A team of psychologists and medical doctors associated with the Technische Universität of Berlin, have announced this morning that they had proven by clinical experimentation, the existence of some form of life after death. This astonishing announcement is based on the conclusions of a study using a new type of medically supervised near-death experiences, that allow patients to be clinically dead for almost 20 minutes before being brought back to life.


This controversial process that was repeated on 944 volunteers over that last four years, necessitates a complex mixture of drugs including epinephrine and dimethyltryptamine, destined to allow the body to survive the state of clinical death and the reanimation process without damage. The body of the subject was then put into a temporary comatic state induced by a mixture of other drugs which had to be filtered by ozone from his blood during the reanimation process 18 minutes later.

The extremely long duration of the experience was only recently made possible by the development of a new cardiopulmonary recitation (CPR) machine called the AutoPulse. This type of equipment has already been used over the last few years, to reanimate people who had been dead for somewhere between 40 minutes to an hour.


Near-death experiences have been hypothesized in various medical journals in the past, as having the characteristics of hallucinations, but Dr Ackermann and his team, on the contrary, consider them as evidence for the existence of the afterlife and of a form of dualism between mind and body.

The team of scientists led by Dr Berthold Ackermann, has monitored the operations and have compiled the testimonies of the subjects. Although there are some slight variations from one individual to another, all of the subjects have some memories of their period of clinical death. and a vast majority of them described some very similar sensations.

Most common memories include a feeling of detachment from the body, feelings of levitation, total serenity, security, warmth, the experience of absolute dissolution, and the presence of an overwhelming light.

The scientists say that they are well aware the many of their conclusions could shock a lot of people, like the fact that the religious beliefs of the various subjects seems to have held no incidence at all, on the sensations and experiences that they described at the end of the experiment. Indeed, the volunteers counted in their ranks some members are a variety of Christian churches, Muslims, Jews, Hindus and atheists.

“I know our results could disturb the beliefs of many people” says Mr Ackermann. “But in a way, we have just answered one of the greatest questions in the history of mankind, so I hope these people will be able to forgive us. Yes, there is life after death and it looks like this applies to everyone.”

Whew..white men again

I wonder what you guys are taught in school in Nigeria.
OP, the article is satirical and not real.
From the website:

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World News Daily Report is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All news articles contained within worldnewsdailyreport.com are fiction, and presumably fake news. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians and/or celebrities, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction.

http://worldnewsdailyreport .com/disclaimer/

Apatheist: I wonder what you guys are taught in school in Nigeria.
OP, the article is satirical and not real.
From the website:

http://worldnewsdailyreport .com/disclaimer/

Mister, do u really think u're better schooled than those in nigeria? Must u come here to show urself, why not look for the thread for ppl who schooled in d moon. Its early to look 4 a fight abeg. btw u think u're d only one u studied abroad? Immaturity is written all over ur post. I hate derogatory statement.
Oga for ur info, the article is not satirical, its real.
Did u even read d article at all? I'm sure u didn't, u just wantd to tell us u studied in d moon.

klarke:


Mister, do u really think u're better schooled than those in nigeria?

Not really.

Must u come here to show urself, why not look for the thread for ppl who schooled in d moon. Its early to look 4 a fight abeg. btw u think u're d only one u studied abroad? Immaturity is written all over ur post. I hate derogatory statement.

Good for you! Now have a cookie!

Oga for ur info, the article is not satirical, its real.

Really? Says who?

Did u even read d article at all? I'm sure u didn't, u just wantd to tell us u studied in d moon.

Did you read the disclaimer? if you know what that means

E-War

Nobleval: E-War

Not e-war.
I just have a low tolerance for stupidity.
The guy doesn't even know what a disclaimer-- oR satire-- is!