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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Im Confused (1583 Views)
Im Confused / Im Confused And / Im Confused, Please Matured Advice (2) (3) (4)
Im Confused by Chocrae: 9:52am On Sep 02, 2014 |
I started dating this guy a few months ago and we were both crazy about each other, we have done so much together this few months that if feels like we've been together for years, i have met his whole fam, hes met mine and yes we had something good going. he has changed all of a sudden, he gets angry over every little uneccessary things, i do all i can to make sure hes happy all the time but he doesnt notice it, i go out of my way and convinience to make sure hes happy but he does nt do the same, he doesnt show that he cares anymre in anyway. i cnt seem to think about what went wrong or where i went wrong, its very hard to deal with this because i have fallen in love with this guy, my heart is fully involved and don't know what ill do if i lose him. ive never been so scared of losing a guy like that before, i have been in long term relationships, 4 yrs, 5yrs, we break up, im hurt, i move on, but with this guy, its different, i am terrified of losing him. i cry my eyes out everyday because i cnt figure out what is going on with this relation, guys please what do i do? i try to get him to talk but he says hes fine. im scared that he has lost interest in me and wants to break up. im losing my mind and sanity. |
Re: Im Confused by vizkiz: 10:05am On Sep 02, 2014 |
Sister... me self am confused now o ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Im Confused by Rival(m): 10:15am On Sep 02, 2014 |
Chocrae: I started dating this guy a few months ago and we were both crazy about each other, we have done so much together this few months that if feels like we've been together for years, i have met his whole fam, hes met mine and yes we had something good going. he has changed all of a sudden, he gets angry over every little uneccessary things, i do all i can to make sure hes happy all the time but he doesnt notice it, i go out of my way and convinience to make sure hes happy but he does nt do the same, he doesnt show that he cares anymre in anyway. i cnt seem to think about what went wrong or where i went wrong, its very hard to deal with this because i have fallen in love with this guy, my heart is fully involved and don't know what ill do if i lose him. ive never been so scared of losing a guy like that before, i have been in long term relationships, 4 yrs, 5yrs, we break up, im hurt, i move on, but with this guy, its different, i am terrified of losing him. i cry my eyes out everyday because i cnt figure out what is going on with this relation, guys please what do i do? i try to get him to talk but he says hes fine. im scared that he has lost interest in me and wants to break up. im losing my mind and sanity. Are you ready for marriage? I mean, if he asked you to marry him today would you say yes? |
Re: Im Confused by Nobody: 10:25am On Sep 02, 2014 |
Chocrae: I started dating this guy a few months ago and we were both crazy about each other, we have done so much together this few months that if feels like we've been together for years, i have met his whole fam, hes met mine and yes we had something good going. he has changed all of a sudden, he gets angry over every little uneccessary things, i do all i can to make sure hes happy all the time but he doesnt notice it, i go out of my way and convinience to make sure hes happy but he does nt do the same, he doesnt show that he cares anymre in anyway. i cnt seem to think about what went wrong or where i went wrong, its very hard to deal with this because i have fallen in love with this guy, my heart is fully involved and don't know what ill do if i lose him. ive never been so scared of losing a guy like that before, i have been in long term relationships, 4 yrs, 5yrs, we break up, im hurt, i move on, but with this guy, its different, i am terrified of losing him. i cry my eyes out everyday because i cnt figure out what is going on with this relation, guys please what do i do? i try to get him to talk but he says hes fine. im scared that he has lost interest in me and wants to break up. im losing my mind and sanity. You need to take care of yourself and let this man be. He may be going through some things he cannot or does not want to talk about with you. It may work out and he may leave you things like this can go any way which is why your emotional well being is your responsibility so take care of yourself since he is acting like he needs a break give it to him and give yourself the gift of peace of mind where you are not chasing a man that seems to be withdrawing from you. In the interim you should start dating again that is if you feel you are up to it if you are not you can equally hibernate. Why are you terrified of losing him? do you think you will never love someone else like this again? or are you afraid you will never meet a man who will love you as much as he used to? presently this man is not loving you he is giving you grief is this the love you are afraid of losing? because it looks like you are holding on to a sinking ship don't sink with the ship let it go. If he comes around all good if he doesn't hey its still all good. 2 Likes |
Re: Im Confused by Pinkytracy: 10:29am On Sep 02, 2014 |
Love na by force ni? 1 Like |
Re: Im Confused by ammyluv2002(f): 10:41am On Sep 02, 2014 |
My dear, I understand how you feel and I'm so sorry . Well, no relationship is a bed of roses. There's always something to handle but what makes you different is the ability to handle your problems wisely. Guys, are very funny creatures you just have to device a means of handling them maybe he's going through some stuff and he doesn't want you to know about it. Guys can act very annoying when they are broke or going through stuff in their businesses, place of work , family issues, medical problems bla bla bla and if they don't want to bring you into the picture pls don't force it, trying all means to know what the problem is makes them angry so I suggest you just have to lay low. Give him space for now and see if he will miss your presence, If you guys talk for like 5 times a day maybe you should reduce talking to him once a day. If he truly love you, he will let you in when he's ready but pls don't push it .....sometimes, they act that way cause they love us and wouldn't want us to start thinking or something. |
Re: Im Confused by Melahou(m): 10:41am On Sep 02, 2014 |
my dear he need some space...you seems to be over choking him give him a breathing space...try and be seeing him jst once a wk or once in 2wks and reduce the way you call him on phone for the moment... then sit back and observe... |
Re: Im Confused by Rival(m): 10:56am On Sep 02, 2014 |
Melahou: my dear he need some space...you seem to be over choking him The part in bold seems closer to the truth! |
Re: Im Confused by tyson99(m): 11:01am On Sep 02, 2014 |
Free him a little bit and and see cos me sef hate choking no be small |
Re: Im Confused by Chocrae: 11:01am On Sep 02, 2014 |
Rival: how though? I don't disturb him, i don't ask him for anything, i let him do his thing anyhow anyway, i don't complain, i don't nag, he has his breathing space. so i don't know what you mean by im overchoking him. |
Re: Im Confused by tyson99(m): 11:07am On Sep 02, 2014 |
Chocrae:Do you guys see everyday ![]() |
Re: Im Confused by Chocrae: 11:13am On Sep 02, 2014 |
tyson99: no we don't at most 2 or 3 times in a week. |
Re: Im Confused by tyson99(m): 11:22am On Sep 02, 2014 |
Chocrae:Give him a space to miss you! |
Re: Im Confused by onstelly(f): 11:28am On Sep 02, 2014 |
Let him be for now, give him a lil space if he come around fine but if he doesn't life goes on |
Re: Im Confused by 100Cents: 11:31am On Sep 02, 2014 |
Chocrae: How many times do you call him a day or visit him in a week ? Are you a fine girl ? Are you employed or schooling ? How busy is your schedule ? |
Re: Im Confused by 100Cents: 11:36am On Sep 02, 2014 |
This works for me. If I find out I am loving too much. I cut calling for 2 or 3 days. When calling next, act playful and careless. He will start wondering what is making you so happy without him. Flirt with someone. Because if you keep pushing now, nah dumping things oo.. 1 Like |
Re: Im Confused by deneris(f): 11:39am On Sep 02, 2014 |
i also think she should just give him space....perharps the attention n care u are showing is too much... let him call instead.. i know it would be really difficult coz u are totally in love and all... but u have to get on with your life hang out with your oda friends.. the biggest mistake u wld make is tying your happiness to him.. even.when he calls dnt be too quick to ansa like you have been waiting all day.. find something to take your time.. you'll be ok |
Re: Im Confused by Chocrae: 11:40am On Sep 02, 2014 |
100Cents: LOL not to sound very cocky, but I am very pretty, and I am employed working as a software engineer. but i still make out time for him |
Re: Im Confused by deneris(f): 11:41am On Sep 02, 2014 |
i also think you should just give him space....perharps the attention n care u are showing is too much... let him call instead.. i know it would be really difficult coz u are totally in love and all... but u have to get on with your life hang out with your oda friends.. the biggest mistake u wld make is tying your happiness to him.. even.when he calls dnt be too quick to ansa like you have been waiting all day.. let him call twice or more.. if he wants to talk to u.. he'll keep calling..find something to take your time.. you'll be ok |
Re: Im Confused by 100Cents: 1:10pm On Sep 02, 2014 |
Chocrae: You sound smart. Heart break is not the end of ones life.. I no send heart break anymore because I know there was a time I was dishing it out to others every 6 months.. Have an abundance mentality. Even me I am here for you. A lot of handsome smart guys still dey if he phucks up.. |
Re: Im Confused by deneris(f): 1:37pm On Sep 02, 2014 |
100Cents:aww that a very nice thing to say.. ![]() |
Re: Im Confused by Rival(m): 1:55pm On Sep 02, 2014 |
Chocrae: You seem nice! Anyway, you didn’t answer my first question but I know that’s where you’re taking him to and he’s aware of it, but he’s not certain if he’s ready to walk that path with you by his side! It takes two to form a relationship and the both should be pulling in the same direction! And, I presume, this relationship is more important to you than the previous ones you’ve had, partly because you were younger and could not feel much of the impact of 2,3,4,5 years passing by; you probably were not even ready then to be paired for life! But, it’s all different now; you’re now a woman; you don’t want to spend another 2,3,4 years building a relationship only to watch it crash on the shores of reality and start all over again! This is when apprehension and desperation set! You want to do everything to keep your partner, even if it’s at your own detriment! You visit without invitation; you call every now and then without reciprocation; you make yourself available even when you’re not needed; you cook with your money without thank you; you always want to please without any effort made to please you in return; you make all the sacrifices without your partner reciprocating in a similar manner. Sooner than later, you’re taken for granted; your desperation is noticed and he feels being trapped and he puts on a defense. Like everybody has said, create some distance; stop displaying any signs of desperation; talk less when you see him or communicate with him; break appointments by informing him late that you won’t be able to make it. Since you're very pretty, have confidence in your beauty and ability to attract and make yourself look attractive! Wish you luck in your relationship! |
Re: Im Confused by Chocrae: 2:15pm On Sep 02, 2014 |
Rival: thanks a lot. in regards to your first question, the answer is yes. it is exactly what he wants and made his intentions known when we started dating, no time to mess around, no time to waste, we want our relationship to end in marraige, he clearly said he was ready for marriage, dnt know what went wrong. |
Re: Im Confused by bknight: 2:28pm On Sep 02, 2014 |
One wrong thing to do is to 'assume' things. Assumptions kill relationships faster than infidelity. That said, enough said. |
Re: Im Confused by Rival(m): 3:12pm On Sep 02, 2014 |
deneris: i also think she should just give him space....perharps the attention n care u are showing is too much... let him call instead.. i know it would be really difficult coz u are totally in love and all... but u have to get on with your life hang out with your oda friends.. the biggest mistake u wld make is tying your happiness to him.. even. when he calls dnt be too quick to ansa like you have been waiting all day.. find something to take your time.. you'll be ok @the part in bold. Ha, so you're the one who's been advising my friend's lady! I don catch you! ![]() |
Re: Im Confused by deneris(f): 3:25pm On Sep 02, 2014 |
Rival: ![]() ![]() |
Re: Im Confused by deneris(f): 3:28pm On Sep 02, 2014 |
Rival:lool STEVE HARVEY u should be relationship councellor |
Re: Im Confused by Elkewwty(f): 3:40pm On Sep 02, 2014 |
Better dont kill urself because of a man ![]() They do not worth it ![]() |
Re: Im Confused by Rival(m): 6:05pm On Sep 02, 2014 |
deneris: Wow! ...Maybe you would be the first lady to come for my services. ![]() |
Re: Im Confused by deneris(f): 6:21pm On Sep 02, 2014 |
Rival:or we could be partners ![]() |
Re: Im Confused by Nobody: 6:25pm On Sep 02, 2014 |
100Cents: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Im Confused by Rival(m): 6:31pm On Sep 02, 2014 |
Chocrae: You're welcome! @the part in bold. It's alright; just trace your steps back along the path of your relationship and evaluate the steps you've taken so far, using the little avice you've been given as a guide; allow sometime to pass and see how things play out! All the best! |
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