Breaking Satirical News
Washington DC, USA – President Barack
Obama at a press conference on
Wednesday said that it’s too early to send
the unapproved experimental drug
“Zmapp” to Africa where the outbreak of
Ebola has killed close to a 1000 people.
Despite the fact that Ebola is spreading at
its fastest rate ever, the President still
wants the drug to be fully tested on
Americans before using it on dying
Africans.
“We have to let science take its course.
The last time an experimental drug was
used it mutated into a deadly strain killing
over 90% of the planets population. We
don’t want that to happen to Africans,” the
President said at the African Summit.
It was a very well thought out strategic
decision made after top Washington
advisors including the National Security
advisor, White House Chief of Staff and
some Hollywood Directions watched the
blockbuster I Am Legend 2 disc special
with the President in the White House
situation room.
In the movie a drug created initially to
cure cancer … mutated into a lethal strain
that rapidly infected humans causing
them to turn into vampires that then bit
other healthy humans spreading the
disease globally. Although the newly
mutated humans had super strength and
fast reflexes, they reacted painfully to
sunlight.
“With the amount of sun in Africa it will be
very inhumane if the Ebola victims that
are going to die anyway suddenly
transformed into Vampires and had to
suffer under the African sun” said a
member of the World Health Organization
who did not want to be identified.
This type of thinking is what makes Africa
love the American Government so much.
Even though they might misspell the
name of African countries occasionally or
mix up “Niger” and “Nigeria.” At their
core, they do care about Africa.
They care so much that they are willing to
sacrifice the lives of 2 of their own citizens
while simultaneously putting the entire
city of Atlanta at risk of an ebola a
vampire outbreak. Just so they could
properly test out an experimental drug
before bringing it to Africa. Such
generosity, such sacrifice and such
bravery …
So while hundreds of Africans have died
from the disease and thousand other
infected Africans are pleading for the
American experimental drug … the
American government is patiently
observing Nancy Writebol and Kent
Brantley to see if they would “turn”
Vampire like Sam the dog in I Am
Legend. Who turned Vampire only
seconds after being injected with a similar
experimental serum.
And this is the American government’s
fear! Which is that Africans went treated
with the drug will get healed temporarily
but then turn into Vampires and start
biting each other. And this is a very
understandable fear … after all if a 1000
Americans in Atlanta were suddenly
diagnosed with Ebola … President Obama
would likely say “Wait…America is not
ready for an Ebola drug!”
Written By Okechukwu Ofili of
ofilispeaks.com

Just thinking...that's a lame excuse.

Bull shit