laplace12: Op go back and organise that post If you want me to read it.

I think say na only me waka com. This is one the type of lecturers we have in some higher institutions

jahbiz: I think say na only me waka com. This is one the type of lecturers we have in some higher institutions

Lol, you Funny, but how come some people Understand it, the only issue here is Arrangement.

Odilafta: Abeg who help me see Okoro

. Metcheeew! Okoro don go Market!

Kanwulia: Ha!
Were they ever emotionally-involved? Nor be KNACK AM-KNACK AM dem take born all of we for Africa?

I have NEVER met an emotionally-involved African man o.

Even the BI-HOMOS!

Last time I was emotionally involved stabbed, broken, damaged, smashed, regarded as sissy, a weakling, not man enough and killed.. like a phoenix I rose from the ash without my old looks.

Can't waste my time reading this epistle,is too long; i'm okay with the headline. Thanks

Why do I keep hearing post is too long? How long does it take to watch a movie or play one round of play station? Knowledge is hidden in write ups like this and we should exercise the patience to finish reading please. Just my simple advice.

I know some plenty emotionally available guys. So Op that your post is not the genral rule.


2) Sometimes guys become withdrawn because it was lust to begin with.
They've gotten what they wanted and it's time to hit the road.

This write-up is fowl scratch! To whoever wants to read it, I say: happy goat-time

Odilafta: Abeg who help me see Okoro

He dey inside ur pocket

Well, I don't see what people are complaining about. I read it all and it does make sense. While it explains many scenarios (like why women are better at expressing and detecting emotions, and why many ladies feel ignored in their relationships), it doesn't apply to some, and the op wasn't even gracious enough to complete it.

cococandy: I know some plenty emotionally available guys. So Op that your post is not the genral rule.


2) Sometimes guys become withdrawn because it was lust to begin with.
They've gotten what they wanted and it's time to hit the road.

You are right in a way, also Note this write up is for a real man, not players.

Men are more Emotional than women especially at initial stages it's a fact and Almost a General case for a real man, Not a player.
The issue of Lust Is different, like you said, the writers view is about initial stages of a relationship.

Oahray: Well, I don't see what people are complaining about. I read it all and it does make sense. While it explains many scenarios (like why women are better at expressing and detecting emotions, and why many ladies feel ignored in their relationships), it doesn't apply to some, and the op wasn't even gracious enough to complete it.

Thanks for being Objective,

See the last part of the write up Below

You have Also highlighted a Point, where a Lady will will feel ignored, Not actually Understanding what the guy is passing Through. The guy according to the writer is not Ignoring the Lady, but withdrawing to fix his Emotions.

During this Period, if the Lady is Not nurturing and fill up the gap, the relationship breaks away.
The writer also highlighted that the man during this people is usually mocked and being addressed as weak as seem

2sExy1: Last time I was emotionally involved stabbed, broken, damaged, smashed, regarded as sissy, a weakling, not man enough and killed.. like a phoenix I rose from the ash without my old looks.

Women set the example and emotional tone that allows their partner to feel safe.

When a man faces a woman who is emotionally stable, it allows him to understand his own emotions. The depth of understanding that the woman has with herself and her own emotional nature will give him the security to express and unveil his own strengths. The woman who is emotionally secure brings a presence of emotional security to the relationship.
A well meaning man will appreciate this and do his best, and grow faster and reveal the depths of his spirit with increasing strength and confidence.
Granted, the ideal is that a man can figure out his emotional state and come into his own emotional maturity through his own self-generated willpower.

Yet the reality is that teachers, guides and mentors accelerate this process and help a person navigate the confusing and mysterious realms of emotions. There are a great many pitfalls and bewildering mirages when it comes to the shifting sands of sensitivities. And as man learns his emotional state, he is also facing the additional challenges from his friends, family, and world that challenges that awakening at every step.

The woman who is insecure with her own emotions will see a man who withdraws as a threat and denigrate him and go on the attack. This is the antithesis of supportive behavior. She may not realize that he is a man who is brave beyond measure to face his own soul and bare his spirit with vulnerable trust. When a man doesn’t respond as she needs and demands at the emotional level, lashing out will only cause harm. Gentle understanding and compassionate acceptance brings healing and deepens the relationship.

One of the best qualities women have is the ability to nurture. Nurturing is not aggressive. And with a man, directing aggression at him will generate an aggressive response. He will either fight or run. The flight or fight response is deeply ingrained into every human being. In essence, attacking a man who is opening his heart will trigger a survival level instinct.

Once that survival level power fully awakens in relationship, the dynamics in the relationship changes and may never come back to equilibrium.

Nurturing is not forceful, instead it is accepting and allows for a natural growth curve. Be patient.

Just as a tree takes time to come into its fullness and blossom, a man who is learning to embrace his deeper truths will need time to fully ripen into his potential.

Appreciate the men who take the time to stand up against society to discover, feel, live and unleash their sensitive side. It takes a lion’s heart full of courage to face down societal expectations and programmed beliefs.

Give him gratitude, honor his spirit, thank him for being available with his sensitivity in ANY way that he is able. Such a person is one of a kind, a warrior in the truest meaning of the word.

Source:elephantjournal.com

vivaciousvivi: Actually read it all and I'm left more confused than before .

. Bt who Sent u ? See nw. U ar confused......sowie o

Abeg this post no make sense. Go sit-down.

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOOOOONNNGGGGGG!!!!!

all the reasons are so so valid

Will read later

What an Epistle Op!

Fellow Nairalanders, I read this post before sharing it. It does make a lot of sense if you take time to read and possibly read again for the second time. If truly you've gone through emotional withdrawal at a point in your relationship and care about it. this post is really valuable.

Just what i have been pondering on ....Thanks OP.
Its just that its lengthy

OP, can you please summarize all your write up. I don't seem to understand at all.

Nice write-ups and basically true but let me add an observation here, lots of ladies are emotionally selfish. Men have emotional needs too. Most men stopped caring and being emotionally involved because in most relationships, it is not reciprocated.
Good relationship give mutual attention to feelings of the couple.
The guys here would agree with this that women are the reasons why men seem not to be emotional these days.
We men are born to be tough but gentle and caring to one person we really care about which usually turns disastrous when she let's you down. Many men have lost faith in women and the few who do are regarded as Mugu.

Very well said!

ideology:

Thanks for being Objective,

See the last part of the write up Below

You have Also highlighted a Point, where a Lady will will feel ignored, Not actually Understanding what the guy is passing Through. The guy according to the writer is not Ignoring the Lady, but withdrawing to fix his Emotions.

During this Period, if the Lady is Not nurturing and fill up the gap, the relationship breaks away.
The writer also highlighted that the man during this people is usually mocked and being addressed as weak as seem

thanks for this bro. I didn't click the link cos of the way the op just broke off the whole thing.

The article explains what I've been trying to communicate to a female friend without success. I have a good mind of sharing the link with her, but... The posts on this thread have been disappointing. It's a mentally lazy generation. I'd likely still have to explain after she 'reads' it.

Sometimes i wonder how people process information and react to it. Responsible and matured minds will appreciate this post not minding the thread so far. Thanks bros!

People read and understood the post?

Scholaaaars!

The first few lines gave me so much headache I switched off my phone and slept off to recover myself


OP you be university lecturer?

A beg OP no vex, am an ardent reader but...a beg summarize.

Shuo!

really? pls read again. try! try!! try!!!

IF I BECOME NAIJA PRESIDENT, My 7 points
agenda
1. I am going to make sure any guy or girl
who breaks each others heart will spend
20years in jail.
2. No man is entitled to more than one
wife.
3. Any guy without 6 packs or any girl
without figure 8 will have to relocate to
Iran or Iraq for survival...
4. No work on Mondays
5. You must not have more than 2kids..
6. If U are married and ain't paying
attention to your wife,you will be jailed
until you change.
7. Every cheating man or woman must be
kept in a zoo for 2months.
8. No sex until U seek permission from
your local Govt. and it's once per month.
Will u vote for me

ogbronx: Nice write-ups and basically true but let me add an observation here, lots of ladies are emotionally selfish. Men have emotional needs too. Most men stopped caring and being emotionally involved because in most relationships, it is not reciprocated.
Good relationship give mutual attention to feelings of the couple.
The guys here would agree with this that women are the reasons why men seem not to be emotional these days.
We men are born to be tough but gentle and caring to one person we really care about which usually turns disastrous when she let's you down. Many men have lost faith in women and the few who do are regarded as Mugu.

nice angle. You are right.

However, I think it's more than just a reaction to women's 'emotional selfishness.' Truth is, women generally show more emotional intelligence than men. They are better able to send and process received body language signals. It comes quite 'naturally' to them.

(At this point, the article attributes this to nurture, as against nature, maintaining that men grow up suppressing emotions cos of upbringing and society, while women are free to explore theirs. Whether it's nature or nurture, is a topic for another day)

It starts even from before a relationship starts. A girl sees a guy she likes, sends a torrent of 'come-get-me' signals, but he does nothing. The girl thinks he doesn't fancy her. Truth is, he probably just couldn't decode her greenlight.

Same with relationships. A girl wants to show how she feels, she uses non-verbal signs expecting him to get it. Her partner misses it, and she feels neglected or even unloved.

As a reaction, the guy feels she's making a mountain out of a mole hill, and withdraws to try to figure out within himself what's really wrong. She interprets his withdrawal as lack of interest in her, and at times mirrors him out of frustration.

They slowly drift apart. With time, another relationship licks the dust.

*singing...black black black sheep, can u hear me ooo...yes sir yes sir big fat op...I don't understand what the op has written neither did I understand what I typed

laplace12: Op go back and organise that post If you want me to read it.

Lol... Make I hear say I read am

ahnie: too lengthy.

Instead of you to read and digest it, you say it is too lengthy...When your man begins to withdraw emotionally from you tomorrow, you'd accuse him of cheating and men generally of not being loving. SMH @ Nigerian women