My people help me judge this matter. I'm a young man, mid 30s, 5th wedding anniversary a few days away. To prove how sharp I am, we had our 1st child before our 1st anniversary. Unfortunately he died before he turned one, thanks to Lagos residents doctors strike. But to prove how complete I am my wife was pregnant less than 4 months after this loss, trust me I would have put her in the family way a week later but we had to observe at least "2 months of silence" in honor of the deceased. My point in all this introduction is that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, complete in all departments. Now to the issue, my son is approaching 3 but due to some personal reasons which I cannot discuss in this section of nairaland, I have decided not to have another child. But people no go allow me rest, the way they disturb me you would think they want to give my unborn children scholarship. My younger ones no de help matter, one get 3 children another one wife just born 2nd child, but I no send, overtaking is allowed in this ministry. So my people, am I abnormal for deciding to have just one child, why people like football team?

My brother, there is nothing wrong in having one Child provided you're comfortable with it.

Times are so hard in the country and it's advisable to give birth to the number of children
you can carter for very well.

As long as your wife is okay with it, case closed!.

As long as u r happy with your decisions and the consequences of that decision

Lilimax: My brother, there is nothing wrong in having one Child provided you're comfortable with it.

Times are so hard in the country and it's advisable to give birth to the number of children
you can carter for very well.

As long as your wife is okay with it, case closed!.

. Actually my wife is not okay with it. Though she is part of the reason I have taken the decision. But she can't give me any good reason she wants another child aside what people will say if we have only one child.

pickabeau1: As long as u r happy with your decisions and the consequences of that decision

. My point exactly is, what are the consequences? Its like some people have children like spare tyre, incase one dies you have back up or "spare child"

olowodaddy: . My point exactly is, what are the consequences? Its like some people have children like spare tyre, incase one dies you have back up or "spare child"

That may seem crude to some but it is not less valid than your desire to have one child

Tradtionally kidshave been a support system for when parents are old, a means of achieving expansion however quality of the child is very important.

One child may be more successful than the remaining siblings. I have single children as friends who are doing very well

However the choice is yours

As long as you and your spouse are in agreement then no wahala..... But let your mother know that it is your decision o before they will start giving your wife different names


lol @

olowodaddy: My people help me judge this matter. I'm a young man, mid 30s, 5th wedding anniversary a few days away. To prove how sharp I am, .........trust me I would have put her in the family way a week later .......... My point in all this introduction is that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, complete in all departments.

olowodaddy: . Actually my wife is not okay with it. Though she is part of the reason I have taken the decision. But she can't give me any good reason she wants another child aside what people will say if we have only one child.

If your wife is not okay with it just get ready for another child.
The ball is always in the woman's court in this matter
Don't ask me how

I just had to comment because of your introduction, talk about confidence!!!
please just pity your wife and give her one more

I am sure that before this thread enters the second page, she should be pregnant if u so wish

Godmystrength: As long as you and your spouse are in agreement then no wahala..... But let your mother know that it is your decision o before they will start giving your wife different names

. Men NA those names my wife de fear pass. And I can't get mummy to see reason. She will just conclude that I have been jazzed or something has become wrong with my "completeness". My decision sounds very Unafrican. But I still wonder why people don't reason like me, no offense just wondering. I believe my son is better positioned to get the best in life because of this decision. Wonder why people don't see it this way and keep suspecting I'm not complete or the single child may die.

Multiply it u never can tell if next is gonna be our messi

olowodaddy: . Men NA those names my wife de fear pass. And I can't get mummy to see reason. She will just conclude that I have been jazzed or something has become wrong with my "completeness". My decision sounds very Unafrican. But I still wonder why people don't reason like me, no offense just wondering. I believe my son is better positioned to get the best in life because of this decision. Wonder why people don't see it this way and keep suspecting I'm not complete or the single child may die.

plus the fact that you lost your first child, she will never let you rest...

If your wife wants another child just get ready for another one because you will have it. Please don't ask me how she will do it.

bestestgirl: I just had to comment because of your introduction, talk about confidence!!!
please just pity your wife and give her one more

I am sure that before this thread enters the second page, she should be pregnant if u so wish

. Ya if I so wish. But I've not seen any reason to so wish. The only reason some people give codedly is just in case one dies. I might as well have 12 (with 11 girls cos I really planned to revenge wetin my inlaws do me with bride price) cos if one can die 10 can also die. My point is why should I so wish.

People who have just one child most times have medical issues and can't have another child. I think you should give another child a shot.
The fact that you lost a child won't make this go away and your wife is not in agreement too.She's the goalkeeper so the buck stops at her table.

Oga if there are no medical reasons or financial constraints as to why you don't want another child, then I urge to reconsider your stance and spray your seed into your willing and ready wife...if not for her sake, then do it for the sake of your 3year old son by providing him with some company.

i understand what you re going through. As long as your wife is on board, that's the approval youe need. It's better to have one child that you love than 5 you relly don't want.
Besides five children can perish together in an instant.

crackhaus: Oga if there are no medical reasons or financial constraints as to why you don't want another child, then I urge to reconsider your stance and spray your seed into your willing and ready wife...if not for her sake, then do it for the sake of your 3year old son by providing him with some company.

Geez man
If I hadn't already signed up in a convent, I'd be all over you

.

UjSizzle:
Geez man
If I hadn't already signed up in a convent, I'd be all over you

We can always un-sign you, ya know?

crackhaus:


We can always un-sign you, ya know?

We need to talk btw. Very important conversation


@OP. What does the wife want? I think you should give your kid a sibling though.

Oga abeg naa just one more if only to give your child a playmate. I smile when I see my daughter and her brother doing stuff together.You should have seen how he hugged her when she got back from school today

Even me that I have two I get asked everytime ' are you and your husband really really really sure you want just two kids' when I say yes they say I am not serious. My mum keeps saying ' so jack and Jill lo fe bi ' meaning ' so you just want to have jack and Jill' and she is convinced am not serious.

But I am.
Dead serious.I sincerely desire no more when I see babies I say 'awwwww so cute' carry them and hand them back to their mothers sharply before my uterus starts getting ideas

UjSizzle:

We need to talk btw. Very important conversation

Okay..

damiso: Oga abeg naa just one more if only to give your child a playmate. I smile when I see my daughter and her brother doing stuff together.You should have seen how he hugged her when she got back from school today

. Touching. You almost converted me. Is there nobody that wants to have just one kid like me out there? I'm beginning to feel like an alien. Or am an alien? if you are like me please come out and support a brother.

crackhaus:
Okay..

. What are two both of you up to? Trying to make more babies in a thread about making less babies? Hmm

You dont need to hve someone else to make a decision that is yours to make and yours to enjoy or suffer the consequences

olowodaddy: . Touching. You almost converted me. Is there nobody that wants to have just one kid like me out there? I'm beginning to feel like an alien. Or am an alien? if you are like me please come out and support a brother.

Lilimax: My brother, there is nothing wrong in having one Child provided you're comfortable with it.

Times are so hard in the country and it's advisable to give birth to the number of children
you can carter for very well.

As long as your wife is okay with it, case closed!.

Your submission is ok but I may not agree with the bolded if it is predicated on finance
When it comes to producing offspring it shouldn't be predicated on ones financial status
This is because if everyone should produce the number of children they can carter for financially then there are rich and famous in the world and our society that haven't done justice to that thought process(Bill Clinton and co comes to mind)

I don't think Op based his decision on finances but maybe on some other reasons best known to him
In a nutshell, finances may play a role in deciding the number of kids couples may plan to have but there are other important reasons to consider. This should purely be the prerogative of the couples involved.
Personally I would have loved to hear the Op's reason for choosing to have only a child, unfortunately he'd made it known that he doesn't want to share it openly here. However, I must warn that he accommodate his wife's choices too (or satisfactorily convince her) cos it seemed that this development was never agreed on between the two party at the onset.

crackhaus: Oga if there are no medical reasons or financial constraints as to why you don't want another child, then I urge to reconsider your stance and spray your seed into your willing and ready wife...if not for her sake, then do it for the sake of your 3year old son by providing him with some company.

Hmmmm!

pickabeau1: You dont need to hve someone else to make a decision that is yours to make and yours to enjoy or suffer the consequences

. Abeg no vex, but what are those consequences, I assume U mean negative consequences. Cos right now I can only see the good sides of having just one kid. Please enlighten a brother.the reason I opened this thread is because I was actually contemplating another kid. But I paused because I found out the only reason I was thinking about it was because of what people were saying not because I saw anything good in having more kids

damiso: Oga abeg naa just one more if only to give your child a playmate. I smile when I see my daughter and her brother doing stuff together.You should have seen how he hugged her when she got back from school today

Even me that I have two I get asked everytime ' are you and your husband really really really sure you want just two kids' when I say yes they say I am not serious. My mum keeps saying ' so jack and Jill lo fe bi ' meaning ' so you just want to have jack and Jill' and she is convinced am not serious.

But I am.
Dead serious.I sincerely desire no more when I see babies I say 'awwwww so cute' carry them and hand them back to their mothers sharply before my uterus starts getting ideas

That's very funny ma'am.
Long life for the two kids though

olowodaddy: . What are two both of you up to? Trying to make more babies in a thread about making less babies? Hmm

Hehehe... she's my sister in the Lord.

IrishKez:
Hmmmm!

You agree right?

olowodaddy: . Abeg no vex, but what are those consequences, I assume U mean negative consequences. Cos right now I can only see the good sides of having just one kid. Please enlighten a brother.the reason I opened this thread is because I was actually contemplating another kid. But I paused because I found out the only reason I was thinking about it was because of what people were saying not because I saw anything good in having more kids

I did not mean it in a negative light
But every decison has a consequence.. whether good or bad

Nothing ventured; nothing gained..

It is YOUR decision, YOU will live with the rewards; YOU will live with YOUR wife,..its YOU

Synonyms of consequence

1. outcome, issue, upshot, sequel