thorpido: Yes, that seems to be the issue between them.The fact that he wants to delegate.However,doing it at her discretion means it's going to be occasional.I guess the guy wants it to be regular.
They both need to reach an agreement on it.

kingviny: Thanks to you all. My friend intend to be paying all other bills. He even told her that when things get better for him economically that he would take her off that bill too.

He wants to be giving her money for bulk purchase of staple foods periodically so that he can concentrate more on saving for their un born kids. He merely want her to be handling stuffs like soup , soap and other minor but short term expensis like that.

Is it fair for modern ladies to want to be traditional when it comes to family finance and Kardasian when it comes to romantic treatment?

kingviny: Thanks to you all. My friend intend to be paying all other bills. He even told her that when things get better for him economically that he would take her off that bill too.

He wants to be giving her money for bulk purchase of staple foods periodically so that he can concentrate more on saving for their un born kids. He merely want her to be handling stuffs like soup , soap and other minor but short term expensis like that.

Is it fair for modern ladies to want to be traditional when it comes to family finance and Kardasian when it comes to romantic treatment?

Sophyrocks:

O.k that is fair enough. It shouldnt be a cause for alarm then.
BUT I hope he sticks to his part of the agreement. It seems the way he communicated it with her did not sit down well with her. I hope performing house chores aare not a big deal to him too.

bukatyne:

When he is providing everything?

Is the wife to be asleep?

If she does not want to contribute, no lele; she does all the chores herself

kingviny: A very close friend told me he asked his wife to be, to when they get married be handing soup matters while he will still be buying other foodstuffs and provisions. This he said is not in anyway to abdicate his manly responsibilities, he just feels in this modern age, a working woman should be able to handle some minor bills at home.

His fiance is refusing vehemently. He said she prefers the man providing the fund for everything and then she using her discression to add her money if and when neccessary. As it stands now, they are both on a collission course on this divergent school of thought about family finance yet, they want to tie the knot soon.

Great people of nairaland, what do you think of this issues? I have given him my 10 kobo advise but I will like to know what others think, especially, married nairalanders.

Thanks

Chaleeee: If they are both working, they shd pool their salaries into a joint acct and spend it together.

Godmystrength: doing it at her discretion might mean that it is going to be occasional but that doesn't mean she won't be doing some other things in the house.

e.g she might provide the money for the soup things today and the next time she might ask the hubby money for soup things maybe because she had stock the kitchen with all the foodstuff needed for the month. So which one is better?

If i am the woman i won't even argue at all abi how much will it cost to make a pot of soup?? Since he feels he is capable to do everything and lets see how long that will last.....What is soup matter in all of the family matters? Then the day there is no foodstuff, i will just cook the soup and then serve him like that if he thinks that is the only think i can be useful for.

thorpido: That's why they need to settle it.It seems the wife wants him to provide everything and she choose what she wants to do.

ElFenomeno1: Women are so tight nowadays its ridiculous....
Thank God for my wife.
I play my role as a man and hubby and she does her role extremely well.


OP, good luck to your friend ooo

thorpido: Delegate house bills?Well I don't think it right the way you put it.
In marriage,you have to understand that you are both in it to work for each other.The man should provide for the house and the wife contribute especially if she works.You could both come to an agreement on who provides what.

I'm concerned however about your friend and his fiancee.It seems they are both not right for each other.Seems there will be financial squabbles when they both marry.

cococandy: Yep it does.
If a family feeds well,in a month what they spend on groceries may well be more than other bills put together.
Best believe it.
Feeding isn't a minor issue.

ElFenomeno1: Women are so tight nowadays its ridiculous....
Thank God for my wife.
I play my role as a man and hubby and she does her role extremely well.


OP, good luck to your friend ooo

Godmystrength: Please what is the role as a man and hubby and the role as a woman and wife? I need to know honestly. i am only asking YOU because you mentioned it in your post.

Godmystrength: That is when there is enough money....Ask those men whose wives lock up their shirts every money to demand for ''soup money''

rolled: People laughting at soup things
You think every soup is cheap?
Have you ever bought a fish for 10k before and it would be used twice for soup
Then to cook a nice stew for a small family
Feeding nor cheap oh
Your friend needs to talk to future wifey in a more appealing way

crackhaus:
Indeed, poverty can make one argue over who buys ingredients for ordinary soup.

Godmystrength:

Godmystrength: Please what is the role as a man and hubby and the role as a woman and wife? I need to know honestly. i am only asking YOU because you mentioned it in your post.

kingviny:

I beg your pardon!

crackhaus:
Cut your coat according to your size. What are you doing with 10k fish when you're working on a tight budget.

As for stew, if your means will not accommodate expensive pork, beef, or chicken...buy cheap fish and add prawns or smoked fish to spice the stew up.

5minsmadness: The problem with marriages is that people don't marry for love anymore. If you love someone you are that person's mumu, you shift grounds for the person, you do the things that makes the person happy because invariably that's what makes you happy.

Now all we have are selfish people who feel the person they marry should outdo themselves for them. They want to be treated as princesses and kings, they want to be provided for , they want to be catered to. Nobody does anything just out of love anymore.

It was better when it was arranged marriages. This western ideology is whack. Our ancestors were wiser.

bukatyne:

People did not marry for love in our fathers' time either

What helped was that there was a stiff division of duty that everybody stuck by

aisha2: This is not a minor issue. "at my discretion" doesnt work in marriage oh, you both need to know what each other is bringing for better planning.
What does she intend to do with her money? Was she not feeding herself before she married him? As she is now, does she not have a budget for food or does she just eat selectively at her discretion?
Two partners are coming together to form a team, it is better to both know what we are bringing and where we stand before we start the partnership than to start discussing terms and conditions half way and at that point pay lawyers an arm and a leg. If the partnership will not sail its better and cheaper to know from the beginning.

Just imagine you want to set up a company, and one partner says I will buy the land, set up the office and you just buy office supplies and the other one says "No oh, i will only buy office supplies at my discretion" haba.

If you want to be a traditional wife dont come complaining when he acts like a traditional husband.

bukatyne:

LOL!