 |
lareine: [/quote] Ask him why did not give you the money as promised, it would help you understand his view regarding money As for the no saving part, when do you both plan to marry? Is there a house and other thingsin place? If the spending is the only issue, it is your duty to encourage him on how to spend/save. Everyone is a rough diamond and that might be his own area of weakness. When he offers to buy stuffs that are not necessary or can wait, lovingly remind him that you have a home to build and there is till timefor future spoiling. You can also research about investments he can go into depending on his income. Depending on the type of relationship you run, yoy can offer to shop for him (with the aim of getting quality things at cheaper rate). Find out the avenue he spends money and try to curtail it. This is also an opportunity for you to discuss how finances will be run in your home and the model you will adopt. Above all, ensure the issue is orted out before you wed. Goodluck |
Re: Guys And Money by lareine(f): 10:05pm On Dec 29, 2013 |
bukatyne: Thanks for the correction. His reason for not assisting me was that he had things to do. He listed them out. However, he ended up not doing just one out of a list of 4 things. I know for sure he didn't want to assist and he wanted me to use my savings. I have taken pains to ask him what business he would love to do. We've costed everything, but once he gets his salary, he always comes up with one story of lending his siblings money, which he promises to get back and then one story will come out. Either they paid back in bits he couldn't save or he ended up picking their wares for the money and most times at exhorbitant rates. I don't want to be involved in that one. Thanks so far for your advice. |
Re: Guys And Money by maryini(f): 10:11pm On Dec 29, 2013 |
Money problems are not peculiar to our menfolk only. Women generally would prefer their partners earn more than they do. Most of my female friends broke off their relationships when they found out they earn more than their partners. 2 Likes |
Re: Guys And Money by bukatyne(f): 10:16pm On Dec 29, 2013 |
You are welcome Is he the firstborn/son?Do they have a closely knit family? Did they pull resources together to train him? As for reason for not assisting you, takehis word for it and don't assume till proven otherwise Have you both started planning your home? lareine: |
Re: Guys And Money by Nobody: 11:11pm On Dec 29, 2013 |
This is the someone you want to marry? |
Re: Guys And Money by Nobody: 11:24pm On Dec 29, 2013 |
Evaluate this relationship critically ,i don't think this is someone you should marry. |
Re: Guys And Money by lareine(f): 11:38pm On Dec 29, 2013 |
bukatyne: You are welcome Yes, his family is a closely knit one. No they didn't pull resources to train him, his parents did. But yes, they've been there for him otherwise. Planning our home, yes! |
Re: Guys And Money by ireneidiva(f): 9:17am On Dec 30, 2013 |
We give up! |
Re: Guys And Money by richyblink1(m): 10:25am On Dec 30, 2013 |
It's rather awkward you telling the world that your husband to be does not have any penny saved in his name. |
Re: Guys And Money by Nobody: 10:39am On Dec 30, 2013 |
It depends on upbringing. If you were raised in the south east, you will feel awkward and emasculated, but if you were trained in a liberal enviroment, you would care less. I know a Nigerian couple in Los Angeles in which the wife earns $20,000 more than the husband annually. He is a school teacher at Orange while she is a nurse. The man doesn't feel emasculated at all, and even jokes that the reasom why she earns more is that she is my BETTER HALF. We laugh about it each time we remember it, so my sister, upbringing is a major factor in this case. Good day, and God bless. |
Re: Guys And Money by eagleeye2: 10:45am On Dec 30, 2013 |
lareine:If you don't mind me asking, how much is his salary...... I equally don't have savings. |
Re: Guys And Money by eagleeye2: 10:50am On Dec 30, 2013 |
richyblink1: It's rather awkward you telling the world that your husband to be does not have any penny saved in his name.I equally don't have savings, but I have some assets that earns money for me and a business to support my little earning...... does that make me a irresponsible man? |
Re: Guys And Money by ireneidiva(f): 10:51am On Dec 30, 2013 |
eagle,eye: yes! |
Re: Guys And Money by eagleeye2: 10:58am On Dec 30, 2013 |
ireneidiva:How does it make me irresponsible, if I am still able to fulfill my obligations? |
Re: Guys And Money by bukatyne(f): 3:17pm On Dec 30, 2013 |
lareine: How does he then intend to sustain your future home? Talk to him, airing your concerns to him and see how it goes. |
Re: Guys And Money by shizzle11(m): 3:18pm On Dec 30, 2013 |
op how much is your salary that your fiance is earning x six of it...lol And what is he doing with doing with his salary that he has to collect the salary you've been saving for the past two years Cos I can't believe he borrows money to his siblings every month he gets paid for him to claim not to have money such that he'll collect the little you have Why would a man deny his woman of the little savings she has when he earns times six. Why do I have this feeling that this your fiance will be a domineering, selfish and cunny person. All I can say is good luck you op. |
Re: Guys And Money by bluuu: 3:27pm On Dec 30, 2013 |
^^ exactly my tot.y would he make sure he finishes ur savings.looks lik he doesnt want u being financially independent so as not to feel u r a 'challenge' to him which implies domineering. evaluate ur relatiinship if he s bossy or not |
Re: Guys And Money by divinelove(m): 1:37pm On Dec 31, 2013 |
Op ur man is a financial illiterate, he needs to b educated abt hw money works. Since u ve some financial discipline, given ur saving culture, then teach him some.its shockin to kw he has no savin culture. Besides saving u guys shld also think abt investin too |
Re: Guys And Money by lareine(f): 1:40pm On Jan 01, 2014 |
bluuu: ^^ exactly my tot.y would he make sure he finishes ur savings.looks lik he doesnt want u being financially independent so as not to feel u r a 'challenge' to him which implies domineering. evaluate ur relatiinship if he s bossy or not. I think so too. But its sad. He's not bossy but I think he feels threatened that I had some money saved and he doesn't. |
Re: Guys And Money by lareine(f): 1:41pm On Jan 01, 2014 |
divinelove: Op ur man is a financial illiterate, he needs to b educated abt hw money works.Thx |
Re: Guys And Money by jeffizy(m): 2:32pm On Jan 01, 2014 |
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me" 1 Cor. 13:11 Financial recklessness may be due to his perceived lack of commitment for now. I was once like that as a bachelor. But when I really knew I was ready to settle down, it was like an auto-correct. Nobody taught me. |
(1) (Reply)
Loosing Your Wedding Ring, What Is The Big Deal? / Sex Education For Children: 8 Tips For Parents / What Would You Do To Your Mother In-law? (photo)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 51 |