If you can follow the following tips,I assure you that you won't blame yourself. Don't say: (1)''mummy and daddy had sex last night'', this will disturb your child psycologically and he/she may not have a good day (2)''can't you behave normally like your younger ones'', it will make her feel embarrased and may create hatred for her younger ones (3)''i was too busy to come and see you'' this will tell him/her that there is something important than him/her (4) ''wait till your father/mother comes home before you can have what you need for yourself'' this means you are not capable of taking care of him/her. (5) ''you can never succeed in that'' it tells her that you don't believe in him/her .I have lots of info for you on family issues.you are welcome.