For Women Only: Types Of Nigerian Men You Should Not Date
By Isaac Dachen

I am a man of my words and when I promised to give a list of men and women you should run away from. I knew I must fulfill the promise or I would be mugged and called all sorts of names by the women-folk. So, here I am with my list of the most dangerous men Nigerian ladies should be aware of. Maybe you have always been unlucky to run into these types of men; it’s now time to run far, far, away.

1. Mr. Scaredy-Cat. While seemingly a normal, possibly timid guy, things can go extremely wrong when he finds out your true feelings. Men like these aren't mature enough to handle relationships, so they avoid them at all costs. For example, he may show signs of sharing your infatuation, but when talk of commitment comes up, he acts as if you've never even met. If this man comes into your life, don’t beat yourself up over his sudden change of heart. He’s simply a scared little boy, not the man of your dreams.

2. Mr. Flirt. He is better known with the now refined name of ‘player’ and he is all out for anything in skirt. He has dozens of women on the backburner and possesses a constant hunger to string more along to fulfill his insecure mindset. When you spot this man, don’t let him get to you. You can bet those charming one-liners and suave winks have been used many times before to his advantage. You’ll always be an option, but never a priority.

3. Mr. Blow-Off. This guy has no trouble setting plans and organizing dates. In fact, he is usually the one that routinely lights up your phone every Friday night, promising you some fun time over the weekend. But you may not be the one he actually has in mind because he schedules numerous dates and weighs his options. If you’re not top on his list, you’ll probably get the “Oh, sorry, I’m not feeling so well,” text or possibly no response at all. Don’t let it bother you; he wasn't worth your time.

4. Mr. Narcissist. Mr. Narcissist loves himself more than he loves you and spends more time on himself at your detriment. Does your man spend more time getting ready than you do? Does he constantly check his hair in every mirror he comes across? Is he seemingly more in love with himself than in you? Are his interests limited to his own idealistic opinions and profound theories? Yeah, he’s head over heels - with himself, and does not have an iota whether you exist.

5. Mr. Dramatic. Mr. Dramatic is a modern day prima donna and can freak out at anything just to make you feel guilty. He will fan every little disagreement you have into a full blown argument or even a fight because he wants to be heard first and above anyone else. He complains about everything you do and makes sure your friends and colleagues know any little offence you committed against him. He can’t handle jokes, criticism or sarcasm and is always on the boil, ready to explode.

6. Mr. Power Monger. Mr. Power Monger has a need to control you, your life, time, activities and even your finances. He wants to dictate what you do and where you go, the friends you keep and even the way you speak to him. If he starts ordering you around, tries to manipulate you in any way, or verbally or physically abuses you, it is time to do a reality check on the relationship. If you give him any hint of taking his control, he will only continue to build power by wearing you down. In order for a relationship to happily function, both sides need to share authority. He isn’t the boss of you; you control your own life.

7. Mr. Know-It-All. Even as a man, I hate people who claim to know everything and I know that everyone hates a know-it-all. If you find yourself with this man, you’ll become aware of your situation very quickly. You’ll probably be told you’re incorrect more frequently and you should prepare for the flood of extensive knowledge your man is going to heap upon you. The information you’re being bombarded with is this man’s way of looking smarter or trying to impress you. It’s not impressive, it’s downright annoying.

8. Mr. Judgmental. It is one thing to watch what people do and another thing to point out every flaw in those around you. This man can spot someone unique and different from a mile away and has this conformist need to cut them up and express his dislike of their differences. For him, your friends are bad influences on you and will lead to your doom. Your pastor or Imam is not doing anything right and you should dump them. He is incredibly shallow and don’t have the capacity to dig deep and really get to know anyone out of the ordinary. You don’t want to date a mean, un-understanding man.

9. Mr. Kept Man. These types of guys are everywhere, especially in big cities, preying on lonely big girls and elderly women for their upkeep. He has no job and has no plans to get one. What is worse is that he’s got champagne taste on a beer budget and knows how to manipulate his way into your wallet to support the lavish lifestyle he desperately wants. He knows the best boutique in town and has a sharp dress sense – all on you. He might seem like a super nice guy who is going through some tough times, but he's only concerned about what you can do for him. Don’t let this guy charm his way into your heart or your wallet, because he will not be easy to let go!

10. Mr. Mama’s Boy. Men must always be close to their families, especially their mothers but if your guy is the type who can’t take any decisions without his mama’s input, my dear, you are in serious competition. We are not talking about a man who once in a while, seeks his mother’s advice on some life-altering decisions here; we mean the guy who compares you to his mother negatively, runs to his mother at the slightest drop of an hat, needs mummy’s advice on his clothes, car, job, food and his kind of woman; he will surely make you play second fiddle as mama will always be the number.

11. Mr. Married Man. I know most women run away from a guy who's married, but some aren't aware of his relationship status or they find out after they've already fallen in love for him. In either case, don't get caught up with the married guy. He's obviously unable to stay faithful to the woman he made a vow to be with, but he also manipulates his situation so that you feel sorry for him and fall for all of his lies. He might lead you to believe that he's trapped in a loveless marriage and that he's going to eventually leave his wife and children for you, but in most, if not all situations, there's very little chance that he's going to change for anyone.

12. Mr. Shady. This is one of those men ALL women with an iota of common sense should avoid at ALL costs. He's usually loaded, has all the trappings of wealth yet you have no clue where that wealth comes from. Your wish is his command. He frequently travels abroad with no explanation - sometimes taking you along with him. He counters your curious questions with an impatient "It's none of your business!" Pay attention to your instincts. Don't let your greed for material things override your common sense. This guy is not on the up and up. RUN!!!

About the author...Isaac Dachen is a Creative Writer, a professional PR Manager, Brand Manager, Media Manager, and Image/Perception Manager, Script Editor, Content Creator and avid reader. He is versatile, eclectic, thinker, amenable, stubborn and controversial. Source: pulse.ng

Part 2 - Who Should You Throw Back Into The Dating Pool?

For Men Only: Types of Nigerian Women You Should Not Date

There are lots of marries reasons why a brother should stay away from some Nigerian women. I am sure you know this by now, but I tell you, here is my list of the no-no; the women you should never touch, even with a 100 feet long pole. They are killers, not physically maybe, but for your future destiny, happiness and purpose in life, be wary of them and you will live long.

1. Miss Big Boss. She is sweet and well-mannered initially, but sooner than later, you will realize that she is slowly becoming the boss, ordering you around, often with a sweet smile and a tone you will not refuse. She gives you tips on how to lead your life, maintain your relationships and how ambitious you should be. She tells you the kinds of guys you should hang out with and makes sure you go where she is comfortable with. She wants you to abide by her likes and dislikes, and eat whatever she loves eating. My guy, you are in for one big trouble with her.

2. Miss 'Keep on Guessing'. She loves to play hard to get and wants you to always be on the edge. You don’t know when her ‘yes’ is ‘yes’. Even if she says 'yes', you are left waiting for her to make a plan to meet. She will always keep you guessing about whether she likes you or not. As a result, you are forever insecure that someday, she might just end up with someone else.

3. Miss Chatterbox. Guys please do not mistake of dating these type of women, because they will drive you nuts with their never-ending prattle. And, know it that she who tends to talk too much is often a gossip and cantankerous. She will never shut up, barely stopping to breathe. She does not ‘hear’ stop, even from you, her supposed man. Most times, she is only concerned about what is going on in her life, and always has to make a comment about everything and dominates conversations.

4. Miss Desperado. This is a clear ‘run-run-run’ signal. If you are unfortunate enough to hook up with a desperate chick, boy, you are doomed. At first, she seems just the perfect woman, fantastic and fun to be with but once you get past the first month of your relationship, she usually reveals her true self. She remembers and celebrates the first day you met, who said hello first, your first date, your first kiss, the first time you said ‘I love you’ and the first call you made to her. When she succeeds in these, she starts talking about your wedding location, how many kids she wants and the name of your future dog! When a woman advances faster than normal, that is the watch out signal, my brother. She needs to hook up with a man so bad she will settle for anything even the homeless guy on the corner.

5. Miss Critical. You will be digging your grave if you settle for Miss Critical because she will definitely drive you there. For her, nagging is her second nature and anything you say or do is simply not good enough. Nothing works unless it is done according to her standards. Anything that is said by anyone will be quickly taken out of context to become some sort of insult or some reason to wage war against the world. This type of woman has plenty of emotional baggage and will make you an angry and bitter person as there will be nothing but misery with her.

6. Miss Bimbo. Unless you are after the one night stands, run away from Miss Bimbo because that is what she is only good at. She has a great body, good looks and skills, only meant for the bedroom. But intellectually, she is a numbskull, who, in all honesty, believes her prowess in the bed qualifies her to be taken home to mama. Guys, she is only good for the sack as she has nothing upstairs; she is lazy, lethargic and indolent, only believing her behind the door abilities covers everything.

7. Miss High Maintenance. My friend, even if you work in the biggest multi-national company in Nigeria and your monthly salary is in the region of 2 million, you are still in trouble with this woman. After all, is it not said that the higher one goes, the higher his bills? If Miss High Maintenance breaks a nail, she expects you to take her to the most expensive salon in town to fix it. Her shopping is not done in Yaba or Oshodi but in the classy boutiques at Lekki, Victoria Island and Ikoyi. If her car develops a minor fault, she needs a new car, after all, her daddy used to tell her she is a princess and it has stuck in her head, so she is to be treated like one. Gradually, she will turn you into her ATM and once you cannot meet up with her demands, off she goes.

8. Miss Jealous Forever. With Miss Jealous Forever, every female that greets you is a rival and must be fought off. Even your innocent little cousin or niece must stay away from you or else, they will know that there is a difference between acid and water. Don’t ever make the attempt of chatting with your female colleague or the pretty choir mistress in your church because Miss Jealous Forever will tear her apart. She is always on guard, insecure and never at peace in the relationship and if care is not taken will be jealous of your own mother. Guys, run for your life!

9. Miss Dependent. Another one to run from with your heels touching the back of your neck. Miss Dependent is so insecure that her slogan is; 'I live for you and I have nothing else to do'. She is totally dependent on you and her happiness and survival depends on you. She can't think of a life without you and of course, you will love the affection initially, but later, it will become suffocating and you will want to give up. She will keep texting you and asking you for updates every minute and if you don't tell her 'I love you' often in a day, she will feel the world is ending for her.

10. Miss Clingy. Do not mistake Miss Clingy for Miss Dependent. Though they may have a lot in common, they are two different people. Miss Clingy is a total nuisance who can’t go anywhere or do anything without the company of her man. She’ll adopt your interests, call you 20 times a day and fly off the handle anytime she’s not around to monitor your behavior. She will smother any chance of you missing her by insisting that you spend every waking moment with her, refusing to let you go out with the boys or spend any significant amount of time with anyone else.

About the author...Isaac Dachen is a Creative Writer, a professional PR Manager, Brand Manager, Media Manager, and Image/Perception Manager, Script Editor, Content Creator and avid reader. He is versatile, eclectic, thinker, amenable, stubborn and controversial. Source: pulse.ng

Now I know why they say that there is a shortage of men in Nigeria

If everyone were to abide by these to the letter, I'm pretty sure we would all be single.

Interesting article