when i was in my first year in school, in had a very good GP... in fact i was the second in my department. The same continue in my second year... i became a scholar which i was in secondary school. Everybody just want to associate with me because i am very social despite i am a book worm. All through my first and second year i was never in a serious relationship... i just play along.
In my third year, i meet this beautiful lady who caught my attention and i was able to get her easily because she knows i am a smart intelligent guy... We started and it was so sweet because she was a very nice girl who was always there... we spent most time having fun because the relationship was still fresh and i also want to do things to please her... During the process my time of reading was limited... I assisted her more in her academic work and less for mine but we are not in same department...
I was shocked when i checked my first semester result... my GP dropped, i was very angry and i decided to quit the relationship but we talked about it and i let it go... i told myself i will try and improve on my reading skills... In my second semester my result was better but it was not what i have targeted to obtain... It was so obvious to me when my friends i was doing better than top me in my third year... that is when i concluded my relationship is taking me down... i thought playing around and not having anything serious is the best because that is what i did in my first and second year and it work excellently..
I decide to have a break in my first semester fourth year... no visitation, no romance, no calls or messages... it really affected her but i just have to do it to top my class which is my priority... that semester in had the second best GP... I so smiled and said i can still come out the best. i later settle with her and apologize. I knew my relationship with my girlfriend was my barrier.
I am at the verge of quitting the relationship so i can have my full time to invest in my academics so i can be at the top... i told her last week and she was crying... i just don't want to hurt her because she has been a loving and caring lady... she has stood by me in so many ways but i just want to go back to be the scholar i have always been... i am confused. i don't know if quitting the relationship is the best decision... i really need your advise...

would you be rather waffed Well I really don't think its the relationship. If its Loving as you say, the Their should be a helping...

My advice is that you shouldn't quit the relationship, but rather rule out visitations for the semester...Also, try limiting your calls to her....It helps...Once/ twice( an hour) a week might be a good idea, cos you seem like the type who usually get distracted easily.
You might end up regretting your decision if you end the relationship,( that's if you aren't serious with the relationship), because I bet your girl (if she's in her right mind ), wouldn't take you back.....She might love you so much to be considered your second priority,( due to school commitments), but she might not love you to the extent of accepting been completely ignored/ dumped by you, all to come back begging.

@ glitest i understand your point... limiting my calls and visitation give her the impression am doing something behind her... i have tried to make her understand but she felt i should give her more attention than my studies..

Looking at things in the long run I think it's best you quit it. You don't know if you'll still be in the relationship 5 years from now after the detriment of your grades,something else could crop up but on the other hand (as long as you stay focused and continue kicking a$$ in exams) your degree won't be going anywhere. Who knows,you guys could back together later on but for now school should come first.

butanep: @ glitest i understand your point... limiting my calls and visitation give her the impression am doing something behind her... i have tried to make her understand but she felt i should give her more attention than my studies..

Well, then its best to end the relationship.

You asked if its right? Why Not!!!!!
MY dear IT is VERY RIGHT!!!..
You can't hit different spots on a wood and expect maximum impact than when you concentrate on a particular spot!!
Guys that aim for the TOP in academics, sacrifices a lot to get there and remain there!!!!
hey listen, do you KNOW generations that will be motivated by your scholastic achievements by the time you finish with flying colors( first class), do you know how much you will inspire the sleeping giants within them, do you know great doors that will be opened unto you when you eventually succeed, do you know his you will be fulfilled at the end of the day having achieved your dreams in school...obviously you don't know!!!!
....I don't want you to regret later, especially for not trying hard enough or for getting distracted by a FLIMSY, TRIVIAL, INCONSEQUENTIAL Relationship!!!!!
....You have to take the pain Now, Study hard, leave that GIRL alone and allow her to study too, and BE the BEST you want to BE!
when the time come even the girl will be PROUD of you!!!!!

.........take this as a brotherly advice!!!
.........I see you at the top..

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OP, you did the right thing abeg! Your purpose of going to school is to come out with a good result and become useful to yourself.
The relationship was not helping your purpose so it was a distraction.
Good decision you made and it's good you both talked it over.

Maybe you could jxt try minimizing..

LikE if you think he should quit!!

Like if you think he should not quit!!!

@ MoyoGeneral... I really appreciate your advise... It makes me feel relief... I think total concentration is what I need right now... I will try my possible best to stop this emotional truma from affecting my studies... I think I should just serve one master which is my books for now... My Fear is that I might Just be hurting an innocent girl that ve showed me so much care and love... Even though its affecting my studies... Am afraid of loosing her

Thorerah: Looking at things in the long run I think it's best you quit it. You don't know if you'll still be in the relationship 5 years from now after the detriment of your grades,something else could crop up but on the other hand (as long as you stay focused and continue kicking a$$ in exams) your degree won't be going anywhere. Who knows,you guys could back together later on but for now school should come first.

a million likes

U realy wana b d best?jst 4get her nd errtin bou her...u wnt regret it i promise

When u've chased success and achieved it, gals will chase u pants down!

haftob: When u've chased success and achieved it, gals will chase u pants down!

Divsy: U realy wana b d best?jst 4get her nd errtin bou her...u wnt regret it i promise

MoyoGENERAL: You asked if its right? Why Not!!!!!
MY dear IT is VERY RIGHT!!!..
You can't hit different spots on a wood and expect maximum impact than when you concentrate on a particular spot!!
Guys that aim for the TOP in academics, sacrifices a lot to get there and remain there!!!!
hey listen, do you KNOW generations that will be motivated by your scholastic achievements by the time you finish with flying colors( first class), do you know how much you will inspire the sleeping giants within them, do you know great doors that will be opened unto you when you eventually succeed, do you know his you will be fulfilled at the end of the day having achieved your dreams in school...obviously you don't know!!!!
....I don't want you to regret later, especially for not trying hard enough or for getting distracted by a FLIMSY, TRIVIAL, INCONSEQUENTIAL Relationship!!!!!
....You have to take the pain Now, Study hard, leave that GIRL alone and allow her to study too, and BE the BEST you want to BE!
when the time come even the girl will be PROUD of you!!!!!
.........take this as a brotherly advice!!!
.........I see you at the top..

My brother I urge you to listen to these posts I quoted for therein lies the answer you seek.
Do not be afraid that you might be hurting her feelings for you are doing both her and yourself good.

Emm op wetin u dey fink again naaa... shey u say u luv her wella, marry her naow den una go born pikin den una qo com dey carry pikin go lectures... sigh... dis generation.
















on a more serious note @op ask ur self; what's d purpose of my going to school? answer dat question correctly n u will know what to do

hay bro, m kinda in your shoes , also taking same steps , though mine includes other students m helping with tutorials ( math / stat.) .

you see , socializing / helping others ain't bad at all , but one need to weigh the lost & gains from it . then apply wisdom in time management . though To some first class under-grads./ grads. relationships was never their problem , still got dia top grades .

but to be honest with you , girls could be a distraction oo ( speaking from experience ) ... since you've explained things to her , not that you don't love her anymore , but for the good your academics & hers also , its good you keep a distance for now . ( yes, i understand its not that easy , but " NO SUCCESS WITHOUT SACRIFICE " & doesn't mean you should completely snub her oo , you could still assist her in ways you could , but your books /God should be your ultimate priority , .

"IF THY RIGHT HAND /EYE (GIRLFRIEND ) WILL OFFEND (DISTRACT) THEE PLUG IT OFF( QUIT THE RELATIONSHIP ) ,ITS BETTER TO ENTER THE KINGDOM OF GOD (FIRST CLASS )NOT HAVING A MEMBER OF YOUR BODY ( HER) THAN ENTERING HELL ( LOW GRADES / MERE PASS DEGREE ) WITH YOUR COMPLETE MEMBER ( G.F) "

"seeth thou a student diligent in his jackings , he shall before A's he not stand before mean (common) B’s."

BTW: WATCH "Destiny for sale " ( a christian movie ) . it said it all ...a case similar to yours , i bet you wont regret it .

hope this helps .?

-$h@/0m-.

Thorerah: Looking at things in the long run I think it's best you quit it. You don't know if you'll still be in the relationship 5 years from now after the detriment of your grades,something else could crop up but on the other hand (as long as you stay focused and continue kicking a$$ in exams) your degree won't be going anywhere. Who knows,you guys could back together later on but for now school should come first.

talking from experience ryt??

benbuks: hay bro, m kinda in your shoes , also taking same steps , though mine includes other students m helping with tutorials ( math / stat.) .

you see , socializing / helping others ain't bad at all , but one need to weigh the lost & gains from it . then apply wisdom in time management . though To some first class under-grads./ grads. relationships was never their problem , still got dia top grades .

but to be honest with you , girls could be a distraction oo ( speaking from experience ) ... since you've explained things to her , not that you don't love her anymore , but for the good your academics & hers also , its good you keep a distance for now . ( yes, i understand its not that easy , but " NO SUCCESS WITHOUT SACRIFICE " & doesn't mean you should completely snub her oo , you could still assist her in ways you could , but your books /God should be your ultimate priority , .

"IF THY RIGHT HAND /EYE (GIRLFRIEND ) WILL OFFEND (DISTRACT) THEE PLUG IT OFF( QUIT THE RELATIONSHIP ) ,ITS BETTER TO ENTER THE KINGDOM OF GOD (FIRST CLASS )NOT HAVING A MEMBER OF YOUR BODY ( HER) THAN ENTERING HELL ( LOW GRADES / MERE PASS DEGREE ) WITH YOUR COMPLETE MEMBER ( G.F) "

"seeth thou a student diligent in his jackings , he shall before A's he not stand before mean (common) B’s."

BTW: WATCH "Destiny for sale " ( a christian movie ) . it said it all ...a case similar to yours , i bet you wont regret it .

hope this helps .?

-$h@/0m-.

ya....d movie was shot in my skul,..same story tho, but different end!

hulkhiharitoz: Like if you think he should not quit!!!

nope.......i dnt tink u shud quit. Quitin can make u gt d lowest CGPA ever cus who knws? Maybe ur partner is ur motivator.
.
.
And since z a long loving relationship, da simply means dat both of u get along and understands each other very well so z very easy for u to channel d relationship well if z not moving in d right(desired) direction. So dat at the end, u will not only get a high CGPA in ur academics but also in ur relationship.......(first class)^2

happykidArotiba: ya....d movie was shot in my skul,..same story tho, but different end!

yea bro... so cool ...watched it like 2yrs back.

You guys re really wonderful... I will evaluate the point and draw a reasonable conclusion... I will try to buy or see if I can download the movies u guys suggested... Am feeling little relief now...