Well! Well! Well! Seems the party still goes on even when I'm not around! Gah. . . Momma was wrong, the world does not revolve around me. This is going to open up a lotta issue. Oy! Like I don't have enough to deal with, what with Thirdborn not knowing I am who he is been asking for all this time.  . . talk about being unmemorable

Anyway, before the issues start bursting out, let's have a recap shall we, so far in this REVOLUTION PARTY of ours. . .

1) We all agreed Nollywood needs a revolution and why it can be done - Band Leader's Intro

2) We agreed that money is a big factor.  (This was discussed extensively, covering over 30 posts)

3) We discussed the Flaws in the Nollywood Movies

4) We discussed The Tenets of Story Telling

5) We Discussed What Role Marketers and Promoters Play in how these movies are made

6) We discussed Nollywood putting more life into their production. . . Investment

7) We discussed The Different Revolutions Nollywood needs to undertake

8  ) We debated on The Different types of Investments

9 ) We bored Vesc, Favcom and Onyx79 to tears

10 ) We talked about Audience Expectation

11) Going back to The Basics

12) We were shocked by A Declaration of Love for all things Nollywood

13) Finally we discussed The Possibility of a Professional Governing Body


This is for those who don’t want to get bored to tears reading long boring posts from people who like to go on and on and on about nada . . . oh alright not people, me. . . me okay. Jeez! A girl can’t do nothin’ right in this place.

Anyhoo, what we really haven’t done, is involve the Nollywood movie loving Audience in our revolution, so next stop. . . a question to all Nollywood Lovers, Haters, Neutral-ers.


WHAT MAKES A GOOD MOVIE. . . GOOD

Some Questions to think about . . . Remember THIS IS STRICTLY FOR NOLLYWOOD MOVIES.

1) In movies you really like, what do you think was most important?

The script
Who does the movie star?
The characters
The plot/storyline
Special effects
Music/songs
Visuals (does it look good on the big screen?)
Action
Romance
Suspense
Actually feeling the characters' emotions


2) What do you think spoils movies most?
A bad script
Irritating characters
Poor storyline
Themes that have been done too many times
If it's too long or slow
If it's too short
Noticeable mistakes (continuity, seeing cameras when you shouldn't, etc)
Having to yell `Just kiss him/her!'
Overplayed action/romance scenes
A stupid or radical ending
Being based extremely loosely on a book
Being too predictable
Being too radical

3) Have you stopped watching a movie before the end of it?
Yes
No

4) What is your opinion on movie sequels?
Every movie should have a sequel!
Some sequels are good
No, any sequel is rarely as good as the original
Can nobody think of something original?

Will be awaiting your responses, until then. . . Party on!!!

Very succinct way to pose questions. Options!!! I love questions with options. Let's get right to it, shall we?

1. As I love movies for mostly different reasons, there can be no single reason why I loved them, so I'll go for a blend of

- The Script; I never see this but it translates to all that makes a good movie. It's simple bad script = bad movie. Good script = good movie or bad movie (when badly made)
- Plot
- Storyline (I'd like to think a storyline is a plot but a plot is not a storyline)
- Characters
- Casting
- Suspense
- Empathy
- I'd like to add the director. I have made berths of films solely cuz of who made it and vice versa

AS for the aspects that don't really matter

- Who does the movie star. I don't know whether to equate this with casting. But if you mean star power. I do not care for star power. I thought Eragon, Trasformers, even AvP were quite good. Who needs Brad Pitt?

- Cool CGI and what not can make a very good movie but my favorite movies are quite devoid of this. So the absence of special tweaks don't spoil a movie but ridiculous effects spells suicide.

- Music. Frankly, when the OST is so good I take notice and might like a movie for that but when it's not so good, it just goes unnoticed. That's why I loved Romeo Must Die.

- Visuals. I take this to be the rendering. Technicolor or whatever. I like B&W films and Sepia but they generally don't matter that much.

- Action. Good action is always good when you're watching an action movie but I won't always been on the lookout for stunts in say, The Apt Pupil. But them Die Hard films, Yeah!

- Romance. Well, since I'm allergic to bullshit, romance has to be in believable doses. If you've seen The Fountain, now that's Romance. Doesn't have to be a princess in love with her exiled step-brother or some other concoction.

Wow I just answered the #1 question. I'll post answers for #2 and #3 presently.

Baby Jinx:

Some Questions to think about . . . Remember THIS IS STRICTLY FOR NOLLYWOOD MOVIES.

1) In movies you really like, what do you think was most important?

The script
Who does the movie star?
The characters
The plot/storyline
Special effects
Music/songs
Visuals (does it look good on the big screen?)
Action
Romance
Suspense
Actually feeling the characters' emotions


2) What do you think spoils movies most?
A bad script
Irritating characters
Poor storyline
Themes that have been done too many times
If it's too long or slow
If it's too short
Noticeable mistakes (continuity, seeing cameras when you shouldn't, etc)
Having to yell `Just kiss him/her!'
Overplayed action/romance scenes
A stupid or radical ending
Being based extremely loosely on a book
Being too predictable
Being too radical

3) Have you stopped watching a movie before the end of it?
Yes
No

4) What is your opinion on movie sequels?
Every movie should have a sequel!
Some sequels are good
No, any sequel is rarely as good as the original
Can nobody think of something original?

Will be awaiting your responses, until then. . . Party on!!!

Excuse me ma, can we give more than one answer to a question?

spikedcylinder:


Excuse me ma, can we give more than one answer to a question?

Yes, Yes. . . you can!



@ Vesc
Oh man, I sure hope you haven't scared the rest of 'em off.

BRB. . . duty calls (yeah, I have duty outside Nairaland, whatchu think?)

Yeah, Just call me the official Pep Squad for the Nollywood Revolution Party. . . okay, why does that sound like a terrorist group or is it just me?

And I know I've opened us up to the "But you are a terrorist. . . against Nollywood group" jokes and responses.

Whatevah!!

Go Team Go

Speaking of go. . .

#2 set of answers. What spoils movies the most. Emphasis on 'most.'

- Bad Script, see above
- Irritating characters
- Poor Storyline
- Poor plot
- Noticeable mistakes
- Being based too loosely on a book
- Being too predictable (same with above and more. But to tell the truth nollywood is gargantuan in its guilt here bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla

I just noticed the "STRICTLY FOR NOLLYWOOD MOVIES" part  

Lemme review my answers

#1, 2. I think you've over rated the industry. There are some questions that simply can't be answered simply cuz they aren't there. For question 1, maybe you should change 'really like' to 'can stomach'

#3. I walk out on most movies not because it pissed me off but because I'm usually stuck on it till something else came up to save me from it.

#4 I truthfully wasn't aware nollywood made stand alone movies?

Are those succinct enough answers for such succinct questions

Ok. Lets see shall we?

1) In movies you really like, what do you think was most important?

The script
Who does the movie star?
The characters
The plot/storyline
Special effects
Music/songs
Visuals (does it look good on the big screen?)
Action
Romance
Suspense
Actually feeling the characters' emotions

A: The scripts. This seems to be an all important factor. No one would go and see a movie with Brad Pitt on a river of gravy being stirred but a q-tip. The script and dialogue is important if it wants to be watched!

The plot/storyline. This includes continuity does it not? Remember my story about Brad and the gravy boat?

The suspense.

And the actual feel of the characters' emotions.

It doesn't really matter who stars in the movie as long as the person can make an attempt to ACT!!! notice the key word being "act" Notice that did you?
There have been hugely successful movies that didn't have out of this world special effects. Tsotsi comes to mind and I can imagine there are several dozen other. Bear in mind that Tsotsi is a South African movie.
The music songs don't really matter. Some OST's are really good but I can imagine that POTC would have been just as good without Hans Zimmer's scores.

2) What do you think spoils movies most?
A bad script
Irritating characters
Poor storyline
Themes that have been done too many times
If it's too long or slow
If it's too short
Noticeable mistakes (continuity, seeing cameras when you shouldn't, etc)
Having to yell `Just kiss him/her!'
Overplayed action/romance scenes
A stupid or radical ending
Being based extremely loosely on a book
Being too predictable
Being too radical

A: Irritating characters!!! Have you seen Emeka Ike crying before? you should check it out, you would really really hate Nollywood, and if you are not a Nigerian, Xenophobia comes to mind.

Themes that have been done too many times e.g "My love is your love", Why you do this to me?" "Loving you is on top", " Love, Oh love", "I love you, you love me, what next?"

A stupid or radical ending. I hope this includes the ones where the pastors come in the end to bind whatever spirit the entire film was based on? No?

All the other options are still slightly pardonable.

3) Have you stopped watching a movie before the end of it?
Yes
No

Yes. Several times.

4) What is your opinion on movie sequels?
Every movie should have a sequel!
Some sequels are good
No, any sequel is rarely as good as the original
Can nobody think of something original?

No, any sequel is rarely as good as the original.


Baby jinx, over to you.

@Spikedcylinder, I think you shouldn't rate Hans that low. I know you didn't mean to but I really love that guy. And now that I know that these Qs were directed at nollywood, I'd say u can classify the 'soundtracks' into shitty, unbelievably shitty, and unfuckingbelievably shitty. One that stuck with was this one "onome, onome, love is yours" It had Olu Jacobs in it.

vescucci:

@Spikedcylinder, I think you shouldn't rate Hans that low. I know you didn't mean to but I really love that guy. And now that I know that these Qs were directed at nollywood, I'd say u can classify the 'soundtracks' into shitty, unbelievably shitty, and unfuckingbelievably shitty. One that stuck with was this one "onome, onome, love is yours" It had Olu Jacobs in it.

No way! I love Hans, I think he's brilliant. My point was : If POTC didn't have Hans' scores, would I still have enjoyed the movie? Absolutely!

Lol! I remember that Onome song.

1) In movies you really like, what do you think was most important?

The script
Who does the movie star?
The characters
The plot/storyline
Special effects
Music/songs
Visuals (does it look good on the big screen?)
Action
Romance
Suspense
Actually feeling the characters' emotions


2) What do you think spoils movies most?
A bad script
Irritating characters
Poor storyline
Themes that have been done too many times
If it's too long or slow
If it's too short
Noticeable mistakes (continuity, seeing cameras when you shouldn't, etc)
Having to yell `Just kiss him/her!'
Overplayed action/romance scenes
A stupid or radical ending
Being based extremely loosely on a book
Being too predictable
Being too radical
In other words all of the above

3) Have you stopped watching a movie before the end of it?
Yes
No
I try not to, but if its a Nollywood movie , sometimes i stop before i even start.

4) What is your opinion on movie sequels?
Every movie should have a sequel!
Some sequels are good e.g. Aliens 2, Terminator 2 (T2), etc
No, any sequel is rarely as good as the original
Can nobody think of something original?


When it actually comes to Nollycrap, everything always points to the negative. By the way did anybody ever see Amazing Grace? i was going to but when i saw The first Nigerian film on 35mm boldly written on the cover of the DVD case, i got pissed and walked away. Was it any good?

@Baby Jinx
I'm drowning still.

Even if they used 70mm, The Amazing Grace was still crap! Save your stars you didn't buy it.

So what if they used film instead of a minicam, or those giant reporter like cameras. It's still bull made on 35mm. That just goes to show u how lowly these people are. The first nigerian film on 35mm. U gotta hand it to them

MEN! I knew i could rely on you guys to tell me the truth unlike some of those crappy articles some nolly lovers wrote. you'd think the movie was nominated for an oscar the way they went on and on about it. They even went as far as saying the movie cost $1,000,000. I tire for naija people o'.

Oh man! I set a trap for our Nollywood lovers but they didn't take the bait. The point of the questionnaire was to see how their criteria for judging a good movie, applies Nollywood movies. It was meant to show 'em we aren't pulling stuff out of our. . . Errrr. . . . from thin air.

Guess they've just stopped paying attention to us. Hehehehe


Vesc, Spikedcylinder and Thirdborn (whom this SISI is about to KILL for still not recognizing her) thanks for responding

And Vesc. . .

[B]Shitty, Unbelievably shitty, and unfuckingbelievably shity[/b]

Rotflmao! What are you trying to do to me here? Seriously!!


Okay, My Take on what makes a good movie. . . .

Entertainment Value: I want to sit down to a movie and forget times exists. I want to be taken for a ride, I want to. . . Aah, just see Mad_Max"s post for this.

Dialogue: Great dialogue makes a movie. When the dialogue starts sounding stilted, then. . .  Nah!

Plot: It's all about KISS here. . . [B]Keep It Simple, Stupid.[/b] Except it is really, really vital, don't try to complicate things.

Pace: Pacing is really, really important. I don't know about you but I have a very short attention span. Move it along, people. . . Nothing to see here.

Acting: Bad acting can sometimes be a pleasure to watch if it is intended to be that kind of movie but bad acting just because the actor is bad. . . Ay yi yi! It can ruin even the best movie.

Loopholes: All stories, except intended from jump, should answer all your questions. When you go "Wait. . . What?" at the end of the movie, them something ain't right.

Special Effects: Bad effects can kill an other wise good movie. Like the white squiggly lines across the screen to show thunder striking someone down. . . Not good.

Less is more: What irks me so much in Nigerian movies is the lack of subtilty, please don't treat us like idiots you need to spell things out to.

Believability: I think this is IMPORTANT. Oh Believability. . . How much I love thee. The other day, I was being held hostage by the Sis, had no choice but to watch a movie called ALL MY LIFE. Heaven please us. . . Omotola and Bimbo as school girls? Omotola asking her husband to get her sister pregnant? Oh come on!

Continuity: if you want to make a sequel please make sure you have exhausted part one before going to part to.

If a movies misses on at least to of the above. . . . It's officially a bad movie.


Okay, okay. . . KISS is really Keep it Short and Simple but I think the AND ruins the effect, that's why I like the other one.

Anyhoo, what next?

Wow, you just about got it all there.

Where the Nolly lovers at?

Thirdborn:

Wow, you just about got it all there.

Where the Nolly lovers at?

Long Sigh

Band leader, this is Sisi. How won't you recognize me now?

I'm sad oooh!! It hurt me, hurt me reach my soul



Anyhoo, this is another cheerleading session to keep our thread at the top. Why they haven't yet made it a sticky is beyond me but hey. . . I ain't sayin' nothin'. I mean it is not your usual Who want to Marry Jim Iyke, He is sooo dreamy Thread but like I said my mouth is zipped. If it's a thread about Omotola's Pimple now, they will put it gbagba on number one but I'm just going to keep


Sooo here I go

Go Go RPT Go Go
Go You Fearless Ones Go
Tell it as it, Yes Do
Nollywood are you shaking
because we are brungin' it on
Yes we are ^{(Gimme a break, I never cheered before)}




[size=5pt]PS
I'm wearing shorts, so you can stop looking now.[/size]

$1,000,000. Wow such mind boggling budget!

I knew it was you Sisi.

@Sisi/Baby jinx
Honestly i thought it was you cos the writing styles and wittiness but then i checked out the number of posts you had up here as Baby Jinx and as Sisikill, they were too much so i just guessed i could be mistaken. Girl! How the hell did you manage to balance it all. I guess i am not as smart as Dr. HOUSE. Anyhow sha glad to know its you, thought you bailed on us.

OK let the REVOLUTION continue.

@Vesc
you don't believe that $1,000,000 crap do you?

dont realli get what y'all are on about now,but from the little i v read about what entails a good movie guess everyone knows what that is,ill rather comment on pro active solutions because that seems to be the problem in my view, nigeria and nigerians have never had a problem with thesis and theories even corrupt senators/politicians speeches runs like a malcolm x/dr king ,ghandi speech ,the will to actually get something done has been the bane so far which i reckon the focus should be on , if thats what this thread is about,

@poster,i support you.Nollywood needs a revolution.All i can say is that nollywood 'Sucks' .

spikedcylinder:

I knew it was you Sisi.

Thanks Jare!!



@ Thirdborn
About time! I said it in every which way I could and you didn't. I was about to commit. . . something but I forgive you, how can I not? It is YOU!

lucabrasi:

don't realli get what y'all are on about now,but from the little i v read about what entails a good movie guess everyone knows what that is,ill rather comment on pro active solutions because that seems to be the problem in my view, nigeria and nigerians have never had a problem with thesis and theories even corrupt senators/politicians speeches runs like a malcolm x/dr king ,ghandi speech ,the will to actually get something done has been the bane so far which i reckon the focus should be on , if thats what this thread is about,

Quite right and we also have people who only pop in on their high horses to tell others what they want to see, do or comment on. . .  yet make no effort to present anything to see, do or comment on.

Imagine that

Guess this is a Thread by Request. . . Everyone put in your order and the Dancing monkeys will serve 'em up!!!!!!!!

meanwhile check out Jerusalema from SA. another Oscar hopeful. beta than Tsotsi

Take a cue nollywood. Maybe there should be a regulation that no more than 12 films should come out within a year. Which nollywood film is oscar worthy. They won't even qualify for Razzies. And about being proactive, I think we're doing the first stage. Letting these people know that they spew out incredibly and utter shite, week in week out. Plus they need to learn what makes a good movie (as they can't even be rated by Sisi's list. It's like not showing up for a test) instead of being smug and ridden with hubris.

either high horse or low donkey,the fact still remains that im t least addressing the poster's thread unless im mistaken of which i stand to be corrected, presumably from my own limited understanding what everyone wants to see is better nollywood productions,what we want to do is pro active and far reaching "revolution"to change the way things are done in nollywood,and what we all want comments on are ways to go abouth this,how and when to go about it in a workable frame, if the thread is not about that then i stand to be corrected, as for "thread by request"and "dancing monkey"all i can say is sounds like good title for our newly revolutionised nollywood

I seriously have a hard time understanding your posts, however  I’ll pretend I do.

For a revolution to happen, we have to get people to see why we need one and by people I mean the Nollywood lovers. If these lovely people stopped seeing Nollywood through rose-colored glasses, maybe just maybe they will be able to stand tall and demand better or else. How can they stop seeing Nollywood through rose colored by reading more than the usual “Nollywood Sucks” threads.

The “dancing monkeys”  are grounded in reality well enough to know 1) We can’t do it alone 2) Who wields the power (the audience) and 3) it would be utterly idiotic to jump into things half cocked. Maybe that works for you,, which is why you want to see action right here, right now and to that I say good for you but diving headlong into matters just because. . . isn't our cup of tea.

and i have a very hard time understanding yours as well as it seems more of sarcasm,loads witty remarks, and i m not even making any pretence that i did cause i dont lie, sorry

well,thanks for taking the time to break it down for me, but judging from this thread and other nollywood threads on this section,i think most people know where nollywood is failing and while people have diffrent approaches to bringing about a revolution,they have proffered different solutions covering the totality of the nollywood malaise.

well,good for the dancing monkeys,but if you care to re -read my comments,i didnt generalise,it was a personal comment and the last i checked everybody was entitled to their opinions,however i wouldnt call well over 2/3 different nollywood threads on here alone with multiple pages/posters all proferring solutions "alone"
by my layman's definition of audience,im cock sure the amount of posters on this thread and others are more than enough sample of nigerians across the board, who are conversant with nollywood

if i understood your last comments well,and i hope im wrong, i hope you r not insinuating that im an idiot??because i seem to think you r asserting that "me presumably jumping into stuffs is idiotic"
please if thats what you meant,i dont want us to go down that route at all so ill humbly advice you to withdraw that verbal barb and refrain from using such, in as much as i have neither directed any statement at you nor have i insulted you, i can give as good as i can take but ill like us to keep this thread as an intellectual discource and personally dont relish insulting peoplexxthanks

as for diving headlong,well its a public forum ,and i made my own comments the way i see it and i have justified them due to others that might later read this,so i dont realli need you to agree with me and im sure neither do you need me to agree with you