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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! (1960 Views)
Let's Write A Book! / Mistakes We Make, Grudges We Keep (this Story Will Make You Teary-eyed) / Join In And Add Your Own Bit To This Story! (2) (3) (4)
Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by jummiee(f): 8:49pm On Sep 11, 2008 |
Hi Y’all Just add your bit to this story and lets see how it ends. Your write up shouldn’t be too short (No one line sentences please) and shouldn’t be too long ( 2 – 4 paragraphs would be fine). Please let your contribution have substance, either expand on the existing characters in the story or introduce new characters or ideas blah blah, you get the gist. Enjoy! |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by rite2salas(m): 8:35am On Sep 12, 2008 |
she said replied, " I don't have any problems". Oh ok he said ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by jummiee(f): 12:44pm On Sep 12, 2008 |
Kindly stay off this thread, if u dont have anytin 2 post! Or betr stil start ur own thread! |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by jummiee(f): 1:12pm On Sep 12, 2008 |
Continued, His irritation turned to amusement as he watched her struggle to stay dry under her tiny umbrella. The wind constantly blew up her umbrella and spray of rain splattered her chiffon dress, plastering it to her skin. "perhaps u would reconsider sharing my umbrella" he said smugly, glancing from her pathetic umbrella to his enormous one. Just then, jess pulled up in her black mercedes. |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by capsmo(m): 2:29pm On Sep 12, 2008 |
@ Jummiee, Chris was surprised that his charm was not working wonders for him this time. In Igando where he lived ladies were head over heels in love with him. He had charisma. He was rich. And these never failed him. Not in recent times. The cumulus clouds gave way to the nimbus. The rain rained like it never did before. Tina's umbrella could barely cover her. It was probably designed to cover the users' head only. She bit her lips and cursed under her breath, "rain or no rain, you can't get me". She had sworn that she will never say "a hello" to any man till she is out of school. And the wait continued. Seconds turned to minutes. The wait continued. |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by capsmo(m): 2:35pm On Sep 12, 2008 |
@jummiee, i think it is better to let him be. my post was to a follow up to ur first post. where r writers in d house? |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by Rosebud1(f): 4:41pm On Sep 12, 2008 |
The silence lengthened. The tension hung in the air like thick ice as neither of them spoke; both of them wondering what was going on in the other's mind. He broke the silence suddenly, as he took the chance and said, "Why don't you join me under my umbrella while I walk you down to that restaurant over there?" he pointed at the small but conspicuous restaurant around the corner. "That way, you won't have to stand here, getting soaked while i pretend not to be bothered about it." She hesitated. His offer sounded inviting and polite. What the hell! She thought. Jess was still no where in sight and she had no plans of ending up with pneumonia."Sounds okay to me." |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by rite2salas(m): 12:48am On Sep 17, 2008 |
hi ![]() |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by bluespice(f): 1:19am On Sep 17, 2008 |
emm sorry but i have to point oomethings, from tina, her name is Jane!!!! to waiting in the rain Jess' car has already arrived!!! black mercedes ![]() ok ill join later jummie big ups ![]() |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by GORRET(f): 4:54pm On Sep 17, 2008 |
"I am really sorry to have kept you waiting this long,i had an impromptu meeting with a client she smiled apologetically". what can i say Jess has always been this way you could forgive her for almost anything. "thats alright,lets get out of here iam drenched!" "what? aint you going to introduce me to your friend?" she asked looking the guy over. Not waiting for me to reply she said, "hi handsome 'am Jess,thanks for keeping my sister company". "Hi jess it's my pleasure i am Brian,and you sure have a looker for a sister". "Brian perhaps we could give you a lift to some place?"jess asked ignoring Jane's angry looks. "Sure" he said hopping in at the same time,he wouldn't miss the opportunity of getting to know them better for anything! |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by lammy2(f): 10:05pm On Sep 18, 2008 |
“What a georgeous hunk” jess thought as she watched brian slide into the back seat. “ So Brian what do you do? Are you a banker? because you ‘re dressed as one” Jess asked as she drove out of the parking lot. Brian hesistated momentarily before answering “ I’m actually a business owner, he said, his eyes hooded as he flicked imaginary lint off his crisp suit. “ Where are you ladies headed?” Jess glanced at Brian from the rearview mirror and wondered at his quick change of subject. He’s hiding something, she thought. “So how did your meeting with your client go?” Jane interrupted before Jess could reply Brian. “I have been waiting at that mall for almost an hour, and i hope your meeting turned out successful, to make up for my long wait in that rain". Jess grinned from ear to ear “ i got the contract dear, i would gist you later she said exicitedly, “how about picking up some chinese food to celebrate? And Brian you are welcome to come along unless of course , you have to get home to your familly”. Jess winked at him. “I would love to come, besides i’m not married, he replied with a smile in his voice, but his eyes were on Jane. |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by rite2salas(m): 4:47am On Sep 19, 2008 |
. |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by favcom(m): 1:28pm On Sep 19, 2008 |
c,mon rite ![]() This story is only just beginning. Let's have a good one please |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by jummiee(f): 9:42pm On Sep 19, 2008 |
@ capsmo, Rosebud1, bluespice, GORRET, lammy2 Thanks guys for the contribuition. keep it coming pls. Continued-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jane groaned inwardly. Just like her fun loving and over friendly sister to invite a stranger to spend time with them, she’d rather snuggle up in bed and watch a movie than hang out with brian, besides she was sick of his cocky, smug and condescending attitude, Brian reminded her so much of her ex. She felt a stab of pain pierce through her, as she remembered her ex and his lies, his unfaithfulness and the emotional torment he had put her through. She definitely didn’t want to get close to brian. “Err Jess, i think we can do the chinese thingy some other day, i’m soaked, i need a change of clothes, and a hot bath before i catch pneumonia” Jane said and shivered for effect. “Oh my Gosh! I’m so sorry Jane, that was very inconsiderate of me, maybe we can hang out some other day brian,? i think it’s better Jane goes home ASAP” Jess glanced at brian from the mirror a quiet plea in her eyes. Brain nodded, trying to project an enthusiasm he didnt feel. “Sure, anytime, just give me a call” he handed Jess his business card. “ Please take the next turn right, i’d like to drop by a friend’ house” . Two minutes later, he alighted from the car, he waved as jess zoomed off, waited a few minutes, and made a phone call. “Tom, please tell the driver to come pick me up at 22nd Street at the Marina. Thanks” |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by arramyjay: 12:52am On Sep 20, 2008 |
With a devilish smile he thought to himself how interesting the chase will be,the sound of the car brought his him back to reality,Goodevening sir the driver said,Evening and he entered and made himself comfortable,with the thought of jane on his mind it was a jolly ride home.Jane,said jess could you have being more unfriendly he was just trying to be nice,oh please jess you know guys like that dont Tickle my fantasy anymore I am so over men like brian,Oh no u are not i saw the way your eyes rolled over him.Oh please jess whatever, |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by Nobody: 1:51am On Sep 20, 2008 |
Where art thou, Sisikill? @post Jane knew damn well that she was just denying the accusation. How could she get over men when a few of them like Brian still grace the earth. "Oh please Jane whatever what? I'm serious. Brian is just like the rest of them". No he is not, it'll be a crime not to worship that chocolate god, a great devastation to ignore the marathon of his muscles as they run down his back, and his long long legs. But that's not where the marathon stopped, only if his suit could be removed to reveal a heart racing six pack. "Jane, Jane, are you still there?" "Oh yes, was just thinking about something" "Something or someone" Jess let out with a soft Chuckle. "Something! You know, my Saturday plan" "Maybe. . . ." It was quite impossible to listen to Jess and daydream about Brain at the same time. So the only thing Jane could do was to zone Jess out. On the other side of Gawd knows where, thoughts were parading through Brian's mind. He's a playa, and a play must play his game right to get the girl he wants. And certainly, Jane was his target. She certainly would do, if he has to, he'll turn her into a freak in the bed. What say Jane, a lady in the street and a freak in the bed. Nothing could be so delicious as those two combinations. Now, it's time to get the plan in action. "But, how do I go about it?" |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by jummiee(f): 1:28pm On Sep 20, 2008 |
Brian smiled to himself as a plan began to form in his mind. He picked up his mobile and dialed. "Hello Tom, i have a PRIORITY ONE! I want you to run a background check on a Jane Taylor, she works in d Palms Mall at 4th street at the Marina. I want to know EVERYTHING about her from her shoe size to her favourite food. Leave nothing out! I would expect your report in a week's time. Good" He hung up, He remoued his jacket revealing a 9mm barreta pistol in his shoulder holster. Placing the gun under his pillow, he stripped down, changed to his black work out shorts and made his way up to his private gym. The gym was on the 2nd floor of the sprawling mansion. It was an enormous space, furnished largely with exercise machines. His arms quivered, his neck bulged as he began to pump iron. He did seven presses and when he dropped the barbell, he felt adrenaline pumping through him. His body glistened with sweat, but he continued his exercise, knowing that being fit kept him alive, because his job was a physically demanding and dangerous one. |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by rite2salas(m): 11:36pm On Sep 21, 2008 |
[size=75pt]THE END[/size] Thanks to everyone for posting |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by jummiee(f): 12:34pm On Sep 22, 2008 |
@rite2salas, dearie i think i understand you, you're lookin for attention. Pity you're not getting any. Moving the story to another forum, thanks to everyone who contribuited. |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by luvli(f): 12:37pm On Sep 22, 2008 |
sure reminds me of my days in the uni. am really enjoyin this thread ![]() |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by Banderas(m): 1:00pm On Oct 10, 2008 |
Waaait, too much happening so suddenly! How did he know her surname? How did he know where she worked?? moving on: Itse put down his book and stared into space. He'D been fantasizing about that rather nice looking girl who appeared to be struggling against the windswept rain with a rather tiny umbrella, fighting a losing battle. Especially since a perfectly suitable umbrella appeared to have been offered to her first by that rather tall bloke. Of course he couldn't be too sure, he was sitted in one of the less reputable pubs that sprawled opposite the bar beach, interspersed between the more elegant hotels and classy bars when he noticed the exchange, but from the expression of disdain the lady had shown, and the accompanying look of surprise and amusement, he was pretty sure that while the guy had probably only offered umbrella space, his intentions were somewhat less honourable. Itse chuckled to himself, as he lifted his glass to his lips for another sip. Star, tropical nectar, he thought to himself as he savoured the rest of the golden, bubbly liquid left in his glass. He was tempted to have another bottle, but he had work to do, besides being friday, there probably was more serious drinking to be done later in the day. He got up, stopping at the counter to pay the bill and left. Outside, while the rain had reduced somewhat, it was still heavy enough that he jogged briskly to his car in order to avoid getting totally drenched. He barely started the engine when his phone rang. "Hello" he said loudly, somewhat irritated at the timing. "Hey Itse, how's it going man" an american voice drawled down the line. "Heeey, hello Tom, how are you doing?" Itse replied. Thomas Bobade was an old friend from back in his pre secondary school days. "I'm great man, great. Hey, do you remember Brian Runsewe?" "Brian Runsewe? Tall Brian Runsewe? Brian Runsewe off the flats?" Itse replied laughing. The flats were a set of apartment buildings in VI, otherwise known as 1004 where Brian had lived when they were younger. They called him brian of the flats mainly due to the rather lengthy flights of stairs that they had to ascend whenever they went to visit him. Also because of the fact that back then he lived in a flat with his family, while the rest of them resided in proper houses. "Of course I remember Brian" Itse wheezed through bouts of heavy laughter. Brian had been one of those smart, witty kids back in the day, always playing a trick, or cracking a joke "Well Brian is in town" was the reply from the other end of the line "I'm meeting him up later tonight, so I was wondering if you wanted to tag along" "Sure thing man, I'll be glad to come." Itse responded. He definitely would like to see Brian again, they had lost touch when Brian moved abroad with his family back when they were kids. "Cool mate, we'll be at the palms. I'm not sure exactly where, give me a call when you get there and we'll hook up" said Tom, as he hung up. Itse winced slightly. He didn't like the palms - much too commercial and crowded for his liking. Just this once he thought, besides, they probably would leave the place after a while. It was just interesting how Tom had this amazing knack of digging out long forgotten people. Itse's engine was still running. He engaged the gears and drove off, narrowly avoiding a rather dangerous looking pothole as he did. Back to business now, and then pleasure later he thought to himself as he began to negotiate the traffic of Victoria Island. |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by lammy2(f): 4:02pm On Oct 11, 2008 |
@ banderas’s post Nice one, the plot thickens Moving on with the story: Tom dropped the phone. “This is going to be an interesting reunion” he mused as he made reservations for three at Brian’s favorite Italian restaurant at the Palms. Memories flooded his mind and he smiled pleasantly as he reminisced. He, Brian and Itse were such close buddies in high school that they had been nicknamed “the three musketeers”. Their teenage years had been fun; they played pranks, shared good times as well as sad moments together. Their friendship was envied by all, they hardly quarreled except for one time when Brian and Itse fell out over a girl, shortly before Brian traveled abroad with his family in his fourth year in high school. "Itse and Brian, the two greatest Casanovas of the 21st century! It wasn’t difficult for those two to get any girl they wanted” Tom sighed wistfully and wished he had the charisma, charm and looks of his two friends. In high school, girls often threw themselves either at Brian or Itse but never at Tom. Tom sometimes felt jealous that he had average looks whilst his friends looked like potential GQ cover models, but he consoled himself that of the trio, he was the most intelligent. He was always the top of the class, throughout his school years. His exceptional intelligence had helped him to establish the leading private investigation agency in the country, which was currently ranked the 2nd best on the continent and the 10th globally. Now that Itse and Brian were going to renew acquaintances, would they still revert to their womanizing philandering ways? Tom’s mind wandered to Brian’s request for a background check on a Jane, he wondered what Brian had in mind for her. “Anyway we are meeting tonight maybe he’d talk about that” His thoughts were interrupted when his secretary brought in some files, several inches thick. “Please get me some coffee Mary, from the size of this files, it’s going to be a long day” He leaned back in his swivel chair and began to read. |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by trisurface: 7:33pm On Oct 12, 2008 |
tom dropped the folder after reading for twelve minutes straight. his mind was wandering.he got precious little done when his attention was split. something was niggling at a corner of his mind. it was, it looked like, his mobile phone beeped, the name MJ appearing on the screen.his friend's wife. her husband was dotun, a professional colleague, one of the few he could bounce ideas off. they both called his wife MJ, short for Maryjane cos when they were courting, Dotun was using two identities, posing as two different suitors. one entirely online,the other physical.she never found out till Dotun confessed. 'Mr T, whats's good? 'same ni', responded Tom running his fingers across the folder on his table,MJ Probably couldnt reach her husband & wanted to know if he was with Tom, "with you now? she finished as he tuned back to her. 'No, we spoke earlier in the day about 10am. he is supposed to be in the Governor's weekly security meeting. No way his phone will be on if he's in that meeting" you know more about my husband's movement than i do & I'm the one who said "I do", speaking of which, when are you going to get that pretty jessica girl to say "i do"? 'all in good time maryjan, er Bunmi'. I'm Going to pretend i did not hear what you almost said, she replied. must go now,picking the Kids up in 10mins. she hung up, he returned to his thoughts. maryjane,Jane,Jessica, my God, that was it. he jumped up, ran for the door. |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by Banderas(m): 3:43pm On Oct 13, 2008 |
Trisurface - a few questions about your last post: His mind was wandering - wandering how/where? (perhaps try he couldn't concentrate?) Also why is Jessica here again? Is this the same Jessica as before? Why is MJ called Maryjane - what's the connection between the name Maryjane and Dotun using two names to toast her? Can you please answer these things? Also - you stopped while apparently heading into an "action period". It's normally better to complete your action periods before you stop writing, seeing as nobody else knows what the whole Jessica-Jane-MaryJane thing is about. I'm going to try to bring some sanity back into the tale, but it may not be exactly what you were planning. Moving on: Outside his office, he waited for less than a minute before finally losing patience with the lifts and running down the stairs. He hit the lobby in less than three minutes, a testimony to his rather strict fitness regime. As he headed out of the lobby, he shouted a quick "hello" to the security detail in the lobby, who were quite used to seeing him exhibit such eccentricities. A brisk trot, and he was in his car, and driving off. As usual, he headed towards the highway leading to Aja and beyond when he needed to think. Very quickly he wove his way through the busy traffic, uneventful apart from an incident when an okada man seemed determined to end his existence by throwing himself in front of Tom's car, and an overzealous policeman determined to increase his weekend money by all means. Finally, edging his way past the Aja junction and it's characteristic traffic bottleneck, he eased unto the unbroken highway and let his car have it's head. The BMW roared immediately to the increased power, accelerating quickly to 150kmh before purring along, and Tom switched his active thought process away from driving to the things he really wanted to think about. First of course was work. There was the Alhaji who had employed them to find his missing wife, his new wife as he called her. Alhaji Bello, a barely literate, but relatively successful business man had apparently married the daughter of one of his friends. The said daughter was a fresh graduate from university in the UK. King's College, Alhaji had informed him rather proudly. Tom remembered a Halima he'd met at the Afro caribbean night his cousins had taken him to last time he was in the UK, a rather passionate party girl who totally rocked his world on the dance floor at the nightclub they'd gone to after the event, and later on rocked rocked his world in the soft feathery comforts of her bedroom. The next day her flat mate had teasingy called him Alhaji Bello. "First case solved" he thought to himself. One phone call to his cousin would surely reveal here whereabouts. He was sorry for Alhaji, who was never going to consumate this new wife, but it was a quick £50,000. Next was the request Brian had asked him for. He was under no pressure to deliver on that, though Brian had asked him in a rather commanding tone over the phone. His business was with the operation Brian worked for, and not Brian directly. He would need to have a discussion with the boy when they met for drinks. A retainership that pay a good sum of money was one thing, but barking orders at him wasn't going to work. Besides, he was willing to bet that Tom wanted the girls ID for personal reasons, and not for wotk related needs. Tom sighed as he realised he'd just solved his two most pressing work problems, leaving him to think about what he really wasn't sure he wanted to. The non-work stuff. First was this strange coincidence - why did he suddenly have two Jessica's on his plate? There was the Jessica Brian spoke about who in all fairness he was getting paid for, and then the Jessica that Bunmi had introduced him to who was the main issue at hand. Why ever did everyone think he was going to get married to her? (or say "I do" as Bunmi and her friends loved to say). He had met the girl at a party Bunmi and Dotun had dragged him along to, claiming he didn't mix enough with the right sort of people. She was quite pretty, and had dressed to flatter her charms. He'd tried in vain to chat her up for most of the hour or so he had been there, but she'd seemed uninterested, until a guy who was an estate agent had spoken of some VI property he'd been trying to sell, and he'd shown interest. That was one of the sweetest deals he'd done recently - the property was excellent, right in the centre of VI, and he hadn't needed to pay for it in the end - the actual owner was desperately looking for property in the UK, so they'd discussed the possibility of swapping property. Shortly after that discussion, the girl had become amazingly friendly, laughing at everything he said, even when he wasn't trying to be funny. Tom chuckled softly. Despite his concerns, he had actually begun to like the girl, but Bunmi and her friends had now picked it up and were questioning him about it every other day, an instant turn off. Tom wondered how much of these calls were as a result of Jessica pressuring her friends, and how much was simply curiousity on Bunmi's part. Either way, the relationship would have to end asap. Interesting how differently men and women's minds worked so differently he thought as he turned his car around near the intersection for Akodo, and headed back to Lagos. |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by lammy2(f): 6:17pm On Oct 13, 2008 |
@ banderas, u write well banderas, er dont mean to criticise but writing in paragraphs makes it easier to read, also from the previous posts, jane is the target of brian's affections, jessica is the sister. 2ndly, checked out your profile, u are sooooo cuteeeeeeeeeee, i'm totally crushing on you! ![]() |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by trisurface: 6:39pm On Oct 13, 2008 |
jummie/Banderas, heads up pls. banderas, MJ is the synonym of peter parker or Spiderman's Girl/Wife. mary jane for full. should i have said lois lane? tell me the penny's dropped! i guess the first thing we learn as writers-And i use the term loosely where I'm concerned- is that the Ego will not lie low. I dropped in MJ because I used to be a comic freak, same way Jummie moved Tangentially & put in Private Eye in what looked like a romance story-She/He'll have to tell you why, by the way-. I did not put in the Detective, but while we're at it,why not Jazz it up was my thinking. Banderas, U've forcefully brought the story back to your idea of its supposed Trajectory. i could alter its velocity & Direction but to what avail if you'll only bring it back? i pride myself on being able to work with anybody's storyline. if this is the literary exercise its supposed to be, I say you shouldnt appoint yourself Big Brother! and whats sanity anyway? do we have an advisory board on content & guidelines? if we do, let them Adjudicate? if we dont, maybe we need one. your call ,Jummie. |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by lammy2(f): 7:31pm On Oct 13, 2008 |
@trisurface, reading from the very first post, i think the thread is all about having fun, using your imagination and creativity, weaving a lovely fabric of fiction tinted with supsense / romance/ intrigue from the different posts. I think it's just a game, there so many of such writing games here on nairaland. don't lets overdo with rules and regulations. Lets just have fun. Moving on with the story Several hours later, Saturday 6pm Jane stifled a yawn as she attended to the last customer on queue at the store. She swiped his credit card on a P.O.S terminal, issued him a receipt and smiled politely as she bagged his purchases “Thanks for shopping with us, please come again” The customer nodded in return and she watched as he limped to the exit with his purchases. Jane leaned back in her swivel chair, sighed and closed her eyes. “Are you okay Jane dear”? Lola from Aisle 2 hovered around her like a mother hen. “Just exhausted, my shoulders and back hurt like hell” “O.K, turn around girl and feel my massaging power” Jane moaned in pleasure and relief as Lola’s knuckles worked out the kinks in her shoulder and back. “I’m going to miss you Jane” “I would miss you too Lola, but I would keep in touch by email, I’d miss everyone here as well” she said as she looked around the store with part nostalgia and part relief. “I’ve learnt a lot in the last two years that I’ve been here” “Of course Jane! You’ve worked in 10 different departments, since you started your internship. I think your grandfather’s idea of you interning and learning from all departments before assuming a position in management was a good one” “Yeah Granddad is such an astute businessman, from nothing he built a chain of 100 mega stores like this nationwide and worldwide, I guess he wanted me to know how it feels working at the bottom before moving up, and I’m definitely moving up! As soon as I resume as Country Manager next week, I’m getting a furnished apartment, a car and a driver, I can’t wait!” Jane said dreamily. Lola chuckled “See her! Already daydreaming, come on girl, I’m taking you out to dinner, the office gave you your send off party yesterday, but as your best friend here, I’m taking you out for a great dinning experience! My treat! “Gosh Lola! Thanks! Give me a few minutes to tidy up and grab my stuff” ******************************** Brian sat in a secluded corner of the restaurant, his table shielded by potted palm fronds. He curled his tongue around his lips. The escargots had been delicious. He closed his eyes as he sniffed the red liquid in his glass like a connoisseur “Excellent wine” he murmured. He opened his eyes and paused in shock, his wineglass held in mid air, his eyes round in wonder as he stared at someone a few tables away. “Impossible! This has to be fate, this is the second time, I’m seeing her in less than 48 hours” He signaled a waiter, whispered to him and pushed a wad of notes into his hand. The waiter smiled “ Of course sir, I’d do that right away” Brian watched as the waiter approached the table where Jane and another lady were seated. |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by Banderas(m): 10:52pm On Oct 13, 2008 |
Hey Trisurface. You misunderstand me. Personally, I was ready to totally stay away from all other characters and concentrate on Itse. I did have a problem with the Mary Jane character because it just sort of jumped in - even now, while you have told us how she fit's in, I'm yet to see the link between spiderman and Dotun. I know it's all in the name of fun, but I'm also reading this novel, so I guess I was just asking the questions that I found unanswered. By all means feel free to criticise my stuff - Jummy did as well. I just felt the story sort of dropped off in the middle of nowhere, and I tried to bring it to a logical end. Same as you would have done if you were in my shoes. Honestly though, I would rather have left it for you to complete - I was totally enjoying reading it. By all means people, let's just get on with it and have fun. There are no egos at play here, at least not from me. At the same time, if there is something that I'm unclear about I hope you won't take it amiss if I asked? And henceforth, I will no longer attempt to complete other people's directions, I'll simply try to play along where possible, otherwise I'll simply wait until the original author comes back and complete's his flow. Is that cool with everyone? Hey Lami, thanks for the complement - both regarding my profile and my writing. I will endeavour to break up my passages more in future. Guys, let's make this rock! I'll update sometime tomorrow. |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by trisurface: 12:48pm On Oct 15, 2008 |
hey, everyone. thanks for the oh so concilliatory responses. was i bit prickly in my response? my apologies. comes from being on the run from the Law for half your life. lets just have fun, shall we. Banderas, bring on the observations/Criticism. Cant hurt. lets rock, |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by Quesera: 7:44pm On Oct 26, 2008 |
@ Banderas You are fantastic, Strut your stuff! @ Post 'Did you send for a waiter?' Jane asked, looking askance at the Waiter as he approached their table. 'No, we 've placed our orders already'. She replied looking suspiciously at him as he gave a slight bow. 'Please Miss, the gentleman over there wants to see you , ' Jane briskly turned to the direction he nodded to. 'Oh, not again.' 'Who is it?' 'Em, A friend of Jess'. 'So, go say 'Hi' or Is there something i'm missing?' She gave Jane a knowing look. Jane dismissed the Waiter as she caught a wave from Itse's direction. 'Jane, he's not bad-looking.' 'I never said he was.' 'Ok, since you've suddenly grown cold feet, ask him to come over'. Fearing another flirtation by her associates, 'Eh, not to worry, i've got this.' She pulled herself up and headed towards his table. He saw her move from his side view and chose to feign ignorance. Sipping from the glass in his hand, he leaned back and hummed beneath his breathe. 'Hello.' 'Hi Stunner, please have a seat.' 'I am not here alone' 'A few minutes won't steal you away.' He asked arching an eyebrow. He knew the effect this had on her. It always had an effect on ladies and she was no exception. 'Mr , ' 'Edu. Itse Edu'. 'Mr Itse Edu', i came here to have a swell time with my friend and i will not let you ruin our afternoon, so if you will excuse me, i have a date.' She made to leave. 'Oh! I never knew you were into women'. 'I beg your pardon'! 'Let's put an end to this and talk like adults, ok'. 'I guess i'm suppose to swoon at that, well thanks but no thanks'. She snapped and scurried away. He clenched his fist in disappointment as he watched her leave. 'What was that for'? Lola asked as her friend picked her bag from the table. 'Please let's leave.' 'Just like that?' 'Please Lola, ' 'Except you tell me what's going on' 'Suit yourself'. She replied and headed for the exit. Giving Itse a long stare, she hurriedly followed her friend. |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by pinkylady1(f): 12:37pm On Sep 05, 2009 |
interesting |
Re: Let's Write! Add Your Bit To This Story! by ginky: 9:40pm On Sep 06, 2009 |
@Banderas,the guy that sent the note to Jane is not Itse but Brian. @ POST Brian was surprised. Though he wasn't expecting Jane to be friendly but her rudeness was uncalled for. He was used to getting what he wanted but this Jane girl wasn't just interested in whatever he had to say. *************************************** The traffic was terrible and just as Jane breathed a sigh of relief, Lola asked "what was that all about"?."What are you talking about" Jane asked like she didn't understand. "Your insolence towards that nice looking man at the restaurant". "Oh that" Jane continued. "oh come out with it" Lola asked in a curious tone. "ok". He's Brian. The one that offered to share his Umbrella with me" "and" "come on,I still don't understand why you acted the way you did. It was as if he had commited an immortal sin" "how did I act?" Jane asked in an infuriated tone. Lola noticed that Jane was beginning to get annoyed so,she put on the radio and tuned it to Crash 99.2. It had always been their best station and just as they were beginning to enjoy the music "wait for you" by Elliot Yamin, the traffic began to move and soon after, they were in their respective homes. |
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