I would use this first post to introduce the idea behind my title, "men's point of view" :

This is a simple interactive set of posts where the interested parties (in this case females) would ask question from dating experiences with men and expect to get men's unbiased opinion and replies.

The fun part is the bell sways both ways, as men could try to douse their own curiosities as well, and have the ladies answer those questions they've always had.

Now I expect to get the questions coming soon, who goes first?

Ok. Here's one :

Why would a guy date a girl for 7years (and counting) then "suddenly" realise that she's not "the one"? How the hell do you guys recognise "the one"?

7 years we tend to hold onto time spent as a yard stick rather than to move on, I personally got involved with a once love of my life, the relationship started like a family friend thing, but we ended up growing to be fond of each other and knowing each other well enough for 13 years of our lives, at one point I could not accept anyone could take her place, but things changed, we grew up, I expanded my domain and saw what was obtainable out there.

Love at first sight exists especially if u know what u want. and we could get what we want the type we want, that is there for you if the picture is very clear to you already you would notice her in time.

spikedcylinder:

Ok. Here's one :

Why would a guy date a girl for 7years (and counting) then "suddenly" realise that she's not "the one"? How the hell do you guys recognise "the one"?

Because, we are not God; we change with our characters, and may deviate from what we used to be. She deviated from what she used to be, the guy realised and left her.

mecussey:

Because, we are not God; we change with our characters, and may deviate from what we used to be. She deviated from what she used to be, the guy realised and left her.

Yup. If deviation refers to remaining in the same religion in which she was born (and in which he knew her to practice from the first day) then of course she deviated.

spikedcylinder:

Ok. Here's one :

Why would a guy date a girl for 7years (and counting) then "suddenly" realise that she's not "the one"? How the hell do you guys recognise "the one"?

7yrs is a long time and something must've gone fundamentally wrong to cause a separation. I think the answer to that question lies with both of them, they probably stopped trusting each other in the heat of temptation and jealousy. . . Such relationships are not failed by lack of love, but by lack of trust and severe jealousy - the type that leads to insecurity, which in turn causes too much investigating and snooping, which brings about the desire for space, which can cause constant outbursts and arguments, which leads to frustration and anger, and eventually a need to entertain some peace of mind by being alone.

whitelexi:

7yrs is a long time and something must've gone fundamentally wrong to cause a separation. I think the answer to that question lies with both of them, they probably stopped trusting each other in the heat of temptation and jealousy. . . Such relationships are not failed by lack of love, but by lack of trust and severe jealousy - the type that leads to insecurity, which in turn causes too much investigating and snooping, which brings about the desire for space, which can cause constant outbursts and arguments, which leads to frustration and anger, and eventually a need to entertain some peace of mind by being alone.

Speaking from experience are we?

spikedcylinder:


Speaking from experience are we?

Yes

ok, this topic is enlightening. dont have any question yet but hey, ill listen

@ whitelexi, deep stuff

Here's another:

Why cant a girl love a man that has been very nice and good to her? What does it take to love and be in love with a Guy?

steaming:

Here's another:

Why can't a girl love a man that has been very nice and good to her? What does it take to love and be in love with a Guy?

Not all girls are like this. Having said that, i think some girls already have a rough picture of their dream man. . .  I once met a girl who said her man would bump into her in a supermarket and they would both go on their knees to gather her shopping from the ground, and then she would realise how gorgeous he was and they would go ahead to date and marry. . .  She's still waiting now and all her younger ones are married with kids
When you focus your mind on the dream guy, it can be difficult to notice the best things happening around u. Most times u realise everything when it is too late or when a rude awakening happens to u. That is the answer to your 1st question.

The 2nd question: what does it take to love and be loved?
Simple, mutual respect, mutual trust, mutual love and mutual focus and understanding. If your minds are moving in the same direction, and u understand how your actions impact on your partner, then u have passed the 1st stage.

@spikedcylinder,

Someone once said that long relationships hardly end in marriage. But as for me, I dated my better half for 10 years before we got married. Notwithstanding, I think most long relationships end in disaster because there is no clear understanding between the parties of what they want from the relationship.

A guy may get involve with a lady for a long time because of the good sex the lady gives him. We must realise the fact the sex in itself cannot sustain a relationship for life. You can only get married to your friend, someone u miss when she is not there (not just for sex), someone you can watch talk, someone that stirs something deep within you when you're just looking at her, someone you can spend long time with without getting bored, someone you can do things for or to which ordinarily u will consider absurd were she to be another girl,

@ Steaming,

Although an average girl when asked will tell you she would like a guy that can treat her nice. Notwithstanding, that a guy is nice to you does not mean you have to fall in love with him. This thing call love comes naturally. You cant predetermine who you will fall in love with. Most girls will list qualities they want in their men but may eventually fall for
people without any of those qualities.

I once had a girl that behaved so nice to me. She was so respectfull, kind, trustworthy and committed to the extend my family members wanted me to marry her at all cost but I couldn't cos I did not love her. I found it difficult hurting her but I had to.

The first time I saw my wife, there was a connection and I knew she was my missing rib despite the fact she was 18 and I 22 as at the time.

and it gets more interesting, I am forced to part of my personal relationship but believe me telling more would take the post to another level.

Replying to the question why females dont love the nice guys, well lets look at it this way, right hand washes the left hand better, and it still has to do with impression as this counts a lot.

I agree with the fact that gals already have that man of their dreams in their minds and this dreams would never be a reality after the influences from love stories, love music, and love doctrines play in. This duo i know always work :"Staying true" and "Following your heart". all things being equal the norm is the bad guys get the good gals and vice versal.

I personally was never a nice guy and i had more gals around me when i was very notorious, and now i am stuck with a naive but lovable dame, and she cant believe how its possible to fall for someone like me,

Why are some men so opossed to thier women crying?

Sometimes i just need to cry, i need to weep and just have my man hold me and not say anything, not fix it just allow me to weep. Why are men so opossed to this?

I want to know how we'd reason to this,,.

1. who gives sex, the man or the woman?
2. as a man what is the fulfilling part of love making?
3. why do men think there is no relationship without sex? and its this really true?

sistawoman:

Why are some men so opossed to their women crying?

Sometimes i just need to cry, i need to weep and just have my man hold me and not say anything, not fix it just allow me to weep.  Why are men so opossed to this?

Some men get really really uncomfortable when they see women crying, especially women they love. Others are however unmoved by this.

I want to know what it feels like when men come. Can you describe this feeling?

Do you want to know how you can tell when a man comes or you want to know how men feel at that point?

Okay

how can men have different distinct relationships with different women almost seamlessly, i say this because i've met a couple of men recently that we got on well but i was totally blindsighted when i found out they were in relationships.

arent there telltale signs that one can read so one doesnt make a fool of himself

salsera:

Okay

how can men have different distinct relationships with different women almost seamlessly, i say this because i've met a couple of men recently that we got on well but i was totally blindsighted when i found out they were in relationships.

arent there telltale signs that one can read so one doesnt make a fool of himself

Men are born to multi-task with little or no emotions at all.

@ iykrichie

I want to know how it feels at that point. What the actual feeling feels like.

Guys wats wrong with them making the first move, I think its the most matured way to start off, thought it might look scary what say u?

nalijah07:

I want to know what it feels like when men come. Can you describe this feeling?

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-135266.0.html#msg2275181

@ Sistowoma.

Men could be opposed to their women crying most especially if they cant fathom why she's crying. It could make them feel they are not doing enough and they can't meet her needs. This invariably, could lead to breakdown in self confidence and possibly psychologial complex which makes them suspect that someone else would soon meet the woman's need.

@ Steaming.

Most ladies wouldn't love a man that has been so nice and gentle to them. This they usual see as a sign of weakness unconciously, and trust me, I think they are right. Guys that falls into this kind of category of atittude will eventually become their best pals and confidant but not their "dream man"

Girls like guys that are caring and at the same time principled when it comes to their woman. I believe they want someone who can put them into check when necessary,not some man that will alwys codone their excessives.

@Nalijah07

I can't answer for everyman how they feel after coming but I can surely tell you how Sillyboy feels; After organsm, I get so brainy and thinking (positively) that I can come up with tens of brilliant ideas and solutions to my challnges. I have a more settled and calclative brain after organsm.

And woe befall on a lady I slept with after orgasm if she's someone I dont like slept with due to whatever form of intoxication. And I will be surely ma with myself too

salsera:

Okay

how can men have different distinct relationships with different women almost seamlessly, i say this because i've met a couple of men recently that we got on well but i was totally blindsighted when i found out they were in relationships.

arent there telltale signs that one can read so one doesnt make a fool of himself

men have the capacity to compartmentalise their emotions. Just like a computer hard disk drive you can format drive C: for your long term girlfriend, drive D: for that hot chic you just met and drive E: for the pay-as-you-go women.

When its time to get married you simply reformat your system and delete drives D: and E: if you so wish, and move all other programs to drive C:

M impressed, the brothas are really talking and its so wondaful sseing things from ur view and thanx, d sistas, we are learning

nalijah07:

@ iykrichie

I want to know how it feels at that point. What the actual feeling feels like.

It is not easy to imagine, its like the force of a tornado, the speed of lightning and the roar of thunder, all mixed up into one moment of explosion that is so terribly devastating, it can rip the house apart leaving just the colapsed bed
I think thats a good description.

whitelexi:

It is not easy to imagine, its like the force of a tornado, the speed of lightning and the roar of thunder, all mixed up into one moment of explosion that is so terribly devastating, it can rip the house apart leaving just the colapsed bed
I think thats a good description.

.Not exactly.Its just something slightly less than that for me .The same way a women feels at orgasm!!

Why can't men chase their mates?? Why would a man in his 50s prefer a girl in her teens?? Seriously why

hey guys, i found out what women really want, ,, from us,
i also got to learn how they get to judge, love, hate, and deceit,

i also want to share something, serious, the fact that pounding older ladies is very detrimental to the extent that no amount of favours from them could replenish,,

i want to recreate your souls, but dont be scared, u'd end up being empowered.

but the heed to this final advice, fear women. they are the strongest beings alive. men never think u can beat that.

so guys drive slow, cos i dont know how many of us they tink they can impress by claiming to be what they are not, I smell rat in the air, is either they are out for a mission like they always do, and they would still swear that they are not the devil.