So I am good friends with a Nigerian lady...with it maybe leading to something more.

We live apart but we talk by phone. Everything was going well, I was sending her some sweet texts and it seemed like we were becoming comfortable talking and closer.

I did not call for a week or so because I was busy with work. I told her my phone was having problems. I last told her that I would call soon. When I did call she sounded down and sad. Like upset.

English is my first language, but when I asked what was up it sounded like she said 'when will you call'. I asked her to repeat and said that I did not understand, that I was confused. She seemed to make an excuse, that she was sleeping, and we ended the conversation.

Next day, I called her. She seemed very abrupt, like she didnt want to talk. I was a little disappointed and asked if she had been upset when I called the day before, she said 'I was busy' but sounded like she was making an excuse. She said 'I will call tomorrow'. She has often said this and then not returned the call. I was disappointed as I was looking forward to talking and said 'ok, odarro'. Before I could hang up she said 'your phone is working now abi'...as if to hint, I said 'yes'.



Have I upset her or something. Things were going so well, I dont get it.

You were active with her and already led her on kinda,yet you didn't talk with her for a week and you expect her to just smile and receive you warmly when you called back?
Your excuse wasn't good enough for the kinda closeness you already created

Ohhh ok. I see. it is hard not living near her. I find it difficult not being able to read her daily.

I care about her very much and I like her a lot. But I do not want to bother her. I do not want to pester her daily when I know she has a busy life too.

She could have said something, if she wanted me to call her more, she could have just said 'I want you to call me everyday'. I cannot just guess how she feels.

When she says things like 'I will call you later' and then does not call, it makes me think that I am bothering her, that I am a nuisance.

I never intended to make her sad. I pray that she is not upset.

God knw say I dey confuse here... Abeg person fit break am down for me...

Eya. Great! She is ignoring me now. Why are women so annoying!

I don't understand why she cant just tell me the issue so we can deal with it...instead of playing these stupid games.

If omly i attended my french lessons i would have been in a better position to understand u bro.

Last bullet: start doing those things that made u people closer at the beginning

Mr man if u wanna save your relationship take your azzzz out and go see her! Talk the talk, make love to her, rearrange her thoughts pattern... trust me, physical presence works like voodoo..

Cheers

Xaviers: Mr man if u wanna save your relationship take your azzzz out and go see her! Talk the talk, make love to her, rearrange her thoughts pattern... trust me, physical presence works like voodoo..

Cheers

They aint dating yet

No we are not dating. I text her and apologised. She sounded really sad and upset when I called earlier in the week. The first thing she said was "When will you call" she sounded quite upset. Since then she has been cold and blocking my calls.

I text her and apologised for what I thought I had done and she flashed me. I talked to her and she was acting like normal, not very close or engaged with the conversation like she had been. She said "why would I be mad with you?".

Just when I thought we were getting somewhere, she starts talking to me like a pal again.

I cannot understand her. She is back and forth so quickly.

Maybe it is time to give up on it.

The whole thing was a bit of a pipe dream anyway, but I really liked her a lot.

u "liked" her a lot? u probably didn't like her dat much if dat like is now "liked" already. u didn't call her for a week. wat do want with her? do u want to date, just be her friend, wat? tell her ur intentions. right now, u r confusing each other. she's into u but not sure if u are too cuz of ur actions n dat's y her attitude changed N now u r not sure if she likes u.

From your post, I guess She is the moody type (hot and cold)...... She is upset with you because you raised her hopes and dashed it..... Maybe its time you meet face to face and let her know your plans for her because she is having doubts about your intentions. My opinion tho

Tings are okay.

I have another question.

About a year ago, I sent her some money. It was her birthday. I had spent my birthday with her and her family all made a big fuss celebrating it with me. I knew she and her family did not have a lot of money and I remembered her mentioning that noone had ever made that kind of fuss with her for her birthday. Aftee we relocated apart, I remembered this and transferred some cash to her on her birthday. She did not ask for it. I did it because I wanted her to feel special. I had feelings for her but this was seperate from that.

Now her birthday is coming up again and she is mentioning it. I really don't like it. To me the gift/money was kind of a one off, a thank you, based on what she had said. I am a little worried that she is expecting money again, and what would that prove...that she is stringing me along?

I think I should not send anything. Treat this like a test. Surely if she was only after the money and not me, she would push me out of her life quicker than you can say odabo. If she is serious, it would not matter.

What do people think?

I think it is simple. Wish her a happy birthday give her all the messages and love that I can.

...if she mentions money at all...I will lay it out simple, "you can have a money gift if you want, all you have to do is ask for it".

If she says I want you to send me money, it will be clear. I will send her it and then never talk to her again.