Being a lover of Jokes and funny quotes i've decided to compile a list of funny quotes, that could make you crack your ribs. Feel free to add yours.
Here they are:


You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

He who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

I've never been married, but I tell people
I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in the world. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Op .. U need help