i have been with ths guy for 3 years and we have two kids together,the problem is i don't trust him at all,has no respect 4 me,check every move i make,he accuse me 4 something i ddnt do,call me names.the thing is i put so much money,time,energy for this relationship.we both want the best 4 our children,we have our business two month from now it will worth million of dollars,we plan to get married next year and i don't want to marry him but if i don't i will lose everythig because the business we own is under his name.

please what can i do? am tiring of fighting with him, i love him so much but the fight is killing me

Where do you live?

ok, this one pass me

mesmya n sistawoman
where u at

tope2000:

ok, this one pass me

mesmya n sistawoman
where u at

I need to know where she lives? is it in the states, uk or nigeria

canada

advice pls

@ post
Honestly i do not no what to say.

The first step is to contact a lawyer prior to your marriage to find out how long you have to stay married until you get half.

Here in Maryland, US all it takes is 6 years.  After 6 years i get half of everything.

Then you hanker down, be pleasent and bide your time.  You do your time like you were sent to jail.  Dont cheat, dont fight just give in and try to make it as smooth as possible.

Put aside your money for your lawyer and when it is time (6 years one day) you file for divorce and take half of what you helped build, your children, your childsupport and go on about your business.

You have to be smart about this you have children and they must be the top priorty.  If you walk out now you stand to loose it all.  Dont let him chase you and your children away from your millions.

I tell you the time will fly by, maybe you will want to stay who knows.

thanx
i still love him there is no doubt about that at
the fight and the insult is our only problem
i dont know what to do

If you aren't careful,the fights and insults
will spoil what u both share.Do wha u must to stop it
so u can enjoy ur stay wit him as its obvious u stil love him.

just try and talk to him and be patient, at least for ur kids sake

chamotex:

just try and talk to him and be patient, at least for your kids sake

And also for the money's

Why is it that he does not trust you? Have you lied to him in the past? Have you done somethings that you should not have done? Have you disappered on him?

Is he cheating? Most cheats think thier spouse or S/O is doing the same to them.

You all might want to sit down and have a very serious heart to heart conversation about your relationship and where its really going. Do not marry out of pity. Get married because you want to get married. And i probably would also recommend pre-marriage counseling. Because you never want to go into marriage with the attitude of "I want a divorce after 6 years." Its better that you two hash out your problems as much as possible before that step.

jemima2007:

i have been with ths guy for 3 years and we have two kids together,the problem is i don't trust him at all,

May I ask why you dont trust him in the first place?

thank you guys so much for ur time

he cheated before but i forgive him
he told me he will never cheat again, which i dont believe him because a cheater is alway a cheater
his telling me that it just a matter of time before i will go out n cheat too.
watch a every move i make,go to shoopin with me,i mean everywhere i go he will go with me because he believe that i will cheat on him too.
no understand,no space nothing at all

thank you all

This is way beyond what i can contribute to,but i think you shud just call him and talk to him, give him sometime,backing out of the relationship will not do you two good cos of the kids
best of luck

thanx

i think i need more than luck.

I quite understand the guy. He is afraid of his own shadow. He need sympathy and nothing more.

Beyond that, I believe he has reasons for thinking you would cheat too. He must have seen something the rest of us had not seen.

If you are clean, why not turn him into your bodyguard? Let him follow you everywhere and it won't be long before he become an object of ridicule.

jemima2007:

i have been with ths guy for 3 years and we have two kids together,the problem is i don't trust him at all,has no respect 4 me,check every move i make,he accuse me 4 something i ddnt do,call me names.the thing is i put so much money,time,energy for this relationship.we both want the best 4 our children,we have our business two month from now it will worth million of dollars,we plan to get married next year and i don't want to marry him but if i don't i will lose everythig because the business we own is under his name.

please what can i do? am tiring of fighting with him, i love him so much but the fight is killing me

3 years wt 2 kids?living as husband and wife?watever for?

how can u be so foolish as to allow d man use his name alone for the business?

marry him?infact u should even pray he ends up marrying u ,because either way you're going to loose so many things

infact wt d way im seeing it,i think its just your kids that is making him stay in that relationship

but i ask u one more time,y were u so foolish as to open your legs and produce 2 kids outside marriage?live wt him like husband and wife,even if u did not wed in a church what happened to the court?sorry to say this,but its obvious d man is tired of u

sistawoman:

The first step is to contact a lawyer prior to your marriage to find out how long you have to stay married until you get half.

Here in Maryland, US all it takes is 6 years.  After 6 years i get half of everything.

Then you hanker down, be pleasent and bide your time.  You do your time like you were sent to jail.  Dont cheat, don't fight just give in and try to make it as smooth as possible.

Put aside your money for your lawyer and when it is time (6 years one day) you file for divorce and take half of what you helped build, your children, your childsupport and go on about your business.

You have to be smart about this you have children and they must be the top priorty.  If you walk out now you stand to loose it all.  Dont let him chase you and your children away from your millions.

I tell you the time will fly by, maybe you will want to stay who knows.  

all of u oyibo's una too like court case

olanajim:

I quite understand the guy. He is afraid of his own shadow. He need sympathy and nothing more.

Beyond that, I believe he has reasons for thinking you would cheat too. He must have seen something the rest of us had not seen.

If you are clean, why not turn him into your bodyguard? Let him follow you everywhere and it won't be long before he become an object of ridicule.

very funny and but well said!!!

@poster,
RUN, Any man who abuses a woman ( verbally, physically, pyschologically or else) is NOT worth your time. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to value yourself more. The truth is they will NEVER change. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you deserve to be someone's garbage bin? To make matters worse you have children. Your kids dont deserve to grow up around this animal. Kids practise what they see. Your daughter would most likely end up with an abusive man too, and you son would follow the goat's footstep and become an abuser as well.

You have to know what you want for yourself and you children. All the best!

CodeRED:

@poster,
RUN, Any man who abuses a woman ( verbally, physically, pyschologically or else) is NOT worth your time.  I know it's easier said than done, but you have to value yourself more. The truth is THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE.  Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you deserve to be someone's garbage bin? To make matters worse you have children. Your kids don't deserve to grow up around this animal. KIDS PRACTISE WHAT THEY SEE.  Your daughter would most likely end up with an abusive man too, and you son would follow the goat's footstep and become an abuser as well.

You have to know what you want for yourself and you children. All the best!

Lmao
As funny as it is,I agree wit the  statment written bodly above.

marry him. . . . .then divorce him and get half.
ha, joking!


Mistake women make, leaving everything under their b/f or husband's name.
Mistake my aunt made, most of her houses she built in Ekiti/lagos is under her husband's name. shame!

Let this be a lesson to every women out there, make sure if you share sth wiv your husband or partner, your name berra be included in it. cuz if the guy leaves you, he leaves with all

Sistawoman (used to love you until now), I follow your posts but on this one, I think you cldn't have given the OP a worse advice. Under no circunstance shld you get married cos of monetary considerations. My solemn advice is that you make him aware of the things he does that you hate and prolly see a shrink together. Over time, you'll both learn to be more accommodating cos from your post, I think you guys are a very young couple.

I think you guys started having kids b4 you were both emotionally capable, what would your children think of you when they grow up a hear you married their dad cos of a business just so you could divorce him and take half.

Sistawoman gave you a sinister idea that you should completely ignore, since you claim to love this dude, help him put his act together and never marry him without finding closure to the issues you have.

Sistawoman (used to love you until now), I follow your posts but on this one, I think you cldn't have given the OP a worse advice. Under no circunstance shld you get married cos of monetary considerations. My solemn advice is that you make him aware of the things he does that you hate and prolly see a shrink together. Over time, you'll both learn to be more accommodating cos from your post, I think you guys are a very young couple.

I think you guys started having kids b4 you were both emotionally capable, what would your children think of you when they grow up a hear you married their dad cos of a business just so you could divorce him and take half.

Sistawoman gave you a sinister idea that you should completely ignore, since you claim to love this dude, help him put his act together and never marry him without finding closure to the issues you have.

I'm a guy i already know what he is up to,He's not ready for a relationship with you ,That is slaving he's trying to slave i believe a relationship should be 50/50 equal ,You don't have to keep silent and watch ,You have to deceive him too,Babe forget about the love just try and figure things out to claim your properties back ,he is a gold digger ,If you continue that way you will never enjoy your relationship.

Well, women must stop turning their properties, and business to their husband. The best any wise woman should do is to do it in both names. Or better still, in the name of the kids.

Even though I am a man, I believes, it is wrong for lady to hand off everything she owe just like that. Just for love. Without trusting the husband. I think it is a great mistake. A cheat of a husband for that matter.

Please do what I asked you to do. Let him follow you about. Let him ridicule himself. People will do justice on your behalf when they start seeing how foolish he is.

@ Poster

Now this is what happens to a woman with no self esteem:

You couldn't wait to marry first, instead you let him into your apartment
You try to screw his brains out, just to satisfy him
You produce kids for him that he cannot take care of
You pay most of the bills and feed him
You involved him in a multimillion business and put it in his name?? Agie wept!!

So what do you expect? The guy is taking advantage of you, he ain't got any respect for you any more and he's getting tired of you, He wants you to sue him so that he will get most of the properties. Jeez when will some people learn?

Am sorry i had to be direct on this matter, but it hurts me to see people make the same mistake again and again!

You have given the guy the impression that you can't live without him, he will continue to cheat and cheat till you get tired, my solution is that you get you pride back, Get a good lawyer to share your properties fairly, get the kids,kick his ass out or move out, you are better of without him, if he still got some brains in his head, he will come back to his senses, knowing that he has more to loose, that is when he will be willing to discuss things reasonably with you. But be careful because a leopard cant change his spots, the most important thing is that you move out. Chikena!

Be wise, Dont leave him without the dough (half of what you guyz own),

Hello my fellow woman, i wish u can just 4get all this investment and first have ur life save. cant u just imagine that u have not yet wedded and you are passing through all this traumas, then think when it is do or die (marriage). tomorrow will be better my dear, that kind man can even use u for sacrifice, if u continues.
thanks