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Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers - Family (8) - Nairaland

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8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. / Why Is It A Challenge For Single Mum's To Get Married? / Guys, Can You Marry A Single Mother? Single Mothers, what are your experiences? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by succyreal(m): 7:50am On Jul 22, 2014
serious minded single mother that is ready to love call: 08032576708,
BBM:7B124675,
whatsApp: 08032576708.
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by torchwave: 7:52am On Jul 22, 2014
onyaigo: Anyway...for me sha oooo....it happened when I was a teen,i took in immediately i got disvirgined.....it wasn't funny then....going to school,,,the stigma,,the gossip,,,,breaking my family's heart,,,emotional,,,psychological,,,mental trauma(na die)....thank God I never did an abortion(i for done die of heart attack)....today am a better,,stronger,,prettier,,,classier lady......its been from one blessing to another since then(i can't fit shout).........I have learnt that love ain't sex,,relationship is for the matured in mind,,parents know your kids in and out,make them your best friend.....my advice is,,,no Sex before marriage(u r entitled to ur opinion so don't give me dat look)..,,love is not a feeling but a choice u make,,,,if it is easy getting the right partner we all would have been married by now so chill and be the best you can be(your own dey road)......brb.
A standing ovation for this magnificent address. Beautiful wisdom from the ashes of bitter experience. I'm happy that at least someone out there sees love for what it truly is, a choice, a decision expressed through action, not a feeling as those who are blind and immature perceive it to be, those who gamble away their future on a mere feeling of love that today is but tomorrow is no more.

1 Like

Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by temi4fash(m): 7:52am On Jul 22, 2014
Amusaopeyemi:
I understand dear, It wasn't easy o, you know same mom paying skul fee, buying me clothes and shoes, feeding me, paying the bills with her teacher salary.
I swear some fathers will find tears on that day and they won't see.
yes I understand... My mum was in dis shoes too until when I finish second school cos my popman was grossly irresponsible.. But thank God nau things have taken a better shape...
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Nobody: 7:56am On Jul 22, 2014

4 Likes

Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by temi4fash(m): 7:58am On Jul 22, 2014
mrvocalprowess: Wat of pple dat have fathers, but e never takes his responsibility, leaves everything for d woman to do, es jst dere in d picture but not really a dad,his wife is technically a single mother
bros na these category plenty pass.. And mehn no b better thing.. Those who have dere parents that are responsible don't know what God has done for them...

4 Likes

Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Amhappy(f): 7:59am On Jul 22, 2014
Being a single parent is not a pleasant situation. In the case of pregnancy outside wedlock,the stigma involved last longer than a life time. But since life is not perfect,you have to walk through any situation that faces you strongly. Not aborting an unplanned child is a godly and challenging choice. However the poor parenting or lack of father figure affects these children. There are cases where the girlchild get wrong notions about men and find herself in the same situation as her mum and the cycle do continue. If fathers will take up their share of the responsibility,this can be averted. Another challenge is getting anoda man to father your child. My cousin for one was molested by her mum's husband. Then the challenge of providing for a child alone. It is a tough situation. It should also be noted that a single mum and a girlchild born out of wedlock are the most affected(women always at the receiving end). Abstaining from sex for young single people is actually more easier than this and anyone who sees single parenting as a way to go must have his/her head examined . God is the strenght of these women truly.

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Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by temi4fash(m): 8:03am On Jul 22, 2014
chukwuma101: My mum is in her late forties. She's got 6 kids. She is not really single. I am her husband now. I enforce discipline and watch over the house. I am the first son. Mama got no worries.
welcome to the club I tink na only me self dai d level.. God bless u jawe.. More grace to ur elbow.. I totally understand how it is.. But all na training..
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by babestell(f): 8:19am On Jul 22, 2014
Please i didn't see anywhere on this thread where people are encouraging others to be single parents. If anything some of them have shared how hard it was and how they struggled to surmount it.

Nobody has said it was easy. They are just sharing their stories. Please lets not get all judgmental on them, single parent hood s not a new thing. Besides we are talking about all forms of single parents ( never married, divorced, death etc)

Let them share their stories and we advise and rejoice we them as we can.

God give us strenght

5 Likes

Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Nobody: 8:19am On Jul 22, 2014
brosdoncome:

U should make me understand without any indirect insult....don't start exhibiting ur trait as a single mother by being sassy and next time, be able to write like someone who expects to be understood comprehensively.
my dear am matured so I won't argue wit u, I didn't post 4 u to understand I bliv d reasonable people here understood me so I don't have a problem. I just came here to pour out my grief I didn't come here cos f u so pls don't quote me again cos u don't know anyfin abt me ok. No body else complained so I blive u r d one wit d comprehension problem. Thank u

1 Like

Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Safari29: 8:21am On Jul 22, 2014
Guys am sorry for stigmatising. I ended my relationship with a single mother a while ago after making my life miserable
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by 4lorunsho(m): 8:25am On Jul 22, 2014
Amusaopeyemi:
State school, gained admission d same year I finished my secondary school with my ss2 Neco result.
that's why" gud luck den
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Psychodavidovic(m): 8:26am On Jul 22, 2014
onyaigo: choiiiii guy...ur babe de on d journey ne..

Loool Na you na. :p
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Ishilove: 8:28am On Jul 22, 2014
Atmmachine: I became a single parent when i was 17..

My first sex with my virgin girlfriend produced a baby girl.
My 1st baby mama got married @ 20 & she took my daughter to her matrimonial home..

Then @21 i got another girl pregnant & she gave birth to a baby girl..
The third one followed the next year but this time it was a boy..


I'm so sorry for being so irresponsible & useless by putting innocent children in a sorrowful mood because i rendered them fatherless.

How will God forgive me
Are you allergic to condoms?

6 Likes

Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Ishilove: 8:29am On Jul 22, 2014
Atmmachine: I became a single parent when i was 17..

My first sex with my virgin girlfriend produced a baby girl.
My 1st baby mama got married @ 20 & she took my daughter to her matrimonial home..

Then @21 i got another girl pregnant & she gave birth to a baby girl..
The third one followed the next year but this time it was a boy..


I'm so sorry for being so irresponsible & useless by putting innocent children in a sorrowful mood because i rendered them fatherless.

How will God forgive me
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Nobody: 8:39am On Jul 22, 2014
temi4fash: welcome to the club I tink na only me self dai d level.. God bless u jawe.. More grace to ur elbow.. I totally understand how it is.. But all na training..
thanks.
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by stinggy(m): 8:43am On Jul 22, 2014
Don't know if this is for me too. I'm not married yet, but my plan is to be a single father
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Nobody: 8:57am On Jul 22, 2014
single parenthood aint easy and God will punish any dude thats trying to be judgenental on these single moms here. They believed your lies and u put them in the family way and they chose not to be murderers and to that i say bravo. Am not a single father but i respect single moms and there are lots of kids on the streets without parents. I plan to build a vocational complex for single unskilled women so that they wont have to be under self centred egoccentric hungry dudes hunting for vulnerable women

3 Likes

Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by ollins(m): 9:01am On Jul 22, 2014
Since you said Non single parents can comment on the thread as well,that's why I am here to say that children no matter the circumstances of the parents need a loving environment as it's never the fault of the children if the parents have issues

3 Likes

Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Nobody: 9:14am On Jul 22, 2014
babestell:

I don't blame them, but its so ridiculous. One actually was shocked when She turned him down, infact he was like, I am doing you a favour you should be grateful lol. I had the pleasure of kicking him out of the house grin grin

He has his head very far up his arze. He should respect her decision just as she respects his.
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Merlissa(f): 9:23am On Jul 22, 2014
Same here sis.. Self esteem issues still run but am getting better at it!

We rock!



kemthegirl: Grew up without a dad. Too many issues surrounding my birth. My mum and him were separated before he died. He died when i was seven.
She remarried a man who later asked her to send me out of the house coz her child could not be living under his roof when she has no child for him. I had to go live with family friends. Eventually, she choose me over him but the scars still run deep.
I grew up having self esteem issues, not really fitting in any where. It did not help matters that i am petite by nature and people liked to call me smallie.
My mum has been my mum and dad all my life. I am 28 years old now and i am a legal practitioner.

Today, i love myself. I embrace my petite nature and appreciate my mum for all she has done for me. My experience has made me stronger and more focused. I am determined to marry properly and give my children both parents coz every child deserves a father.

1 Like

Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Nobody: 9:25am On Jul 22, 2014
Moda nd son

6 Likes

Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Nobody: 9:30am On Jul 22, 2014
my own story as a single father is a pathetic one, my first love got pregnat for me at 21yrs I was 25yrs then she insisted on abortion but I persuaded her to keep the baby that all will be ok cos I love her though I wasn't working then and as God hav it she delivered a baby Girl very beautiful girl but since I wasn't that rich the mother inlaw did not approved our union, I tried my best for my baby from Nans, Nutrend and pampers I could n't abandone my baby cos I'm an emotional person and since childhood my baby girl is with the mother inlaw , wen she turned 2yrs I enrow her in kindergarten but during this period her mother my suppose wife Got married to a man from her mothers office I requested for custody of my daugther @ 7yrs but the inlaw refused to give me. Each time I visit her she'll insist on following me but she'll not be allowed,she's now 12yrs old in js2 I decided not to file any case against them rather concentrate on my future, the inlaw blocked every process of my closeness to my daughter by keeping her away from calling me , withdrawing handset that I gave her refusing her to come to my family during holidays and I'm now 38yrs working and comfortable but still sigle what do I do ? Pls I need advice.....
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by CoachDX: 9:31am On Jul 22, 2014
It's unfortunate that some men are beasts while some ladies are fools. Except for a rape case, every other was a mutual agreement!

Most of these single parents become one when they were teens. . .blame it on their parents. . .lack of good sex education. . .urge to explore. . .peer pressure. . .whatever might have.

I'm presently on the case of a 14years old girl, she got impregnated by a neighbour. The beast knew what has happened, locked up his room and disappeared. All through the months, i was told he didn't show up. The girl gave birth some weeks ago and last Sunday, i had to leave my office for her to breast feed the innocent baby and when she was done. . .i asked her some questions. I found out that:

1) You never can be too sure of your girl/boy-child esp teens.

2) There are always signs that such would happen which the parents/guardian refused to respond to.

3) Most parents thinks sex education is exposing the child or maybe it's unholy to discuss.

4) A teenager will do whatsoever he/she would do even if you break his/her head to put words in there but if you emphasize on the damage, it could help in decision making.

That girl's case, made it the 4th of similar cases. In all, i came to a conclusion that being a single parent is a choice, it's not a matter of how life is unfair or how life is not a bed of roses.

If you blame the guy for disappearing, why did you give in? If you laments that he promised you marriage, why not wait till then or better still use proper protection. There's nothing like "we only tried it the first time". . .as long as the dude pours it in, it's 75% chance of getting pregnant except on a well calculated menses period which i believe most women are not even sure about. Outside wedlock, it's not the route to walk. . .almost everything in your life stops except you're extra-determined.

4 Likes

Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by category(m): 9:32am On Jul 22, 2014
I love the both of you. God is your stregnth.
rozzay: Moda nd son
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by pickabeau1: 9:34am On Jul 22, 2014
rozzay: Moda nd son

This is a lovely pic.. you dont even look like you have a kid.. good genes

God will watch him
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Merlissa(f): 9:42am On Jul 22, 2014
Dapso2007: my own story as a single father is a pathetic one, my first love got pregnat for me at 21yrs I was 25yrs then she insisted on abortion but I persuaded her to keep the baby that all will be ok cos I love her though I wasn't working then and as God hav it she delivered a baby Girl very beautiful girl but since I wasn't that rich the mother inlaw did not approved our union, I tried my best for my baby from Nans, Nutrend and pampers I could n't abandone my baby cos I'm an emotional person and since childhood my baby girl is with the mother inlaw , wen she turned 2yrs I enrow her in kindergarten but during this period her mother my suppose wife Got married to a man from her mothers office I requested for custody of my daugther @ 7yrs but the inlaw refused to give me. Each time I visit her she'll insist on following me but she'll not be allowed,she's now 12yrs old in js2 I decided not to file any case against them rather concentrate on my future, the inlaw blocked every process of my closeness to my daughter by keeping her away from calling me , withdrawing handset that I gave her refusing her to come to my family during holidays and I'm now 38yrs working and comfortable but still sigle what do I do ? Pls I need advice.....


You have to keep trying. I know that Nigerian law says when the child is of age which is 18. The child gets to choose who she wants to stay with. My advice is to get a social worker (which I don't think we have in Nigeria) to follow you on your next visitation or apply for visitation rights. I know nigeria is a messed up country but with GOD on your side, there's no one stopping your goal.

Am proud of what you are doing for your child. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. keep in mind that teenage rebellion will soon start that means (if she's stubborn and rebellious like me) she will start to fight them and they will have no choice to call you and carry your child.

I hope it was helpful

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Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Nobody: 9:47am On Jul 22, 2014
Am so loving and enjoying this thread...hehehe....
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Nobody: 9:48am On Jul 22, 2014
category: I love the both of you. God is your stregnth.
Amen. Thank u dear
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by succyreal(m): 9:49am On Jul 22, 2014
pls let's learn from this thread and also get comforted by some of the experiences shared. I love all the single parents in the world. God is still to guide and make your offspring the best. love you all.

Above all I am so proud of my loving daughter

2 Likes

Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Nobody: 9:49am On Jul 22, 2014
pickabeau1:

This is a lovely pic.. you dont even look like you have a kid.. good genes

God will watch him
. Thanks nd a big Amen dear

1 Like

Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by Omolehinme(f): 9:57am On Jul 22, 2014
vict505: Hope you are a graduate now? I won't marry u ooo
yes,am a graduate
Re: Thread For Single Mothers/ Fathers by pickabeau1: 9:58am On Jul 22, 2014
Merlissa:


You have to keep trying. I know that Nigerian law says when the child is of age which is 18. The child gets to choose who she wants to stay with. My advice is to get a social worker (which I don't think we have in Nigeria) to follow you on your next visitation or apply for visitation rights. I know nigeria is a messed up country but with GOD on your side, there's no one stopping your goal.

Am proud of what you are doing for your child. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. keep in mind that teenage rebellion will soon start that means (if she's stubborn and rebellious like me) she will start to fight them and they will have no choice to call you and carry your child.

I hope it was helpful

Good advice...

@Dapso2007
List of social worker organisations in the country courtesy a deactivated moniker.. debrief08

Also try your best.. keep tabs on her.. she will come for you soon



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