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Own Your Emotions Around Men-(secrets For Ladies). Men Dont Come In. by starmusic: 5:45pm On Aug 26, 2008 |
[b] So I have TWO good reasons why you need to learn how to own your emotions around men: 1) If your emotions "own you" early on, you probably won't even be able to talk to him or date in a fun and spontaneous way that men crave. You'll just be too FREAKED OUT to even get to the good stuff with him - and God forbid, help him see his way through all his potential hang-ups. (Not that you want to, lol) 2) Men aren't ATTRACTED to women who let their emotions control them all the time and drive their interactions. This is ESPECIALLY true when women act needy or overly sensitive to anything the guy does or says. Overly needy women will never figure out how to get to that fun, playful, risky, passionate state with a man that brings him close and spells "long-term girlfriend material" in his mind. We talked about the first reason already. Let's talk about the second one. Why don't men like women who are overly emotional? Because men NEVER feel ATTRACTION for women that they can CONTROL. The more control a man has over you, the less ATTRACTION he feels for you. The less of a CHALLENGE you are - and the more PREDICTABLE you become - the less ATTRACTION he feels. It's very simple. To put it another way; if you're the type of woman who lets her emotions TAKE OVER, then you need to learn how to "own" them. If you don't, you're going to have a VERY hard time succeeding with men after a date or two. THE FIRST STEP, I think that the first step in learning how to own your STRONG emotions is to realize how they're created or "triggered." Most strong emotions are TRIGGERED. Something happens that "pushes a button" inside of you and BAM!, the emotion happens before you even have a chance to think about it. But the fact is that these "triggers" have a structure to them. There are all kinds of little things that happen during that "trigger." One of the biggest insights that I've had about these "triggers" is that they're usually caused by making something that happens MEAN something negative. In other words, it's not the actual situation itself that "pulls the trigger" or "pushes the button", it's what you think it MEANS. For instance, let's say that you've met a great guy, went on a few amazing dates, and then he wasn't as quick to call you and make plans as he was at the very start. You wait a day or two, and he doesn't even call. What do you usually think? "Maybe he doesn't like me. Maybe he has a another woman. Maybe he's trying to avoid me. Maybe he's withdrawing like those other guys did in the past." In other words, we make the fact that he didn't call back MEAN all these different things. Another HUGE insight I've had in this area is that women allow their imaginations to take over and imagine the WORST possible outcomes. Then they get nervous about that outcome happening and FREAK OUT. The point is that most of us (men and women) use our minds to imagine the WORST possible outcomes for dating and relationship situations, and it pushes all the wrong buttons, and gets us all nervous and upset, which, of course, makes us screw everything up. When it comes to men, it's important that you lose the need to make everything MEAN something, and STOP imagining the worst. Think about those situations when a man doesn't call you back, or plays hard to get. Yeah, thinking that someone is playing games sucks, but the belief that there's a "game" going on is exactly the kind of negative meaning I'm talking about. If you immediately start to wonder where he is, what he's doing, and who he's with, you create the game in your mind. Then you make up pictures in your mind of him out with other women, doing fun things without you, etc., and it's really upsetting. Bad idea. This is the kind of thing that makes us do all KINDS of stupid things that scare the other person away, like calling 100 times a day, asking where he was and what he was doing, etc. For more about women,their relations,sex,wears,life stlys etc, visit a get free informations at www.womenview-womenview..com.[/b] |
Re: Own Your Emotions Around Men-(secrets For Ladies). Men Dont Come In. by bstmaketa: 9:11pm On Aug 26, 2008 |
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