You're concentrating too much on yourself and what goes on within your body. That only makes you self conscious and you're likely to make mistakes which can be perceived as awkward.
Stop thinking too much of your imperfections and how they're laid bare for all to see. That's not true. They can only see what you reveal to them.
I know it's hard, but try to focus your attention externally to what your companions are saying and their actions. That'll ease the pressure and help you respond better.
When you're responding, don't talk to the crowd. Speak as though you're talking to one person. Unify the crowd into a single entity in your mind and assume that entity to be your friend.
Personally, I think going to a big gathering was not a good way to start your socialising journey. You should have mastered conversations with coworkers first. Then learn talking to small groups and move progressively as you become more comfortable.
Being an introvert myself, my job requires to meet new people every day and it was a nightmare at first. But after a while, I got used to it and actually began to enjoy it. For me, it built a skill that's very useful and required to be a functional member of society and for that I'm greatful.
When you've gone past the angst of thinking what to say, you'll discover people are happy to meet you in so far as you're not a nasty person.
I started reading Susan Cain's 'Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking' today and it has been very refreshing.
Here's an excerpt from it - "The Extrovert Ideal has been documented in many studies, though this research has never been grouped under a single name. Talkative people, for example, are rated as smarter, better-looking, more interesting and more desirable as friends . . . even though there's zero correlation between the gift of gab and good ideas. . .
But we make a grave mistake to embrace the Extrovert Ideal so unthinkingly. Some of our greatest ideas, art and inventions—from the theory of evolution to Van Gogh's sunflower to the personal computer—came from quiet and cerebral people who knew how to tune in to their inner worlds and the treasures to be found there.
Without Introverts, the world would be devoid of: the theory of gravity the theory of relativity W.B. Yeats's "The Second Coming" Chopin's norcturnes Proust's In Search of Lost Time Peter Pan Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four and Animal Farm The Cat in the Hat Charlie Brown Schindler's List, E.T., and Close Encounters of the Third Kind Google Harry Potter*
As the science journalist Winifred Gallagher writes: "The glory of the disposition that stops to consider stimuli rather than rushing to engage with them is its long association with intellectual and artistic achievements. . . ." Even in less obviously introverted occupations, like finance, politics and activism, some of the greatest leaps forward were made by introverts. In this book we'll see how figures like Eleanor Roosevelt, Al Gore, Warren Buffett, Gandhi—and Rosa Parks achieved what they did not in spite of but because of their introversion."
Something happened today and I would love to share, its about a girl I collected her number....
First off, as an introvert, I've said this lots of time, introverts are the best personality, you can train yourself in a way others will see you as an attractive gentleman, far better than the loud extroverts.
I'm not the only introvert in school na, but that's not the case, she likes my own type of introversion.
So today, she accused me lots of time for being shy, being shy to call, to text, to even say hi
Guyman was just laughing, I was in awe, the voice inside me was giving crazy replies
Her: you are too shy to call Voice inside me: I don't have the time
Her: 5 years in school and you don't have friends Vim: lukadiswan, its either you're my close friend or I just know you, simple
Her: Since you collected my number you haven't called me. Are you that shy Vim: What is wrong with this one, I don't even call my relatives
Her: You're too shy to approach someone you love Vim: OMG, what have I got myself into?
Her: You saw me and pretended you didn't see me, you're too shy Vim: I can't shout abeg, dey your dey
We talked for almost an hour, most of the times I defended my personality and sometimes I laugh at how the questions and acquisitions are being thrown at me, lol
The thing is, I recently started approaching ladies randomly and getting their number, I find it interesting nowadays but the real me doesn't have time for any relationship.
Her questions today were bullets and giving back her answers will just feel like I'm being harsh, I could tell her straight that I don't need friends and I won't feel bothered about it, I can even tell her I don't have time making friends, which is the truth but I don't want to sound harsh, she's kinda younger than me.
So guys, fellow introverts, trust me, having lots of friends is rubbish, have just few friends who can have your back all the time, there was a time one of my true friend's dad died, I sent messages every single day to her ever since on WhatsApp, and if she isn't online, I call her, if I start narrating what she did for me ehn...
I'd pick introvert over extrovert if I ever come back to this world
We rock fellas, we rock
So she said I should call her tonight, heaven knows I won't call her, I didn't like the way she questioned my personality, she actually wanted me to act like fellow extroverts, at that point I said no, can't happen... This matter just dey somehow and one mind is telling me I'll delete her number very soon, I hate stress.
if you can't be a friend without trying to change me, please I'm grown up now and I know how special I am, don't stress me abeg
Most times I play my music with my ear phone on. But if there is an important discussion going on, I will just look and smile but wud find it so difficult to contribute. Another thing is sitting beside a fine girl, o boy na that one I dey fall hand pass o. I will just be looking at the girl stylishly from one side of the eye. I may be trying to speak to her but e go dey hard o, except the girl makes the first move. If she does, she go just loose me from the cage.
SilverG33k: Something happened today and I would love to share, its about a girl I collected her number....
First off, as an introvert, I've said this lots of time, introverts are the best personality, you can train yourself in a way others will see you as an attractive gentleman, far better than the loud extroverts.
I'm not the only introvert in school na, but that's not the case, she likes my own type of introversion.
So today, she accused me lots of time for being shy, being shy to call, to text, to even say hi
Guyman was just laughing, I was in awe, the voice inside me was giving crazy replies
Her: you are too shy to call Voice inside me: I don't have the time
Her: 5 years in school and you don't have friends Vim: lukadiswan, its either you're my close friend or I just know you, simple
Her: Since you collected my number you haven't called me. Are you that shy Vim: What is wrong with this one, I don't even call my relatives
Her: You're too shy to approach someone you love Vim: OMG, what have I got myself into?
Her: You saw me and pretended you didn't see me, you're too shy Vim: I can't shout abeg, dey your dey
We talked for almost an hour, most of the times I defended my personality and sometimes I laugh at how the questions and acquisitions are being thrown at me, lol
The thing is, I recently started approaching ladies randomly and getting their number, I find it interesting nowadays but the real me doesn't have time for any relationship.
Her questions today were bullets and giving back her answers will just feel like I'm being harsh, I could tell her straight that I don't need friends and I won't feel bothered about it, I can even tell her I don't have time making friends, which is the truth but I don't want to sound harsh, she's kinda younger than me.
So guys, fellow introverts, trust me, having lots of friends is rubbish, have just few friends who can have your back all the time, there was a time one of my true friend's dad died, I sent messages every single day to her ever since on WhatsApp, and if she isn't online, I call her, if I start narrating what she did for me ehn...
I'd pick introvert over extrovert if I ever come back to this world
We rock fellas, we rock
So she said I should call her tonight, heaven knows I won't call her, I didn't like the way she questioned my personality, she actually wanted me to act like fellow extroverts, at that point I said no, can't happen... This matter just dey somehow and one mind is telling me I'll delete her number very soon, I hate stress.
if you can't be a friend without trying to change me, please I'm grown up now and I know how special I am, don't stress me abeg
I thought I was the only one with Voice inside me. My own can give hot sarcastic responses, which manages to escape through my lips if I don't like the person, or the criticism is getting out of hand.
SilverG33k: Something happened today and I would love to share, its about a girl I collected her number....
First off, as an introvert, I've said this lots of time, introverts are the best personality, you can train yourself in a way others will see you as an attractive gentleman, far better than the loud extroverts.
I'm not the only introvert in school na, but that's not the case, she likes my own type of introversion.
So today, she accused me lots of time for being shy, being shy to call, to text, to even say hi
Guyman was just laughing, I was in awe, the voice inside me was giving crazy replies
Her: you are too shy to call Voice inside me: I don't have the time
Her: 5 years in school and you don't have friends Vim: lukadiswan, its either you're my close friend or I just know you, simple
Her: Since you collected my number you haven't called me. Are you that shy Vim: What is wrong with this one, I don't even call my relatives
Her: You're too shy to approach someone you love Vim: OMG, what have I got myself into?
Her: You saw me and pretended you didn't see me, you're too shy Vim: I can't shout abeg, dey your dey
We talked for almost an hour, most of the times I defended my personality and sometimes I laugh at how the questions and acquisitions are being thrown at me, lol
The thing is, I recently started approaching ladies randomly and getting their number, I find it interesting nowadays but the real me doesn't have time for any relationship.
Her questions today were bullets and giving back her answers will just feel like I'm being harsh, I could tell her straight that I don't need friends and I won't feel bothered about it, I can even tell her I don't have time making friends, which is the truth but I don't want to sound harsh, she's kinda younger than me.
So guys, fellow introverts, trust me, having lots of friends is rubbish, have just few friends who can have your back all the time, there was a time one of my true friend's dad died, I sent messages every single day to her ever since on WhatsApp, and if she isn't online, I call her, if I start narrating what she did for me ehn...
I'd pick introvert over extrovert if I ever come back to this world
We rock fellas, we rock
So she said I should call her tonight, heaven knows I won't call her, I didn't like the way she questioned my personality, she actually wanted me to act like fellow extroverts, at that point I said no, can't happen... This matter just dey somehow and one mind is telling me I'll delete her number very soon, I hate stress.
if you can't be a friend without trying to change me, please I'm grown up now and I know how special I am, don't stress me abeg
Bro you are so much like me,I do be able to meet any lady of my choice and do what extroverts called toasting abi chyking, wetin I know? bottom line is make the girls head spins and collect the number after that I'd forget her that same minutes. funny thing is can see another one that same minute and go do the same thing to her. guess they might see me next time and would be like you are so heartless! ewoo! what have I done? you can't even call text to know how someone is fairing? God knows I'm not ready for any relationship. I never call my families them na I wan call. in between I see that as having fun.
Bro you are so much like me,I do be able to meet any lady of my choice and do what extroverts called toasting abi chyking, wetin I know? bottom line is make the girls head spins and collect the number after that I'd forget her that same minutes. funny thing is can see another one that same minute and go do the same thing to her. guess they might see me next time and would be like you are so heartless! ewoo! what have I done? you can't even call text to know how someone is fairing? God knows I'm not ready for any relationship. I never call my families them na I wan call. in between I see that as having fun.
My case is a bit similar!
My girlfriend(fiance) called it off with me about a week ago! Reason been that; I didn't show that I love her enough! But her statement was that "we are not compartible''.
I can't just believe that she could say that...
From my thinking; My offenses are:
1. I only call once in a day... Me we dey call my dad like once in two weeks!
2. Send her #100 credit every 5days... I no be her father na
3. Money for "hair"... Na only 1k I dey send if she ask!
4. Data... Na #500 data me self dey use per month, #500 or nothing!
5. No extra money for her again after she finished her nysc around April! Through out the whole service year, I do send her like 3k every month oooooooooo! Bought her new phone! ( She only bought me a pair of undies, a wallet and a belt)
Na now she know shey '"we are not compartible" ( The relationship was almost 2 years)
Since she made that statement last week, I hang up the call and never call her again! I never text / call her friends ( my friends too). I just lock up!
A part of me was happy, because of the freedom but the other is depressed! I will start all over again, me wey never toast more than one girl all my life!
I didn't have the strength to be looking for girls again, chaiiiii!
What pain me most be that, she knew I didn't have any other "girlfriend" before or after her!
I just use my sisters as consolation this whole week, I just increased everything have been sending to them by two... I cannot kee myself
I just use my sisters as consolation this whole week, I just increased everything have been sending to them by two... I cannot kee myself
huh! you got me reading this line twice. I almost concluded you are having a thing with your sis. naughty me what do I know sef? in between I'd advice u to make another move am sure there is someone close to u wanting to talk to her.
My girlfriend(fiance) called it off with me about a week ago! Reason been that; I didn't show that I love her enough! But her statement was that "we are not compartible''.
I can't just believe that she could say that...
From my thinking; My offenses are:
1. I only call once in a day... Me we dey call my dad like once in two weeks!
2. Send her #100 credit every 5days... I no be her father na
3. Money for "hair"... Na only 1k I dey send if she ask!
4. Data... Na #500 data me self dey use per month, #500 or nothing!
5. No extra money for her again after she finished her nysc around April! Through out the whole service year, I do send her like 3k every month oooooooooo! Bought her new phone! ( She only bought me a pair of undies, a wallet and a belt)
Na now she know shey '"we are not compartible" ( The relationship was almost 2 years)
Since she made that statement last week, I hang up the call and never call her again! I never text / call her friends ( my friends too). I just lock up!
A part of me was happy, because of the freedom but the other is depressed! I will start all over again, me wey never toast more than one girl all my life!
I didn't have the strength to be looking for girls again, chaiiiii!
What pain me most be that, she knew I didn't have any other "girlfriend" before or after her!
I just use my sisters as consolation this whole week, I just increased everything have been sending to them by two... I cannot kee myself
Lol, your case is funny.
I'm still trying to fathom why mine decided to pull the plug too. I don't even know who is more introverted between the two of us. To him, all of a sudden I have become rude? (Ayam not understanding). Good thing we didn't get to the engagement part. A part of me is also relieved and the other part is sad.
BTW, how so people getting away with receiving extra money from their parents or significant others, when serving?
I never did. In fact the one time I tried it, the speech my dad gave was enough to douse any future asking. After I got that one, I never asked. I took to freelance writing instead.
Even till date, I don't ask. If he gives good, he doesn't, still good.
Anyways, don't worry, she would realize herself (I don't want to call it mistake) But you sef, if you don't call often, you both should try chatting at night before bed time.
My girlfriend(fiance) called it off with me about a week ago! Reason been that; I didn't show that I love her enough! But her statement was that "we are not compartible''.
I can't just believe that she could say that...
From my thinking; My offenses are:
1. I only call once in a day... Me we dey call my dad like once in two weeks!
2. Send her #100 credit every 5days... I no be her father na
3. Money for "hair"... Na only 1k I dey send if she ask!
4. Data... Na #500 data me self dey use per month, #500 or nothing!
5. No extra money for her again after she finished her nysc around April! Through out the whole service year, I do send her like 3k every month oooooooooo! Bought her new phone! ( She only bought me a pair of undies, a wallet and a belt)
Na now she know shey '"we are not compartible" ( The relationship was almost 2 years)
Since she made that statement last week, I hang up the call and never call her again! I never text / call her friends ( my friends too). I just lock up!
A part of me was happy, because of the freedom but the other is depressed! I will start all over again, me wey never toast more than one girl all my life!
I didn't have the strength to be looking for girls again, chaiiiii!
What pain me most be that, she knew I didn't have any other "girlfriend" before or after her!
I just use my sisters as consolation this whole week, I just increased everything have been sending to them by two... I cannot kee myself
lol.bro I feel ur pains My first and only gf once told me she was having a crush on someone..'even though I didn't mind Few days leta she said she was no longer interested,without even giving me any reasonable reason.. I just lock up,weytin man go do na...life goes on..lol Now na money I dey find,anytin Dah wee give me money I'm in..forget about woman first
Bro you are so much like me,I do be able to meet any lady of my choice and do what extroverts called toasting abi chyking, wetin I know? bottom line is make the girls head spins and collect the number after that I'd forget her that same minutes. funny thing is can see another one that same minute and go do the same thing to her. guess they might see me next time and would be like you are so heartless! ewoo! what have I done? you can't even call text to know how someone is fairing? God knows I'm not ready for any relationship. I never call my families them na I wan call. in between I see that as having fun.
Cheers to that brother, let us enlighten others this introversion isn't a bad thing at all.
What pain me most be that, she knew I didn't have any other "girlfriend" before or after her!
This here is the problem, let me tell you something brother, consider an introvert's relationship as a game, and you will have higher chances of winning.
Answer this, will you marry someone you love or look for someone then love her
I choose the later anyway, your idea may differ but mine works, for some reasons, most introvert are die hard lovers, they just don't show it, when they do, they show it in an excessive dumb way.
Next time when you get a girl, follow some rules 1. Don't feel intimidated, don't get jealous 2. Don't show too much love but make her feel special 3. Make her jealous but don't ignore her 4. Don't do too much, don't do too little, always ask yourself, if she decides to leave now, will I be bothered or broken, if you're going to be broken... Bro something is wrong 5. Channel your feelings to something else, your job, startup, idea, studies, career, anything that has to do with you first 6. Don't love blindly, learn from your relationship and it will help you in your next one
Again, this is my own idea, and it worked for me, no bad vibes
Apus: Right now, there's this uneasiness with me when an anonymous number calls my line. I never pick them even if i have an idea who it may be. Funny thing is i don't regret it. Even if the call was from Mr President amd he ain't on my contact list we not game. Though i get to apologize, I find it rude when an anonymous number calls me. Atleast inform me before calling so i know how to compose myself. I installed Truecaller after much complaints from people.
U never see something Not answering calls on ur contact list is a pride thing
0luwatope: I'm an introvert and I am writing this for all introverts...
I'm a student in my early twenties, I come from a poor family, which even makes my matters worse, but somehow, I've been able to get my alone time.
Last week(Friday 9th), my mum called me from school to come sell 16 packs of bottled coke at a Jamb accredited center.
As Jamb starts the following day, I was told to sell it to the jambites. That's not even the problem
The real problem is this; the mini market I was to sell the drinks, 6 other certified market women were already there. I mean women who would be shouting all day long just to sell their markets too, you name them, they have it all.
For the first time, I was open to lots of people. Unfortunately for me, I have a very low voice, so I really can't shout.
On Saturday, I was just too shy, too introverted, I sold very little, I was frustrated. The other women were shouting, calling customers, I was just praying for the time to move swiftly.
If I continue to market my drinks like an introvert, I'd never sell anything, so I decided to think like an introvert and act like an extrovert, lol
By thinking like an introvert, I will be reading body languages or everyone, believing that I'm better than the rest of them, thinking this is just temporary..... and by acting like an extrovert, I would shout too, run to customers, ask them if they wanna buy drinks...
Fastforward to monday, we were like 8 in number selling the same thing. I myself could not believe I too can be running to people who looked at me, asking them if they wanna buy drinks. I never thought I would be able to behave like a complete extrovert, by wednesday(2 days later), I had sold all the packs of bottled coke given to me
Now the thing is, introversion is the best personality one can have.... Here are reasons 1. You're a gentleman, you don't live a rough life 2. You're a pro in anything you do. Its inborn. If an introvert loves doing something and passionate about it, he is gonna excel outstandingly. 3. There are lots of perks being an introvert, I can't name them all here . . . 9. Who said we too can't act like an extrovert should the need arises?
I just did!!
Again, I made this post like last year or something, with my other account, I guess I should be an introvert ambassador
Imogenn: I really don’t know where all this stems from. I’ve always been that shy quiet kid from childhood. But it’s just gotten worse as I’ve transformed into adulthood. Sometimes I feel I’m not adequate enough because I’m so quiet in a world full of confident people. I’m very conscious about my looks, as I’ve been told I’m ugly more than beautiful in my lifetime, that could be another reason. I feel everywhere I go, people must always have one negative/weird thing to say about me, so it’s just strange. I’m troubled.
I need to tell u few things that will change the way u reason. How can one reach u? Honestly U are just suffering yourself for nothing...
RSVP: So I was planing to visit a friend today and I woke up around 3am to iron my well starched shirt and I even had to polish my shoe oo . Then fast forward to ds moment. My mood just switch smh. Let's jzt say my server is down . Lol
bSo I'm folding my shirt back into my box then I'll put a call thru say I no go show again.. Reason?? No Reason
But In my head.. I don go come back already sha.
which kind life be dis sef smh.
hahaha,i used to be like this when i was younger, thank GOD I'm now super confident but I'm still an introvert,i just like being indoor most times.
moufan: hahaha,i used to be like this when i was younger, thank GOD I'm now super confident but I'm still an introvert,i just like being indoor most times.
That guy nailed it. I always attend public ceremony through the back door ,, except we're going as a group. Have cancelled many outings with the opposite sex for no reason.
That guy nailed it. I always attend public ceremony through the back door ,, except we're going as a group. Have cancelled many outings with the opposite sex for no reason.
That guy nailed it. I always attend public ceremony through the back door ,, except we're going as a group. Have cancelled many outings with the opposite sex for no reason.
Wow, i never knew a thread like this existed on this forum, this is among the few thread i almost read from the beginning to the end.
I was filled with great happiness and excitement reading through the pages getting to hear that people are living my weird type of lifestyle lol, its like another version of me or replica of my personality in different bodies
What made me sad is that, Some introverts here took their state to be a defect, problem or an error which requires solution or liberation, i just can't comprehend it.
LeiderJa: The type of person I am. I long for solitude but after long periods, I begin to wish for human contact. Then I let people in. A friend or two squatting at my place or a girl.
Then very soon, the taste for solitude comes back. I begin to see faults in everything they do. Next thing is that I want them gone. And then POOF!, I'm back in the the box of silence.
This is so me! But the problem I've is that most of these people don't understand when to leave. Most of them will overstay their welcome and it frustrates me.[/quote
Now I just learn to tolerate them. I had a friend and cousin staying with me since December last year. I didn't mind since I could really use the company. And the alternative to them was to get entangled with another girl which I really didn't want (I dread that more than anything). My cousin left last month so it's just me and the friend now. Sometimes, some things he does really gets on my nerves but I've grown enough to realize that it's my desire for solitude that is making me nitpick. Above all, I make sure anyone staying with me must be USEFUL. I can't shout.
But mehn, that guy doesn't know when to stop talking!
Ajoboss: lol.bro I feel ur pains My first and only gf once told me she was having a crush on someone..'even though I didn't mind Few days leta she said she was no longer interested,without even giving me any reasonable reason... I just lock up,weytin man go do na...life goes on..lol Now na money I dey find,anytin Dah wee give me money I'm in..forget about woman first
Imogenn: My social anxiety over the years has become worse and worse I feel like it’s ruining my life. Yesterday I decided to challenge myself as my friend invited me to a church gathering. Most days I just go to work and go straight back to my room. Even at work I find it difficult to relate to my coworkers outside work related issues because I can’t hold a conversation without fidgeting and feeling uneasy. I have only two friends. Two, no more no less.
So I went to this church gathering and I felt like I was having a panic attack. My heart was beating super fast I just felt extremely uncomfortable. In the past I tried to drink alcohol anytime I go to social gatherings to suppress my anxiety, but I just hate how it makes me feel. So my friend is introducing me to people at the gathering, and I’m trembling on my words, my heart is beating super fast, I feel uncomfortable, I can’t look people in the eye, and I can’t hold a conversation without feeling like the world is going to swallow me up. I had to leave the event early, because I couldn’t take the shame. I saw how people were looking at me like there was something seriously wrong with me, I felt so stupid. I got home and starting crying, this anxiety is taking over my life, it’s ruining my life. I can’t do anything without overthinking and panicking. My friend called me and told me that I was just over reacting but I know she was just saying that to make me feel better. I’m 25 now and I just feel like it’s getting worse and worse as the years go by. All I do is lock myself up in my room, for how long am I going to continue like this? I just feel like my life is ruined.
. Then fast forward to ds moment. My mood just switch smh. Let's jzt say my server is down 