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Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by martolux(m): 7:21am On Jul 28, 2014
padeolu: Fling? What happens to abstinence

Today is my birthday. Show some love by liking my post.
I wonder how you are going to look if the number of likes you get is added to your age

1 Like

Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by Jambsupport(f): 7:21am On Jul 28, 2014
Op is saying nonsense with boldness.

2 Likes

Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by AdeniyiA(m): 7:28am On Jul 28, 2014
Acidosis: Marry a virgin with good morals and save yourself the headache.
smiley
i agree.
but d question is ,have i ploughed anoda man's wife? if yes, then i am not entitled to one.

4 Likes

Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by spicykev(f): 7:33am On Jul 28, 2014
I think its a very immoral thing to do. must we always copy the western world in everything?

1 Like

Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by phineas: 7:33am On Jul 28, 2014
So let me see if I get this thread,you all want the bride or groom to sit at home the night before their d day,watching tv?

I think the word you're looking for is debauchery not "fling" per say...

Not all bach eve's or bachelorette parties have that element,I've attended bach eves where friends of the groom male and female all had drinks and just talked about the guy into the nite,talked about politics,history,stuff the guy had done in the past,his ex gfriends(or lack of them) girls he tried dating and this babe in particular ... Nice classy restrauant too,others had some dancing and drinking till the groom passed out,for most of us,its great networking and opportunity to meet "our friends other single friends" they become known faces the fflg day at the wedding.For me its the part of the Nigerian weddings I love the most,cos its "we we " and a few new faces all in our age bracket partying with ok people.

The fllg day u "give to caesers what is ceasers" and comply with all the formal requirement of the naija wedding and reception,u act mature while at it...

Most plle will tell you this event with friends the nite before is the part of their wedding they enjoyed the most.so by all means don't let this thread stop anyone from throwing a bachelor or bachelorette party for their friends,and don't give it a "bad name" either the idea is a great one and does not necesarrily entail debauchery.

4 Likes

Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by jericco1(m): 7:35am On Jul 28, 2014
montestic: Its bad 4 a lady to have a fling few hours or a day to her wedding?

What if she gets pregnant in the process?

Even if she uses protection, what if d man finds out?

Even if d man doesn't find out,

what if thunder strikes her dead with d settled boyfriend on top of her?

Ladies, desist from flings during ur bachelloret eve.


ladies beware!!
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by padeolu: 7:40am On Jul 28, 2014
martolux: I wonder how you are going to look if the number of likes you get is added to your age
I'd rather appreciate if its added to my account (in millions).

1 Like

Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by Icecomrade: 7:54am On Jul 28, 2014
[color=#990000][/color]
abdulkayus:

So its OK to u for ur wife or even u to indulge in adultery as far as d other spouse doesn't hav knowledge of it?
Guy, u need deliverance
Guy your reasoning is very shallow considering the way you reacted to his comment.

Women are more crafty than you can imagine, what u think or feel will not change a thing they ve set their mind to do. As a matter of fact they will do it under your nose. Virgin or no virgin.

His opinion is that we should worry less with unneccessay imaginations that ends up ruining our happiness
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by unmask: 8:14am On Jul 28, 2014
the way Nigerians carry marriage on their head, like it is a crowning glory of sorts......yet they get married and live in misery for a life time......get a partner you can walk out on at anytime. .....you have a better chance of being happy........than getting married and live in bondage..........while when you are asked you start giving stupid excuses such as "for my children", "my pastor said......" and all the other rubbish

1 Like

Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by Odunharry(m): 8:16am On Jul 28, 2014
TRADELYN: grin
What's Bad is Bad no matter the kind of name it is called.

Eg: "Fling" "ordinary stealing...etc"

^ Happy Holiday ^

#RamadanKareem grin cheesy

>>>YourResearchMaster shocked
good morning bro
are u on whatsapp?
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by Teespice(f): 8:19am On Jul 28, 2014
mencade5: unrepentant biiitches everywhere.

Bring another man's pregnancy into my house. I will definitely know and gun you down with the pregnancy using shot gun.

If this one doesn't talk, who else will. All this your rants is becoming stale.

OP, this your one sided article get as e be. Nairaland of now eh.
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by Tymax(m): 8:27am On Jul 28, 2014
mencade5: unrepentant biiitches everywhere.

Bring another man's pregnancy into my house. I will definitely know and gun you down with the pregnancy using shot gun.
cheesy cheesy cheesy Guy u harsh o.
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by Tymax(m): 8:33am On Jul 28, 2014
LyfeJennings: Some loose ladies would still come here to defend their loose ways but it dont matter how U see it

IT IS A MAN'S WORLD..

Gbam!
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by Acidosis(m): 8:34am On Jul 28, 2014
AdeniyiA:
i agree.
but d question is ,have i ploughed anoda man's wife? if yes, the i am not entitled to one.
The most important thing is love/compatibility, bro.
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by VMLTDSMS(m): 8:46am On Jul 28, 2014
lalasticlala: A growing trend of bachelorette parties these days is having the final fling before the ring. Long a staple of bachelor parties, such hook-ups were the reason why it was an unspoken agreement among the groom and his friends not to talk about the things that happened on the night before the wedding. With the falling away of gender-based morality, women too have claimed for themselves the right to one last night of fun and freedom before walking down the aisle.
But at the end of the day, how wise is such a fling and what does a night filled with indiscretions indicate for the commitment that you are about to enter the next day reveling in the final moments before the lockdown of marriage?

Skewed notion of marriage

For most brides-to-be, a night of reckless abandon at her bachelorette party may sound nothing more than harmless fun; she is told that this is the night when she can get the final longings of singlehood out of your system so that she can approach marriage with complete seriousness.
But there is a problem with this approach which sees a bachelorette party as a last opportunity to enjoy freedom and marriage as a state of dreaded lockdown. If you too take such a negative view of marriage, then it is a sign that you should move cautiously towards marriage. Being joined in matrimony with the one you love is not a dreaded prison cell with maximum security banning all fun and freedom. On the contrary marriage with the right person can be the most freeing state two people can enter into. Not only do you have the freedom to love and be loved but also to know and be known. You are given the gift of intimacy and vulnerability that is impossible to achieve outside of marriage. You have gained a partner for life with whom you can explore, laugh, and enjoy life to its fullest. There is sexual, spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental freedom that is found only in marriage.

Is a fling really freeing?

On the other hand if you consider having a last fling, perhaps at your bachelorette party, as the final opportunity to enjoy freedom, you are giving into a backward thought process that is directly in opposition with the values of love and trust that make the foundation of marriage. Strippers, exotic dancers, drinking binges and sexual indiscretions are hardly freeing, no matter what movies show and your friends tell you. In fact such flings are just the opposite - they end up creating bondage and baggage that you will be taking into your new marriage – thus complicating a new relationship even before it has taken off. No less is the danger of sexually transmitted diseases. at a time when you are drunk and have lost all sense of judgment, it is unlikely you will remember to use yourself or insist that your sexual partner use protection – the consequences can be harsh, ranging from STDs to a baby that is not your future spouse’s.

Are you truly ready for marriage?

Most importantly if the need to have a last fling before marriage is so pressing to you, in all likelihood it means that you are not truly ready to get married. if you've been with someone for years and you're about to be married, what is the point of one final fling? The last thing that should be on your mind heading into your wedding day is getting the final impulse of singlehood out of your system - shouldn't you have got that out before you started dating exclusively or at least got engaged to your spouse-to-be?
If you are truly certain that this is the guy you wish to get married to, then on the night before the wedding, it is more natural to be thinking about how much you love him, how excited you are about the marriage, how you can be the best spouse possible, and the importance of the vows you are about to make. Those vows include cherishing, protecting, and sticking by your significant other for the rest of your life through thick and thin. on the other hand if on the eve of your wedding you want to do nothing more than having getting drunk on the lap of strange men and having a fling, then surely somewhere your innermost desires and conscious plans are mismatched – in other words you are not really ready for true commitment.

What does it augur for the future?

Above all, take a moment to consider what having a final fling bodes for the future of your marriage. If you can't control yourself a day or two before the wedding, then how can you trust your sense of self-control and commitment that you will be carrying into and throughout the life of your marriage. If you give yourself a hall pass for a fling on your bachelorette party or elsewhere, you will be making yourself allowances for later on, that may eventually hurt and ultimately, destroy your marriage.

What you can do about it

Society and your friends may tell you that it is perfectly acceptable, even expected, to have a night of carelessness to mark your passage into the married life. Such notions are largely perpetuated by vehicles of popular culture like movies, and television shows. But while final flings and their consequences make for hilarious or riveting situations on the screen, in real life you probably don’t need all that drama. in other words, if you are under pressure to beinvolved in something risque, keep in mind that you do have a choice. You can opt for the reckless night that undermines the man or woman you need to be and the sanctity of marriage, or you can choose to celebrate the finding of that one person you want to be with for the rest of your life. A good idea is to plan a joint bachelor/bachelorette party weekend where you and your fiancé can party together with some games, laughter and memories. Even if you do a party separately, ensure that you keep to things that you can take pictures of and tell one another about without shame or guilt. In the end, you will be glad that you had surrounded ourselves with friends who were full of integrity and helped to promote your marriage, and you will be thankful for a wise choice where you didn’t have to worry about what the other one was doing.There is no doubt that the responsibilities and commitments of marriage can be difficult to sustain; there are bound to be times where your vows are going to be tested and your love challenged. This is exactly why personal integrity and mutual trust are so important in holding two people together. The marital bonding doesn’t magically begin when you say, “I do.” It starts long before in the decisions you make, the life you lead, the people you surround yourself with, and the self-control you put into practice.
You can’t be careless one day and suddenly responsible and full of integrity the next. If you want your future marriage to be successful, you need to work on being the man or woman, husband or wife that you should be and that your future spouse deserves even before your wedding and that means staying away from flings and indiscretions.


Guys, will you still go ahead with the marriage if you discover that your intending bride actually went to settle one of her lovers/boyfriend, just a couple of days or few hours to your wedding?

ONE LAST FLING COULD RESULT TO SET-UP,DEATH,HIV/AIDS ,UNWANTED PREGNANCY OR EVEN CAUGHT.RE-THINK
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by mencade5(m): 8:55am On Jul 28, 2014
Teespice:

If this one doesn't talk, who else will. All this your rants is becoming stale.

OP, this your one sided article get as e be. Nairaland of now eh.

Stop bleating woman, i dont post to impress you. If you dont like it, jump am pass.

3 Likes

Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by Noblefreeman(m): 8:59am On Jul 28, 2014
remsonik: Op ur write up is to bash the women, why not tell men to desist from flings on the night of their bachelor's eve. Not only women should desist,men too should as the dangers u listed are evident in women who do such,men too suffer such dangers!!!

Women should stop trying to size up men.

At the end of the day, na una go lose pass.

‎​A̶̲̥̅ word is enuff.
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by TRADELYN: 9:11am On Jul 28, 2014
Odunharry: good morning bro
are u on whatsapp?

"Happi Holuda" grin
Sorry, I'm not presently active on whatsapp!

Kindly reach me on my private email address: fortebrandcorps@yahoo.com.

I receive mails in real time.

Regards!
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by Teespice(f): 9:12am On Jul 28, 2014
mencade5:
Stop bleating woman, i dont post to impress you. If you dont like it, jump am pass.

Stale.
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by lalasticlala(m): 9:17am On Jul 28, 2014
Acidosis: Marry a virgin with good morals and save yourself the headache.
smiley

where u c d virgin?
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by Acidosis(m): 9:19am On Jul 28, 2014
lalasticlala:

where u c d virgin?
Lol
I no be virgin hunter..

The statement is for troubled minds.
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by lalasticlala(m): 9:20am On Jul 28, 2014
abdulkayus:

GBAM. Bt dey will tel u virgin is dat and dat. Morality has been thrown to d dog. Virgins are dehumanised while fornicators are hailed.

Marry a virgin wit good morals and hav rest of mind. Shikenan.

a virgin today may turn out to b a dog tomorrow.

1 Like

Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by bank2k4real(m): 9:21am On Jul 28, 2014
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Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by Acidosis(m): 9:23am On Jul 28, 2014
lalasticlala:

a virgin today may turn out to b a dog tomorrow.

A dog today can never turn to a sheep.
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by somsom(f): 9:34am On Jul 28, 2014
montestic: Its bad 4 a lady to have a fling few hours or a day to her wedding?
t
What if she gets pregnant in the process?

Even if she uses protection, what if d man finds out?

Even if d man doesn't find out, what if thunder strikes her dead with d settled boyfriend on top of her?

Ladies, desist from flings during ur bachelloret eve.
Who really are you? A man or a woman? what happens to the man who sleeps with a woman on his bachelor's Eves? I guess he will be crowned king?
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by mencade5(m): 9:35am On Jul 28, 2014
Teespice:

Stale.
ur assertion stale girl.
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by Muzikluva(m): 9:50am On Jul 28, 2014
One last fling means you have been having flings and you will continue even after marriage,bride/groom.
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by IamforGod: 10:06am On Jul 28, 2014
undecided
bbulldog: i always enjoy bach eve.......fling or not, i will enjoy my life.... that one nightstand cant ruin ur marriage. it will rather make u fit for ur wife, enjoy ur life man

.

undecidedu talk like a 16 year old .how old are u?
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by Nobody: 10:11am On Jul 28, 2014
I don't think so ooo. But if you mean to flirt tat night and tap bums and fool around, then yes. But to go sleep with a guy that's not your fiancée hours before you get married. Omo, it's things like that, that we call flimsy, that ruins everything.

Make out, dance, smack bums and just be happy. But that's it. Go back home and get married. Well, me I go still smack bum even if I marry ooo. grin its harmless.
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by abdulkayus(m): 10:11am On Jul 28, 2014
Icecomrade: [color=#990000][/color]
Guy your reasoning is very shallow considering the way you reacted to his comment.

Women are more crafty than you can imagine, what u think or feel will not change a thing they ve set their mind to do. As a matter of fact they will do it under your nose. Virgin or no virgin.

His opinion is that we should worry less with unneccessay imaginations that ends up ruining our happiness


Guy u are speakin thrash, do u saw way he wrote before spewin d thrash u wrote above?
condoning adultery and being proud and don't care abt it is wat he meant.
Re: Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea by bigemmmybig(m): 10:12am On Jul 28, 2014
disloman: Hmmm.Ladies!C as u twist am.@OP:U were rightto an extend.



NO mind dem ladies., if na to com bash guys wit their usual all men r d same dem no dey forgt say dem dey biasgrin SHA oga op it goes both ways wink

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