Ever wish you had the answers to a test before you walked into the classroom? Maybe some of you did have the answers, but you better keep that to yourself. I took some really hard tests during my college tenure. An engineering curriculum will do that. And if you spent time in college you remember review days. The professor would walk into a class full of students (some of which I had never seen) and give some insights about the impending test. Miss review day, and it would be foolish to expect a passing grade. But it never failed. I would follow the guideline. I would study the handout. But on the day of the exam, the professor would put the exam on my desk…and there it was. A foreign formula or equation I had never seen. At least one I did not see on the study guide. Looking back, I realize something…the teacher did not intend for the study guide to be comprehensive. It was simply not possible to include everything from the required reading, class notes, and lectures. Such is the case with the church and marriage. I am grateful for the foundation the church gave me in regards to marriage. It was a good study guide. But there some things on the test I did not learn until marriage began. So, I am going to give you some answers to the test that some of you might not expect to see. I grew up in church. I spent most of my time with Christian people. I was told much about marriage. But these 7 truths about marriage I never heard in church.



1.) Sex is a gift from God. Explore It.

Make no mistake…God created sex. But through the years, God’s people have allowed Satan to steal this gift. Without a fight. I was never educated about sex…and I grew up in a Christian family. My framework for sex was built by my friends at school and the movies I watched. Big UH OH. I still struggle with enjoying the fullness of sex today because of the cloud of lies formed during my teenage years.

It is time for God’s people to take back the gift of sex. The lies surrounding it are ruining lives and ruining marriages. If you are married, let me challenge you to explore sex. Explore the fullness of it for the glory of God. Pray for sexual intimacy with your spouse.

Parents…it is time to stop allowing Satan to define sex for our children. Educate them. Start early. The average child is exposed to pornography at age 11. Eleven!! And many parents wait until high school to have “the talk” with them. At that point, you are not building a foundation for sex, but trying to destroy a foundation Satan has already built.


Church leaders…I am convinced of this. The situation in our culture today is too dire to allow parents to override you here. Talk about sex. If parents refuse to educate their children, then you do it. Do not let Satan beat you to the punch. A false understanding of sex is destroying our young people. It is destroying our nation. It is destroying our world. And we are doing nothing! Sex is a beautiful gift created by God for a man and a woman that have vowed to spend the rest of their earthly lives with one another. If you are married…open this gift and enjoy the fullness of it.




2.) There is more than one person out there for you.

Soul mates are made…not born. I am not sure where this idea of soul mate originated, but it is false. Maintaining a healthy relationship is more about commitment than perfection. Every person on earth has imperfections. And the reality is we could spend our lives with more than one person.


Tiffani (my wife) is not perfect. There are nuances about her that frustrate me. But I have realized these frustrations are really a result of my imperfections. I love her so much. And I love her more everyday. I am committed to her.

I meet too many young people that are waiting for something that is not real. “I just couldn’t marry her because she smacked her food.” “He just wasn’t the one…he had this weird twitch when he smiled. But I know my soul mate is still out there. I just have to keep looking.”

Or you might have just missed him or her. What if God does not want you to find a perfect person, but find an imperfect person that will draw you closer to Him? What if God desires you to marry a person with flaws to expose yours?

What if God wants to teach you the value and life found in committing to one person forever, not the exhausting pursuit of searching your entire life to find the perfect person?

Soul mates are made…not born.




3.) The first year of marriage is hard…really hard.

What have we done? Are we going to make it? Why is this so hard? All questions I asked myself many times during my first year of marriage. We were arguing. We were fighting. It was really hard. And every day I thought something was wrong. I thought we had a bad marriage. Nobody warned me about the first year. But take this as a warning…the first year of marriage is difficult. If you are in the first year of marriage and thinking about giving up…congratulations. You are now…married!

But let me encourage you…do not give up. Everyone struggles. You are not unique. Persevere. There are better days coming. Your marriage will get better. Do not walk out. If you walk out now you disqualify yourself (and your spouse) from years of joy. Stick with it.



4.) A spouse does not complete you

I hate you Jerry Maguire. You have brainwashed a generation of people to believe a lie. Spouses do not complete people. I bought this lie, and it wasn’t until I let go of any notion my wife could fill some void that I was able to truly love her. Until then, I was always frustrated. I expected Tiffani to do something she was incapable of
doing.

If you are empty, broken, or insecure, and you believe a spouse is the silver bullet to your problems…buckle up. It will be a bumpy ride. Only God can fill those voids. You will never be able to enjoy the beauty of marriage if your spouse’s job is to complete you.



5.) Marry somebody with similar goals, dreams, and passions.

Marry somebody that is a Christian, yes. But I would go even further. Marry somebody with similar passions and dreams. Now, I understand this breaks down at some point. People are not machines. No two people are going to want exactly the same thing in life. However, if you love foreign missions and your potential spouse hates going overseas, some tension will arise. Synergy is extremely important in a marriage. If your spouse has the same vision as you, they will understand your struggles and support your pursuits. They will encourage your walk. They will be empathetic. There is much power in two people living life with the same goals, dreams, and passions for life.



6.) Marriage is not for everybody.

Paul talks about this in I Corinthians 7. He tells the church at Corinth to remain in the situation they are in. If unmarried, then stay unmarried. If married, then stay married. He later says this… Even better? I never heard that in church. Maybe it is time for God’s people to accept the reality that God has not called everyone to marry. I have talked with young men and women that are so concerned with finding a spouse. It consumes them. And most of the pressure comes from…US. The church. Once a person reaches mid- twenties, we assume something is wrong with them if they have not married. They must have a terrible flaw.

“Bless your heart. You are almost 30 and not married? I know this must be hard!?”

Shame on us. I am worried many failed marriages are a result of people allowing the pressure of marriage to draw them into something God did not design them for. Marriage is holy and good, but it is also possible to follow Jesus without a spouse.



7.) The wedding day is a lie…don’t buy it.

I love weddings. I love officiating them. It is a rare moment where I get to make a divine proclamation that forever changes the status of two people. Powerful.

But in an increasingly individualistic, “me” culture, weddings create a potentially dangerous situation. “Every girl lives for her wedding day.” It is all about the bride and groom. Everyone looks at them. Encourages them. Congratulates them.

Many couples have bought the lie of the wedding day…it is all about me. But marriage is at odds with this mindset. A successful wedding day is one where everyone serves you. A successful marriage is one where you serve your spouse. The wedding day is a day where the spotlight is on you. Marriage has no spotlight. The wedding day is about saying a bunch of words that most couples never take seriously. Marriage is about putting the words into action. The wedding day is joyous and celebratory. Many seasons of marriage are about persevering and not letting go through the storms.

Embrace your wedding day. Prepare for it. Celebrate it. But do not make the mistake of believing the lie. After your 20 minutes of fame, the spotlight is gone forever. It is no longer about you (and this is a good thing…you will see).

[url=frankmatthewpowell.com/truths-sex-marriage-never-learned-church/]Source[/url]

So on point!

Interesting post!

Now explain this to me please, your point number 6:
1. I have always interpreted these verses with people who have no sexual feelings or for some reasons like disappointments, sexxual abuse history etc consciously decide not to get married.
Now how does a young, healthy women or men continue serving Christ without fornication if she or he is not meant for marriage?
2. How does one fulfill the sexxual urges if not married or even planning to be married?
3. Are you saying how they truly feel don't matter?
4. Are you saying in a nutshell sexx was not meant for everyone? Why then are most people given the urges to have sexx?

BluIvy: Interesting post!

Now explain this to me please, your point number 6:
1. I have always interpreted these verses with people who have no sexual feelings or for some reasons like disappointments, sexxual abuse history etc conciously decide not to get married.
Now how does a young, healthy women or men continue serving Christ without fornication if she or he is not meant for marriage?

To start with, that someone is not meant for marriage is not something signed, sealed and stamped in God's Book of Destinies. Like Jesus said, some people are BORN eunuchs, some are MADE eunuchs by men and some choose to be eunuchs for the sake of the Gospel. There are three reasons people may not marry:

1. They are naturally able to do without marriage.

2. Men or other outside circumstances made them either unable to marry or unwilling to marry.

3. They personally choose to not marry for whatever reason.


Since we are talking of Christians here, it is the witness of Christ that is the determining factor. For some people, marriage is a distraction from their work of testifying of Christ. For others, it is an enabler. There are also those for whom it is neither this nor that. Each one should tell for themselves.

That said, if you can do without marriage, you can also handle going without sex. If staying unmarried is by choice despite having a strong libido, then you may have taken up a burden and if it is in response to special instruction from God, then you'll need special grace to carry it. It is not wise to stay unmarried if you have a strong libido: that would be leading yourself into temptation.

BluIvy: Interesting post!

Now explain this to me please, your point number 6:
1. I have always interpreted these verses with people who have no sexual feelings or for some reasons like disappointments, sexxual abuse history etc consciously decide not to get married.
Now how does a young, healthy women or men continue serving Christ without fornication if she or he is not meant for marriage?
2. How does one fulfill the sexxual urges if not married or even planning to be married?
3. Are you saying how they truly feel don't matter?
4. Are you saying in a nutshell sexx was not meant for everyone? Why then are most people given the urges to have sexx?

Ok. I answered before you edited your post but I think my answer still covers your additions. Please see my previous post.

ihedinobi2:

To start with, that someone is not meant for marriage is not something signed, sealed and stamped in God's Book of Destinies. Like Jesus said, some people are BORN eunuchs, some are MADE eunuchs by men and some choose to be eunuchs for the sake of the Gospel. There are three reasons people may not marry:

1. They are naturally able to do without marriage.

2. Men or other outside circumstances made them either unable to marry or unwilling to marry.

3. They personally choose to not marry for whatever reason.


Since we are talking of Christians here, it is the witness of Christ that is the determining factor. For some people, marriage is a distraction from their work of testifying of Christ. For others, it is an enabler. There are also those for whom it is neither this nor that. Each one should tell for themselves.

That said, if you can do without marriage, you can also handle going without sex. If staying unmarried is by choice despite having a strong libido, then you may have taken up a burden and if it is in response to special instruction from God, then you'll need special grace to carry it. It is not wise to stay unmarried if you have a strong libido: that would be leading yourself into
temptation.

Sir, you are robbing me here with your response. What you just said is what many ladies know especially Christian ladies in their thirties.I had already mentioned my understanding of the word which is exactly what you have explained in detail.

Where I challenge you is where you tell ladies who are clearly "hot and bothered" that marriage is not for everyone, without even sitting them down to understand the "bother".
The same bible says "seek and you will find". My suggestion would be advising them the right way of seeking Godly partners e.g. through prayer etc. Your interjection seems to be more discouraging and could well mean since you are not married at this point and time in your life forget it, God has decided for you not to marry so whatever is getting you all "hot and bothered" just suck it up and be a good Christian. This seems to me as you are more discouraging them and making them feel even more pressure and start judging themselves negatively. Hence my questions to your post.

Please re-read what you posted and see if it does not sound completely judgmental & final? I think its about time that the church should learn to teach truthfully and with compassion. What if all the number of people you tell this to opt for other ways to meet their needs because they are now hopeless and end-up falling into sin, while their God ordained partners are around the corner? Only if the waited upon The Lord just a little bit longer?

ihedinobi2:
Maybe it is time for God’s people to accept the reality that God has not called everyone to marry. I have talked with young men and women that are so concerned with finding a spouse. It consumes them. And most of the pressure comes from…US. The church. Once a person reaches mid- twenties, we assume something is wrong with them if they have not married. They must have a terrible flaw.

Ok,there we go again.

[img]http://www.?aff=391[/img] [img]http:///?k_id=utibeokodi[/img]
Okay

What did op say about 5ex please? And he is still not enjoying 5ex still...upon been married and love Tiffany?

...Oooh too many Research works on my table...
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#I'll be back

Marriage

Following the thread like twirra

I even fear that thing called marriage
Made fp

Emergency services app just look at this topic We need this every body need this click on this link to see for yourself https://www.nairaland.com/1834606/1st-security-social-app-need

Thank God your story is based on personal experience, well don't forget different strokes for different folks. Some may have it easier than your and some may have it harder.


Nice write up man.. #bless

FTC

All the girls them dey dance galala
But this new dance don cause casala
For this dance you no need shakara
Oya whine your hips like a this
Like a that
Like a this
Like a that
To your right
To the front
And your yansh to the back
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
Oh girl what is the plan
We are planning to love your demands
Shey you want to dance…dance
You wan collect money from my bank
Oya scatter the town
Na the baddest wey dey in the town
When they see me around
Them dey scatter the dance like clown
Oya fi jo gba owo
Oya so jo di owo
Oya dance to the sound
like a this, like a that
All the girls them dey dance galala
But this new dance don cause casala
For this dance you no need shakara
Oya whine your hips like a this
Like a that
Like a this
Like a that
To your right
To the front
And your yansh to the back
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
Ileke idi yen o..idi yen o
Esu bo ko yoko….esu bo ko yoko
Owa degbo so na….owa degbo so na
Bebe idi yen o
Oya fi jo gba owo
Oya si jo di owo
Oya dance to the sound
like a this, like a that
All the girls them dey dance galala
But this new dance don cause casala
For this dance you no need shakara
Oya whine your hips like a this
Like a that
Like a this
Like a that
To your right
To the front
And your yansh to the back
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
But this new dance don cause casala
Shizzi…shizzi
Oya whine your hips like a this
Like a this
To your hand o
And your yansh
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
Ske le le le le le…lelele lelele
Ske le le le le le…lelele lelele
Ske le le le le le…lelele lelele

Everything you wrote here is so true, Ihedinobi2.

Ain't no such thing as soulmates... whoever came up with such a brain-befuddling idea should be shot!

The first year is hard... and so is every other year that follows... WHY?... Marriage is hard work.... really hard work.

I got that wedding day crap from the beginning... yet was caught in it's web

And No.6 makes me think.... matter-of-fact I've been wondering on that for some time now... marriage is surely not for everybody... and not for me?

Hmmm

No.6 has led many women to their hell on earth all because they are in their 30s or 40s and are not married. Hence they settle for any Emeka, Femi or Hassan that comes their way .

Op!The topic of ur thread is misleading cos most or all d things u mentioned r told xcept u didn't go 4 marriage counselling or ur own marriage b iyawo poly bag.

ehenn mama why you no tell me

am a Christian, but I lost interest immediately I saw marry a Christian...
what if u find harmony, love and trust in a non Christian?

Surah Al-Furqan (The Criterion)
1.Blessed be He Who sent down the criterion (of right and wrong, i.e. this Qur'an) to His slave (Muhammad) that he may be a warner to the'Alamin(mankind and jinns).
2.He to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth, and Who has begotten no son (children or offspring) and for Whom there is no partner in the dominion. He has created everything, and has measured it exactly according to its due measurements.
3.Yet they have taken besides Him otheraliha(gods) that created nothing but are themselves created, and possess neither hurt nor benefit for themselves, and possess no power (of causing) death, nor (of giving) life, nor of raising the dead.
4.Those who disbelieve say: "This (the Qur'an) is nothing but a lie that he (Muhammad) has invented, and others have helped him at it, so that they have produced an unjust wrong (thing) and a lie."
5.And they say: "Tales of the ancients, which he has written down, and they are dictated to him morning and afternoon."
6.Say: "It (this Qur'an) has been sent down by Him (Allah) (the Real Lord of the heavens and earth) Who knows the secret of the heavens and the earth. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
7.And they say: "Why does this Messenger (Muhammad) eat food, and walk about in the markets (like ourselves). Why is not an angel sent down to him to be a warner with him?
8."Or (why) has not a treasure been granted to him, or why has he not a garden whereof he may eat?" And theZalimun(polytheists and wrong-doers, etc.) say: "You follow none but a man bewitched."
9.See how they coin similitudes for you, so they have gone astray, and they cannot find a (Right) Path.
10.Blessed be He Who, if He will, will assign you better than (all) that, - Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise) and will assign you palaces (i.e. in Paradise).
11.Nay, they deny the Hour (the Day of Resurrection), and for those who deny the Hour, We have prepared a flaming Fire (i.e. Hell).
12.When it (Hell) sees them from a far place, they will hear its raging and its roaring.
13.And when they shall be thrown into a narrow place thereof, chained together, they will exclaim therein for destruction.
14.Exclaim not today for one destruction, but exclaim for many destructions.
15.Say: (O Muhammad) "Is that (torment) better or the Paradise of Eternity promised to theMuttaqun(pious and righteous persons - see V.2:2)?" It will be theirs as a reward and as a final destination.
16.For them there will be therein all that they desire, and they will abide (there forever). It is a promise binding upon your Lord that must be fulfilled.
17.And on the Day when He will gather them together and that which they worship besides Allah [idols, angels, pious men, saints, 'Iesa (Jesus) - son of Maryam (Mary), etc.]. He will say: "Was it you who misled these My slaves or did they (themselves) stray from the (Right) Path?"
18.They will say: "Glorified be You! It was not for us to take anyAuliya'(Protectors, Helpers, etc.) besides You, but You gave them and their fathers comfort till they forgot the warning, and became a lost people (doomed to total loss).
19.Thus they (false gods all deities other than Allah) will give you (polytheists) the lie regarding what you say (that they are gods besides Allah), then you can neither avert (the punishment), nor get help. And whoever among you does wrong (i.e. sets up rivals to Allah), We shall make him taste a great torment.
20.And We never sent before you (O Muhammad) any of the Messengers but verily, they ate food and walked in the markets. And We have made some of you as a trial for others: will you have patience? And your Lord is Ever All-Seer (of everything).
21.And those who expect not for a Meeting with Us (i.e. those who deny the Day of Resurrection and the life of the Hereafter), say: "Why are not the angels sent down to us, or why do we not see our Lord?" Indeed they think too highly of themselves, and are scornful with great pride.
22.On the Day they will see the angels, no glad tidings will there be for theMujrimun(criminals, disbelievers, polytheists, sinners, etc.) that day. And they (angels) will say: "All kinds of glad tidings are forbidden for you," [None will be allowed to enter Paradise except the one who said:La ilaha ill-Allah,"(none has the right to be worshipped but Allah) and acted practically on its legal orders and obligations].
23.And We shall turn to whatever deeds they (disbelievers, polytheists, sinners, etc.) did, and We shall make such deeds as scattered floating particles of dust.
24.The dwellers of Paradise (i.e. those who deserved it through their Faith and righteousness) will, on that Day, have the best abode, and have the fairest of places for repose.
25.And (remember) the Day when the heaven shall be rent asunder with clouds, and the angels will be sent down, with a grand descending.
26.The sovereignty on that Day will be the true (sovereignty), belonging to the Most Beneficent (Allah), and it will be a hard Day for the disbelievers (those who disbelieve in the Oneness of Allah Islamic Monotheism).
27.And (remember) the Day when theZalim(wrong-doer, oppressor, polytheist, etc.) will bite at his hands, he will say: "Oh! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger ( Muhammad).
28."Ah! Woe to me! Would that I had never taken so-and-so as a friend!
29."He indeed led me astray from the Reminder (this Qur'an) after it had come to me. AndShaitan(Satan) is ever a deserter to man in the hour of need."
30.And the Messenger (Muhammad) will say: "O my Lord! Verily, my people deserted this Qur'an (neither listened to it, nor acted on its laws and orders).
31.Thus have We made for every Prophet an enemy among theMujrimun(disbelievers, polytheists, criminals, etc.). But Sufficient is your Lord as a Guide and Helper.
32.And those who disbelieve say: "Why is not the Qur'an revealed to him all at once?" Thus (it is sent down in parts), that We may strengthen your heart thereby. And We have revealed it to you gradually, in stages. (It was revealed to the Prophetin 23 years.).
33.And no example or similitude do they bring (to oppose or to find fault in you or in this Qur'an), but We reveal to you the truth (against that similitude or example), and the better explanation thereof.
34.Those who will be gathered to Hell (prone) on their faces, such will be in an evil state, and most astray from the (Straight) Path.
35.And indeed We gave Musa (Moses) the Scripture [the Taurat (Torah)], and placed his brother Harun (Aaron) with him as a helper;
36.And We said: "Go you both to the people who have denied OurAyat(proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.)." Then We destroyed them with utter destruction.
37.And Nuh's (Noah) people, when they denied the Messengers We drowned them, and We made them as a sign for mankind. And We have prepared a painful torment for theZalimun(polytheists and wrong-doers, etc).

olasmith10: am a Christian, but I lost interest immediately I saw marry a Christian...
what if u find harmony, love and trust in a non Christian?

do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers else u'll face de consequences alone. God won't come to ur rescue.

I'm so happy because today is my birthday. Nairalanders show me some love. *winks*

From the op's supposition,i think he has spoken the simple truth with a non sentimental biblical justification. People,the truth is bitter and so i think thats why so many persons are finding it dificult to swallow

Well said... The reality many people choose not to see.

dagentility: I'm so happy because today is my birthday. Nairalanders show me some love. *winks*

happy birthday. llnp.! hip..hippipyyy.!! my cake

interesting

Only the married will understand what OP is saying.

Hapi Birthday 2u.

dagentility: I'm so happy because today is my birthday. Nairalanders show me some love. *winks*

dagentility: I'm so happy because today is my birthday. Nairalanders show me some love. *winks*

Wow, HBD LLAP, hurray. Where is the celebration holding?