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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls (8119 Views)
Any Married Lady Who Never Had This Is As Good As unmarried. / The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians / Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by Ryley(m): 5:25pm On Feb 01, 2007 |
I have a sister whose 33, beautiful, eloquent, relatively successful and the works. Every time I look at her, I can’t believe she isn’t someone’s wife. She just seems perfect. I’ve seen the way she relates with men, and I think it’s ok. I don’t think she is bothered about the fact that she’s getting older, and is in no hurry whatsoever, but I’m not sure if this is how she feels. I worry that deep down inside, she is alone. I think the more educated and successful women are, they tend to realize that they don’t have to settle for just any man, and are willing to wait until the find “THE ONE”. Unlike the younger one’s who most times seek to pin ANY man down, so she can laze around in his house. |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by Easyy(m): 1:08pm On Feb 02, 2007 |
honestly, its as if the person that worte those stories was speaking to me directly or givving me an advice. Busta, this is a very uncommon sincerity from a girl. I applaud you heartily. ![]() |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by Rlst84sale(m): 5:54am On May 26, 2008 |
This thread is old but it's worth keeping alive |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by dudubobo1: 8:24am On May 26, 2008 |
To the poster No wonder you're no longer married |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by Arielle: 7:48pm On May 26, 2008 |
@Dudu-Bobo, that was rude and un-called for. Mamaput made very valid points and had enough integrity to buttress her points by giving her experience. If you have nothing valid to contribute, then I suggest you stay off the damn thread. |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by Duduknight(m): 9:50am On May 27, 2008 |
@ Arielle and Dudu-bob I agree somewhat with Dudu-bob without knowing the full details as to why mamaput is now single. You see, marriage is a union of two people ordained by God. A man must love his wife as himself and a woman must submit to her husband. There is nothing wrong with a woman being strong but you shouldn't be strong to bruise a man's ego. If a woman does everything herself, sooner or later, a man will feel like he is not needed. It is possible to know how to do a lot of things yourself but it is also possible to let a man feel like he is needed. If you go into marriage with a backup plan, then you are admitting that the marriage will fail at some point. But if you put your full effort into the marriage, then it just may succeed. Marriage is not a career or business that requires extra-contingency; marriage should be once and should be for life. Some may say 'what if the man dies?'. are you praying or hoping for your husband to die? My father did everything in the house and when he died, my mother had to learn how to do everything. she made mistakes but in the end she succeeded. she sent 4 kids to university and also took over running his business. She didn't die while learning to do things on her own, instead she became stronger and it drew her closer to her kids. We have to look to the Bible for guidance in everything we do (I am not a pastor or anything like that). The answers are there. If you want your marriage to succeed, you must be submissive to your hubby and the man must love his wife. If a woman wants to be single because she is strong and independent, that is also fine but do not encourage other women to be like you. Some women want to be strong but they also want the joys, pains, and lasting memories of marriage. |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by 4Him1(m): 10:23am On May 27, 2008 |
Tchinasa**: Are you on this planet, in denial or trying to console urself? |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by Nobody: 10:31am On May 27, 2008 |
Tchinasa**: ![]() |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by 4Him1(m): 10:40am On May 27, 2008 |
Tchinasa**: the divorce rate doesnt prove your point that marriage is no longer in vogue. It simply means more marriages break down faster. Its just like saying having more hungry people today than 20yrs ago means eating is no longer in vogue. |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by otokx(m): 11:42am On May 27, 2008 |
@4 Him Very right |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by Oby1(f): 1:15pm On May 27, 2008 |
honestly, its as if the person that worte those stories was speaking to me directly or givving me an advice. ![]() |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by 4Him1(m): 1:46pm On May 27, 2008 |
Tchinasa**: 1. It is now legally very easy to get a divorce . . . just go to NYC and see graffiti anouncing "fast food" divorces for $50. 2. Divorce is now socially acceptable, infact it has become a status symbol. 3. Many of us marry for the wrong reasons . . . he looks cute, she's hot, he's father has money, the sex is great e.t.c. 4. Divorce may actually be financially rewarding for some. Just ask Heather Mills. Tchinasa**: There is no connection between marriage being out of vogue and the high rate of divorce. Infact what is in vogue now is celebrities getting engaged and finally marriage - that they will end up in divorce within 2 yrs is simply a by-product of a dysfunctional society. Tchinasa**: Maybe if u try digesting it you may understand the logic behind it. |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by onmyown(m): 5:09pm On May 27, 2008 |
Its not quite simple but a few of the following are probable answers. 1. Not all have been able to eat their cake and have it. Carreer, security can come but many leave a few suitors behind 2. Quite a few of the guys are just simply timid cowards who are afraid they will fail at being providers 3. The ladies have dreamed up what Mr right should be. He is taking too long in coming because he is not yet off the factory line 4. Both the guys and ladies are waiting for who should make the move. Life is not fair, it also moves on. |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by missphil(f): 6:58pm On May 27, 2008 |
I can really relate to this thread ![]() All that being said, I am in love with an amazing Nigerian man who compliments me beautifully. ![]() ![]() If I had to do it all over again I would wait for the right man, rather than "Mr Right Now". ps: However, I do believe the following general (clearly there are exceptions) statements are true about dating and partnership in the 21st century: 1) The more successful a woman is, men are sometimes more intimidated to approach her 2) Love is NOT everthing - partners need to be equally "yolked" (no significant economic, cultural, religious or social disparities) 3) There is a perception that it is easy to divorce if you're just "not feeling him/her" anymore 4) Women are sometimes unrealistic in their expectations of 5) Game playing/mind games is considered MANDATORY 6) People meticulously and painstakingly prepare for their weddings, but NOT their marriages 7) There is a general lack of 'old school' patience and humility - we (particularly women) want everything & it must be perfect NOW pps: Marriage is NOT for everybody! ![]() |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by sheniqua: 7:06pm On May 27, 2008 |
Missphil I agree with you. There's time for everything. A woman ought to go into marriage prepared so that she doesn't rush out. The time of ignorance is passed. Marriage is not compulsory. There are some women out there who ought to be by themselves same goes for some men. |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by Xiomarra: 10:47pm On May 27, 2008 |
4 Him: Nothing to digest my brother. I think we are on the same path but you choose to be you. . . .as always! ![]() Stubborn as a mule! All I highlighted in your write-up above just tells it all. Marriage is like an item in a catalogue. You pick it when you feel like it and dump it when it no longer suits you. It really does not matter what the reasons are. Big girls do not find marriage in "VOGUE" anymore. They go for careers and single parenthood without the unnecessary problems of hunting for a spouse. They are more selective and less dependent. ALL NA FASHION! ![]() ![]() ![]() [size=15pt]RECHARGE CARDS ONLY!!! [/size] missphil: Now this is a real big girl writing here. Someone who knows what she wants and is very comfortable with it. Good job! @4 Him Did you read that? Is this more acceptable for you? ![]() |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by sheniqua: 10:53pm On May 27, 2008 |
bia this girl sef Tchinasa Tchikere ![]() ![]() |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by Xiomarra: 10:54pm On May 27, 2008 |
sheniqua: he he he he he he he he! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by Nobody: 11:58pm On May 27, 2008 |
Should the world be full of married big girls? ![]() |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by Xiomarra: 6:37am On May 28, 2008 |
If you get married you are no longer a "big girl". Please read the topic and stay the course. . . according to "George Bush"! Only unmarried girls or ladies between ages 25-35 qualify as "big" girls. Over 35 need another terminology. Old cargos! ![]() |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by missphil(f): 8:20am On May 28, 2008 |
Sheniqua, thank you my dear - I spoke from the heart. ![]() Xiomarra, your posts have me laughing too much! ![]() ![]() Thankfully, I am nowhere near being "old cargo" yet! |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by LetThemSay: 9:06pm On May 28, 2008 |
I just could not read the long essay. I am answering the simple question : Why is The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls : Because they ate all the thin girls. ![]() |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by HRhotness(f): 9:09pm On May 28, 2008 |
LetThemSay: see as u have exposed ur ignorance,. if u had read even one other post u'd realise the topic was not about big girls in terms of size but big girls in terms of status. . . . . u were in so much in a hurry to bash fat girls, hope u feel proud of urself |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by savanaha: 9:12pm On May 28, 2008 |
Because all the unmarried Big men have not married them. |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by LetThemSay: 10:15pm On May 28, 2008 |
HR.hotness: Yeppp so proud lol ![]() ![]() |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by dudubobo1: 9:38am On May 29, 2008 |
Marriage is no longer in vogue please. But for children, societal pressure, companionship and some religious "cultic" beliefs, people continue to plunge in. Small wonder the divorce rate world wide is alarming. The rants of a frustrated human being. Probably a woman who has had 1/2/3 failed marriages and trying to mislead younger girls into the same path |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by mazaje(m): 8:22pm On May 29, 2008 |
dudu-bobo: you can say that again, that's typical of a bitter and fustrated woman who has learnt it the hard way, i won't even try to ridicule her for all her rants but i can only empathize and try to understand her cos she has her reasons and has made her points. |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by Xiomarra: 8:13pm On May 31, 2008 |
dudu-bobo: mazaje: We don hear! Like anyone asked you guys or shemales who can only afford to get phocked in the arse by fellow cross dressers for a fee when the correct customers have all been chosen for the night? ![]() ![]() Single nairaland old cargos, with multiple failed YIM romances! At least I have failed "marriages" with some priceless collection of rings to show for my conquest of mugus like you discarded in the trash can!!!! Idiots! At least I have tasted it. . . you try to see if anyone will prize you off the shelf with your stinking arses full of AIDS!!! ![]() |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by dudubobo1: 7:40pm On Jun 02, 2008 |
Xiomarra: Some of us are not frustrated retards which is what you are. Some of us are happily married to wonderful women. Thank God we avoided 'slum buggers' and life-time failures like you when we wanted to get married |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by Xiomarra: 8:37pm On Jun 02, 2008 |
dudu-bobo: By their fruits you will surely know them! You happily married? Even if you are "Frankies" the dunce of Nairaland! ![]() ![]() I love being a failure. Deal with it I say. Or are you still interested in a one-night stand with me? You have to wait in line and undergo a thorough medical exam for at least one year incase you have some thing like Yaradua's disease without a diagnosis. It will cost you a handsome fee to the point of bankruptcy. Because I would have to be physically and spiritually compensated for your numerous handicaps! Including a shrivelled, disease-infested, impotent pen-is! ![]() Please get lost or go phock your mother! She needs you! Only her womanhood can fit your manhood or lack thereoff! Later my love. . .some of us have full time jobs! While you stand along the road side hoping you will be chosen tonight as an "Abacha" boy hoping to land one huge 419 contract after being sodomized in Abuja over there! Idiot! |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by ono(m): 11:13pm On Jun 02, 2008 |
But. . . . . |
Re: Why The World Is Full Of Unmarried Big Girls by LauraB1: 1:11pm On Jun 03, 2008 |
The write up is a good one, to she who has ears, let her hear the advice. Though some ladies here already said that they prefer being single and not all the ladies will like to marry, yes I agree with them, but the truth of the whole matter is that 90% of ladies world wide will like to get married and have their own home. Then if we want to do a further studies on who actually want to get married, amongst most unmarried big girls, you will be shocked that 95% of them wants to experience it even if be it that they will later get out of it someday. My dear sisters, marriage is good no matter how you see it. why some people see it as terrible is because of their choice of pattern, more over, is more fun when you quarrel and stuffs like that, it makes the bond stronger. So if by any way you as a lady think that marriage is not sweet, probably your past relationship or even your parents’ attitude is time for you to throw away that feelings and carry on. How will you feel say 30 to 40 years in marriage, and then you have successful children and grand children. These are seed you sow now. Then how will you feel when you are 50 to 60 years old, just you alone? You see your friends and sisters families and all that? Then you will know what it means. What so ever you sow, same you shall reap, nothing good comes that easily. But we have to carry on. |
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