@...You have a Problem and the problem is YOU....

Phema: Few questions please:

1. How old are you?
2. How long have you been married?
3. Have you.sept with your boyfriend since you got married?
4. Do you have any kid yet?

I'm in my early 20s
I've been married for a year plus
Not after d marriage proper only after d introduction
No i don't have any kid yet as i'm so scared of having one so that i don't end up staying in d marriage if i really want to divorce hubby.

On reading the advice here i'm beginning to think of what i have done because my husband don't deserve it, i have really hurt him so bad i use to take contraceptives after se.x so i don't get pregnant

Hubby is worried about me not getting pregnant even wen he is not around n i tell him I'm not feeling fine he will call his friend to take me to the company hospital as he don't want me to drive just incase it turns out to be pregnancy

Thank God i came here i will start retracing my step because my boyfriend is really using me, he just finish uni infact we finished same time n we are both waiting for service, he even wants us to be transferred to same state but hubby didn't agree because he wants me to serve where we live n each time i ask him when he is planning on getting married he will reply me with when i've left my hubby because he is waiting for me n d tin is not yet financially stable.

I've been responsible for some of his basic need even before i got married as in when we where dating so he said he wants us to get married so he can show me love n also take care of me.

The story goes on n on
God please help me

factorian:

I'm in my early 20s
I've been married for a year plus
Not after d marriage proper only after d introduction
No i don't have any kid yet as i'm so scared of having one so that i don't end up staying in d marriage if i really want to divorce hubby.

On reading the advice here i'm beginning to think of what i have done because my husband don't deserve it, i have really hurt him so bad i use to take contraceptives after se.x so i don't get pregnant

Hubby is worried about me not getting pregnant even wen he is not around n i tell him I'm not feeling fine he will call his friend to take me to the company hospital as he don't want me to drive just incase it turns out to be pregnancy :'

Thank God i came here i will start retracing my step because my boyfriend is really using me, he just finish uni infact we finished same time n we are both waiting for service, he even wants us to be transferred to same state but hubby didn't agree because he wants me to serve where we live n each time i ask him when he is planning on getting married he will reply me with when i've left my hubby because he is waiting for me n d tin is not yet financially stable.

I've been responsible for some of his basic need even before i got married as in when we where dating so he said he wants us to get married so he can show me love n also take care of me.

The story goes on n on
God please help me

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm pls think b4 u act, u know what to do

Factorian, I must say at this point that I am glad that you are hiding to good advice on this thread you created. Also, from the don't advice on this thread you can see that Your boyfriend is just using you in all ways possible. Thank God your husband has rejected you both serving together. And please don't believe your boyfriend when he says you should divorce your husband only then would he love you the way you want. For him (boyfriend) to suggest you divorce your husband is enough for you to cut your ties with him.
Questions I would love to ask at this juncture is
How old is your boyfriend? Cos I can tell he is probably between the ages of 21- 23

Factorian, I must say at this point that I am glad that you are hiding to good advice on this thread you created. Also, from the good advice on this thread you can see that Your boyfriend is just using you in all ways possible. Thank God your husband has rejected you both serving together. And please don't believe your boyfriend when he says you should divorce your husband only then would he love you the way you want. For him (boyfriend) to suggest you divorce your husband is enough for you to cut your ties with him.
Questions I would love to ask at this juncture is
How old is your boyfriend? Cos I can tell he is probably between the ages of 21- 23

Out of sight is out of mind..And an idle mind is devil's workshop.


@ OP sweetheart, is it possible to pack your hand luggage and accompany your husband on his offshore trips?? Abi is he a marine?


I'm gonna drop my own prognosis to your dilemma: You're lonely and sex starved and desperately in need of some real love in action and not in monetary form. simples ....

Please consider the bit in red ^^ ndo oh

factorian:

I'm in my early 20s
I've been married for a year plus
Not after d marriage proper only after d introduction
No i don't have any kid yet as i'm so scared of having one so that i don't end up staying in d marriage if i really want to divorce hubby.

On reading the advice here i'm beginning to think of what i have done because my husband don't deserve it, i have really hurt him so bad i use to take contraceptives after se.x so i don't get pregnant

Hubby is worried about me not getting pregnant even wen he is not around n i tell him I'm not feeling fine he will call his friend to take me to the company hospital as he don't want me to drive just incase it turns out to be pregnancy

Thank God i came here i will start retracing my step because my boyfriend is really using me, he just finish uni infact we finished same time n we are both waiting for service, he even wants us to be transferred to same state but hubby didn't agree because he wants me to serve where we live n each time i ask him when he is planning on getting married he will reply me with when i've left my hubby because he is waiting for me n d tin is not yet financially stable.

I've been responsible for some of his basic need even before i got married as in when we where dating so he said he wants us to get married so he can show me love n also take care of me.

The story goes on n on
God please help me

am glad u r still on the thread.

no good is going to come out of this.

u r not the first to experience this, u miss him becos u guys have been together for long

but its over, move on

make a stand. call him and end it. tight ur teeth delete his number,

cry, scream, roll on the floor if u feel like it. mourn the death of dat affair.

wake up next morning, its a start of ur new life, dress up nicely , and do watever u normally do

on a daily basis. call ur hubby, tell him u miss him.

send him texts, jokes, silly pix etc

keep him on ur mind. look forward to his arrival.

in two weeks, u will be wandering why u bothered wit ur ex.

thennnnnnnnn cxarry belle make u see the joy of

motherhood

no be boyfriend mata go dey ur body again.

its hard, yes, but u can do it.

factorian:

I'm in my early 20s
I've been married for a year plus
Not after d marriage proper only after d introduction
No i don't have any kid yet as i'm so scared of having one so that i don't end up staying in d marriage if i really want to divorce hubby.

On reading the advice here i'm beginning to think of what i have done because my husband don't deserve it, i have really hurt him so bad i use to take contraceptives after se.x so i don't get pregnant

Hubby is worried about me not getting pregnant even wen he is not around n i tell him I'm not feeling fine he will call his friend to take me to the company hospital as he don't want me to drive just incase it turns out to be pregnancy

Thank God i came here i will start retracing my step because my boyfriend is really using me, he just finish uni infact we finished same time n we are both waiting for service, he even wants us to be transferred to same state but hubby didn't agree because he wants me to serve where we live n each time i ask him when he is planning on getting married he will reply me with when i've left my hubby because he is waiting for me n d tin is not yet financially stable.

I've been responsible for some of his basic need even before i got married as in when we where dating so he said he wants us to get married so he can show me love n also take care of me.

The story goes on n on
God please help me

Awwwwwwww.........Now I'm touched. its ok Op, cut every relationship with your boyfriend, he is just using you and if you divorce today he won't marry u. Mark my word. How can he say he is waiting for you to divorce your husband ? that guy is out to just destroy you honestly. He is using your money to sustaine himself, he just wants to keep using you. That guy na devil chai.

Hmmmm, Taking contraceptives after love making with your husband? get pregnant for your husband dear, he is your husband.

God will see you through. Pele dear.

This shows many people marry for the wrong reason,and actually don't know what they want.

@OP,
I really pity your poor husband because he does not deserve to be married to a woman like you,in all honesty.
You as a woman should certainly not be married to any one because it appears you are too fickle to understand the meaning of your marriage vows.
You are a wicked woman for the following reasons-
1. You have cheated on your husband with your boyfriend when your husband was away off shore trying to look for money to build your home and make your life comfortable.
2.Your husband shows you unconditional love yet you refuse to reciprocate this love and instead choose to love your boyfriend more.
3.You consume contraceptives in order not to get pregnant for yout husband,so that you will not have children that will tie you to your marriage and your husband.
4. Your husband on the other hand does not know what you are up yo and continurs to show you love and care tjinking you might be pregnant.
5. You arr contemplating divorcing your husband and moving in with your boyfriend.
6. You are even so callous to discuss intimate matrimonial matters concerning your husband with your boyfriend.
7.Your husband has instructed you to stop communication with your boyfriend but you have stubbornly refused to obey him.
8. You are planning to join your boyfriend in conducting NYSC in the same state/town in order to continue your dance of adultry/shame.
OP,can you see your life and why you do not deserve to be married to anybody let alonr a nice man like your husband?
Please confess your infidelity to the poor man and set him free immediately. You do not deserve him in any way.
Finally I've got news for you-the day you divorce your husband is the day you will find out your boyfriend does not have an iota of love for you. You are just his piece on the side. A piece of meat he chews on the side because there is no responsibility involved. You give him money and cheap sex when he needs it and of course if you get pregnant your husband is a convenient fall guy. Your boyfriend is having the time of his life banging you while you should think carefully and tell yourself if you are having the time of your life?
Phew!!!Am done with you.

factorian:
The story goes on n on
God please help me

Then let the story end.

I hope you learn to love your husband.

I am curious why did you marry your husband??

factorian:
I'm in my early 20s
I've been married for a year plus
Not after d marriage proper only after d introduction
No i don't have any kid yet as i'm so scared of having one so that i don't end up staying in d marriage if i really want to divorce hubby.

At first, I wanted to give you serious scolding and tongue lashing, but now, I'm just going to beg you and advice you.

I see you're quite young and not yet intune with the real world, so you are bound to see things with little depth.

Hear this and hear it clearly; your so called boyfriend does not mean well for you. He will NOT marry you when you leave your hubby and only then will you see his true color. A man that really means well for you will not want to interfere with your marital life in any way. The moment you are married, they respect your decision and the sanctity of marriage and move on with their lives. He is only still forming in love because you are giving him your attention and money. Withdraw these and you see him move on like you never existed.

You are married to a good man. And I tell you, good men don't come easily. Donot let him regret treating you well. When a man realises his love is taken forgranted, you will not like what he will turn into. If you lose your husband, you might never get someone who will love you like he does. When it comes to choosing a life partner, you have only one chance to get it right, if you screw it up, you're up for a very rough ride.

Another contributory factor is the fact that you are less busy and lonely. What is your husband's schedule like? Is it two weeks on, two weeks off? If it is, then that aint too bad. You can occupy yourself with other things the two weeks he will not be around. It is better to have quality two weeks with your husband than to have an always-around-but-emotionally-unavailable kinda man.

Boyfy wants you to come serve with him?? Ask youself, if this man respects you, your hubby and your home, will he have the guts and effontory to utter such? How does he expect you to leave your husband and go with him? Even NYSC understands the need for a couple to be together, reason they automatically post married women to their husbands' states of residence. He has no iota of respect for the institution called marriage! Is that the kind of man you want to leave your darling husband for?

You let him emotionally blackmail you and that is why he's able to outrightly disrespect you. Why are you sending money to him? As what? For what? So, you take money from hubby, only to use it to fund your boyfriend's needs? Girl, sit down for a moment and ask yourself what you really want.

Look around the family session and see women complaining about their husbands. Even some comments from men on here will make you realise that good men have become quite few. For some of us that are lucky to have them as husbands, we should always appreciate them and don't ever make them regret treating us the way they do.

A bird in hand. . . Goodluck!

An obviously bad wife who is chasing after her ex, but see the way she has been showered will love Its at times like this I envy women

You are nothing but shame to the marriage institution. Why go into it when you dont know what marraige is all about? Thunder fire you and that your stupid boyfriend for playing on the intelligence of a good man. save us the crap about the love and understanding between you and your
boyfriend. If he loves you, he would have married you and if you really love, you would have waited for him regardless what your family say.
you dont deserve any ounce of sympathy here. you deserve to be kidnapped by BOKO-HORAM.


Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew

Lmao

This is what happens when a man thinks he can use money to marry off a juvenile. it's obvious your family made you marry for money and not for love. Your husband does not deserve such treatment. If this is true. You have to sit and think very well and make up your mind to love your husband. start by cutting off all forms of communication with that your bf,tell him never to come to your house again. the time you spent with that your bf should be spent chatting with your husband on bbm and skype. Afterall, the money he goes out to make is for the security of both of you and your unborn children. please channel your love and time to your husband.don't leave certainty for uncertainty. As per sex and romance, make the best of your time whenever your husband is around and when he's offshore, you both can make time out through the social media.please stop that contraceptive use.God bless

@OP,
As a woman and a mother of a teen aged girl I am highly disappointef in your total,complete and serial refusal to respect your marriage vows because of sex.
I hope and pray you will repent and retrace your foot steps before it is too late and you completely ruin your matrimony with a nice,caring lovely man.

TheMadame: @OP,
As a woman and a mother of a teen aged girl I am highly disappointef in your total,complete and serial refusal to respect your marriage vows because of sex.
I hope and pray you will repent and retrace your foot steps before it is too late and you completely ruin your matrimony with a nice,caring lovely man.

@themadame,
As much as I respect you ma, my question is ,if the situation was juxtaposed and this OP was a man would the women on this thread handle the OP with kid gloves and call him sweet heart as some women have done on this thread?

Dantedasz:

@themadame,
As much as I respect you ma, my question is ,if the situation was juxtaposed and this OP was a man would the women on this thread handle the OP with kid gloves and call him sweet heart as some women have done on this thread?

@Dante,
As much as I repect you sir, I have not seen one sjngle woman on this thread support this OP.
People should be criticised whether male or female if they have misbehaved and I am sure and hope this OP has retraced her steps before it is too late.

TheMadame:

@Dante,
As much as I repect you sir, I have not seen one sjngle woman on this thread support this OP.
People should be criticised whether male or female if they have misbehaved and I am sure and hope this OP has retraced her steps before it is too late.

From experience,women would come down like a ton of bricks on any man who wrote what this silly OP Wrote .
As for the OP retracing her footsteps,lets stop deceiving ourselves. This OP will never repent till she treads the road to perdition.
Right now she is to busy enjoying the big black Anaconda in her boy friends pants.

Oh ooh ooh ooh...these hoes aint loyal. OP, do what you want to do jare, life is too short. You deserve to be happy too. We all make mistakes, now that you've realised yours, it's time to retrace your steps and go after your true love. Hehehe.

Dantedasz:

@themadame,
As much as I respect you ma, my question is ,if the situation was juxtaposed and this OP was a man would the women on this thread handle the OP with kid gloves and call him sweet heart as some women have done on this thread?

It's really not about how hard or soft the women on this thread are on OP, that is certainly not the issue here. I am yet to see any post on here supporting what this lady is doing. Please let's not derail the thread.

@ Factorian, I believe by now you already know what to do, simply do it please....yes, kick that boyfriend to the kerb. You are lucky sef that you are getting an opportunity to retrace your steps before it becomes too late. Please, also work on yourself. Life is not about you and your feelings alone. There comes a time you make a life changing decision, eg this marriage, and things just can no longer follow the old order you are used to. With marriage comes responsibilities and lots more. Please begin to take your marriage vows more seriously. Start by knocking out of your head the notion of divorcing your husband, cos I tell you, If you continue along this destructive path, it's a matter of time before your thoughts will become your reality. I'm not sure it's a reality you would enjoy. You've gotten good advice here, please heed them. Again, try and occupy yourself with something, a hobby, etc. Remember the adage, an idle mind is the devil's workshop. I pray that you receive grace to do the right thing. It is well with you.

Dantedasz:
From experience,women would come down like a ton of bricks on any man who wrote what this silly OP Wrote .
As for the OP retracing her footsteps,lets stop deceiving ourselves. This OP will never repent till she treads the road to perdition.
Right now she is to busy enjoying the big black Anaconda in her boy friends pants.

I'm starting to think the tsunami did more than sending NL back in space.
seems like there's been a re-birth, not sure if it's good or bad though
I'm surprised people are actually PLEADING with op to remain with the man she marriedm

I see you have so much rubbish your husband infront of your so called boyfrnd that he dosnt respect you or your marriage institution. How can that silly boy probably btw the age of (22-26) tell you to work your service so you guys can be together.hmmm very funny

bebe2:

am glad u r still on the thread.

no good is going to come out of this.

u r not the first to experience this, u miss him becos u guys have been together for long

but its over, move on

make a stand. call him and end it. tight ur teeth delete his number,

cry, scream, roll on the floor if u feel like it. mourn the death of dat affair.

wake up next morning, its a start of ur new life, dress up nicely , and do watever u normally do

on a daily basis. call ur hubby, tell him u miss him.

send him texts, jokes, silly pix etc

keep him on ur mind. look forward to his arrival.

in two weeks, u will be wandering why u bothered wit ur ex.

thennnnnnnnn cxarry belle make u see the joy of

motherhood

no be boyfriend mata go dey ur body again.

its hard, yes, but u can do it.

most importantly, do the bolded

See begging on top purveyor of married punny...

Abegiii... make d guy dey enjoy dey gooooooooooooooo

carry goooooooooooooooooo

If I were your husband and I knew you were cheating on me I would divorce you on the spot and encourage you to go to your boyfriend. You would also have to pack your things and not expect 1 kobo from me

pickabeau1: See begging on top purveyor of married punny...

Abegiii... make d guy dey enjoy dey gooooooooooooooo

carry goooooooooooooooooo

How are you and yours?

Bros.. I gentle ooo

We thnk God

I just dey enjoy tori for NL...

My regards to your family also

bellong:

How are you and yours?

So I endeared OP a little like a big sister would do and Dante dey get hot under the collar??
Is she naive, gullible and stupid?, YES. So now what? Throw her into lagoon or better in fireplace and end it all, so onlookers will know how holy and perfect we are??

Whether you like it or not, she still remains the vulnerable one all of this mess.
When emotional need is deprived in any marriage, situation like this is expected. So what's all the bruhaha all about??

Again.. OP sweetheart , Sit down with your husband, you both should talk and renegotiate his work schedule.
"Faith without works is doggone dead"



Where's COOGAR?? I miss him.

pickabeau1: Bros.. I gentle ooo

We thnk God

I just dey enjoy tori for NL...

My regards to your family also

Thanks.... Enjoy

Ewuro1: So I endeared OP a little like a big sister would do and Dante dey get hot under the collar??
Is she naive, gullible and stupid?, YES. So now what? Throw her into lagoon or better in fireplace and end it all, so onlookers will know how holy and perfect we are??

Whether you like it or not, she still remains the vulnerable one all of this mess.
When emotional need is deprived in any marriage, situation like this is expected. So what's all the bruhaha all about??

Again.. OP sweetheart , Sit down with your husband, you both should talk and renegotiate his work schedule.
"Faith without works is doggone dead"



Where's COOGAR?? I miss him.

I have to say mama is becoming more gentle and nicer these days

as for that boy coogar, he's been grounded in my room, no internet for him for the next 1 month


Pick-a-boo-boo, welcome back