carefreewannabe:

TV on his mission again.

Yeah, let people spend their lives in misery because some people think it's a stigma to be divorced.

Where did you get your name carefree from?

letsdothis:


Where did you get your name carefree from?

It's carefreewannabe

I created this account when times were tough

carefreewannabe:

CFW, think about all you’ve said so far. Your whole purpose for marriage was your own happiness. Accordingly, your reason for dissolution was “not being happy”

That is what leads you down the road of divorce being good – if you are not happy! It makes perfect logical sense if the purpose of marriage is too “make you happy”.

Marriage didn’t come into being to make people/you happy, although it does that. So trying to justify that point by talking of a spouse “beating you up” is still too miss the point. As is saying your partner can leave if you fail to give him what you promised.

You’ve already clearly stated that you can leave if “you are not happy”. That is subjective. So saying your partner can leave if you fail to give him what you promised is contradictory, as it’s for him to make that judgement not you. So you can be giving him all that you promised and a bag of chips, and he can still leave if he chooses.

So if happiness is the yardstick, it’s intellectually dishonest to claim that you didn’t say that a man or woman should “simply leave”, especially as you later said people leave “for many reasons”.


If you don’t grasp the purpose of marriage and reject the historically accepted definition, what you have is not really marriage, it’s something of your own construction.

So please, I am not in any way judging or prescribing for you. Who am I? I am merely parsing your position. Just as you claim that “your idea of marriage “ is as you and your partner decide it is, should everyone not be accorded that exact same right?

And if everyone can decide what marriage is too them – in purpose and definition – then there is in truth, no such thing as marriage is there?

And as for throwing around words like “consent” or “judgemental”, you do exactly that. Who are you to say that a man or woman cannot simply leave if that’s what they want? If that’s how they purpose and define their own marriage?

The truth of your position is that men and women should be allowed to leave for any reason. I’ve already had this discussion here on NL. And that was even the starting point.

And you still haven’t accurately defined or stated the purpose of marriage, although what you are saying is that it’s “whatever”. Neither have you outlined how it's best instituted, although you've made clear what you believe is best for you.


TV

TV01:

CFW, think about all you’ve said so far. Your whole purpose for marriage was your own happiness. Accordingly, your reason for dissolution was “not being happy”

This is your interpretation of what I have said so far, not what I actually said.

That is what leads you down the road of divorce being good – if you are not happy! It makes perfect logical sense if the purpose of marriage is too “make you happy”.

One of the purposes of marriage for me is to be happy. Don't you want the same?

Marriage didn’t come into being to make people/you happy, although it does that. So trying to justify that point by talking of a spouse “beating you up” is still too miss the point. As is saying your partner can leave if you fail to give him what you promised.

Marriage "didn't come into being to make people" unhappy either.

You’ve already clearly stated that you can leave if “you are not happy”. That is subjective. So saying your partner can leave if you fail to give him what you promised is contradictory, as it’s for him to make that judgement not you. So you can be giving him all that you promised and a bag of chips, and he can still leave if he chooses.

Yes, he does.

So if happiness is the yardstick, it’s intellectually dishonest to claim that you didn’t say that a man or woman should “simply leave”, especially as you later said people leave “for many reasons”.

Every human being wants to be happy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

If you don’t grasp the purpose of marriage and reject the historically accepted definition, what you have is not really marriage, it’s something of your own construction.

I don't live in the past. Times have changed, so must marriage. I have no problem to adapt. Survival of the fittest

So please, I am not in any way judging or prescribing for you. Who am I? I am merely parsing your position. Just as you claim that “your idea of marriage “ is as you and your partner decide it is, should everyone not be accorded that exact same right?

Absolutely! Just that I don't judge people who have a different idea of marriage, unlike you.

And if everyone can decide what marriage is too them – in purpose and definition – then there is in truth, no such thing as marriage is there?

Why?

And as for throwing around words like “consent” or “judgemental”, you do exactly that. Who are you to say that a man or woman cannot simply leave if that’s what they want? If that’s how they purpose and define their own marriage?

Did I say, I have a problem with such people?

The truth of your position is that men and women should be allowed to leave for any reason. I’ve already had this discussion here on NL. And that was even the starting point.

Would you rather advocate to jail them?

You want to stop people from divorce by judging them, even when you will at the same time stigmatize those who had very serious reasons?
You are free to do it. I won't participate. I mind my own business and let people live their lives.

And you still haven’t accurately defined or stated the purpose of marriage, although what you are saying is that it’s “whatever”. Neither have you outlined how it's best instituted, although you've made clear what you believe is best for you.


TV

This got me thinking. Is there a purpose of marriage? I am not so sure.

carefreewannabe:

It's carefreewannabe

I created this account when times were tough

Ok I understand now I'm sure things ars now straight. The guy that cause it is a bastard

Please it's okey oo, no more argumentation!!!

carefreewannabe: This got me thinking. Is there a purpose of marriage? I am not so sure.

This alone proves what I've been saying about your grasp of marriage. And really pulls the rug out from under your position.

So you don't know what the purpose of marriage is, but you want to apprehend it - as you subjectively see fit - in order to make yourself happy? Marriage has no agency in and of itself, you can "conditionally commit" to your partner without marriage and presumably be happy? So why marriage CFW?

This lack of understanding has to be one of the things that make you so scared. And likewise, it's why you want the divorce option - and that option to be totally subjective - with it and and sans stigma.

Even your strawmen were apparent. Making it subjective and implying that it did not mean people could simply walk away, when subjectivity means exactly that. Subjectivity does not apply or force limits, otherwise it's prescriptive and judgemental, the very things you decry. Likewise, saying that what I deem best overall, is only what I think is best. If it's subjective, what I think is best can be no worse than what you think is best - no?

When you can show us the anthropological purpose and historical function of marriage, then it's game on. Even if you decide it should be updated for the 21st century, as long as you can show that your updates enhance it, I will accede and have no issue.

Otherwise you really should stop traducing marriage. Or even commenting on marital affairs. After all, if there's cheating, abuse or violence, it may well be what the two individuals want and have agreed to. Afterall, it it's subjective. You have no right to judge situations. Or as you like to call it - throw stones.

Have apleasant weekend.


TV

TV01:
This alone proves what I've been saying about your grasp of marriage. And really pulls the rug out from under your position.

So you don't know what the purpose of marriage is, but you want to apprehend it - as you subjectively see fit - in order to make yourself happy? Marriage has no agency in and of itself, you can "conditionally commit" to your partner without marriage and presumably be happy? So why marriage CFW?

This lack of understanding has to be one of the things that make you so scared. And likewise, it's why you want the divorce option - and that option to be totally subjective - with it and and sans stigma.

Even your strawmen were apparent. Making it subjective and implying that it did not mean people could simply walk away, when subjectivity means exactly that. Subjectivity does not apply or force limits, otherwise it's prescriptive and judgemental, the very things you decry. Likewise, saying that what I deem best overall, is only what I think is best. If it's subjective, what I think is best can be no worse than what you think is best - no?

When you can show us the anthropological purpose and historical function of marriage, then it's game on. Even if you decide it should be updated for the 21st century, as long as you can show that your updates enhance it, I will accede and have no issue.

Otherwise you really should stop traducing marriage. Or even commenting on marital affairs. After all, if there's cheating, abuse or violence, it may well be what the two individuals want and have agreed to. Afterall, it it's subjective. You have no right to judge situations. Or as you like to call it - throw stones.

Have apleasant weekend.


TV

TV,

whatever you think of marriage and divorce is your business.
My only problem with you is that you think that you have the right to stigmatize people.

This is it.

letsdothis:

Ok I understand now I'm sure things ars now straight. The guy that cause it is a bastard

It wasn't about a guy.

carefreewannabe:

It wasn't about a guy.

ok. Are you a banker or economist? Because of the crafty in the way you chat

letsdothis:

ok. Are you a banker or economist? Because of the crafty in the way you chat

No, but I did a few courses in the department of economics when I was a student.

carefreewannabe:

No, but I did a few courses in the department of economics when I was a student.

alryt. But don't allow my mention to waste. Go to my thread and wish me happy birthday na. Show some luv

Make i reconsider my profession.

carefreewannabe:
TV,

whatever you think of marriage and divorce is your business.
My only problem with you is that you think that you have the right to stigmatize people.

This is it.

Your problem is due to your flawed ideology and inability to string together a coherent discussion about marriage in any sense. Which is why you are fearful and allow that fear to inform your approach.

Your "subjective" mantra says that what each individual thinks and makes of marriage is down to them. Ergo, what I think and make of marriage (or divorce) is none of your business. The notion of divorce – and particularly as an acceptable/ morally good choice - should be rightly stigmatised in my view.

This thread is replete with evidence of your being totally bereft of even a basic understanding about marriage. Here’s an example;

carefreewannabe: And my idea of marriage is my idea of marriage and it concerns me and my partner. We have to agree on it, not you and not society.

Marriage is a couples public declaration and society’ acknowledgement of their commitment to each other - and the formalisation their union.

In your confused haze, you claim you “want marriage”, but without societal involvement? Like the gay-homosexuals who scream what they do is non of our business, yet want society to accept, endorse and celebrate the non-sequitur called “gay-marriage”.

And then rage that it’s the 21st century, in which case one must question why you want any part of a centuries old institution? Surely it can’t be so hard for a 21st century liberated and high achieving woman to create your own institution – and oner far superior to marriage?

So, I have no problem with your wallowing. Please, knock yourself out. But I do think it would be best all around if you stopped commenting on marriage or marital affairs, as you have neither the ideology to do so nor the understanding from which to speak. You are clearly out of your depth

Hope the weekend was good – I did a lot of fulfilling marriage stuff .


TV

TV01:

Your problem is due to your flawed ideology and inability to string together a coherent discussion about marriage in any sense. Which is why you are fearful and allow that fear to inform your approach.

I don't have any ideology. You have enough for the two of us.

Your "subjective" mantra says that what each individual thinks and makes of marriage is down to them. Ergo, what I think and make of marriage (or divorce) is none of your business. The notion of divorce – and particularly as an acceptable/ morally good choice - should be rightly stigmatised in my view.

In your view, exactly.

This thread is replete with evidence of your being totally bereft of even a basic understanding about marriage. Here’s an example;

Marriage is a couples public declaration and society’ acknowledgement of their commitment to each other - and the formalisation their union.

So? I still don't need it.

In your confused haze, you claim you “want marriage”, but without societal involvement? Like the gay-homosexuals who scream what they do is non of our business, yet want society to accept, endorse and celebrate the non-sequitur called “gay-marriage”.

I have claimed I want marriage?

And then rage that it’s the 21st century, in which case one must question why you want any part of a centuries old institution? Surely it can’t be so hard for a 21st century liberated and high achieving woman to create your own institution – and oner far superior to marriage?

This is exactly what I am doing.

So, I have no problem with your wallowing. Please, knock yourself out. But I do think it would be best all around if you stopped commenting on marriage or marital affairs, as you have neither the ideology to do so nor the understanding from which to speak. You are clearly out of your depth

No, I don't follow any ideologies like you and this is why I will speak even more to give people a voice who are oppressed by fanatics of your kind.

Hope the weekend was good – I did a lot of fulfilling marriage stuff .


TV

To whom it may concern.

...CFW, always runs out of cogent arguement before she runs out of steam

carefreewannabe: I don't have any ideology. You have enough for the two of us.

Look in that cupboard that needs cleaning - your crusty incoherent feminist ideology is probably there doing strengthening exercises. Or are you denying it now? !

carefreewannabe: This is exactly what I am doing.

Good on you. Please feel free to share this super new & improved marriage methodology with the rest of the world - Especially us fanatics !


"the only thing ot fear is fear itself"


TV

Well *spreads mat for tales by moonlight* I disagree. LoL. Do you know how many 'broken' marriages in Nigeria? The reason why the rate seems low is our cultural orientation and customary laws. Many marriages are 'suffering and smiling' but can't divorce due to some reasons...we can't dismiss the place of religion too. Look at the list posted by the OP, how many of those countries are religious (asides India)?
The major causes of divorce worldwide are 'growing apart' and 'unreconcilable differences'
*thanks for wasting your time reading my contribution*

TV01: ...CFW, always runs out of cogent arguement before she runs out of steam

No, she just gets bored.

Look in that cupboard that needs cleaning - your crusty incoherent feminist ideology is probably there doing strengthening exercises. Or are you denying it now? !

I live in the post-feminist era, not in the past.

Good on you. Please feel free to share this super new & improved marriage methodology with the rest of the world - Especially us fanatics !

First you ask me to shut up, now you want me to talk and then you say I am confused.

"the only thing ot fear is fear itself"


TV

I am not the scared one here. I don't need a marriage contract to feel secure.

1. United States of America:
USA is a nation of multicultured people. In
order for the USA citizens to cope up with the
challenges of advancements and development,
they live really hectic lives with lots of
workload, which means no time for the
families. Thus, USA has the highest divorce
rate in the world which has five times
increased during this year as compared to
2013.

I loooooooooooove AMERICA!!!
Marriage is not a matter of DO OR DIE.

No single AFRICAN COUNTRY?

Poverty na real BYTCH!
Awon suffering and smiling RELIGIOUS MARRIAGES. . .
Marry one. . . PHOCK 10 FREE at the h-altar!

Mu che che che che che che