Five months ago, Taye had proposed to Nenadi, one of my best friends in the most romantic way possible. Well, to some it was really romantic. You see Nenadi and Taye were intellectuals or ‘i-too-know’s whichever you like. They attributed their chemistry to this ‘i-too-knowism’; and so when Taye had proposed by spelling out the words ‘Will you marry me?’ in their scrabble game while they were on holiday in Dubai; it was romantic by Taye standards. Anyway, five minutes later, Nenadi was on the phone with me and we were screaming our earlobes to disfunction. Finally! There would be a wedding, and at the right time too. I was beginning to feel like I hadn't had any owambes in a while so what better way to get out of my rut than with my best friend’s wedding. Before I go on, I realize I haven’t introduced myself, this kind of thing happens often when I'm giving gist. My name is Aisha Usman. I've been friends with Nenadi for as long as I can remember. We've convinced some people that we are cousins because we both come from Southern Kaduna, Nigeria. So back to my gist; after months of running around the wedding had finally come and we were to leave in a couple of hours for the airport to leave Lagos for Kaduna. Nenadi's parents had refused to compromise on the location. They insisted it would be back home or they wouldn't attend thus the cross country journey.
Most of the guests had already arrived Kaduna, most had flown down the day before because everyone knew the hassle involved in going from Lagos to Kaduna especially during the holidays. It was the busiest weekend of the year; the weekend before the New Year and Taye, the prompt one of the two love birds had drummed it into everyone’s ears that we had to get to the airport on time so we wouldn't miss our flight but as they say, opposites attract. Nena, as I called her, couldn't be on time or organized to save her life. I’d come to accept that lateness was in her DNA. So as usual, she managed to delay everyone and we ended up leaving the house an hour twenty minutes to the scheduled time for the flight.
We eventually made our way through the forest of thorns that is Lagos traffic and got to the airport with all of thirty minutes before the flight was scheduled to take off. We checked in and found our way to the waiting lounge. Just as we got settled in the lounge, we heard the announcement that our flight would be delayed due to bad weather. The woman’s voice must have triggered something in Nenadi’s head because she jumped suddenly. We all turned to look at her as she shrieked ‘Aisha, I forgot the shoes!’
Before I go on, there is a story behind these shoes. Nena was a shoe lover. When she passed her exams, she treated herself with shoes. When she lost weight, she treated herself with shoes but this particular pair was special. For the past six years, we had both put away some money every month so we could comfortably afford a pair of Louboutins for our wedding days which would set us back more than a hundred thousand. Before Taye proposed we had saved about eighty thousand each but when the marriage became imminent Nena bought hers. So you see why these shoes couldn’t be left behind;

To see the rest of this week's story and follow the series visit [http://legalwatchmen..com/2014/09/operation-get-to-airport.html/]

See shoe wahala
Lol.
NkyOtk, that was good,


Have you seen the E- Workshops for writers
https://www.nairaland.com/1897222/nairaland-e-workshop-writers-main

thanks Divepen

NkyOtk: thanks Divepen

you are welcome ma?

I didn't even know how to react. I didn't even have the opportunity to. Other late boarders pushed me aside so they could show their own boarding passes. Then Nena called, I managed to explain to her how I had fought my way and made it in the nick of time just to find out I didn't have my boarding pass with me. She was too stunned to react. Taye immediately took the phone and calmed her down just to prevent a serious bridezilla moment from taking place. “Aisha, I'm so sorry for all the stress. Don’t worry; we’ll name one of our kids after you.” I figured that was good payment for my labour of love. It must have been at this moment that the terrible idea entered his head because the next thing I heard was “I don’t really know any transport companies that would have buses going to Kaduna at this time but……. Alex just told me he was going to drive down.”
Before I could even reply, my mind had gone from “This Taye boy must be mad. He wants to put you in the same car with that psycho for thirteen hours! ” to “But even though Alex is probably not well; you’ve always had a crush on him. Doesn't that make you slightly insane as well?” Luckily, the sensible part of me got to speak first. “Taye, not in a million years, not when pigs fly, not even when Mama Joy learns to sweep. Never!” I could hear him laughing now; I hoped for his sake that it was a joke. How could he even ask me to survive a thirteen hour journey with Alex! The same person that glued the clothes on his back to the building of his secondary school with super glue to prevent the bulldozers from tearing it down. Nenadi and I had already established that he must have left a sizeable part of his common sense at Customs when he was coming back into Nigeria after getting his University education in Manchester. We had been classmates since Secondary School and we always had this crush on each other but no kind of crush would make me overlook the fact that he sometimes acted like things were controlling him. Nena took the phone back and started to plead and promise the heavens and the earth if I would just drive down with Alex. “Aisha, please now. You know I would never allow this but I beg you. I feel guilty for making you miss the flight. You don’t even have to talk to him, but you know he’s not always psycho. Taye even said he’s a lot cooler now and he’s always been funny so it might even be fun”. How could these people be telling me he was cooler. The fact that he hadn’t even started his half a day journey said otherwise; but I knew I couldn’t say no. “Tell Taye that for this, I would name your first two children and you know I have a thing for the name Boniface”. She laughed and said Taye would call Alex and have him pick me up. They were about to take off and so they promised to call immediately they landed.
It was amazing how my day had just taken a turn I would never have seen coming. I had driven through Lagos like a bat out of hell and still missed my flight and now I was about to embark on the longest road trip of my life with my longtime crush/psycho. I took a cab home and waited for Alex to come by so we could get going. It was about 1:00pm before I heard a horn at the gate. My luggage had already gone with Aisha and Taye so all I really needed to get to Kano with where the shoes and my sanity.

To see the rest of the story, go here [http://legalwatchmen..com/2014/09/driving-with-crazy.html]

Operation get back to update this story.

Like Clockwork, episode 3 is out!
BROTHER BUSHMEAT AND PASTOR PILFERER.


I sat up and looked out the window and saw Alex walking towards me. At that point, my heart was racing; it would have given Usain Bolt a run for his money. Alex was a couple of en steps away and the Lagosian in me kicked in “Aisha! What are you waiting for? Come on, lock the doors!” This was no American movie, I wasn’t about to stare at what I was afraid of till it came and caught me. My eyes were still fixed on Alex walking towards the car as I reached towards the driver’s seat and locked all the doors . I felt some form of security when I leaned back in my seat. Alex got to my side of the car and tapped the window wanting to talk to me; I didn’t even look his way. He made to open the door but it wouldn’t budge. “Aisha, good. You’re finally awake. Open the door.” or at least I think that was what he said. “Alex, where are we and what are we doing here?” He looked at me like he suspected I was sleep talking “What do you mean? Weren’t you the one complaining about hunger? I couldn’t find a restaurant anywhere but I saw this bushmeat stall and managed to convince the man to roast some so you wouldn’t die in my car.” It was at that point I looked around. We were packed by the roadside and the bushes were on just one side, the animal I had seen was just one of the few others arranged in front of the shack to attract people to buy and the red cloth and cutlass were probably from the last hunt. It was then it dawned on me that my sleep and hunger combined were even more delusory than the alcohol I was always so proud to admit I didn’t take.
Alex was still at the window waiting for me to come out of the car. I opened the door and came out to him looking at me probably wondering if I was the one manifesting. I was too embarrassed to say anything and I definitely was not about to say “Oh, I thought you had brought me to a ritualist.” So I kept mum and followed him towards the stall that had nothing but firewood and a shaky looking stool. When I got there, the man roasting the meat begrudgingly offered me a seat. There was just one so Alex stood. The man looked at me, still frowning and said “See, I nor dey roast meat for people for hia oh. This firewood suppose to be for me to roast for only me one this night but this your friend no gree me rest if I nor roast for una. So una go pay for my firewood.” After hearing Brother Bushmeat’s (I never found out his real name, so Brother Bushmeat will have to do.) complaints I felt really bad. I had been lambasting Alex in my head even before I got into the car and he had been nothing but a gentle man since the beginning of the journey. He had even convinced Brother Bushmeat to roast meat just so I could have something to eat. I looked up at him and he was seriously studying the roasting of the meat. I was secretly happy I was taking the journey with him in the end.
When the meat was finally ready, Alex in his chivalrous manner paid Brother Bushmeat who smiled from ear to ear. He didn’t seem very upset about his firewood once the crisp naira notes were in his hands. We went back to the car to continue our journey. We still had about ten hours to go. It was nearing 5:00 pm when we got back on the road. It was obvious from the lack of taste in the meat that Brother Bushmeat was no Masterchef. There was no flavor within miles of the food but I was too hungry to be picky. After I’d eaten a bit and my body had returned to its normal state, I realized I hadn’t said a word to Alex since we got back into the car and decided to break the silence. “Thanks for convincing the man to roast the meat. Hunger and I aren’t very good friends.” He smiled and looked away from the road long enough to say “How does it taste?”
I didn’t want to complain so I said “Oh, it’s nice”. Which wasn’t such a stretch from the truth, I mean at least it wasn’t raw. He knew better though “Ahh, Aisha so you still tell these your’ nice- nice’ lies?” I burst out laughing because a memory had just crept into my head. Back in high school, it was on one of those days when the teachers had gone on a rampage and were forcing everyone to find another person to cut their hair. Yewande, one of those shakara girls had found her hair at the mercy of some Js3 boy who had never handled a clipper in his life.
Click here to continue the story [http://legalwatchmen..com/2014/09/driving-with-crazy-episode-3.html]

O boyii eee

HERE COMES THE BRIDE? Episode 4

We had the car packed by the side of the road. Turned off to save the small amount of fuel we had left. No fuel, no food, no money and in the middle of nowhere. This was not what I pictured when I imagined my best friend’s wedding.
The only thing more disturbing than our present situation was MY present situation. Alex hadn't said a word to me since we found out Pastor Pilferer had robbed us. Well, yes it was slightly my fault; but how was I to know we were giving a ride to a smooth criminal, an incredibly smooth one oh. As in, I was stealing glances at this guy the entire time he was in the car and I never saw any indication that he was doing any funny business back there. Anyway, we were stranded and Alex wasn't speaking to me. We stood at opposite sides of the car. He was probably thinking about what to do next while I was busying myself with how much I could make if I sold the events of the trip as a movie script. At that point, I really felt like I was on the trip from hell!
I decided to act some drama to get Alex's attention and maybe even sympathy. So the forming began, I started to groan. First lightly, then more frequently and even louder. Hehehe and of course, he noticed and asked even though half heartedly.
"Are you ok?"
"Please open the door, I need to sit."
More forming. Now I had his attention.
“Ok, Aisha but please you can't get sick on me. That’s about the only thing that hasn’t happened today."
And in true Naija girl fashion I turned it on him.
"So, now you're talking to me?" He heaved a sigh and went
"I just needed to think for a bit."
I was beginning to sound too cheesy for my own liking so I just dropped the act.
"Look, I'm sorry for making you pick him up. I guess being wicked is good a times."
He looked up from the keys he'd been playing with.
"Come on, Aisha. You know I'm not wicked. You don't even believe that."
I didn't but I couldn't reply because at that moment my phone rang. I don't know which was more puzzling; that my phone hadn't been stolen or that there was enough network to receive calls.
"Aisha, Where are you people? I'm about to go mad! Are you still far off? "
At this point, we were at least seven hours away and without fuel but Nena didn't need to know that.
“We are a few hours off but we'll be there soon. What’s bothering you? "
“It’s Ola! Imagine, she came down here and she hadn't done her hair; she hadn't even fitted her dress. When I complained yesterday she said she hadn't had the time in Lagos and that she would sort it out....".
Now usually I'm all for listening to Nena's complaints. I actually envy her ability to totally pour out her heart to someone. I've always been more self-reliant. I guess growing up with boys does that to you ;but today I was just tired, even a bit sleepy and I wasn't even sure of the next time I would see civilisation so I was zoning in and out of the conversation.
"... Aisha, are you still there?"
"Uhh, yeah. I couldn't hear for a second there. "
“Wait, where exactly are you? Because it doesn't sound like you're on the road and Alex's phone is off. "
Alex had put off his phone to save his battery; incase we couldn't figure out a way to get back on the road and needed to call for help but I still couldn't tell her what was going on. She could actually have a panic attack. She was ‘ajebutter-ish’ like that.
“We just stopped for a bit."
"Probably for the best, it'll be dark soon and I don't think it's smart to drive then. By the way, you sound well so obviously Alex hasn't slipped into any insane delusions yet.”
I laughed out loud. Alex turned to look at me. If he didn't hear what she said, he was about to know we were talking about him." He's been good so far but don't get excited until you see me sha."
"I told you! Wait, mumsie is calling. Hopefully Ola is ready to get her hair done now. Please you guys should drive fast oh. You have to be here before the wedding starts. You know daddy's 11 is 11. Be safe oh. Please say hi to Alex for me. Tell him I said to be careful 'cus he's carrying fragile goods. "
“Do you mean me or the shoes?” She laughed her mischievous laugh." You know what I mean." The yeye girl was worrying about her shoes while I was stuck in the middle of nowhere.
“Why didn't you tell her?” I’d forgotten for a moment Alex was in the car as I was mentally communicating with my future husband and plotting how to pay Nena back. There had to be some shade in there somewhere." No, she has enough to worry about already. We'll find a way to get there before 11."
"11? Is that when the wedding starts? I hope we make it in time. "
“Well, we won't if we keep sitting here. It looks like there's a small town ahead. Let's lock up and see if we can, by some miracle, get some fuel there. "
We walked about forty-five minutes and it was almost eight o'clock. The 'let's walk into the village' idea didn't seem like such a good one now. This was becoming a trend, bad idea after bad idea. The people we had tried to explain our dilemma to hadn't even listened to us, maybe because Alex was bringing grammar into the matter.
"Please madam, we were robbed and ran out of gas. Please could you lend us some of yours and the good Lord would bless you for your deed." Or it was "Excuse me young man, do you by any chance have a jerry can of fuel to spare. Please, from one citizen to another."
And don't forget the accent oh. I mean these people were villagers in the middle of nowhere. There was not even a school in the vicinity.
"Alex, abeg your Harvard English isn't helping us. Let me do the talking from now on." After I'd told him, I figured it might have been a bit harsh but he wasn't taking it too badly so I didn't bother with an apology. At the end of the day, my molue-certified Yoruba didn't get us any help either. For those who don't know Molue-acquired yoruba or molue-certified Yoruba is The yoruba dialect which is acquired during commute in Lagos buses. One lady was kind enough to tell us that some men were gambling nearby and maybe Alex could win us some money or maybe she said some men were gambling nearby and Alex could sell me off. I chose to believe it was the former though. We found the place that was supposed to be a casino; it looked more like an abandoned kiosk though. For a second it looked like there was hope until Alex confessed he had never gambled a day in his life.
"Were you really expecting me to say I was known in a bar somewhere for my gambling skills?
“I don't know jor. How can't you know how to though. I mean my brothers gambled all the time. Yusuf always cheated and won and I was always his accomplice. "
“Wait, if you cheated with your brother; then you must know how to play? "
“Well, no, not really. I mean, I cheated with Yusuf and I knew the basics but they never really let me play. Something about girls not gambling and gibberish like that. "
“Aisha, you'll have to be a guy tonight oh. we need to leave here by morning and we need fuel. And you need to win. Let them not catch you cheating oh. Those men look vicious. "It was remarkable how fast the accent and grammar had disappeared. I turned to look at the vicious looking men. Believe me, he wasn't exaggerating.
“You have to be there oh. You can't leave me in this place and you have to be ready to run when I've gotten enough money ." So it was agreed. Worst idea yet.
To finish the episode, go here [http://legalwatchmen..com/2014/09/driving-with-crazy-episode-4.html]

THE ROAD WE TRAVELLED Episode 5

The deafening sound rang in my ears. I had to wait a few seconds for the ringing in my ears to stop. Somehow, we had ended up with our backs against a tree. Alex had obviously regained his hearing before me because he reached out to help me up so we could get back to the car.
‘Alex, what’s that on your hand? Oh Jesus, you’re bleeding!’
________________________________________________________________________________

I could only stare. Was this some kind of practical joke? April Fools’ or Candid Camera? Or did this huge man actually think I was going to marry the pot-bellied old man sitting and gambling in there? As if he heard me, he looked at me sternly and said “Iyawo Oga mi, Oga say make you no comot.” How was it possibly going to get any worse than this? Stranded in the middle of nowhere and finding yourself suddenly betrothed to a man with an illiterate as his P.A . Of all the things happening at that point in time, the scariest thought was that Alex and I wouldn’t make it to the wedding. Let’s call it the fear of Nena. It was then it dawned on me that I didn’t even know where Alex was. He couldn’t possibly be any worse off than me. I couldn’t imagine any old woman forcing him to marry her. He was probably waiting at the car or better still watching, and maybe even laughing, from a distance.
I wouldn’t blame Alex if he actually was laughing. I mean it really was a funny sight. Me, standing in front of the door with the massive man holding his hands out so I wouldn’t escape and moving back and forth between Yoruba and Pidgin. One thing was sure though, my children wouldn’t lack bedtime stories.
Seeing as I couldn’t escape, I turned around and walked back into the makeshift casino. The old man who was probably celebrating inwardly that he had acquired fresh meat looked up and smiled at me through his MTN-yellow teeth “Iyawo mi, se o tide.” I rolled my eyes “ Baba, kini gbogbo nonsense eh?”. Between me and you, I barely understood what I was saying. “Why is that man outside disturbing me and who is your iyawo?”
“Ahah, Omoge mi. Cool nah”
Then the old man stood up and walked towards me as if to explain something “Oya, come. No be vexing for me. Take it cool.” All of a sudden, Nena came to mind. If she was the one being struck bullet after bullet with the remains of English language that this man was speaking, a bomb might have gone off in her brain. The girl couldn’t even pretend to stand bad English. She had once walked out of a job interview because the interviewer kept repeating “What year did you graduated?”She said she couldn’t work with that kind of person and she never went back. Extreme? Maybe. Anyway, my problems were bigger than Baba’s English or the lack thereof. This man seemed to really think I was about to marry him. Of all the ‘yawas’ I had found myself in, this had to be the most confusing. From going to someone else’s wedding I had managed to be courted, proposed to and become engaged without even knowing it.
"This is the kind of divine intervention people mark attendance at Redeemed Camp for oh.” My mind and her twisted sense of humour.
Baba escorted or rather stalked closely behind me so I had no choice but to walk to keep from being absorbed by his pot belly. I found myself at a mud house. On walking in, it was the matchmaker herself, the old woman sitting on a mat at one corner. She started smiling the moment she saw me, I couldn’t fathom what they were all so happy about. The old man said a few things in his thick Yoruba dialect that were beyond my understanding. The woman stepped out and came back some minutes after with a big plate of something I was obviously supposed to eat. It was not until both the old man and his wife had left the room that my stomach started to make those funny sounds. I had told myself I wouldn’t eat the food but I wasn’t strong enough to hold back. The betrayer in the centre of my being caved and I rushed at the plate. It was when I was rushing the food that It occurred to me that wherever Alex was on planet earth, he hadn’t eaten since we left Lagos. I left some food on the plate making a mental note to give it to him if he came for me.
I woke up suddenly on the mat. I didn’t realize I had slept off. All that scheming and gambling must have taken my energy. Or maybe that old woman had drugged me. My phone was dead and it was pitch dark in the room. “Are there any windows in this thing?” Just then I heard the sound of a twig break outside. I couldn’t see anything but I sensed that someone was coming. My heart started to pound again. I felt around me for the plate or anything else to use as a weapon. And just like in all those horror movies, there was nothing. To see what happened to Aisha, kindly go here [http://legalwatchmen..com/2014/10/driving-with-crazy-episode-5.html]

ONE DAY, LOTS OF TROUBLE Episode 6

"Alex, you're bleeding!”
He looked down at his arm and saw the blood that had stained the part of his shirt that covered his upper arm. He gently lifted the cloth off his arm to reveal a bloody cut on his arm. I looked around and saw no one with a gun. Where did a bullet come from then. My mind was already processing the worst possible scenario.

"Aisha oh, Spiritual bullets are after you!"
Very interesting, that imagination of mine. I stepped closer to Alex to inspect the injury.
“Oh, thank God. The bullet didn't pierce your arm. It just tore past your skin."
I stylishly turned away to wipe the tear that was about to drop from my eyes.
“Well, it tore enough to get the blood flowing.”
He must have seen the terror in my eyes because just then he said, “It’s not that bad Aisha. I’ll be fine.” His attempt at reassurance didn't help much though. I was visibly shaken and my eyes kept darting from left to right.
“Who could be shooting around here?” He asked, surveying the forest. The universe decided to answer his question. We started to hear footsteps, approaching quickly. Like that of a man running. We headed quickly for the car. We couldn't let this guy perfect his aim on our bodies.

He saw us. We couldn't get out of sight before he saw us.
"Wait! Wait! You with the blood. Wait nah! I sorry. I no want to shoot you!"
I jumped when I heard the voice. It was slightly high-pitched and strangely loud. I definitely was not about to trust any words formed with that high-pitched voice. He could have been a hungry cannibal for all I knew. How had I managed to amass so much bad luck in just 24 hours?

He peered into the car through the windscreen and saw the blood on Alex’s arm and all of a sudden, he started to talk even louder. Then he jumped on the bonnet of the car and continued begging Alex to come out and let him atone for his mistake. When that didn't work, he got off the bonnet and got a log large enough to block the road. All this happened while we sat tight in the car wondering what exactly was playing out before us. After this obviously Hausa man blocked the road, he came around to Alex’s window and continued begging us to come out so he could clean Alex’s wound. I was so tired. There had been so much activity in the past few hours and I thought being a Chief Bridesmaid was stressful. I swore to myself that when I got married all my close friends would have to drive down to the wedding, even if it was a destination wedding!

When the pleading at the window didn't work, he went back to the bonnet and camped there. Which kind life? We couldn't move forward and kill the man or reverse and throw him on the ground so we stayed put. After pleading and rolling up and down on the bonnet, he sat up, still on the bonnet and started to talk through the windscreen. " Ayam a hunter. I saw moving, trees moving and something sounding. I think it was animal. And I shoot. I sorry. I very sorry. Please let me clean it. I have leaf to clean your hand." He said pointing at Alex through the slightly tinted glass. It was then I took a good look at him. He was slim, almost gaunt and dark with a very apologetic look in his eyes. Apparently, Alex's voice bore some similarities to that of an animal. Intriguing.

To read of the story, kindly visit [http://legalwatchmen..com/2014/10/driving-with-crazy-episode-6.html]

HEAVEN TO THE RESCUE Episode 7.

I drove in the company of the GPS. She, as Alex liked to describe it, wasn't much help at keeping me entertained or awake. We were too far from any city to get radio signals and so I was stuck with the rap songs Alex had in his car. Even with the songs blaring from the Speakers Alex didn't move from his slumber. Whatever sedative that hunter had given him would probably have given anaesthesia a run for it’s money. I had slapped him across the face enough times to leave the area slightly reddish hoping he would wake up but he would only turn and continue sleeping. At a point, I began to envy him. The things I would have done to have a good, soft bed to crash on right then. He had stopped bleeding, at least the hunter had done one thing right by applying some pressure to the injury to stop the bleeding but I still felt he should have it checked out. The bullet might have been laced with something. Poison? Maybe that was what was making him sleep so long? Or maybe it would make him hallucinate and start to act out his hallucinations! I had to take a deep breath to stop my mind from overreacting. Hopefully, he was just enjoying what had become an over two hour nap under the influence of a sedative. That was normal. Right?

***
I had been driving for almost three hours with my mind constantly reminding me that i could be going in the driving myself to Jos without knowing it. My mum always chided me for not knowing how to drive myself to Kaduna or the cities that led to it. I would always tell her that if I ever needed to drive, I would get a driver and so I never learned the route. See why you should listen to your parents! The GPS had gotten me this far; hopefully it would take me the rest of the way. It was nearing 9am. The sun looking nice and bright, perfect weather for a wedding. It was my best friend’s wedding day. The day we’d dreamed about since we recognized the importance of boys. Nena must have tried my number at least a thousand times by now. I tried to find comfort in the fact that it could have been a lot worse. I could have been married off to some old chief by now or be stranded because I couldn't drive and Alex was sleeping like he was half dead. So in comparison, I was having a good day.

I took my eyes off the road long enough to see that according to the GPS, we were about an hour and some minutes away from Kaduna. A smile slowly tattooed itself across my face when I saw that. If that was anything to go by, I would make it in time for the wedding and the last forty-eight hours of horror would not be in vain. While turning to look at the side mirror two things caught my attention. Firstly, the blinding stench that was emanating from my armpit! I smelled like fish and coffee mixed together. After not taking a bath for almost two days and running and sweating ever so often, I suppose it was to be expected. The terrible smell coming from my body almost made me forget the second thing I had noticed while looking at the side mirror. A car seemed to have been following me for a while. I was on an express-way, wide enough for a person to overtake if they felt it necessary and a few cars had zoomed past so it was puzzling that this white car had been a few metres behind me for almost thirty minutes. I had noticed it earlier but thought nothing of it till I looked out again and saw the same car. I could tell it was a man driving but I was too far to recognize the features. I tried to convince myself that it was paranoia and hunger making me over-assess the situation. I put my foot to the gas pedal and sped on ahead thinking i would probably lose after the bend that was up ahead; but still he followed me. Why would someone be following me in the middle of nowhere unless they knew me or wanted to rob me. I looked around the car, there was nothing to steal. Pastor had made sure to take care of that as I was naïve enough to let him. So what did this guy want? To view the rest of the story, kindly visit [http://legalwatchmen..com/2014/10/driving-with-crazy-episode-7.html]

Beautiful story deawie. Keep it up.

Mj45:
Beautiful story deawie. Keep it up.

Thank you!

FINAL EPISODE OF DRIVING WITH CRAZY - All's Well that Ends.....


After driving like a crazy person down the express way and receiving insults from other motorists for flying down the road like a bat out of hell; I got to Nena's house. Kehinde's directions had been surprisingly easy to follow. I knew the way the house from the town market, so at least I wasn't too bad with directions. As I got out of the car with the box of Nena's shoes in one hand I was tempted to lie flat and kiss the ground! I had never been so happy to see the cream walls of Nena's family house. The devil's plan to keep me from this wedding did not work! I went around to the boot of the car and got Alex's luggage. It would be easier for him to get it from my room when he got back from the hospital.
"You mean if..." The pessimist in my head hissed.
I pulled the box and struggled with the shoes and bag in my other hand as I walked into the house, expecting a battalion of people to accost me asking why I was just arriving. The first person I saw was Nena's mum who saw me just as I was about to climb the stairs. Now, Nena's mum was a "hugging screamer". The extreme type. Whenever she saw someone she liked and wanted to hug, she would start to scream her excitement. Impressive vocal chords, one of the many things Nena inherited from her mother.
"Aisha! Is this you? Where have you been?! I've been asking Nena about you! She wanted to go mad yesterday when she thought something had happened to you. We've been expecting you, my dear!" At this point, I was still trapped in her extremely tight embrace.
“Aunty, it's good to see you. We had issues along the way. I hope she's fine now." I said making what I hoped she recognized as a conscious effort to free myself.
" Yesso. Taye's brother... Err Kehinde called to say you were close by."
"Oh ok. Let me go and see her. Is she in her room? "
“She’s dressing up in my room. Let me take your things to her room. Both of you were supposed to stay there." I handed her Alex's luggage and my handbag and took the shoes with me to see Nena.
I pulled myself up the stairs, yawning all the way. There were so many people upstairs; most of the girls in the bridal train and a few of Nena's aunts were standing outside Nena's mum's room. I figured she had prevented them from seeing her until she presented herself. They all had their beautiful champagne brown coloured dresses on with faces beat to perfection. As soon as they saw me, the noise erupted.
"Aisha! "
“You’re here! Nena has been waiting...."
“Oh my God! Aisha!” All these noisy girls sef. It wasn't like I had died and come back to life. Why were they screaming anyhow?
"Aisha, go in. I'm sure Nena would let you see her. No one else is allowed to go in so we're waiting for the bride to make her grand entrance abi exit. " Ify said rolling her eyes. I remembered how Nena had told me Ify literally didn't let her sleep until she told her she could be part of her bridal train. The girl just had something about her that made me want to charge at her whenever I saw her but today was not her day. I made my way to the door and opened it and I sauntered in.
"Didn't I say no one should enter this room!!?” Nena shouted with her back to me.
“Calm down, Bridezilla.”
She turned sharply on hearing my voice and almost at the same time I caught a glimpse of her wedding dress in all it's glory. I had seen Nena wearing this dress before, I was with her when she bought it and we had chosen it as the best out of the three she had liked initially but there was something about it today. Maybe it was her hair as the curls fell softly down her nape or her face that seemed like it had been moulded with the finest of clays. Whatever it was, it made her look perfect. Really perfect. I was too stunned to speak for a few moments. She noticed that I was staring and waited for a comment. When one didn't come immediately, she got impatient and said "Talk now!"
"Nenadi, you look stunning!" I said still trying to take it all in.

"Really? Are you sure the hair doesn't make my head look funny? "
“Oh shut up Nena. You look perfect. Well, almost perfect.” I said trying my best to hold off the waterworks and bring out the shoes at the same time.
“Curse my over active tear glands.”
The same shoes that had made me feel like I was spending a holiday in the valley of the shadow of death. I went on one knee and put both shoes on her feet. The fight with the tears became even more brutal after that.
" Aisha, don't even start! If you cry, I'll cry! “ She said while fighting to keep hers in as well. Nature won in the end, much to the despair of Joe, the make-up artist who kept on scolding us for making him redo 'his masterpiece'. After seeing Nena looking so stunning and the way her eyes lit up when she told me she had been so worried and how much calmer she was now that I was here; I knew the hell I had been through to get there was worth it. According to Olaf, some people were worth melting for. At that point, I felt like I had been panel beaten a couple of times. That had to fall into the same category as melting. Right?
***
Much later at the wedding reception, after I had bawled my eyes out as I watched Nena's dad give her away and watched her become one with the man who had loved her so hard for so long; I stood with my glass of wine in hand giggling as I watched Nena and Taye have their first dance. The look of contentment on her face was priceless. After all the petty quarrels they had employed me to settle in the past, they had actually made it down the aisle. I remembered how Taye had begged me day and night to convince Aisha to go on a date with him. I milked him dry before I even thought to tell Nena there was a guy who wanted to take her out. I giggled as I remembered my evil exploits. I knew Taye would take care of her. I had drilled him back when I noticed their relationship was becoming serious and laid down some serious ground rules. When I was done, he learned that there would be very serious physical and maybe even spiritual consequences if there was ever any tomfoolery on his part. Yes, I was that friend. But Nena never had to do any of that, I always laid down the rules by myself in my relationships and none lasted as long as Taye and Nena’s.
As I watched them look into each other's eyes, I was reminded of how much I wanted someone who would just get me and be happy with me. I wasn't girly like Nena or desperate for affection or any of that but I just wanted someone who was always on my team.
"You have Alex, you know."
I had felt some kind of chemistry with Alex during the trip or maybe it was all the near-fatal experiences making me confused. But even then I had caught myself a number of times looking all over and worrying about him all day. Alex and I would make an interesting pair. With his charms and good looks and eccentricities and my -
"Hey, road buddy. "
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