ive always viewed racism as a state of the mind, thats on the part of the person being discriminated against.

kimba:

ive always viewed racism as a state of the mind, thats on the part of the person being discriminated against.

O.K. now how does this realate to interracial dating & marriage?

kimba:

ive always viewed racism as a state of the mind, thats on the part of the person being discriminated against.

chinani:

O.K. now how does this realate to interracial dating & marriage?

Taking a guess here.
I think he's referring to the fact, that an inter-racial relationship is seen as different or something to be discussed because of the mindset of the person/individuals in the relationship. Essentially he's saying mixed relationships are only an issue because those in the relationship make an issue of the race of their partner.

However, it is definitely arguable that seeing racist hostility against your relationship where it does not exist comes from prior occurences. i.e. "The whole world is against us" mentality.

As I see it as long as human beings see something as different, inter-racial relationships will always be fodder for discussion. People will only stop taking notice when Mulattos represent a large chunk of the human race.

nothing is wrong with an inter-racial relationship. I'm african and a christian by religion and i've recently been engaged to an asian guy plus he's moslim what i'm trying to say is that it's OK as long as the datees are OK withit, who cares about what other people think, it's my happiness

I can speak from experience. 

I'm a black woman and have dated my share of men.  White, Pr, Cuban, Honduran, Mixed races,and black.  I can honestly say for the new age of educated black women, that we expect more from our " men" no matter what race. UNFORTUNATELY, black men of today aren't up to par. They don't respect us because of our opinions and boldness. My personal view is that black men are attracted to what they can NOW get their hands on. The " untouchable ". They believe that they've accomplished something that says they can get a white woman, or any other race woman being a black man. But what then? Babies? Their " women" doing ALL the work to support them?And. . . what else?

On the other hand, black women are becoming more excepted into the business/mature/comfortable life. We look for some one who can run with OUR flow.  They happen to be white/Spanish/ or another race. I myself am engaged to a PR/Italian men. I can honestly say that what attracts me to my honey is the way he treats me. He treats me like I'm a Queen. He loves my brown skin. My dark eyes. My personality. MY MIND,    I have yet to see a black man feel that way towards us black women today.

I also believe that SOME black women are pissed off that white women are taking the " good ones". In acutality its HIS choice to not be with a black woman. They don't feel apprecitated by us black women because THEY DON'T COME UP TO PAR! Just because they share our skin color doesn't automatically grant them love. . . They need to be worthy of us. Value our opinions.  Don't just f*ck us and leave us alone with children. Love our brown skin and our features. If they don't. . . forget them.

Black women need to get with the program and realize, we cant fix the way our black men are. We can't make them want us. We need to look for someone who loves us for US and our souls. NOT just because they share the same color skin. We B*tch and moan so much because MEN give us reasons to, but thats WHAT ALL WOMEN DO.

We're beautiful. Unique and in other places men LOVE US just because we're brown-skinned . I must admit, the pool of black men loving us black women is fading. . and fading. . and fading. . .SO just find love. No matter the race, but just the person.

Morena:

I have yet to see a black man feel that way towards us black women today.

You must be rolling with the wrong crowd.

it is true, black men (the ones i've met) treat black women like nobodies, all they want is to get laid and off they go. i don't mean any harm but if black men are abit patient and treat us they way we wanna be treated, they'd be in with a chance

To be honest, i don't have many good things to say bout all the black girls i've kicked i with but like my guiness, i love me some black!

awwwwww poor U

Morena:

I can speak from experience.

I'm a black woman and have dated my share of men. White, Pr, Cuban, Honduran, Mixed races,and black. I can honestly say for the new age of educated black women, that we expect more from our " men" no matter what race. UNFORTUNATELY, black men of today aren't up to par. They don't respect us because of our opinions and boldness. My personal view is that black men are attracted to what they can NOW get their hands on. The " untouchable ". They believe that they've accomplished something that says they can get a white woman, or any other race woman being a black man. But what then? Babies? Their " women" doing ALL the work to support them?And. . . what else?

On the other hand, black women are becoming more excepted into the business/mature/comfortable life. We look for some one who can run with OUR flow. They happen to be white/Spanish/ or another race. I myself am engaged to a PR/Italian men. I can honestly say that what attracts me to my honey is the way he treats me. He treats me like I'm a Queen. He loves my brown skin. My dark eyes. My personality. MY MIND, I have yet to see a black man feel that way towards us black women today.

I also believe that SOME black women are pissed off that white women are taking the " good ones". In acutality its HIS choice to not be with a black woman. They don't feel apprecitated by us black women because THEY DON'T COME UP TO PAR! Just because they share our skin color doesn't automatically grant them love. . . They need to be worthy of us. Value our opinions. Don't just f*ck us and leave us alone with children. Love our brown skin and our features. If they don't. . . forget them.

Black women need to get with the program and realize, we can't fix the way our black men are. We can't make them want us. We need to look for someone who loves us for US and our souls. NOT just because they share the same color skin. We B*tch and moan so much because MEN give us reasons to, but thats WHAT ALL WOMEN DO.

We're beautiful. Unique and in other places men LOVE US just because we're brown-skinned . I must admit, the pool of black men loving us black women is fading. . and fading. . and fading. . .SO just find love. No matter the race, but just the person.

Morena,

Blk men are not apar with thier women, ??, baby , just what do you mean by this, , that blk men are not achieving higher socoi - economic status at the same rate with thier women, ? - if thats what you are saying i disagree with you.JUST AS MANY SISTERS ARE MOVING UP THE ECONOMIC LADDER , MANY BLK GUYS ARE ALSO RACING UP.

As for blk men getting thier hands on the "untouchable" - i understand what you mean - but ill love to just remind you that men by thier nature are "curious hunters" - and just as many blk men may be sexually curious about wht women - many wht guys are sexually curious about blk girls. - its a "man thing" - i mean sexual curiousity - blk ,wht asian and rainbow coloured men all have this desire to "conquer unknown territory".

i understand THE FEELING - blk gurls feeling bad and jealous about us brothers going for wht gurls - but 90 percent of brothers still end up with blk sisters - 90 percent. ILL ALSO LIKE YOU TO KNOW THAT BLK GUYS FEEL JEALOUS ABOUT SEEING SISTERS WITH WHT GUYS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saying wht guys "respect and value blk girls"- is a load of bull shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!! - most wht guys just want a piece of "blk ass" - for the adventure of it. Do you know the history of sexual exploitation of blk women by wht men in the slave era America, ?? - do you know how wht men plunder blk girls in Africa - exploiting the poorer socio economic status of blk girls to "lay" them, ??,. Do you know how ashamed many blk guys feel to see thier women flock around wht men like flies around shit in africa - ?? - just for a few dolars - most of these wht guys are expartrate workers in African nations - the go on rampage fucking blk girls who flock to them for hard currency.

How many wht guys would truly take a blk gurl home and introduce her as "my fiance" - some may , but i tell you most would be too ashamed - considering our women too inferior - considering that such a "union" - would be "embarassing" to thier families - but blk gurls are okay to them for " a casual lay" - and most of them consider blk gurls "cheap and easy" - eager to date "men from the master race" - baby girl - dont give me any fairy tale story of wht guys valueing blk gurls - look and feel the reality on the ground - the vast reality !!!!!!!!!!!!

racial prjudices still exist and run deep - morena - thats the truth - and blk guys are not abandoning thier women - i wont date a wht woman who wants to Bleep me in secret because she blives i have a big dick but is ashamed to be seen with me in public - BLK MEN ALSO LOVE THE FEAUTRES OF THIER WOMEN - WE ARE THE ONLY RACE THAT PRODUCES WOMEN WITH WONDERFULL FLESH IN THE RIGHT PLACES - IN PROPORTIONS AND CURVES THAT CAN MAKE ANY MAN DIZZY WITH LUST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE LOVE OUR WOMEN - MORENA - WE MAY PLAY AROUND , SOME MAY MARRY WHT SISTERS - BUT WE LOVE OUR WOMEN AND 90 PERCENT OF US WILL ULTIMATELY SETLE DOWN FINALLY WITH A SISTER !!!!!!!!!!!

I see this thread is going around in circles. . .

hey guys i kinda new to this but iv always nevver before been atrracted to a black girl before the funny part is that ive never net a white female either but i ust dont get along with black girls . the only white f i met on the lagos island really apprecciated my ability to write poems and tell jokes but in all th approx 30 black f they either thought since i couldnt buy stuff for them that i was broke or soe just didnt understand what poetry was anyway.i dont hav a car or a flashy phone it didnt matter to the white but that alone disqualified e fr all the black f lists. can anyone hook me up to a white chick i dont minnd mixxed.

I am happy to be in interracial relations. Im russian, and my man in from Nigeria, and i love him so much!!

I'm a white guy in America (northeastern urban area), but I've visited Britain a few times. One thing I've noticed is that here, interracial relationships are usually a black man with a white woman. In Britain it's just as likely to be the other way round. In fact I wonder if the Brits may be thinking a black woman is exotic and interesting and generally extra fun to be with. ("jungle fever", ha ha). Of course there are lots of people of West Indian origin in Britain, not necessarily Africans. In America, though, anything racial is still a poisoned issue. And we've got this really sad situation with a lot of black men, where the women are going to college and getting good jobs, then finding that the men just aren't keeping up, to the point where there aren't many black men at their social level and so the women end up lonely. Morena described this, though she seems to be surviving, and good for her. As I said, white American men aren't often willing to look at black women, but to make it even more cruel, some black men find white partners. I don't know what the answer to this is.

I've read some really interesting and ignorant posts but anyways. I'm more attracted to White men because of my up-bringing. I was brought up in a White society, I've always had White friends. I am attracted to Black men, but I don't exactly see myself dating one due to stereotyping.

I am going to be honest here, I was brought up in a racist family. I grew up with my mom and sister and I just met my dad few years ago, even though I'm black, I tend to stereotype Black people a lot. I didn't want to bring this up but my mother is mixed, my uncles are racists. Even though they're mixed, they are still racists. I can't explain it so don't ask me why. They've made so many racist remarks that at one point, I became really prejudiced.

My point is, my racial preference (White) is due to the way I was raised. My dad is a racist to Arabs, Asians . . . I was influenced by him. He told me so many things when I was young (13) and I'm having a really difficult time getting passed them.

I don't see anything wrong in interracial dating BUT when I see a black man/woman with an Asian/Arab boy or girl, I dislike it. I know it's wrong but old habits are hard to get rid of.
In order words, I'm more of in support of Black/White relationships. I might be ignorant but I was brought up this way. I was even TAUGHT to think like this.

I'm just hoping that one day, I'll really get over this crappy way of viewing things because, it IS ridiculous.

I probably went off topic but in resumé: Interracial relationships aren't wrong but there are some races a black woman/man shouldn't date.

retro:

. . .there are some races a black woman/man shouldn't date.

Thanks for being honest Retro. What races do you have in mind and why is it wrong to date them?

A black man/woman dating an Asian man/woman is odd. Especially Arabs, they are better off getting married to their kind.

Asians: their culture, it's just so hard. The couple will have a very hard time getting along with the parents of the Asian person. Even a White person dating an Asian is hard. A friend of mine is having problems with his Asian girlfriend, they'll eventually end up breaking up.

Arabs: Just no, no, no. Culture wise, everything.

Gosh, I need to stop thinking like this.

retro:

A black man/woman dating an Asian man/woman is odd. Especially Arabs, they are better off getting married to their kind.

Why?

retro:

Asians: their culture, it's just so hard. The couple will have a very hard time getting along with the parents of the Asian person.

And the same isn't true in the other direction? All intercultural marriages are hard. It's up to the couple to see where their priorities are.

retro:

Even a White person dating an Asian is hard. A friend of mine is having problems with his Asian girlfriend, they'll eventually end up breaking up.

They don't have their priorities straight. Their relationship wouldn't work out if they had the same cultural background either.

retro:

Arabs: Just no, no, no. Culture wise, everything.

I guess you know all Arabs? Is a Moroccan Berber an Arab? Is a Lebanese Christian an Arab?

retro:

Gosh, I need to stop thinking like this.

That's probably where the problem is. You need to free your mind.

I think I'd like my first girlfriend to be Asian. My friend's friend is dating an Asian and they've been together for more than three years. That should tell you something [he's white].

I'm not saying it's easy but barriers can always be broken.

nferyn:

Why?

It's something I can't explain. I'm really prejudiced and I'm really trying hard to get over it. I was influenced by my family!

And the same isn't true in the other direction? All intercultural marriages are hard. It's up to the couple to see where their priorities are.

Of course, they are hard but White/Asian is harder. It's a fact. Asians are closed. In my opinion, even if they get married, they'll eventually break up so why start at all?

They don't have their priorities straight. Their relationship wouldn't work out if they had the same cultural background either.

They've been together for 2 years. The problem is from the girl's family (Asians), they are really pushy. They're already talking of marriage, he's only 18! It's just too hard for him.

I guess you know all Arabs? Is a Moroccan Berber an Arab? Is a Lebanese Christian an Arab?
That's probably where the problem is. You need to free your mind.

Did I say I knew all Arabs? By the way, I live in Brussels, the Arabs here aren't friendly either. They aren't in favour of interracial relationships. The boys in my class hate when their fellow Arabs date other races, they become really angry and whatnot. I am not in support of Black/Arab relationships.

That's probably where the problem is. You need to free your mind.

Tell me something I don't know. I hate it, I'm really trying but my family are sooo . . . oh well.

retro:

It's something I can't explain. I'm really prejudiced and I'm really trying hard to get over it. I was influenced by my family!

I know you can get over it, as long as you try.

retro:

Of course, they are hard but White/Asian is harder. It's a fact. Asians are closed. In my opinion, even if they get married, they'll eventually break up so why start at all?

Some would say that relations between whites and Africans are hardest. It all depends on the couple's perspective and priorities.

retro:

They've been together for 2 years. The problem is from the girl's family (Asians), they are really pushy. They're already talking of marriage, he's only 18! It's just too hard for him.

Once more, it depends on the couple's priorities. All relationships have downsides, it all depends on how that measures up against the positives.

retro:

Did I say I knew all Arabs? By the way, I live in Brussels, the Arabs here aren't friendly either. They aren't in favour of interracial relationships. The boys in my class hate when their fellow Arabs date other races, they become really angry and whatnot. I am not in support of Black/Arab relationships.

I have lived in Brussels for 9 years (studies at VUB and 4 years in Molenbeek) and it all depends on your circle of friends. The Arabs and Turks I got acquainted with at university are really quite friendly and open. I you go roam the streets of Schaarbeek or Molenbeek at night, you won't find many friendly faces, indeed
What is quite noticable though is a very strong anti-black racism among the less educated Morocans. It can get quite vile at times

retro:

Tell me something I don't know. I hate it, I'm really trying but my family are sooo . . . oh well.

We all have to fight our prejudices - e-v-e-r-y---d-a-y

nferyn:

Some would say that relations between whites and Africans are hardest.

I don't think so. Oh well.

I you go roam the streets of Schaarbeek or Molenbeek at night, you won't find many friendly faces, indeed

That's my point. I live in Woluwe saint lambert. A very quiet place but I school at Schaarbeek. They are ALWAYS fighting. They are disgusting, loud, annoying and racist! They hate White people. They live in a White country yet they hate White people . . . how logical is that? Sometimes I'm like yeah, I'll stop being prejudiced but they ALWAYS do something I hate! To be truthful, I think in a few months, I might become a racist towards Arabs. I don't want to but they irck me a lot.

What is quite noticable though is a very strong anti-black racism among the less educated Morocans. It can get quite vile at times

It is always vile. I go to a 75 % muslim school, (50 % Arabs and 50 % Turks). I'm freer with the Turks than the Arabs but they are both muslims, why is that? I'm not the only one who feels this way. I have a group of friends who think like me. One of my friends lives at Sint Josse (or something like that) and whenever I visit her, someone always whistles at me or try to touch me! Ewww. They hate Black people but they hit on me?

We all have to fight our prejudices - e-v-e-r-y---d-a-y

I try doing that but . . .

I'm am seriously against Black, White, Asians, whatever/Arab relationships. In my opinion, they should be left alone.

retro:

I you go roam the streets of Schaarbeek or Molenbeek at night, you won't find many friendly faces, indeed Wink

That's my point. I live in Woluwe saint lambert. A very quiet place but I school at Schaarbeek. They are ALWAYS fighting. They are disgusting, loud, annoying and racist! They hate White people. They live in a White country yet they hate White people . . . how logical is that? Sometimes I'm like yeah, I'll stop being prejudiced but they ALWAYS do something I hate! To be truthful, I think in a few months, I might become a racist towards Arabs. I don't want to but they irck me a lot.

You should also look at the conditions they live in, not that they are blameless, but Belgian society doesn't give them much opportunities, so they lash out. If you meet some people that are settled, you'll see something very different. Anyway, I guess you're going to a francophone school and we know that they are underfunded and in general don't really attract the best of the best when it comes to pupils. Maybe you should change schools (if that's possible)

retro:

What is quite noticable though is a very strong anti-black racism among the less educated Morocans. It can get quite vile at times

It is always vile. I go to a 75 % muslim school, (50 % Arabs and 50 % Turks). I'm freer with the Turks than the Arabs but they are both muslims, why is that? I'm not the only one who feels this way. I have a group of friends who think like me. One of my friends lives at Sint Josse (or something like that) and whenever I visit her, someone always whistles at me or try to touch me! Ewww. They hate Black people but they hit on me?

Turkey is a secular state and even though they're muslim, they have a very different attitude than the Morrocans. You should go and visit the Turkish quarter in Ghent, very pleasant - and good and cheap food
Saint-Josse is the poorest Commune in Belgium and it naturally attracts a lot of disfunctional people and on top of that the area they live in doesn't give them a positive picture of blacks with all the prostitution going on there.

nferyn:

If you meet some people that are settled, you'll see something very different.

But I've never met a settled Arab.

Anyway, I guess you're going to a francophone school and we know that they are underfunded and in general don't really attract the best of the best when it comes to pupils. Maybe you should change schools (if that's possible)

Pst! French schools aren't underfunded. That's what the Flemish say! *rolls eyes*. They do attract the best students (me . . .).

Turkey is a secular state and even though they're muslim, they have a very different attitude than the Morrocans. You should go and visit the Turkish quarter in Ghent, very pleasant - and good and cheap food

No, thank you. I still find them scary though. Although, I like their food. Lol.

Saint-Josse is the poorest Commune in Belgium

It is the poorest commune in Belgium? O__O, that sucks.

retro:

Anyway, I guess you're going to a francophone school and we know that they are underfunded and in general don't really attract the best of the best when it comes to pupils. Maybe you should change schools (if that's possible)

Pst! French schools aren't underfunded. That's what the Flemish say! *rolls eyes*. They do attract the best students (me . . .).

That must be because I'm Flemish LOL
Well, relatively speaking they [b]are [/b]underfunded (compared to Flemish schools, that is, especially in Brussels). And the overall output in test scores is far below the European average (OECD numbers), but you will always have goods schools everywhere and good students always come out regardless of the environment

Retro, I wondered where you lived at first, with such an odd (to an English-speaking person) set of racial attitudes, but I see you're in Belgium. We tend to have black and white, and everything else is on a less emotional level--hearing that racism can take such different forms should be a lesson for us all, in how arbitrary it all is.

I heard this joke, or this story, years ago. There was a nice young Belgian woman who went on vacation to Reunion Island. She was away a month, and when she came back she'd met and married a man there, and she brought him back with her--and he was black. As far as her parents were concerned it was a total disgrace, and it was weeks before they'd even speak to her. She had brought a French-speaker into the family!

Maybe a Belgian would say, well obviously that's the point.

Natureboy:

Retro, I wondered where you lived at first, with such an odd (to an English-speaking person) set of racial attitudes, but I see you're in Belgium. We tend to have black and white, and everything else is on a less emotional level--hearing that racism can take such different forms should be a lesson for us all, in how arbitrary it all is.

Well, Belgium is a weird country

Natureboy:

I heard this joke, or this story, years ago. There was a nice young Belgian woman who went on vacation to Reunion Island. She was away a month, and when she came back she'd met and married a man there, and she brought him back with her--and he was black. As far as her parents were concerned it was a total disgrace, and it was weeks before they'd even speak to her. She had brought a French-speaker into the family!

As with most jokes, there is some truth in it. The linguistic divide in Belgium is far greater than the racial divide will ever be. Both sides are equally guilty here.

Natureboy:

Maybe a Belgian would say, well obviously that's the point.

Some people wonder why there still isn't a civil war over here. You really have two completely separated communities. While there used to be a lot of contacts and intermarriage, that has reduced considerably. Right now the Flemish and French speaking Belgians even start using English as a [i]neutral [/i]language

NatureBoy,

I am an American of African origin (10th generation).  You mentioned that white men aren't generally interested in Black women.  FYI I don't know any Black American women that are attracted to the average white boy.  The majority of the sistahs don't find you physically attractive.  You simply aren't built well, and that pale pasty skin, thin lips, hawk-like nose, flat butt, and whiney voice that bode well with me.  You are simply unattractive men to most Black American women.  Now Africans may be a different story.  There is a lot of colonial residue left.

I like my man with thick lips, dark skin, thick thighs and calves, a tight round butt, and wholly hair.   Men of African descent are simply more physically attractive than European origin. 

For me to even given of man of European orign a chance, he must be dark and very ethnic looking.

Nferyn,

You mentioned that AA were distinctly America.  Of course, I am an American, 10th generation.  Yes we have our own distinct culture that influences the entire planet.  Again, who are you people?

Chinai,

Girl I am feelin' your post.  I know how you feel.  Interesting I was having a similar conversation on another thread why some sistahs may feel the need to reluctantly go outside of the family to find a suitable make.  People really did not like what I had to say. And I know you can attest to this, very few sistahs are attracted to the white guys.

BigSis:

Nferyn,

You mentioned that AA were distinctly America. Of course, I am an American, 10th generation. Yes we have our own distinct culture that influences the entire planet. Again, who are you people?

Whuy this jab? Have I offended you?
My point is that Americans (US citizens) have the tendency to look at the outside world from a very American-centric point of view. I just find it quite tellig that AA's call white Americans European or when they lecture Africans on what it is to be African. AA cultural idioms are many times way closer to white American idioms than they are to those of Africans

BigSis--madam, you leave me crushed. CRUSHED! But either British men have a lot more to offer, or black women in Britain are less fussy than you are, because I've often seen interracial couples together there--looking happy! And apparently whatever's wrong with white American men doesn't apply to white women in the eyes of black men, if you know what I mean. But as I said before, anything to do with race is poisoned over here. It's sad, but we have a history.

And Nferyn--where's it heading? Sounds like one of these tribal disputes, to an outsider.

Natureboy:

And Nferyn--where's it heading? Sounds like one of these tribal disputes, to an outsider.

It is exactly that. Some real problems from the past have been blown out of proportion and we don't communicate anymore. The perception of the problems is so different between the two linguistical groups that it has become difficult even to communicate about them. Luckily nobody is looking at violence to solve the problems. Belgium is probably going to dissolve in Europe anyway.

Nubian,

To the earlier poster who said that Black women were tired or something like that. I don't think it is right to discount someone eles' experiences. If she does not feel loved, revered, and admired by Black men then that her experience. It is like you telling me your toe hurts, but I saw "aw naw, you are just imaging it!" Now I don't agree with everything she said, but a lot of what she said has much truth in it.

I too find many black males "talk the talk, but don't walk the walk!" If you take note, I did qualify it with "many." I know quite a few black women who feel very disheartened with Black men. So I feel her pain some.

I find a lot of Black males that talk this "blacker than thou" rhetoric to be very fake and hypocrital. Most of them buy wholeheartedly into white supremacy and at the same time claim to be "down" with the folks.

If you love black women as you claim, why do you feel the need to denigrate them? Anybody can see through facade.