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Topup, The Agony Aunt. - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by Nobody: 2:41am On Sep 05, 2008
agaba, table it quick quick. I myself have a honest problem for agony aunt . . .
Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by Nobody: 3:37am On Sep 05, 2008
Topup, got a problem.
Right now am like in a middle of some conflict angry
My best friend broke up with her bf, then her friend got intimate with her ex (Her friend was even after her bf b4 she broke up with him) . Not once o, not twice o.
Am trying to persuade this idiot that the girl should not be considered her friend.
But she's so soft and too nice and too jolly.

This whole thing is complicated.
I did not want to be in this $$!@, but I got stuck in it.
She's hurt yea yea. Past few days, I've been visiting her to console her, but how can I convince her that her friend is a trailer trash, and that she needs to quit their friendship angry angry angry
Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by Queenisha: 3:40am On Sep 05, 2008
why do people bother themselves over nothing?
so what if my friend is sleeping with my ex.
there's a reason he's an ex
right?
Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by bigboyslim(m): 3:44am On Sep 05, 2008
Queenisha:

why do people bother themselves over nothing?
so what if my friend is sleeping with my ex.
there's a reason he's an ex
right?

Not that easy to say if it was the ex that broke up with you and not the other way round
Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by Nobody: 3:45am On Sep 05, 2008
Queenisha:

why do people bother themselves over nothing?
so what if my friend is sleeping with my ex.
there's a reason he's an ex
right?
The thing is my best friend trusted her friend.
The girl has been telling my friend lies about him, that he's not good enough for her, all sorts of B.S.
Only to go and sleep with him, not after they finalize their r/ship o, but when they were still having problems.
That raggedy boy is a manwhore, but with my best friend's friend?
You know what he told her? : "I got the BJ I wanted, that's all I wanted from your friend". shocked shocked
Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by Queenisha: 3:55am On Sep 05, 2008
Ruby_Pearl:

The thing is my best friend trusted her friend.
The girl has been telling my friend lies about him, that he's not good enough for her, all sorts of B.S.
Only to go and sleep with him, not after they finalize their r/ship o, but when they were still having problems.
That raggedy boy is a manwhore, but with my best friend's friend?
You know what he told her? : "I got the BJ I wanted, that's all I wanted from your friend". shocked shocked

eh let him get some blom blom to go with that too
nonsense
why would someone be having such intimate talks with an ex?
Maybe I'm naive since I didn't do so much dating but the few I had when it was over,they moved on and I did
I would even gladly return their photographs and items that I posessed  and didn't hang around to hear stories of his life after.
I guess times have changed.
Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by Nobody: 4:17am On Sep 05, 2008
Times have changed. So do people do
Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by zheroes(m): 12:47pm On Sep 05, 2008
where have i been? thumbs up sis
Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by topup: 2:10pm On Sep 05, 2008
Ruby_Pearl

All I can say is that girls don't tend to listen to advice from girlfriends, they really don't. If you sound like you are giving her orders she won't listen.

My advice is to just advise her and let it be, and you need to get out of this ASAP, because if anything goes wrong, your involvement will somehow be used against you. It always happens, when friends should be getting stronger and closer, often girls see the other friend as a cause.

It is probably obvious to everybody on this forum that the girl should avoid the so called friend, but that is assuming that the girl somehow wanted the demise of her friend's relationship to begin with. If the two girls are close in such a way that dating the other's ex is not a taboo, then maybe the friendship can work (for the time being). It seems that the other girl does not really care about her friend, and would rather chase the boy.

Like I said, let them be, give your friend a scenario in which you can phrase the situation in such a way she views her situation as an observer so that she can take a step back and view the situation clearly - without getting her emotions involved. Let your friend know that she doesn't have to be best friends with someone in order to be amicable with them. Let her know that it would be best to take a step back and focus more on herself than the friendship with the other girl, it's not being mean it's being realistic. A friendship like that will be hard to maintain if the 'friend' is dating her ex.
Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by topup: 2:11pm On Sep 05, 2008
bigboyslim:

Not that easy to say if it was the ex that broke up with you and not the other way round

Yup, that changes everything.
Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by beeola(m): 2:40pm On Sep 05, 2008
Agony aunt,nid ur hlp again but this seems private
mail mi on meetdeejay@yahoo.com,pls
Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by Nobody: 10:56pm On Sep 05, 2008
topup:

Ruby_Pearl

All I can say is that girls don't tend to listen to advice from girlfriends, they really don't. If you sound like you are giving her orders she won't listen.

My advice is to just advise her and let it be, and you need to get out of this ASAP, because if anything goes wrong, your involvement will somehow be used against you. It always happens, when friends should be getting stronger and closer, often girls see the other friend as a cause.

It is probably obvious to everybody on this forum that the girl should avoid the so called friend, but that is assuming that the girl somehow wanted the demise of her friend's relationship to begin with. If the two girls are close in such a way that dating the other's ex is not a taboo, then maybe the friendship can work (for the time being). It seems that the other girl does not really care about her friend, and would rather chase the boy.

Like I said, let them be, give your friend a scenario in which you can phrase the situation in such a way she views her situation as an observer so that she can take a step back and view the situation clearly - without getting her emotions involved. Let your friend know that she doesn't have to be best friends with someone in order to be amicable with them. Let her know that it would be best to take a step back and focus more on herself than the friendship with the other girl, it's not being mean it's being realistic. A friendship like that will be hard to maintain if the 'friend' is dating her ex.
O se n.
I know I need to stay out of it.
But as hard as I try to, I can't help it.
She's like my baby, my lil sister, like I'm responsible for her welfare. I've known her for a long time and we're too close for me to just stand there and let her get hurt.
Today, she went out with her friend, and it seems to me and her that the only reason her(my friend) ex is using her friend is to get back at her.
I'm not sure if I should let her keep getting hurt, but I think the only thing I can do is try to confront her so-called friend to stop the B.S.
Like c'mon now!
Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by HRhotness(f): 11:03pm On Sep 05, 2008
Ruby_Pearl:

O se n.
I know I need to stay out of it.
But as hard as I try to, I can't help it.
She's like my baby, my little sister, like I'm responsible for her welfare. I've known her for a long time and we're too close for me to just stand there and let her get hurt.
Today, she went out with her friend, and it seems to me and her that the only reason her(my friend) ex is using her friend is to get back at her.
I'm not sure if I should let her keep getting hurt, but I think the only thing I can do is try to confront her so-called friend to stop the B.S.
Like c'mon now!

I was in a similar situation not too long ago, didnt end well for me. . . now i just do as topup says, giv my honest opinion and butt out!

the way i see it, some pple enjoy being miserable and caught in these kinds of drama maybe subconsiously

people tend to see things the way they want to and u cant force them to see things differently.

I wld be supportive, but ultimately she has to make d decison for herself
Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by Nobody: 11:20pm On Sep 05, 2008
HR.Hotness,
Thank you.
I guess I'd have to butt out of it, as hard as it is for me.
Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by topup: 11:50pm On Sep 05, 2008
Yup, it's her battle to fight ultimately, just be there for her as a shoulder to cry on, or to listen to her.
Re: Topup, The Agony Aunt. by chessguru(m): 10:38pm On Sep 21, 2008
@post
i never knew Top up is a she until now, Okay now i know!!

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