greatgod2012: An insecured man is is an insecured man, they find questions for every of your action, e.g ....why did you greet him too much?.....how did you know his house?....what were you two discussing?........how did he know your name and did you know his?.......why did the greeting get long like that?...........i saw your looks when you were exchanging greeting, why was he looking at you like that and why did you smile when he was looking at you........why did you hug him?.......why did you give him our address?.........who was there when you two were discussing?...........how did you meet him?....... and all other naughty and brainless questions.
They are very dangerous to get along with.....so because i'm married now, i can't hug my male friends, who automatically becomes my hubby's friends once we are pronounced husband and wife, i can't hug my brothers, my colleagues, na wa, thank you Lord for the type of my hubby.
Some women are in prison thinking they are in marriage......ish....each to his own o.......if your man says you should not hug even your mum, please, do not o.
Abegi!

Tell them oo

I remember when I was introduced to a culture where men kiss each other on the face as a form of greeting I started screaming gaaaay gaaaay but I don't mind . Until my lovely Muslim friend corrected me. She said just because two men put their faces so close together does not mean that they have any sexual intentions. I totally agreed with that statement and refrained from further gay chants.

Op I think it depends on the ethnicity. Obviously this must be an issue because she is African maybe? Well if she has noticed her husband hates it perhaps she should try and compromise.

Truckpusher: Must you be hugged?

Your hand dun break abi?

Make una continue with una hugging ,but tell your fellow huggamaniacs to do us a favor and tell us who they are and not all that pretense to have a regular shirt come begin form tiger.

If y'all are complaining about a hug, who's to say a handshake won't become a problem?

Except there's something you are not telling us, your junior stands at attention whenever you hug someone perhaps?

imas: you can try this one, your husband or wife no go vex.

Na hug be dis or judo, taekwando or freestyle wrestling.

vicchi12:

I bet you feel smarter after making that statement, how dumb! Now let me put it to you, believe me when I say that your people need more hugs.. Desperately! Do you know how many madness it will cure? Instead of adopting the ills of other cultures, why not adopt the good ones? Hugging is intimate! It has the power to heal; it produces oxytocin, which is very good for the body. A great deal of Nigerians need some oxytocin running through their body to cure their madness; caused by the daily struggle, politics, and so on. Hugs are NOT just meant to be something between man n wife. No just something to be sexualized by people who are greedy with everything! It's a way of showing SYMPATHy( I bet a lot of y'all don't know the meaning). A hug demonstrates emotional warmth. What's the evil in a married woman sharing this affection? Go look at the lives of people with the culture of Hugging, and compare it to the lives of your people..very huge difference. People who hug others are happy people. Life is not about sexualizing everything. Life is not just about taking, it's also about giving! So don't serve your bullshiit. Every person I. Their right mind, know the difference between sex and a hug, again spare me that non sense...stop trying to score cheap points with such a stupid and heinous argument. With all due respect, go back to your cave or shape up!

U are absolutely right,Miss. But an average Nigerian won't see it that way because wat comes to his/her mind is intimacy.. That's d reason y majority of them give side huggings which is only popular in this part of d world...

Dcmg: You know what,women are the most insecure but yet they will always want to prove they av a point when its comes to matters like this.
Its ok for a married woman to hug another man abi?But when your husband gives a mere attention to another lady,they come back to cry foul.Smh.
As for me,i dnt care if you hug anybody or not,but when i do mine and you show Jealousy and start stalking me with stewpid questions,i will just end the relationship there.
Women,they will always want to eat their cake and have it too.

You've said it all. Thumbs up.

Okay this totally depends on the person in question and the hug. If the person is like a family member or some really close family friend its allowed to hug em but the hug must have space between and must be very brief. .

freecocoa: If y'all are complaining about a hug, who's to say a handshake won't become a problem?

Except there's something you are not telling us, your junior starts at attention whenever you hug someone perhaps?

My junior doesn't stand up because someone hugged me ,and I never said hugging people is bad but I said that people that do not want their wives and girl friends to be hugged should be respected ,simple. Labeling people with different ideology as a backward, uncivilized people goes a long way in telling about the negative mindset of these end time huggers 'if any word like that exists in the dictionary .

I need a hug sef.......

imas: you can try this one, your husband or wife no go vex.

lmao! See their yansh.

datalossvictim1: I remember when I was introduced to a culture where men kiss each other on the face as a form of greeting I started screaming gaaaay gaaaay but I don't mind . Until my lovely Muslim friend corrected me. She said just because two men put their faces so close together does not mean that they have any sexual intentions. I totally agreed with that statement and refrained from further gay chants.

Op I think it depends on the ethnicity. Obviously this must be an issue because she is African maybe? Well if she has noticed her husband hates it perhaps she should try and compromise.

Thank you my sister.

Every successful relationship and marriage has to do with a lot of compromise,sacrifice and tolerance from both party and each person's emotion should be respected and taken into consideration.As for those things that won't kill us if we stop doing it ,then avoid doing it at all cost.

The problem with these Huggists ,is that they want to have a good relationship and get away with the rigors of living with someone else that may not see things your own way and that alone is SELFISHNESS on their part.

vicchi12:

I bet you feel smarter after making that statement, how dumb! Now let me put it to you, believe me when I say that your people need more hugs.. Desperately! Do you know how many madness it will cure? Instead of adopting the ills of other cultures, why not adopt the good ones? Hugging is intimate! It has the power to heal; it produces oxytocin, which is very good for the body. A great deal of Nigerians need some oxytocin running through their body to cure their madness; caused by the daily struggle, politics, and so on. Hugs are NOT just meant to be something between man n wife. No just something to be sexualized by people who are greedy with everything! It's a way of showing SYMPATHy( I bet a lot of y'all don't know the meaning). A hug demonstrates emotional warmth. What's the evil in a married woman sharing this affection? Go look at the lives of people with the culture of Hugging, and compare it to the lives of your people..very huge difference. People who hug others are happy people. Life is not about sexualizing everything. Life is not just about taking, it's also about giving! So don't serve your bullshiit. Every person I. Their right mind, know the difference between sex and a hug, again spare me that non sense...stop trying to score cheap points with such a stupid and heinous argument. With all due respect, go back to your cave or shape up!

you maybe be right but oxytocin also makes people horney hence its better to avoid hugging people wife /husband.
Meanwhile since you know majority of african men (and women too) frown against it why dont you respet the man that married you and stay away from such act , a simple hand shake is enough to greet any man that is not your husband and im sure the man wont be expecting more than a handshake .

Truckpusher: My junior doesn't stand up because someone hugged me ,and I never said hugging people is bad but I said that people that do not want their wives and girl friends to be hugged should be respected ,simple. Labeling people with different ideology as a backward, uncivilized people goes a long in telling about the negative mindset of these end time huggers 'if any word like that exists in the dictionary .

I need a hug sef.......

You don't get it do you? Just as there are people who don't want their wives/girlfriends hugged, so are there people who consider a handshake infidelity, this is what greatGod2012 was trying to say, I mean there's always a boundary not to be crossed but a hug? Now c'mon...

I wish I could help with the hug but I don't want to be labeled immoral.

kobonaire: Yes oh ..... especially the ones with big bosoms. There is one that is always giving me hugs when i visit them in their town. It is my friend's wife and i knew both of them from school together. Her bosoms are ginormous (which explains why her kids are fat and bouncy from all that milk). Anyway I am a little bit "charged" anytime i receive hugs from her ... wetin man pikin go do .... body no be firewood oh

Thank you for confessing the way you feel when you hug women with big "manchester united". i feel the same way too, thats why I like hugging them, married or not.

vicchi12:

I bet you feel smarter after making that statement, how dumb! Now let me put it to you, believe me when I say that your people need more hugs.. Desperately! Do you know how many madness it will cure? Instead of adopting the ills of other cultures, why not adopt the good ones? Hugging is intimate! It has the power to heal; it produces oxytocin, which is very good for the body. A great deal of Nigerians need some oxytocin running through their body to cure their madness; caused by the daily struggle, politics, and so on. Hugs are NOT just meant to be something between man n wife. No just something to be sexualized by people who are greedy with everything! It's a way of showing SYMPATHy( I bet a lot of y'all don't know the meaning). A hug demonstrates emotional warmth. What's the evil in a married woman sharing this affection? Go look at the lives of people with the culture of Hugging, and compare it to the lives of your people..very huge difference. People who hug others are happy people. Life is not about sexualizing everything. Life is not just about taking, it's also about giving! So don't serve your bullshiit. Every person I. Their right mind, know the difference between sex and a hug, again spare me that non sense...stop trying to score cheap points with such a stupid and heinous argument. With all due respect, go back to your cave or shape up!

Accepted. But what you guys fail to realise is that perception plays a big role in life. Doing things simply because of how you feel is just plain dumb and selfish. How and what society says is important. It is okay in the society you live in (I assume the west) because sex is viewed liberally. Family institutions are looser so people seek care, love and intimacy on the streets. Here in Nigeria the family is viewed as 'self contained'. We don't expect people to 'seek affections' outside the home.

My take on this is simple. Be considerate for others. Your partner, your family and society. Moderation is key. Always be on the side of caution. Think widely. For instance if you are going to hug let it be a person your husband or wife is even closer to. And consider this, when you do things in public you are also staking your partners respect and dignity among his or her friends, colleagues, subordinates, elders, etc. Just don't be selfish. Think before you act.

freecocoa: You don't get it do you? Just as there are people who don't want their wives/girlfriends hugged, so are there people who consider a handshake infidelity, this is what greatGod2012 was trying to say, I mean there's always a boundary not to be crossed but a hug? Now c'mon...

I wish I could help with the hug but I don't want to be labeled immoral.

That wasn't what she was trying to say in her first comment.

She was insinuating that women that wouldn't hug and be hugged because their husbands frowns at it are somehow in a prison,she then went on about praising her husband for giving her those freewill that some women do not have and I simply pointed out to her that she might be living in this fantasy of having a perfect hubby but the truth is the society might find it disturbing that every now and then she always hugging people and finding it a bit strange which will result to calling the hubby names upon names ...and this whole thing was a joke anyway

It was just an innocent comment ,trying to let her know that these women aren't in any form of prison like she was trying to paint , but living happily with their husbands to enable her dismount from her high horses, because I do not want such ideologies to be copied by the youngsters in this forum because the real world of Nigeria isn't like Nairaland......I find it so disturbing when mature ladies come here to sell dangerous ideologies that'll throw the society into chaos tomorrow.

If she gets pregnant for the guy because she hugged him, then its definitely wrong

Mondisweets: If she gets pregnant for the guy because she hugged him, then its definitely wrong

Did you smoke that shiit again?

You cracked me up so bad

Truckpusher: Did you smoke that shiit again?

You cracked me up so bad

please i received the holy ghost in church today, dont corrupt me

Mondisweets: please i received the holy ghost in church today, dont corrupt me

Corrupting you is like trying to corrupt a PDP public office holder

Truckpusher: Corrupting you is like trying to corrupt a PDP public office holder

i will sprinkle my holy water on you

Truckpusher: And don't you think that since our minds are filthy ,that the surest way not to wake up a sleeping demon is step back five by five?


What would hugging somebody's wife add to your CV?

What's wrong with normal pleasantries and greetings?

Must you hug her ,are you a boar constrictor?

Personally I do not play Mr nice towards people's girl friend no matter how close and I also do not want anyone playing Mr nice guy towards my wife or girl friend,there is boundary that must be respected.

There was this lady that works in bank and from what I heard she is a nice and playful person and on this very good day the husband decided to see her around as he was passing through that way only to be greeted with the most offensive of all jokes.Before his very eyes a male banker walked passed his wife and tapped her on the bum and she just reacted as if it was normal and she wasn't aware that her hubby was just from a distance watching the whole scenario though she wasn't cheating but that marriage headed straight for the rocks .because the question was ,what on earth would give the guy that mind to do that? and again has he been doing it ?NO, but that fateful day it was an expensive joke at the wrong time with the wrong guy watching from a distance.

Many men mistook over familiarity for sexual advances and you can never say how your over familiarity can cause a lots of damages especially if your married and this same thing goes for the men too.

Exactly. The marraige ended not because of the relationship between the woman and her co-workers but because of the relationship between the husband and the wife's colleagues. She brought her husband into disrepute. This is a factor most people fail to realise. When women dress stupidly or men act brainlessly they donot quantify how much they 'cheapen' their relations and devalue their relationships.

If you cheapen yourself you are sending a message that in your home anything goes and of course anything is welcome.

Is it a hug people are analysing and taking seriously like this?? A hug?

Are we talking about running into an old friend and hugging him/her? Or do people just wake up in the morning and start hugging every opposite sex they see including neighbours?

If a spouse (man or woman) is insecure about a hug (assuming it's between "innocent" friends), then that person does not have any business getting married.

Even the bible said: Greet one another with a holy kiss (2 Corinthians 13:12). And the so called people condemning a hug are Christians ooooo. That is how hypocritical we humans are.

I will rather be insecure when I'm out with my hubby and we run into a good old female friend and they don't hug. That tells me they might just have something they are trying so hard to hide. But that is just me.

To each his own.

Why not? Dose someone hugging my my Wife, gave him right to take away my Wife? Look if your Wife allowed another Man to trespass, then for me, it means She is enjoying it.

Truckpusher: That wasn't what she was trying to say in her first comment.

She was insinuating that women that wouldn't hug and be hugged because their husbands frowns at it are somehow in a prison,she then went on about praising her husband for giving her those freewill that some women do not have and I simply pointed out to her that she might be living in this fantasy of having a perfect hubby but the truth is the society might find it disturbing that every now and then she always hugging people and finding it a bit strange which will result to calling the hubby names upon names ...and this whole thing was a joke anyway

It was just an innocent comment ,trying to let her know that these women aren't in any form of prison like she was trying to paint , but living happily with their husbands to enable her dismount from her high horses, because I do not want such ideologies to be copied by the youngsters in this forum because the real world of Nigeria isn't like Nairaland......I find it so disturbing when mature ladies come here to sell dangerous ideologies that'll throw the society into chaos tomorrow.

My dear, I meant nothing by mentioning her, I didn't even notice whatever it was between the both of you on this thread, having said that, I still maintain that she was in the right direction despite the bragging(most women love to anyways), the point she's trying to make is that only insecure men would make a fuss about a hug(with the exception of those with reasons to suspect their partners before the hug).

You don't want to address the issue I raised about the ones who complain about handshake, the way he looked at you, the way you smiled at him etc. Now if you say one shouldn't see it as uncivilized when men complain about these things, just what should we see it as?

One should know where to draw the lines, haba.

Wow.. , one of the many reasons i luv and missed nairaland when they went offline, the funny comments and pictures:-)

There is this Slovak woman in my neighborhood who has almost killed me with hugging. She is married just as I am. She hugs my boy, kisses him, and then turns to do same to me. Of course I embrace her. I thought it is the oyibo way of life and I am behaving like a Roman since I am in my own Rome...

Truckpusher: Like you rightly said in your last paragraph.....'' each to his own o''......I know women that'll skin their husband alive if they give attention to another woman no matter how innocent it is.At least Obama's wife demonstrated to the whole world how insecure women can be ,but you and your NL warriors will always paint almost any reaction from every man as being insecure but lemme also remind you that some people are plainly jealous and not insecure at all.

Finally, while you're thanking God for your kind of hubby, His fellow men and the neighborhood will always know that you're the man and him the woman.

This is a pile of bull. How and where did Mrs Obama demonstrate to the world how insecure women can be? If you are even referring to the photos from Mandela's funeral then you are a first rate sensationalist.

Jealousy is not more noble than insecurity. In fact they are interlinked, one arising from the other, both of them equally undesirable so it is quite ludicrous when you attempt to exult jealousy.

Again your post is just absolute bull, it's devoid of any solid points and drips with spite.

Law prince:

Don't derail. The thread here is more about the morality of the act, and stop quoting some feminist theories.
From my moral perspective, Only a moral bankrupt person hugs an opposite sex who isn't a relation, Coz hugging is a form of intimacy. What happens to a respectful handshake? The world has really gone skoin skoin... Abnormalities now norms.

You are a wise man....kudos

irun-obo:
WHEN EVER I HUG MEN, MY NIPPPLE STANDS AND I GET WET

I keep doubting ur gender and societal ethics considering that offensive pix on ur profile. The profile pix alone is an indication that u not a human with good and Godly morals. To further support my point, ur post above confirms it all. Change ur ways for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. Will u like to perish in hell fire?

Excelboi: Very very wrong if you ask me. A mere hand shake should suffice. I'm sure those who support me on that will like this comment. Thank you

Very true. Even me , I find It very uncomfortable hugging men.. My fiance is ok for me 2 hug.... Handshake sef, na wit my fingers, cos some men can be very naughty wi hugs and full handshakes.. Then how much more, when am married? I will simply wave, hi .. Shikena!

greatgod2012: An insecured man is is an insecured man, they find questions for every of your action, e.g ....why did you greet him too much?.....how did you know his house?....what were you two discussing?........how did he know your name and did you know his?.......why did the greeting get long like that?...........i saw your looks when you were exchanging greeting, why was he looking at you like that and why did you smile when he was looking at you........why did you hug him?.......why did you give him our address?.........who was there when you two were discussing?...........how did you meet him?....... and all other naughty and brainless questions.
They are very dangerous to get along with.....so because i'm married now, i can't hug my male friends, who automatically becomes my hubby's friends once we are pronounced husband and wife, i can't hug my brothers, my colleagues, na wa, thank you Lord for the type of my hubby.
Some women are in prison thinking they are in marriage......ish....each to his own o.......if your man says you should not hug even your mum, please, do not o.
Abegi!

i wonder what you mean by 'an insecure man' i tell you a man could never be too secure or secured enough! we have seen millions of cases where the richest of men, the finest of men, the strongest of men, the tallest of men, the most endowed of men, got to find their wives cheating. so how could a man be secure? why should a man be secure?