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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Theory Of The Modern Wife (26947 Views)
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Theory Of The Modern Wife by lulu69: 8:52pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
by Lucas Togan EVER wondered why it was so easy for your MOTHER to SUBMIT to your father with less hassles than YOU do to your partner or husband? And even easier for your grandmother and the generation before hers to their spouses? Well, I think I got it figured... A few generations ago, ECONOMIC POWER was to the PHYSICALLY strongest in society. Say biggest farmer. In the eastern part of Nigeria (Western Africa), your economic power was measured by the size of your yam barns. Men produced yams and their wives - vegetables (less energy intensive). In the western countries, it went to the owner of the biggest plantation (by all accounts men controlled the slaves that worked those fields - no women in any account I have seen or read). Needless to say that the men folk were always on top. Women had no choice but to be SUBORDINATES to their men. However, with the rise of the Industrial Age, the power shifted from physical strength to MENTAL PRODUCTIVITY. Formal education thus became ever so important. This POWER SHIFT however introduced an element of equality between the sexes that did not exist before. Women, just like men, now had an equal chance at economic success and hence, more RELEVANCE. Whereas in the farm age men tilled the land and women cooked the harvest, women could now "till" and "cook". As simplistic as the result of this theory might seem, women are shocked to realise that after being subjected to exactly the same conditions all through their academic pursuits and examination conditions as men, they are marginalized in the economy that they enter after graduation. Some unwritten law prevents them from reaching the heights that men routinely attain. The system seems to subject them to extra tests in order to achieve the same positions as their male counterparts who went through exactly the same academic process. If the criteria for economic relevance is academic excellence, then WOMEN expect to be EQUAL to MEN. This is the MINDSET of the MODERN WIFE. She has been through exactly the same formative years as her husband. She probably did better than he did through those years as well and probably wields an equal or higher economic power in their union. She finds it difficult to understand how he can be SUPERIOR or even entertain the idea of any kind of superiority in their union. She wants him to ACKNOWLEDGE their EQUALITY. She wants him to CONSIDER and RESPECT her input. She does not want to fight the SYSTEM and her HUSBAND for relevance. SHE CAN NOT BE IRRELEVANT AT WORK AND AT HOME. Being the founder of the formal education system, the west has been able to harmonise this conflict. Men have come to respect and understand the equality that women crave - at least on the home front. However, Africa still struggles with this reality because formal education is an IMPORT for us and SUBMISSION from a woman is more natural to how the African man perceives his authority in the home and society. The problem is that the AFRICAN MAN fails to realise that the modern AFRICAN WOMAN HAS COME OF AGE. She is more SELF AWARE and understands her TRUE VALUE and POTENTIAL in the ECONOMY and in LIFE. She has been properly educated and therefore emancipated from these "archaic" mind sets. I believe that the solution is for the African man to seek a paradigm shift. He should not see equality as insubordination, rather he should consider it a challenge from the wife and seek other ways to earn her trust and submission rather than constantly resorting to the archaic means of COERCION, DEPRIVATION, THREATS and BATTERY. Lucas Togan tweets from @ltspark ; also www.facebook.com/sparkchange 65 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by Tallesty1(m): 9:35pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
Ok....... But the problem African men have is not these women that clamour for equality. My wife is not my slave, she is my body and deserves every respect. Our real problem is feminism. I know it may sound funny to hear that I'm in for equality but against feminism, I ll explain. The people that clamour for equality want the same opportunities as men. They want equal pay to men. They want to walk alone and feel safe, they want to have a say. These are the things they want and men are ok with them but feminism but feminism operates under the assumption that simply because women's roles were considered "submissive," that they alone should be freed from gender roles. Feminists tend to want equality only when it benefits them. When challenged feminists do say they believe in equal rights for men as well and then they continue to support a movement who's stated aim is the destruction of men and family. Many women do not know these, even some nigerian feminists on nairaland do not know it. The people that started the movement in the late sixties were violent, bitter, emotionally damaged lesbians who hated men and that is why most them on nland hate men. Those who ask for equal rights do not hate men but feminists do. These man hating lesbians have been telling lies about men and vilifying us for several years. They say 1 in 4 women will be raped in her lifetime and that is a lie. They used to say that women earned less than men for the same work, that was a lie. They say that men are more violent than women, that is a lie, they say that women are living in bondage, that is a lie, and some other crazy lies like that, the biggest lie feminists have always told is that they support equal rights for women and men. That is not true. Feminism is so deceptive and I believe is from the pit of hell. God outlines the roles of women and men as different but equally as important. He created us different physically emotionally, etc and that is the way it shall always be. UPDATE: all yo feminists on nland that have been given a lot of misinformation, for all yo angry people that are intoxicated with hatred, believing that maleness is synonymous with violence. To all of yo who think you can teach men how to treat a lady when you yourselves do not know what being a lady is all about in the first place. To all yo that would never consider doing some certain works/things because they are men's work but want EQUALITY To all of yo who claim that women arrested for domestic violence must have acted in self-defense You have this from me: I don't care for feminism and what it has become, every man on his own, but you need to know that the law of equality states that we are created equal ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 149 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by cococandy(f): 9:37pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
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Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by cococandy(f): 9:38pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
They'll come around gradually 1 Like |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by bukatyne(f): 10:11pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
Nice write up but the writer is mixing up been submissive to been subordinate 7 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by ireneidiva(f): 12:10am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Tallesty1: Ok....... But the problem African men have is not these women that clamour for equality. My wife is not my slave, she is my body and deserves every respect. Our real problem is feminism. I know it may sound funny to hear that I'm in for equality but against feminism, I ll explain. The people that clamour for equality want the same opportunities as men. They want equal pay to men. They want to walk alone and feel safe, they want to have a say. These are the things they want and men are ok with them but feminism but feminism operates under the assumption that simply because women's roles were considered "submissive," that they alone should be freed from gender roles.Do a research and get proper facts before you type. Who said the feminist movement was started by lesbians ![]() 25 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by Nobody: 4:00am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Best Article for July, 2014 !!! Truly @ the initial stages, only few women compete with men when economic power belongs to the physically endowed since MAN only eats from farm and wars ! Strategically , I think Man manages rough era better than women(who can easily allow emotions to cloud their judgement) while in the time of calmness , women manage better than men(whose defensive faculty might have lowered to enjoyed what peace brings) !! But in this Century and Millenium where there is no war but social challenges Women has proved, mentally, to be a better match for their male counterpart but in Africa : He hold his wife down because He is still living in the Physical ages with little mental applications !! 5 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by lulu69: 6:18am On Jul 18, 2014 |
@bukatyne - when you say I am mixing issues it will be preferred if you highlighted the aspect of my confusion by quoting a part of the article and proferring a solution or contrary view point. Don't just say ur observation without proof. 2 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by Tallesty1(m): 6:34am On Jul 18, 2014 |
ireneidiva:I said. You can dig deep too if you wana know. You don't expect them to openly declare themselves lesbians at the initial stage knowing full well the punishment that awaited them. It was in the second wave feminism movement that people started noticing them, they started showing therselves gradually because they have gained a little ground. The first wave feminists were lesbians mostly. They used lies to actually trick straight women into adopting the lesbian lifestyle. 24 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by cococandy(f): 7:19am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Tallesty1: I said. You can dig deep too if you wana know. You don't expect them to openly declare themselves lesbians at the initial stage knowing full the punishment that awaits them. It was in the second wave feminism movement that people started noticing them, they started showing therselves gradually because they have gained a little ground. The first wave feminists were lesbians mostly. They used lies to actually trick straight women into adopting the lesbian lifestyle. 1 Like
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Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by Anaskie(m): 8:26am On Jul 18, 2014 |
I'd come back to comment later. Lemme first get to d office. 1 Like |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by saasala(m): 8:29am On Jul 18, 2014 |
. |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by decode55(m): 8:30am On Jul 18, 2014 |
...::: Booked :::... |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by Afrocatalyst: 8:30am On Jul 18, 2014 |
The feminist group does not have its root in lesbianism o. 2 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by LMAyedun(m): 8:31am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Nice write up.. |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by tejpot(m): 8:35am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Ok |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by Nobody: 8:38am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Tallesty1: Ok....... But the problem African men have is not these women that clamour for equality. My wife is not my slave, she is my body and deserves every respect. Our real problem is feminism. I know it may sound funny to hear that I'm in for equality but against feminism, I ll explain. The people that clamour for equality want the same opportunities as men. They want equal pay to men. They want to walk alone and feel safe, they want to have a say. These are the things they want and men are ok with them but feminism but feminism operates under the assumption that simply because women's roles were considered "submissive," that they alone should be freed from gender roles.FEMINISM STARTED WAY BACK IN THE 19TH CENTURY BY THOSE DEMANDING 4 SUFFRAGE FOR WOMEN.AND YES 1 IN 3 WOMEN WILL BE SEXUALLY ABUSED IN THEIR LIFETIME.SO PLS DO UR RESEARCH B4 U TALK. AND MEN STILL EARN MORE THAN WOMEN EVEN WHEN WOMEN WORK THE SAME TIME AS THEM.AND WOMEN ARE STILL REGARDED AS INFERIOR IN MANY SOCIETIES!!!! 12 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by crackhaus: 8:39am On Jul 18, 2014 |
The problem is not that African men don't want equality, the problem is that African women just like all things African, are now taking advantage of it to push their own agenda of competitiveness (this is not equality) against the male folk. For example, what has statements like "if a man can cheat and be hailed for it, a woman should also cheat and not be crucified for it" got to do with equality? This is why we have so many misunderstandings here on NL and in the African society at large. 9 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by cococandy(f): 8:40am On Jul 18, 2014 |
The crap sold on NL It's amazing. Some will tell you it's a grand conspiracy against marriages worldwide ![]() dhammyg: 2 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by siralos135: 8:41am On Jul 18, 2014 |
true |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by greatgod2012(f): 8:42am On Jul 18, 2014 |
I'm tired of seeing everything that has to do with women being related to feminism! 14 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by NickiRoman: 8:43am On Jul 18, 2014 |
greatgod2012: I'm tired of seeing everything that has to do with women being related to feminism!..As in ehn...it's getting boring 2 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by 4tunebest(f): 8:44am On Jul 18, 2014 |
greatgod2012: I'm tired of seeing everything that has to do with women being related to feminism! Honestly, you can say that again. I wonder how being a modern wife translates to being a feminist. Are all modern women feminists?Aren't there modern women who easily submit to their husbands? Submission from a wife can only be EARNED, It can't be forced. Even if you force submission out of a woman, it won't last. A real man earns the submission of his wife, so she finds it easy to submit to him. Only a weakling tries to force submission out of his wife. Such weaklings aren't deserving of being called the head of a home 13 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by Nobody: 8:44am On Jul 18, 2014 |
@OP - must you put Africa to make a point?? if you travel round the middle east, you would give Africa some credits. FYI women are not even allowed to drive in some developed Arab countries, yet when people talk about women liberation, they focus on Africa. 23 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by cococandy(f): 8:44am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Explain biko. crackhaus: The problem is not that African men don't want equality, the problem is that African women just like all things African, are taking advantage of it to push their own agenda of competitiveness (this is not equality) against the male folk. 2 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by Nobody: 8:44am On Jul 18, 2014 |
I only support feminism when you are willing to share all the bills equally with me. And i didn't pay your bride-price. 20 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by emmymdk: 8:46am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Summary please.. That was long to read this early morning |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by cococandy(f): 8:47am On Jul 18, 2014 |
4tunebest: , Scyllapatron: . saasala: .Busted ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by Nobody: 8:47am On Jul 18, 2014 |
^^^^ Contemporary women are more enlightened and better helpers, they work and help in paying some of the bills as opposed to the Traditional wife. Yet some men are threatened if their wives are more successful than they are, then they result to frustrations like, you can't dress this way, you must pound for me, my wife must not work, my wife this my wife that. If you have a loving, Godfearing, hardworking and faithful wife, shove your insecurities and treasure her. 16 Likes |
Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by Saint52(m): 8:48am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Noted 4 Likes
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Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by satowind(m): 8:49am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Say no to men pay the bill women gets the equality or very soon we will be begging for equality. Thunder fire all the lesbian feminist. Last arrow If u wana tink lyk oyibo gal act lyk one. And don't go to church and keep praying the next tym naija guy with nigeria mentality refuse to marry ur type. 1 Like
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Re: Theory Of The Modern Wife by 1one: 8:49am On Jul 18, 2014 |
dhammyg: So is using capital letters your attempt to prove you're equal to a man? ![]() 18 Likes |
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