Pastor Chris Okotie is now married for the second time to Stephanie Henshaw. bBelow is the interview culled from Daily Sun.


Why did it take you so long to re-marry?
(Pauses) My life is a catalogue of divine situations that are predicated on the plans of Almighty God for Nigeria and for the Body of Christ in Nigeria; so I’m not like most people who do what they want whenever they want. I have to do what I am told to do when I’m told to do it because I am a man under authority and so it’s part of the divine equation.

When did you and Tina separate?
1998.

You’ve been romantically linked, by a couple of magazine, to various women and none eventually made it to the altar with you. What’s the attraction for Stephanie?
First and foremost, the tabloids do not determine what is going on in my life. What people perceive, you know, my public personae, many times create the wrong impression but marriage is a walk and not a work and the Bible says two cannot walk together, that is, take the same steps except there is agreement.

And for Stephanie and I, the first agreement is with God and the second is between the two of is. So I believe that she is the one the Lord has always set aside for me and it was just a matter of time for me to discover that reality.

How long have you courted?
Effectively, about seven years. I’ve known her for 19 years.

Really?
Yes, I’ve known her for 19 years, but we became close and began to walk closer from about 1999.

If you were to describe her in a short sentence, what would you say?
She is the embodiment of the epitome of beauty and spirituality.

If I should ask her attraction to you, what would she probably say?
She would tell you that Pastor Chris is a God-fearing man and is very kind and generous.

How did you propose to her?
Will you marry me? I would like to marry you.

Was it over a candle-lit dinner or on a highway?
Well, it’s not a one-time thing because I’ve been asking her to marry me for a long time and she wouldn’t accept my proposal until not too long ago. I thank God for that.

When she did not, what was her until reason?
She was not particularly certain whether it was what God wanted for her. She knew I cared a great deal about her but she didn’t want me to marry her just because I loved her. She wanted me to marry her only if the Lord accedes to it. So I had a situation where I had to get the Lord to persuade her that He is a part of this arrangement.

How did you do it? Did you bribe God? Can God be bribed? (General laughter).
I work for Him and as I said, my life is a catalogue of ordinations and He didn’t speak until He was ready to speak and you cannot coax God to say anything when He doesn’t want to say it or do anything when He doesn’t want to do it. I think at the right time, He made it abundantly clear to her. He had told me from the beginning but she wanted Him to speak to her directly and He did.

How old is she?
She’s 38.

And how old are you now?
Fifty.

Is she involved in pastoral work too?
Not at all! She’s my wife exclusively.

What’s her background, as per discipline?
Let me just talk about her generally so that it sums that up. You know that she is the daughter of the Henshaw family. Her grand mum, who was wife to one of the previous Obongs of Calabar, brought her up in the palace. And she attended her school there, then IMT, Enugu. That’s basically it. Right now, she’s attending the university of the conjugal relationship, trying to acquire the information that is necessary or that will augment or augur well for domestic stability and equilibrium and that is the tutelage that she has been sitting under for a while.

Has she been married before?
(Pause) Yes!

With kids?
Yes, she has three children.
You are like a shepherd who has decided to take from among your flock. What feeling does this decision give you? Is it a case of Okotie and Stephanie the beloved as in Jesus and John the beloved?
(Laughter) well, she’s been my friend as I said, for 19 years. When I met her, she was just a teenager and love is a positive force for good and I guess that a lot of times, people do not really appreciate what love is but let me tell you something about love. When Jesus was on the cross, a Roman soldier pierced his side and out came two elements: water and blood indicating to us that there are two dimensions to a man’s life.

There is the water dimension and there is the blood dimension. Water is transparent, something you can see through. Blood is not; it is thicker than water. In the life of a man, there are two dimensions. People who are close to him: his parents or even his friends, they know about his water dimension. There are things you can observe, but his blood dimensions are things that are revealed. A lot of people know about Jesus. They hear His name.

They know He is a healer. They know He was from Jerusalem, but the mystery of what makes Him, only the church knows. So, we in the church know both His blood dimensions and His water dimensions, but the world only knows His water dimensions.

Stephanie knows both my water and my blood dimensions because she is the closest person to me on earth today and through experience and time, I’ve been able to reveal things about myself to her. That is why it was difficult for her to say yes because she has come to appreciate my spiritual responsibility and as a friend; she doesn’t want me to make a mistake in the side of God, which further endears her to me so in that context, she’s the only person I can marry.

You are rated among the few debonair pastors in Nigeria. How did you cope with such a status without being trapped by any woman for so long?
I think that is wisdom. The word of God creates the well of understanding and wisdom for the believer and particularly, the teacher of the word of God and the grace of God is the divine ennoblement that keeps us and establishes the will of God for our lives. I can only tell you that God has been very merciful to me and has been very gracious to me. And because he had already set aside a particular woman for me, knowing my own particular reeds and my peculiar needs, she was able to get us to navigate the convulsions of the man-woman relationship, the labyrinths of his complexities to such a place where I was able to recognize the particular woman that God has put for me and come to love her dearly. So, bottomline has been the grace of God.

You’ve chosen a wife from the Efik stock. Were you trapped by the legendary Calabar dishes or what?
(Prolonged laughter) All men love because the Bible teaches us that men love food and there is no doubt about it that many will be influenced by the expertise in that department of any woman. But no, that’s not it. You know, when people talk in the world, people say they have a soulmate, trying to define a certain soulish connectivity, but Stephanie is not a soulmate to me. She is a wombmate. That is like the matrix because the word in the New Testament that is translated for brethren is a Greek word. That describes us as being born by the same womb. It is the closest affinity in the relationship that you can have in the physical between two people.

That is the way I see her. I feel that both of us were conceived in the womb of divine destiny and that it was just a matter of time before the arm of Almighty God by a coincidence of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit will bring us to a place where our parts will intersect and it did that many years ago and my life has never been the same.

What’s the best dish she prepares for you?
She does everything well. I like Nigerian food. I like Okro soup. I like egusi. I like Oha soup. I like edikang ikong. I like vegetable soup and she is the best cook that I know.

is he related To Kate Henshaw Nuttal