thorpido: it's sad.Many wives need to up their standards.

Not even wives, up your standard as a girlfriend, You are dating he has several others, You are having unprotected se-x but you are happy that he "trusts" you enough and so you believe the others are "side chicks" you assume because he issleeping unprotected with you you are the main chick and even go ahead and try to grab him with pregnancy, fine you get pregnant but sometimes you get much more but they dont care, they will tell you at least they "got" the man even if it comes with HIV. They tell you its no biggie they can risk HIV to get a husband after all a lot of couples are living on ARV. So pathetic I tell you.

Godmystrength:


that is my suggestion.

Good. But when the tests come out negative, he could translate it to mean the last person he probable slept with is negative too. He may decide to continue with her. It won't stop him from cheating. So its back to what I said before that most men cheat. The question should how should women cope with a cheating husband?...

BellaSwan:

Good. But when the tests come out negative, he could translate it to mean the last person he probable slept with is negative too. He may decide to continue with her. It won't stop him from cheating. So its back to what I said before that most men cheat. The question should how should women cope with a cheating husband?...

If the test comes out negative, then the woman should congratulate herself. But that is not the end of it o. If she finds her way out of the marriage, i won't even blame her. Good riddance to bad rubbish. If she is still keen on continuing with the marriage, they will still need to go back for the test after some months and she must insist on using condom. If the man refuses, then let him vamoose. Let him go and marry one or all of his mistresses.....

Why do women have to learn how to cope with a cheating husband. How do you intend to cope with a cheating husband and how will that now protect you from inheriting some yanmayanma disease from the nigga?

No i disagree with you completely. The question should be ''How to stop cheating'', or ''How to be/remain faithful to your spouse''.

Eliminate divorce from your list of options

aisha2:

Not even wives, up your standard as a girlfriend, You are dating he has several others, You are having unprotected se-x but you are happy that he "trusts" you enough and so you believe the others are "side chicks" you assume because he issleeping unprotected with you you are the main chick and even go ahead and try to grab him with pregnancy, fine you get pregnant but sometimes you get much more but they dont care, they will tell you at least they "got" the man even if it comes with HIV. They tell you its no biggie they can risk HIV to get a husband after all a lot of couples are living on ARV. So pathetic I tell you.

So true.It's everyone who gets involved in sexual relationships.

BellaSwan:

Good. But when the tests come out negative, he could translate it to mean the last person he probable slept with is negative too. He may decide to continue with her. It won't stop him from cheating. So its back to what I said before that most men cheat. The question should how should women cope with a cheating husband?...

How about in the same way that husbands cope / deal with cheating wives?

Godmystrength: If the test comes out negative, then the woman should congratulate herself. But that is not the end of it o. If she finds her way out of the marriage, i won't even blame her. Good riddance to bad rubbish. If she is still keen on continuing with the marriage, they will still need to go back for the test after some months and she must insist on using condom. If the man refuses, then let him vamoose. Let him go and marry one or all of his mistresses.....
Why do women have to learn how to cope with a cheating husband. How do you intend to cope with a cheating husband and how will that now protect you from inheriting some yanmayanma disease from the nigga?
No i disagree with you completely. The question should be ''How to stop cheating'', or ''How to be/remain faithful to your spouse''.

U've spoken well. If the male folks believe cheating is a right, women should be smart n upgrade standards if married to one.. A cheating spouse should enjoy both the pleasure n consequences alone. A good life is too precious to be meddled with.

Ur picture sef u look like a sugar mammy

If one talks too much you get branded a divorce advocate.
I'm sure those women aren't kids. If they want to wait until they are infected before they stand up and do something about it,na their business be that.

cococandy: If one talks too much you get branded a divorce advocate.
I'm sure those women aren't kids. If they want to wait until they are infected before they stand up and do something about it,na their business be that.

Ignore the infections because men are polygamous by nature.

*Sigh*

A lot of Naija women need to start respecting themselves, but the society doesnt help matters. Even if a women tries to leave her abusive or cheating spouse, the first thing you will hear will be " Ha! where do you want to go? " "What makes you think the next man wont do the same thing?

The reason they say these things is because they are probably experiencing the same things in their homes, and we all know misery loves company.

One has to be determined, and strong-willed to leave a cheating or abusive spouse in Nigeria.



By the way, my friends lost their parents to AIDS. Full Blown. Their mum got infected by their Dad and died, and their Dad passed some years later.

carefreewannabe:

Ignore the infections because men are polygamous by nature.

Yes of course.
Abi you want to ruin people's beautiful marriages?
Or emasculate those ones who think being told to do the right thing is a dent on their manhood?

On a serious note though. The rise of infidelity in us women is getting high too. What could be the cause? And what's the possible solution?


I know men don't think twice before ditching a cheating wife.
Why women condone theirs and resort to sob stories later is amazing.

if I cheat I should be prepared for the consequences not so?
Or at the very least be repentant of my wrong doing,admit that it was wrong of me and not blame the man if he decides he can't go on

Instead of thinking it is my right or I'm made that way. And expect my spouse to endure it.

How does one cope emotionally with a CHEATING spouse? We need to tell ourselves the truth. Many people cheat.

cococandy:
Yes of course.
Abi you want to ruin people's beautiful marriages?

They are so beautiful you can't ruin them

Or emasculate those ones who think being told to do the right thing is a dent on their manhood?

Silence woman, men are polygamous by nature. A man is doing no wrong when cheating, it is his birth right.

On a serious note though. The rise of infidelity in us women is getting high too. What could be the cause? And what's the possible solution?

I think that female infidelity has different causes. Knowing how not to get pregnant could be one of them. I am not sure if there is a rise in female infidelity though. Have you got any numbers? I have no clue.

I know men don't think twice before ditching a cheating wife.
Why women condone theirs and resort to sob stories later is amazing.

I think the brain washing that men are polygamous by nature, that every man cheats, that it is normal and natural for men to cheat, that the next boyfriend / husband will cheat too is the reason why women even forgive serial cheating.

Men and women cheat everywhere, this is a fact, but I know no other place than on the African soil where male infidelity is so generally accepted and excused.

if I cheat I should be prepared for the consequences not so?

You yes, a man less likely.

Or at the very least be repentant of my wrong doing,admit that it was wrong of me and not blame the man if he decides he can't go on

Like I said, you yes, men are excused.

Instead of thinking it is my right or I'm made that way. And expect my spouse to endure it.

Like I said, you won't be excused but people will excuse a man.

The worst thing that could happen to a married individual is dying of AIDS .

beeevan: The worst thing that could happen to a married individual is dying of AIDS .

Ebola is the worst.

ladygogo: *Sigh*
A lot of Naija women need to start respecting themselves, but the society doesnt help matters. Even if a women tries to leave her abusive or cheating spouse, the first thing you will hear will be " Ha! where do you want to go? " "What makes you think the next man wont do the same thing?
The reason they say these things is because they are probably experiencing the same things in their homes, and we all know misery loves company.
One has to be determined, and strong-willed to leave a cheating or abusive spouse in Nigeria.
By the way, my friends lost their parents to AIDS. Full Blown. Their mum got infected by their Dad and died, and their Dad passed some years later.

Dats serious. Whether i get married or remain single, stay married or get a divorce - To hell with what the society says. Its all my choice and decision as i av deemed it fit. A time will come when the society herself sees no biggie in divorce.

carefreewannabe:

I think that female infidelity has different causes. Knowing how not to get pregnant could be one of them. I am not sure if there is a rise in female infidelity though. Have you got any numbers? I have no clue.
.

I frankly think that on the average,women cheat as much as men.
Ok maybe there's no rise in the occurence as one can't tell without a detailed research but there sure is a sort of boldness to it now.

BoboYekini: Ebola is the worst.

The stigma of HIV will never leave that family.

cococandy:
I frankly think that on the average,women cheat as much as men.
Ok maybe there's no rise in the occurence as one can't tell without a detailed research but there sure is a sort of boldness to it now.

Statistics from developed countries show that women cheat as much as men. I wasn't able to find any research on that matter from developing countries.

Deal with it your own way. People are different.
What works for one may not work for another.

*Some counseling will help them
*some seperation will help if they love each other and are wise enough to drop the outside partner and focus on themselves.
*Some turning a blind eye works for them especially if they don't have intimacy in the union anymore(mostly advanced couples fall in here)
*Or even if they are young resign themselves to God and pray they don't get infected while doing their best to win the cheating party back
*some divorce if the partner is a serial cheat

Etc etc

BellaSwan: How does one cope emotionally with a CHEATING spouse? We need to tell ourselves the truth. Many people cheat.

carefreewannabe:

Statistics from developed countries show that women cheat as much as men. I wasn't able to find any research on that matter from developing countries.

Women here are much more adapted to covering trails and tracks.

It was considered an ABOMINATION and is still is considered so in some areas.
Involving ritual cleasing,being stripped nak.ed in public,shameful divorce and some juju priests killing the children of such women in the name of the gods of their village

With all such consequences,you don't expect cheating wives to be careless about it.
I don't know if it deters anyone from cheating, but i know it drives them underground well well.

Set a thief to catch a thief.

cococandy:
Women here are much more adapted to covering trails and tracks.

It was considered an ABOMINATION and is still is considered so in some areas.
Involving ritual cleasing,being stripped nak.ed in public,shameful divorce and some juju priests killing the children of such women in the name of the gods of their village

With all such consequences,you don't expect cheating wives to be careless about it.
I don't know if it deters anyone from cheating, but i know it drives them underground well well.

Set a thief to catch a thief.

They are not celebrated elsewhere either

The polls are always conducted anonymously.

cococandy: Deal with it your own way. People are different.
What works for one may not work for another.

*Some counseling will help them
*some seperation will help if they love each other and are wise enough to drop the outside partner and focus on themselves.
*Some turning a blind eye works for them especially if they don't have intimacy in the union anymore(mostly advanced couples fall in here)
*Or even if they are young resign themselves to God and pray they don't get infected while doing their best to win the cheating party back
*some divorce if the partner is a serial cheat

Etc etc

IMO, this answers the OP's question.

^ ^ ^ ^ its not much of an underground thing anymore where I stay, they have clubs here sponsored by advanced women whose husbands are abroad or those estranged from their husbands. The younger women are now the green horns ready for grooming in the ways of the act.

Na Op dey talk divorce nw o! Laer person go come open thread say we too dey advice divorce. Diaris God sha!

beeevan: ^ ^ ^ ^ its not much of an underground thing anymore where I stay, they have clubs here sponsored by advanced women whose husbands are abroad or those estranged from their husbands. The younger women are now the green horns ready for grooming in the ways of the act.

which area is that? i'm going to lagos later in the month.

coogar:

which area is that? i'm going to lagos later in the month.

Do you want to confirm if sister sarah is involved in this clandestine activity ?

beeevan:
Do you want to confirm if sister sarah is involved in this clandestine activity ?

no - i just wanna go sight-see.

coogar:

no - i just wanna go sight-see.

I suppose you will see them standing by the side walks,with placards that read " Married and Searching, here we are Coogar " .

beeevan:

I suppose you will see them standing by the side walks,with placards that read " Married and Searching, here we are Coogar " .

tell me the area na......where am i going to see the placards?

coogar:

tell me the area na......where am i going to see the placards?

PHC water lines, am sure you will find your way. Wait ooo, i hope you have no plans of deserting your Utuku hut, i heard is quite safe from Ebola and the rams.