Hello guys, matured answers only please...cheers
ok so theres this friend of mine who has been dating this guy for a while now. she constantly calls me to complain and cry on the phone because of her man. she claims they both like each other but the guy is trying to to make her change in ways to suit him. he constantly talks about how he wants to be treated and spoken to etc, even tho they like each other, their personality clashes a lot. they have a few things in common and have quite different views and opinions about certain things. now, my friend says that she tries all her best to do things to make this guy happy but it isnt enough, he has to complain about something. he wants her to be this perfect girlfriend image he has in his head and because of their different views about things, it doesnt happen that way, and the way she acts and behaves tends to piss him off. he tells her how he wants her to behave, speak, act etc and she is willing to make all these changes because she likes him so much, but what im worried about is...is he being selfish for trying to turn her into someone that she isnt, even if she changes, will she be able to maintain the changes, oh i forgot to say, he always threatens to break up if she doesnt change. yes shes not perfect, she makes few mistakes, she has attitude problems, anger problems, and is willing to change. i think he is trying to make her a better person but she feels theres too much pressure on her to become perfect that its starting to freak her out

Whoever is supposed to be her man will accept her as she is.
He will encourage her and not pressure her.
There are lots of great people out there.
If she is one of them she'll meet the right person.

I was gonna say what attracted the dude to the girl if they have so many differences then you said she has attitude and anger issues, to my best knowledge doe I stand to be corrected no guy likes hot tempered girl for a gf talkless wife. It's to her best interest she changes for the very good. I also think the manner in which the dude is trying to change her counts, changing a habit of many years cant end over night, he also has to be tolerant and let her understand reasons why she needs to change.

This is What I've been Laying Emphasis on
That's the Essence of Dating, Before Marriage.

Stop Trying to Be Perfect For Anybody. All you Need is Someone Who Falls in Love with your Imperfection.

"Man know thy self."..simple

She that wears the shoe knows where it pinches. however, I wonder what he saw when he first said he loved her. Whatever that was, i again wonder if he no longer sees the same thing.
Your friend need to know that she is a person, a well constructed individual with very peculiar identities. No man can or should expect to keep his own unique identity while trying so hard to remodel another person to suit himself. The virtues of mutual respect, honesty, openess, love and care (whether tough or tender) must be upheld be all parties.

No let person carry you shine for any reason. You aint married until you are married.

mako007: I was gonna say what attracted the dude to the girl if they have so many differences then you said she has attitude and anger issues, to my best knowledge doe I stand to be corrected no guy likes hot tempered girl for a gf talkless wife. It's to her best interest she changes for the very good. I also think the manner in which the dude is trying to change her counts, changing a habit of many years cant end over night, he also has to be tolerant and let her understand reasons why she needs to change.

she told me that her ex warned her that if she doesnt change, she wnt find a man to marry, and also no man will tolerate 0.1% of the shiiit he tolerated from her.

Chocrae:

she told me that her ex warned her that if she doesnt change, she wnt find a man to marry, and also no man will tolerate 0.1% of the shiiit he tolerated from her.

very bad, she knows what to do, she knows she has to change not just because she wants a man to put a ring on it buh for the matter fact that she will raise a family. Me thinks she shld go for some counseling, and if she wants a free service she shld find a church that does good bible studies then she relay her problems to the bible teacher, trust me they would patiently talk sense into her and with constant meetings/classes she'll improve overtime. Just my thoughts.

She needs to lose that nasty temper of hers. I don't blame the guy. I can't tolerate a babe with anger issues. I guess she's rude to him most of the time that's why he wants a change in the way she talks to him. The guy dey try.

My advice is actually for the guy. He should decide if he can live with this for the rest of his life cos that babe is not ready to change. If he can't see himself tolerating this forever, then now is the best time break up.

Let the babe go and fix herself.

I wonder what the attraction was in the first place..What happened to loving 'unconditionally'?

Truthfully, relationships like the one your friend (abi na you sef ) is into almost do not work out. She shouldn't try to please him just to get his approval.

Nevertheless, if she really do not have an acceptable character, and she knows it, and she's willing to change, then, by all means she should.

There are two types of changes, physical changes and mental changes. If it is a physical change then I am not in support. If it is mental, that is if it has to do with character issues. Then she should oblige him.

its still called "dating" if she can't take it anymore let her walk away.

u can't remodel a person. certain minor flaws can be corrected and improved, but you can't change a person's personality.

She needs to get off that relationship ASAP. No time.