Nonso23: Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems this whole marriage issue is like a game to you.
Do you really know this man?
Is he asking you for your hand in marriage because he feels he has come of age not because he loves you?
are you placing the material benefits of the marriage over the compatibility issues you are likely to encounter?
Do you love him?
Please ponder on these.
Sorry I digressed, the thread title is different from the path I towed with my questions.

Anyway to answer your major question. Online relationships work for some and doesn't for others . Only way to make it work is if you meet face to face to find out if truly you both can get along. After all same people online also have real lives. Best to find out who they are in real life than online.
I can't tell you what to do but it's best to weigh your options carefully. If na me... I will jejely move away.

Vessi: From what I'm analyzing.
It seems you've made up your mind already that you cant handle the guy.
Therefore I say unto you, do what your spirit says!

Spicy tha chiq: Hi guys,
i met this guy on facebook, i confirm all requests, but i dont reply msgs, only when i feel i need to, or triggered by something in the msg.
This guy stays in South Africa, and i notice he has been sndn msgs for long, but i ve alwys ignored his messages. So at a time i replied him, we started chattn...he asked for my number and i gave it to him. When he called he startd asking questions abt marriages and all, and i knew where he was driving at...and that scared me! He came out as a despicado, cause he is 11years older than i am...in his early thirties tho.
Am nt a fan, of guys searchn for wives desperately, cause most of them are alwys looking for the perfect girl, and when they find her they think they are in-love and manipulate them into getting married to them.
To brief the whole thing, i wont see this guy until July or Aug 2014 by His Grace, and he would go bak, cause he is working there.
And his kindof job, is really something i cant cope with...cause he goes away for weeks and comes home in(his hosue in SA) once in a while. He is an Engineer, who works on a ship...so he is alwys onboard, and while onboard you cant get through him. His plan is for us to date online, meet him by July, comes for my introduction dec and get married to me by 2015?
and there is something he does, he keeps remindn me ow many girls wil jump to this opportunity and how i will be making a big mistake if i dont date him, though in a literal way. He claims to be a christian thou...
My problem is, i hate distance! How can i cope nt seeing d person i am dating for mnths? Chai! Dats frustration, especially when you see happy couples around you always and 2ndly, how can i mrry som1 i can only judge based on his online image? I dnt want suprises! I dont know if he is a dirty guy, rude, flirts, judgemental, annoying, lazy etc...is it possible to know all these things without seeing him?
Now to those who met their spouses online, i need advice from you...did it work this way? I mean the distance and time before seeing eachother, are you satisfied you chose him or her? Is this advisable?
Note- i ve been in online and distance rships so many times and it has alwys failed! But this guy is making me feel like, his wil work and i dont wna double date. I know i cant remain single for life by His Grace, but he talks as if he is the Mr.Right, he even said i can alwys come to SA to visit him, but am schooln and my parents will never allow me to go on such a long distance to see somone i ve no idea who exactly he is....please i need your candid advice!
Thanks... And oh! sorry for the epistle.

Dyt: I stopped reading here
* he keeps remindn me ow many girls wil jump to this opportunity and how i will be making a big mistake if i dont date him, though in a literal way.*

This actually pissed me off
What's he feeling like
Tell the dude of abeg
Right away







Back to topic, nothin wrong having an online relationship
I can tell u, have it really good
Like the best I ever had

Danhumprey: When I came across the bolded,most especially the 2nd part in bold,I knew what was up. Fact is,real,sincere,true men don't brag about things like that. It's just childish and reeks of desperation.


As per your fears,I believe LDRs can work,but you've got to play your card well. Study the guy well before you take any life-long decision.

Spicy tha chiq:
lool..thanks alot! That part drives me nuts alot....i sense pride atimes.
And btw, he also metioned, trying to change somethings about me...i was
am guessing things like, not wearing makeups, not wearing trousers....lol i cant imagine livn with such.

Vessi: He wants you to marry him, not because he really loves you, but because he's been pressured on by his family members.
Plus the fact he's not getting any younger.
Love conquers everything.
Are you going into this marriage to make this man happy?
Are you going into this marriage because your exes have frustrated you? Sotey you think no better man dey lol?
Please, why does this man love you?
Please, why do you love him?
I'm asking these because so far, you you have said little or nothing about love and marriage is involved.
We all know love is the driving force and factor in a marriage, relationship.

Dyt:

*raises eyebrow*
Pls tell him to go ahes and pick any lady of his choice
Like seriously these men takes our assses for granted
Bleep him, his money, his looks, his pride
So bn married to someone automatically u go become home decoration
I tire for our men

Spicy tha chiq:
honestly, he feels like he is doin me a favour oo...this noon he was ttelln me about 19yrs, 20yrs getting married all because they dont wna end up being single at 28yrs when no man would be attracted to them...lol so in other words, he is saying if i dnt marry him, i wont get married early? Lol
and he even askd me to chng my profile pic( a decent pic o, just that its very attractive) on facebook, which i did obediently even the one on whatsapp, but then i started having this feeling that, getting married could mean, i'd b in bondage?

2legit2qwt: I think you know what to do already, all you need is the courage to do it.

Dyt:

See its normal for everyman to protect what he cherish so much
Bt mehn, dis ur own guy sounds like he's doin u a favour o
Seriously babes, weigh ur options mehn

Dyt:

See its normal for everyman to protect what he cherish so much
Bt mehn, dis ur own guy sounds like he's doin u a favour o
Seriously babes, weigh ur options mehn

Spicy tha chiq:
thanks huni, i'd do just that.

Nonso23:

Seriously I won't encourage you to jump the broom with this man oo. I have reservations.
If indeed he has your best interests at heart he should be ready to spend time with you personally. A month or two is not too much to ask.Just sometime to get to know each other for real.
You said he's the "my job my job" type. Nothing is more frustrating than being married to a man who only sees you as a boost to his status.
Attention will definitely be lacking as you will be alone most times judging from the nature of his work. And loneliness can cause us to do silly things.
He comes off as self centred. I mean did he even ask for your opinion before he started setting dates like 'we will meet august 2014 get married 2015'
Consider your interests first.