I love you: Should i tell him?"Help! I'm in a relationship with this guy. I love this guy so much and he loves me too. We spend time together and we usually enjoy each other's company. It's been several months now this guy has never proposed to me. His friends told me he's shy. When I told my friends about it, they told me to tell him. Is this proper?" – Anonymous

It takes two to tangle and mingle in a relationship. When it comes to opposite sex relationship, love is usually created based on either feelings, infatuation or on a decision to love. The latter is the surest foundation for a successful love relationship. However, no matter the basis of attraction, a party is bound to set the ball rolling as to making a proposal.

Proposal are usually made when a relationship is to be moved forward, say from friendship to courtship or any relationship heading to marriage. By virtue of creation, it is the sole responsibility of the male folks to initiate a proposal, when the lady agrees based on her interest, she will accept or reject it otherwise. However, recent relationship philosophies now agrees to the fact that a lady can propose to a guy in a relationship if the guy doesn't make any move or seemed to be too shy. I strongly detest this move with the following points:

God Placed Man In The Position To Do So
It was written that a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, they two shall become one flesh (Gen.2:24) Get this right, God did not intend that a woman should initiate the act. Culture or no culture, it is divinely wrong and would bring lot of issues that will be discussed further. It was Adam that described who Eve was to him. It would be so absurd for Eve to ask Adam for proposal.

Loss Of Self-Worth
A piece of gold that is cheaply gotten cannot be appreciated unlike that which was difficult to find. Men love to do the proposal and would do what it takes to get the attention of whom they are interested in. The beauty of a relationship is in the chase – when a woman plays hard to get. If a lady initiates the proposal, he may not resent the offer, but know for a surety that your worth is reduced. He will take you for granted and you'll become so cheap in his custody. Why would you go into a relationship where you'd be treated like a piece of trash?

You Might Be Blamed In The Case Of Any Eventualities In The Future
It is not so uncommon that some marriages were created this way and the finger of blame is usually pointed at the female folks. Some men are fault finders and would not hesitate to recall to you how you lead them into the relationship. To avoid burying your head in shame, it is better to avoid a shameful act.

It Is Culturally Wrong
Before the advent of civilization, it was never read in history that a woman made the move to engage a man in a relationship or maybe it exist that I don’t know. Civilization made some traditions uncivil and it is now becoming a widely accepted trend. It is a degradation of cultural values for a woman to do so, let alone to believe that there's nothing wrong in that. You may feel that there’s nothing wrong it that, but there’s everything wrong in it.

To whom this may concern, none of our parent were ever married this way or started their union in such manner. It is lack of self-worth and esteem that will make a woman think proposing to a man is a solution for his shyness or the best thing to do. If he truly loves you, he will find all avenues to make his intention known to you. I do not accept this kind of invite whether for friendship or for intended couples. The only thing you can do as a woman is to position yourself where the right man can find you. Be nice, groom your content (virtues, innate potentials) rather than give concentration to your appearance alone. Living a routine life is not the solution. Go out and make friends. Praying alone is not the solution but making new friends other than your usual lifestyle. It is better to avoid a shameful act than to bury one’s head in shame.

Do you have contrary views and valid points on this issue? Share them with us!

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