Relationship expert, Praise Fowowe, who is a self
confessed sex addict turned relationship and sex
counselor, in this incisive piece gave reasons why
the marriages of some top pastors are packing up.
Find his thought provoking piece below
1. A man of God is not God, he is a man:
Unfortunately, we treat our men of God as if
they are spirits who don't live in human body.
What do we expect when we saddle them with
our numerous issues. Unfortunately, many are
not wise to say no to church members whose
lives will continue if they drop dead. Church
members have academic, financial, and even
marital problems, they go to the pastor as if the
man is built to solve every problem and in our
quest to prove that we are superstars, we also
fail to embrace the use of professionals who are
trained in these things because of our hidden
fear of respect. What stops a man of God who
knows his marriage is in danger to take a back
seat and allow a church member whose
marriage is a model take a message on a
Sunday that marriage is meant to be
discussed? You are not built to solve every
problem.
2. Anointing does not give immunity to divorce:
The same way anointing doesn't give immunity
to sexual sins, it doesn't also give immunity to
divorce. It takes more than anointing to make a
marriage work. I have seen the people we refer
to as unbelievers build a fantastic marriage why
I have also seen loads of tongue-talking
believers make a shipwreck of theirs. The most
important ingredient to build a winning
marriage isn't prayers, it is knowledge and if
you don't have it, you can't pray it in. I tell
people that your anointing wouldn't stop you
from sleeping with church members if you have
a sex problem. If you position yourself around
babes consistently in the name of "My daughter
in the lord" and you don't draw a critical line, it
is only a matter of time. My story is everywhere
on how I was a sex addict in church after being
born again yet leading praise worship and
leading people to Christ until I became real to
myself and went to get help. Every counselor
needs a counselor and every pastor needs a
pastor who may not necessarily be title
carrying person because the problem with us is
that in this part of the world, we believe that a
laity isn't anointed as long as he doesn't pastor
a large church. If you are beating your wife,
don't pretend you don't have a problem, you
need to get help from a psychologist or
psychiatrist.
3. There is no relationship without
communication and relaxation: So many men of
God don't communicate with their spouses. You
can't expect an abandoned flower to blossom
without your attention. I think many of us
saddle our wives with church work that they are
not prepared for. I do not believe that because
a man is a pastor necessarily means that his
wife must be a Pastor Mrs. God's callings and
gifting aren't by marriage. I don't understand
the calling that will make a man of God remain
in Nigeria while he sends his wife to Germany
to pastor the branch of the church over there.
Excuse me, you are a human being who needs
emotional attention. Unfortunately, that is the
reality in many ministries. You are a man of
God on the pulpit but at home, you are a lover
and a father to your children. So you might
learn to drop the bible and Christianity on the
altar so that you can communicate with your
wife and your children in human language. I
was invited to a meeting years back and I
asked the Pastor's there the last time they had
a dance with their spouses? I was shocked
when they said it was during their wedding.
4. Isolation isn't spirituality: Jesus never
isolated himself. As a matter of fact, he was
found in everyday places like our present day
shopping malls and movie houses. I see a lot
of young pastors who have aged faster than
they should be because of Isolation. Something
tells us that we need to isolate ourselves to
receive a word for a people who are being
"pastored" only during the service because
many of them are being influenced more by
their favorite musician than their pastor. Don't
allow church members turn you into who you
are not because you don't want to hang out
with your babe. They would spread your story
when your marriage breaks down. When was
the last time you met your pastor in a bus,
mall, a restaurant or a cinema? As a matter of
fact, when was the last time he was stuck in
traffic and you saw him? If your answer is no,
then most likely your pastor is a spirit. If a man
wants to live in isolation, he should please not
get married so that we can save the body of
Christ all this embarrassment.
5. Wisdom is in the city square: If a man of God
is inadequate on a particular subject, It is not
shameful to get help. It is humility to look for
help from people that have studied that
particular subject. Something to learn from
someone we have categorized as sinner. So
when I hear someone make statements like
there is nothing an unbeliever can teach me, I
often ask who taught you how to speak English
and understand Mathematics. Age and longevity
in ministry is not the same as wisdom.

A lot of pastors today who preach on humility need to open the good book for themselves and personalize the subject.

Praise u just nailed d topic. May God give us wisdom and understanding

SweetyZinta: Praise u just nailed d topic. May God give us wisdom and understanding

Amen!... wisdom is essentially needed in tough situations like this

2buff: A lot of pastors today who preach on humility need to open the good book for themselves and personalize the subject.

most of them don't practice what they preach