Op, if you must go back, it shd be based on courting him and finding out if he has changed(if he comes begging). He shd get a place for u and d kids. Start looking for a job now or start a bizness, dont just stay idle waiting for him.
My fear for you is that when his family sees u are adamant, they might come after the kids. If they are in sch and this issue is not resolved by sept, pls change their sch and instruct them never to release them to anyone else but you. Make sure everyone in your family also follow this instruction when the kids are at home. Becos if he hasnt called days after and he knows you are with your family then he has no respect for them, so he might not even bother to settle thru family meeting.

egopersonified: Op, if you must go back, it shd be based on courting him and finding out if he has changed(if he comes begging). He shd get a place for u and d kids. Start looking for a job now or start a bizness, dont just stay idle waiting for him.
My fear for you is that when his family sees u are adamant, they might come after the kids. If they are in sch and this issue is not resolved by sept, pls change their sch and instruct them never to release them to anyone else but you. Make sure everyone in your family also follow this instruction when the kids are at home. Becos if he hasnt called days after and he knows you are with your family then he has no respect for them, so he might not even bother to settle thru family meeting.

I moved from his state to mine and hopefully, the kids would start school in the estate where my folks stay. I know he's capable of doing that so I'm not slacking.

Stay idle waiting for whom Hmm.. I left with no dime in my account. How on earth would I stay idle waiting for him? I'm already selling some things my sister sent from abroad.

madam, just hold yourself it is well

How pathetic!

I do not usually tell women to leave their homes except of course in the case of battery.He just did not want to be the one to beat you,hence he sent his nephews to do the job for him.He is fed up with the marriage and the last thing you want to be is a burden to him.

Stay with your folks,take adequate care of your kids and I command you for not leaving them behind.
As for the pregnancy,keep it and please do let him know by sending him a text and also save it in your draft.
Be strong,it is not going to be easy,but for the sake of your sanity and self worth do not contact him for anything.
Glad you are doing some business and seems to be doing alright for yourself.

Stay strong.It is well

Thank you all...

Initially, I was pained by the fact that my daughter kept breaking down, asking for her daddy whom she had severally asked me in the past why he keeps going to work and wouldn't return.

Thank God that she has gotten over it now.

Glitterdust:

No, it wasn't.

I'll accept your words.
If you will admit however,you didn't have a good foundation.You said he came from abroad so it was probably a long distance relationship or someone hooked up you both.

Anyway,the most important thing is that you have moved out.Now you have to start picking yourself up and get a source of income.

.

Glitterdust: I am in my early 30's, married with two kids. Living with my MIL and two of my husband's nephews... (btw, I am a stay-at-home mum at the insistence of my husband..

My husband and I have always had issues but the basis of my story isn't the constant battery, emotional and psychological assault.

On thursday night, I had a minor misunderstanding with one of my husband's nephews and it resulted into a fight where the two boys pounced on me and beat me up. Hubby was not at home at the time so I called him but the phone went off after I mentioned what happened ..I called him severally but he refused to answer so I called my folks who advised that I should wait for him to come back.

That night, he didn't come baick but from the telephone conversations I heard, he was calling and speaking with MIL and his nephews.

On friday, I called him and spoke with him briefly. I was already fed up with the marriage and had decided that if he makes it back home that friday night that i'd tell him that since he was clearly unhappy in the marriage and constantly reminded me that he made a mistake marrying me that we should separate for sometime. He didn't come back that night and also didn't take my calls.

So on saturday, I packed my things and left with my kids for my parent's house.

On sunday, I did a test and found out that I was pregnant. I haven't called him and he hasn't called us either because he always made it clear that he didn't care about me or the kids.

I want to send him an sms and tell him about the pregnancy. What do I do?

I can imagine the agonies,but stay strong and find peace through this sad noise.

You did the right thing in moving out.A true hubby won't behave so stupidly.He would have preferred you were killed?Nothing justifies such an infirmity-I am sorry to say this about your hubby who hasn't learnt to be a hubby.

As foolish as he has acted in the specific scenario,it is better to dignify him with the news of your pregnancy as such a sick mind may turn around,if you don't tell him,to deny the pregnancy and accuse you of infidelity.

Just a note to those who are men only in name and dick: you are giving us a name so bad with your irresponsibility.

If my nephews or anyone younger than me in my family even touch my wife,I will personally beat the hell out of him/her before I ask to know what happened. If you are older or obviously stronger than me,I will get you locked up in a cell for a week within 20 minutes of such an act.

This tale has messed up with head.Madam be strong.

1st & foremost i say sorry 2 yu 4 yur grief. Although leavin yur marital home isn't smtin 2 b proud of but believe mi yur life was worth saving and d only way that guarantees yur safety was leaving.

However, I stil dont wanna believe dat a 21st century woman who is "lucky" 2 marry a rich man wont av a dime in her account.
Anyway sha, i tink our yunger gals cud learn 4rm dis, dont be a HOUSE WIFE cux its so out dated. Making moni isn't a sole responsibility of the man cux we don't live in caves no mur but mansions. Am not sayin yu shud steal yur husbands' moni o but believe mi he wud luv, respect and honour yu mur wen u are able 2 do smtin. My candid opinion anyway.

Greyworld: 1st & foremost i say sorry 2 yu 4 yur grief. Although leavin yur marital home isn't smtin 2 b proud of but believe mi yur life was worth saving and d only way that guarantees yur safety was leaving.

However, I stil dont wanna believe dat a 21st century woman who is "lucky" 2 marry a rich man wont av a dime in her account.
Anyway sha, i tink our yunger gals cud learn 4rm dis, dont be a HOUSE WIFE cux its so out dated. Making moni isn't a sole responsibility of the man cux we don't live in caves no mur but mansions. Am not sayin yu shud steal yur husbands' moni o but believe mi he wud luv, respect and honour yu mur wen u are able 2 do smtin. My candid opinion anyway.

U best believe it o.

He makes the money remember and brings out money for baby food and clothes and expects everything to be accounted for kobo by kobo. The house keeping money is given to MIL because she does the shopping for house food and stuff...

If u know the problems that have arisen because I was itching to work? He wouldn't even allow me to do the minutest thing saying he's not complaining and that I should concentrate on the kids...

This is why nigeria needs a child support system that mandate dead beat dads to cater for their kids when they get thrown out of the house

You should tell him about the pregnancy.
Just for the records!
Nothing more!
You go understand say MAN FIT GIF WOMAN BELLE. . . . but only woman dey CARRY BELLE!!!!
Your mama nor teasssssh you all dat wan?

YOU GO NO SAY AS NA ONLY YOU WAKA COME. . . .NA ONLY YOU GO WAKA GO!!!!!

This is your business ONLY!
The marriage was rocky and you kept PHOCKING him?
He insisted you stayed at home WHILE DISRESPECTING YOU CONSTANTLY. . . . ? AND YOU AGREED?

Please, don't let me add insult to your injury.

Your misery has only begun and I pity you.

You are a TYPICAL passive-aggressive NIGERIAN WOMAN.
The MOST unfortunate circumstance.

You have made your mat. . . . Please, roll it and take refuge under the nearest bridge.
You are in for A ROUGH RIDE!
All the best. . . .

Glitterdust:


U best believe it o.

He makes the money remember and brings out money for baby food and clothes and expects everything to be accounted for kobo by kobo. The house keeping money is given to MIL because she does the shopping for house food and stuff...

If u know the problems that have arisen because I was itching to work? He wouldn't even allow me to do the minutest thing saying he's not complaining and that I should concentrate on the kids...

Dats terrible... In fact its horrible as well as weird. Well, tins can only get beta now.

Kanwulia: You should tell him about the pregnancy.
Just for the records!
Nothing more!
You go understand say MAN FIT GIF WOMAN BELLE. . . . but only woman dey CARRY BELLE!!!!
Your mama nor reasssssh you all dat wan?

This is your business ONLY!
The marriage was rocky and you kept PHOCKING him?
He insisted you stayed at home WHILE DISREPECTING YOU CONSTANTLY?

Please, don't let me add insult to your injury.

Your misery has only begun and I pity you.

You are a TYPICAL passive-aggressive NIGERIAN WOMAN.
The MOST unfortunate circumstance.

You have made your mat. . . . Please, roll it and take refuge under the nearest bridge.
You are in for A ROUGH RIDE!
All the best. . . .

My sister, I don take my fate as I see am o.

@Glitterdust, am pained reading this happening 2 U in dis age. However, check urself in the past if U have caused any wife pain by being emotionally attached to the hubby or smthing like dat. If U can remember any, just kneel and sincerely ask 4 forgiveness for Ur good and dat of ur kids. This things can b serious, am not accusing U. I pity lots of young girls now cos they are preparing bad time for them in future. Anyway, be strong, learn a skill as U market ur sister's goods. A skill will give u money without much capital. Which city are U staying. Send me a pm. God bless U.

Has he always acted lik this towards u n u still married him. He actually told his nephews to beat u up if u ask me. U ve overstayed in dt houz, its game up nw. U ve to move on nw even though it ll b very hard for u.

Hmmmmm...strange things happen oo ...all these immature men..smh

You have really gotten some good advices from people here, put them to use...
You did a good thing by packing out of the house.
Tell him you're pregnant because he may accuse you of infidelity in the future.
Start up something so as to have a source of income to take good care of your kids and yourself.
Above all Be HAPPY, Try and do things that make you happy...don't dwell on your mistakes, just move on..life's too short..
Goodluck and may God be with you...




Btw, some men are just so silly

Glitterdust:


My sister, I don take my fate as I see am o.

You are one brave woman leaving your husband's house in a country where most women are suffering from battered wife syndrome. Its going to be a rough ride but I am sure you will do fine. Them no dey use husband collect money for bank.

Na wah oo...

Let his family marry him.....

rolled: If I were you I would go for an abortion asap
With this kind of depressing life you are living,you still want to add another baby?
That man doesn't give a damn about you.what kind of a husband doesn't return home for the day?
The siblings sef have no single respect for you,because of the way their brother has finished you in the presence

Thank You and God bless you for this..Married women has the highest rate of Abortion,Go and abort that baby asap if the foetus is still tender not if its above 4,5 months oo but if its just two to three weeks or a month because this man has no regard for you or your family and you will be in your parents house pregnant,think of the shame and it will be obvious for people that u having problem wiv your husband,Make sure urchildren are well taken care of and he will cum back begging,ur only need to be strong and take your stand.

No... aborting this baby is a no no for me. I've moved on but I'm keeping this innocent soul...

These kids are all I have now.

You are a strong woman.... Too bad this happened to you. I am sure every thing will work out well for you soonest.


I don't have advice for you.... from your comments, I can see that you know what you what.


Kpele.*ehugs

^^^^^ thanks a lot.

Glitterdust: ^^^^^ thanks a lot.

Your husband is likely to come back in the not-too-distant future. What will you do then? Tell him about the pregnancy 100%.

.

Glitterdust:


My sister, I don take my fate as I see am o.

@ Op: Girl you have such a determined spirit! Even with all the heat you still manage to comport yourself in well scripted lines. I sympathize with your situation. It is also a good start with the business you are doing now. Try and be strong for your kids, since you have always yearned to work i guess this is the right time to start distributing your cvs. Volunteer to work in organizations you are interested in even without pay.

I wish you the very best and hoping the Lord comforts you in the way he knows best how to do! {huggggs}

maclatunji:

Your husband is likely to come back in the not-too-distant future. What will you do then? Tell him about the pregnancy 100%.

No Mac, he wont come back. My dad called him today which was only natural to say "I saw ur wife and kids here. What's going on?" But he refused to pick up.

If he comes back, I aint going nowhere!

subzidi:
@ Op: Girl you have such a determined spirit! Even with all the heat you still manage to comport yourself in well scripted lines. I sympathize with your situation. It is also a good start with the business you are doing now. Try and be strong for your kids, since you have always yearned to work i guess this is the right time to start distributing your cvs. Volunteer to work in organizations you are interested in even without pay.

I wish you the very best and hoping the Lord comforts you in the way he knows best how to do! {huggggs}

Nne, the determination comes from many years of suffering and smiling. Physical and emotional abuse. I was sceptical of what people would say.

But I thank God...

Thunder fire devil. Years later he will come back to say na jazz. The Lord is you strenght sis. Just keep it clean,no abortion,informed him about preg. Make him go bring in that thing wey dey shack am from outside. He go hear nwiiii.

Amhappy: Thunder fire devil. Years later he will come back to say na jazz. The Lord is you strenght sis. Just keep it clean,no abortion,informed him about preg. Make him go bring in that thing wey dey shack am from outside. He go hear nwiiii.

Lol...

I know something is wrong somewhere sha but I don't want to stay around to find out o. Let him sort himself out.

Glitterdust:

Lol...

I know something is wrong somewhere sha but I don't want to stay around to find out o. Let him sort himself out.

You are indeed a strong woman.I believe your kids will soon get over daddy too.But was he nice to your kids? just curious.

Splendblex:
You are indeed a strong woman.I believe your kids will soon get over daddy too.But was he nice to your kids? just curious.

Nice? Yes. Well, he was hardly ever home early. He comes home between 12 and 3 a.m., by then my 3yr old would have gone to bed asking whether dad was coming home that night.

He buys stuff for them and makes sure they never lack anything. But whenever we have issues, he distances himself entirely from them. And even stops bringing money for their feeding.

On one occassion, he was talking to a newly wed couple and said that he loves his kids to death but that the love he has for them flows from the love he has for me and that anyday I piss him off, that he would completely forget me and by extension, my children...