Since the onset of the 21st century (2000s), wedding aka white wedding has been upgraded to very high standard. So many expectations, comparisons etc. Some people even quarrel if they are not invited or given a role to play.
I was of the opinion that the couple has the final say on what kind of wedding they want, but I listened to 2 friends argue today. The summary I got is that wedding is a public event for friends, family and the community the couple live. Is wedding in our country a public event or private event? Has it been like this with the people that brought this ceremony to us?

Curiouscity: Since the onset of the 21st century (2000s), wedding aka white wedding has been upgraded to very high standard. So many expectations, comparisons etc. Some people even quarrel if they are not invited or given a role to play.
I was of the opinion that the couple has the final say on what kind of wedding they want, but I listened to 2 friends argue today. The summary I got is that wedding is a public event for friends, family and the community the couple live. Is wedding in our country a public event or private event? Has it been like this with the people that brought this ceremony to us?

it should be a private event but this ceremony was imposed on us africans by the imperialists thus changing the dynamism of the whole works. africans generally thrive on the communal spirit. a child is literally fathered & mothered by the entire community. so when that child grows up, succeeds in life & decides to get married, the whole community feels entitled to attend the wedding of the child they helped raise.

I like you candid answer, it captures almost everything I was thinking. But, what happen in a situation where the couple are just residents of this area, unto work but were not raised there? Is that community still entitled?

coogar:

it should be a private event but this ceremony was imposed on us africans by the imperialists thus changing the dynamism of the whole works. africans generally thrive on the communal spirit. a child is literally fathered & mothered by the entire community. so when that child grows up, succeeds in life & decides to get married, the whole community feels entitled to attend the wedding of the child they helped raise.

Curiouscity: Since the onset of the 21st century (2000s), wedding aka white wedding has been upgraded to very high standard. So many expectations, comparisons etc. Some people even quarrel if they are not invited or given a role to play.
I was of the opinion that the couple has the final say on what kind of wedding they want, but I listened to 2 friends argue today. The summary I got is that wedding is a public event for friends, family and the community the couple live. Is wedding in our country a public event or private event? Has it been like this with the people that brought this ceremony to us?

which kinda friends and community?
na friends and community go organise the wedding?
abi na friends and community wan do wedding?

Public event.
After the traditional marriage which is somewhat private. Anyone planning on a wedding should be ready for the publicity.

Curiouscity: I like you candid answer, it captures almost everything I was thinking. But, what happen in a situation where the couple are just residents of this area, unto work but were not raised there? Is that community still entitled?

nah, they aren't entitled.
i doubt they will even show up if they don't know the couple.

coogar:

nah, they aren't entitled.
i doubt they will even show up if they don't know the couple.

Lols, your answer takes us back to square one.

A wedding is for the couple, family and friends, thats y u see people pay for and do what they like, but the marriage is for the couple.

@coogar, U know how Nigerians are quick to be friends and people from same state in another city claim brotherhood even when they are all jealous of your success and progress. These are the ones I am talking about. For me, even in the community you were raised, I feel it should be private. Note the word "feel". The type of community you refered to in your earlier post is hard to find in today's Nigeria.

Gone are those days when it took a community to raise a child.

coogar:

nah, they aren't entitled.
i doubt they will even show up if they don't know the couple.

Curiouscity: @coogar, U know how Nigerians are quick to be friends and people from same state in another city claim brotherhood even when they are all jealous of your success and progress. These are the ones I am talking about. For me, even in the community you were raised, I feel it should be private. Note the word "feel". The type of community you refered to in your earlier post is hard to find in today's Nigeria.

Gone are those days when it took a community to raise a child.

if we remove lagos out of the equation & perhaps abuja, other places in nigeria still generally share the communal spirit. on christmas day, rice & chicken are still shared via door-to-door knocking. africans like togetherness but i agree things are starting to change.

Neither!
Waste of money for a POTENTIAL DIVORCE!
Not to mention feed ijjjots!

Just a simple native law for BOTH FAMILIES ONLY!
No FRENEMIES invited! Then ONLY THE COUPLE AND ONE WITNESS AT THE REGISTRY!

Simple.

Kanwulia: Neither!
Waste of money for a POTENTIAL DIVORCE!
Not to mention feed ijjjots!

Just a simple native law for BOTH FAMILIES ONLY!
No FRENEMIES invited! Then ONLY THE COUPLE AND ONE WITNESS AT THE REGISTRY!

Simple.

Lol @frenermies!!!
They are the ones that feel entitled most so that they can have a subject for gossip.
IMO, d couple has a right to do how it pleases them. The people that first put this ceremony into the Christian domain, said "For the happiness of the couple................"

Everything all boils down to what the couples wants issues like this is a thing of choice

egopersonified: A wedding is for the couple, family and friends, thats y u see people pay for and do what they like, but the marriage is for the couple.

well true that nigerians still live and practice communialism.thats why there is still aso ebi in weddings, souvenirs, friends of the bride or groom, siblings of the bride, friends of the couples parents and all those issh involved in weddings

However even though it boils down to couples preferences I doubt whether communialism can live nigerian weddings because like someone earlier said wedding is for the immediate and extended family, friends and well wishers to play their parrt,marriage is for the couple

A wedding to me has and will always be a strictly PRIVATE event...but will the bride and both mothers ever agree to that? I think not..

Wedding in this our nigeria private event?
Are there no extended family members,friends,friends of friends.
Even the uninvited and those gatecrashers

well, celebrations in this part of the world are always like that oh.
if you do restricted by invitation parties here, the beefing no dey ever end.
see in a case where u forget to invite some people to your parties, the first thing they will say to you is "so you had a party and I was not invited" before congratulations kpa kpa