I have this problem and i will like Nigerians to comment on it,I was once a drug addict,I was on cocaine and in the process used to steal from my dad,but four years ago,I went to rehab,thanks to a good man I met and has since taken me as his son,through this same man,my dad got a job overseas with the United Nations.My probelm now is that despite it's been four years since all those things,my dad still does not trust me.I am the first born son of my dad and I feel i have some rights that should exclusively be mine,but he does not give me those rights.There was a time that he shipped a car to Nigeria and he asked my younger brotherr to leave his school and go take delivery of the car,when he asked our dad why I can't go collect the car,since I work in Lagos,our dad said "I cannot trust that boy with even my shoelace".Those words hurt me alot and now am thinking of just letting him be.But someone told me that for me to be a success,I need my dad.
Nigerians what do you think?should I leave him or just continue to "hope" that he will come to his senses someday?

Your father will reach out to you one day with open arms, for now you need to give him time to build his trust for you. You are a part of him that he can't ignore for ever. Continue to make contact with him and in time you might earn his trust again. Good luck kiddo!

you are the one to prove to your dad you can be trusted. it is not the other way round

Give him time everything will fall into place. Don't push or rush him to trust you.

I feel you like mad. No matter how 'mannish' we want to be we all want the approval of our parents. And in your case, the need for the validation is much more. i'm also a first son/born so i do understand that part.

My advice to you would be to work out your own 'salvation with fear and trembling'. We all make mistakes and we have to live with the consequences of it. If you can do well in treading the part that you've set your mind to, that is all that matters. I guess your father too made his own mistakes and he will soon come around once he sees in you are standing firm with the decision to change for good.

Don't sorrow over it. Like i say 'Shit happens'. Just keep loving yourself. That matters a lot.

You lost his trust once and you need to gain it back. It won't automatically come back but with time and a little more effort from you; He will come around.

@poster
trust is earned,not given free,you cant make him trust you or say what you like,remember he had to pick up the pieces while you were destroying the trust,,while you might think you have done more than enough for him to trust you,hemight have forgiven you but not totally forgotten and like others have said you just do your thing and he ll eventually come around,

I can understand your hurt. I think your dad has not dealt with what you did to him. He might not even have forgiven you for the heartache and fear you put him through. I am sure he even felt that he was a failure because of the things you did. I know you have changed but I still understand your dad's apprehension.

Your situation is non worse than kids who weren't even on drugs but yet ruined their parents life with their sticky fingers.Perhaps he's still holding on to the fact that you did "drugs".I think self development and strive towards independence will become obvious to your dad when he notices hence the trust will assume automatically.
Yes, your dad might play a part (not necessarily crucial) in your success so to believe you can't make it without him is being naive and weak.Bobo your Dad is just your biological father he ain't the controller of the universe.So take the challenge,set for a transformation which you already have and continue to do your thing.

If your son did what u did 2 your dad, u will feel d same way.

Trust has to be earned.

Earn it!

pontifex07:

. . . but four years ago,I went to rehab,thanks to a good man I met and has since taken me as his son,through this same man,my dad got a job overseas with the United Nations.
. . . Nigerians what do you think?should I leave him or just continue to "hope" that he will come to his senses someday?

Your father got his job overseas through you, yet cannot find it in his heart to forgive you Either he has a short memory or he is just 

Keep up your relationship with the rest of your family and like you said, I too "hope" your dad would come to his senses someday soon.

By the way, you don't need a father to be successful in life, some dads can even be surplus to requirement.

It is unfortunate this is happening to u. . . . .

I think it's going to take some time for ur father to trust u again. . . ,

be patient. . , . . it's going to be a gradual process. . . . . .