Dear Nairalanders

Please i need your candid opinion on this very sensitive issue.

I am a lady of 27years old. I met this guy about a year ago and we started dating, he is 39years old. We really are in love, he was the one who disvirgined me, but my parents are not in support of our relationship. Their reason for objecting is that the age difference is just too much and that in a couple of years to come our interests will differ and as such the marriage will become very stresfull for me. They also told me including some of my friends that there must be more to it that meets the eyes for a man who is almost 40years not to be married.

Actually i have met most of his friends, parents, siblings, pastors etal and i have not found anything starange about him,  he want us to get married anytime soon and he is really willing to talk to my parents but they are not ready to listen to him.

However because of the love i have for him, i suggested to him about 4months ago that i should get pregnant, although it is against the tenets of my religion, but he said he would want us to do it right i.e he does not want me to be pregnant until my parents accepts him and i have told him several times that my parents would not listen unless we did something drastic.

At some point i told him that i was opting out of the relationship because i dont wana waste his time, but he breaks and cry like a baby all the  time i tell him this.

My dilema are; He will not agree to impregnate me, neither will my parent listen to him without me doing something drastic. Please what do i do?

@jemaima

advice:

follow your heart
open your eyes wide
think with your brain.


you are in the best position to understand your situation. don't get pregnant until you get married.

pray! pray!! pray!!!

jemaima:

Dear Nairalanders

Please i need your candid opinion on this very sensitive issue.

I am a lady of 27years old. I met this guy about a year ago and we started dating, he is 39years old. We really are in love, he was the one who disvirgined me, but my parents are not in support of our relationship. Their reason for objecting is that the age difference is just too much and that in a couple of years to come our interests will differ and as such the marriage will become very stresfull for me. They also told me including some of my friends that there must be more to it that meets the eyes for a man who is almost 40years not to be married.

Actually i have met most of his friends, parents, siblings, pastors etal and i have not found anything starange about him,  he want us to get married anytime soon and he is really willing to talk to my parents but they are not ready to listen to him.

However because of the love i have for him, i suggested to him about 4months ago that i should get pregnant, although it is against the tenets of my religion, but he said he would want us to do it right i.e he does not want me to be pregnant until my parents accepts him and i have told him several times that my parents would not listen unless we did something drastic.

At some point i told him that i was opting out of the relationship because i don't wana waste his time, but he breaks and cry like a baby all the  time i tell him this.[b]

My dilema are; He will not agree to impregnate me, [/b]neither will my parent listen to him without me doing something drastic. Please what do i do?

wat'? wat is it wt all dis pregnancy of a thing?

u should be lucky dat he's refused,wat if he ends up not marryin u,wat happens?

@post

maybe there is something your parents saw about him that you didn't see.
trust parents!

open your eyes wide and think with your brain.

What makes you think that getting pregnant will fix your situation??  Girl, that's not the solution. Ure 27 right? If ure certain that this is thee man for you, go for it. Get the bus moving and your parents will catch you at the next bus station!!

there's nothing we won't hear in this place.
@ poster your people may even hate the guy more if you turn up pregnant.
You'll then force them to accept him not because of a change of heart but because they don't want their daughter with a child and single.

Let me give you a word of advise,marriage is a lot more than laying and carrying belle.
You must make sure your parents give their blessing.
Get your aunts and uncles to plead on your behalf.
I'm saying this because if you let this man believe your parents opinions don't matter in your life,you may live to regret it later.
When the real trials of marriage come,you'll have no one to go to and some callous men will remind you of how lowly you think of your own parents.
And then you'll really look like a fool.
It's not worth it.
Your parents are the only ones that'll be there for you when push comes to shove
You never want them someday to say
"I told you so"

awwww!!!!

a big really big issue u got here!!!!

Although they say age is juzz a numba. . . buh sometimes it matters, as long as there's true love. Ur family on d oda hand also matters. So it'z either d man u love or ur loving family!!!

I bet ur parents has their other reasonz for disapproving ur marrige!!!

Taking it from d experience of a young lady, who got married to a man. . . same age difference as yours - '12yrz', although they claim to love each other, however there isn't so much trust in d relationship anymore, as the husband is so insecure he most times accuses his wife of havin extra marital affair, this makes them quarrel most times!!!

M not sayin such might happen 2 u, buh it dpendz on both of u!!

May God help u!!!

Goodluck in wteva decision u make!!!

whats it with name jemaima and heart break.

sweetheart,do get pregnant oh i beg you in the name of GOD AND EVERYTHING YOU HOLD HIGH IN LIFE.take time off to think this through cos you might regret it later.wait awhile cos this issue is delicate and pray about it.i sincerely hope GOD WILL see you thru.bye sis