eleojo23: The events that occur in our lives are like a coin with two sides. One side is the fact and reality of the event and the other side is the hidden message and lessons behind these events. We can either choose to focus on the one or the other.
I'm going to pick a few things that we experience and try to let you see the other side of each of them. I promise I won't take much of your time. So help me God! OK. Let's begin...

1. A failed relationship.
You may have had a good relationship going on for you and you thought it was going to last forever only for it to hit the rocks. The glaring fact now is you're heart-broken and hurt. You are probably asking yourself why it had to happen.
What's the other side of the coin?
Instead of brooding and trying to understand why it had to happen, the real question is 'what i'm I meant to learn?'

Relationships can help us grow and evolve. Sometimes the purpose is to teach us. Some people will use you and others will bring out the best in you. Sometimes the relationship will no longer serve your highest good and your paths will naturally separate so that both of you can continue to grow.

Another thing you learn is that the lust period doesn't last forever. Lust is fleeting but love is what is needed for the real deal. Love is about accepting an imperfect being and loving that person even with their flaws.

Also the break-up might be teaching you to have self respect. Maybe you invested so much in the other person that you forgot yourself in the process. The most painful thing is loosing yourself in the process of loving someone too much and forgetting that you are special too. You never thought about what you really wanted because of the fear of loosing that person. You need to learn to love and accept yourself. You have to know that if a person wants to be part of your life, they will make an effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay. Your break-up may have just saved you from a future life of misery.

If the the break-up was caused by you probably because you cannot tolerate the other person's flaws, know that while you're busy looking for a perfect person, you'll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy.

2. A broken/troubled home.
You may have been raised in a home where everything was out of place because of marital conflict between your parents. You had a troubled childhood and it has affected your self-esteem and you are bitter at your parents for not providing an ideal environment for your childhood. You can decide to carry this bitterness in your heart for the rest of your life or turn it into something positive.
What is the other side of the coin?
Having experienced the trauma of a broken/troubled home, you make a resolve that your kids will not suffer the same. That you will strive to provide them with a good home where they will have a healthy childhood.

It teaches you a thing or two about marriage. You learn that love is a choice and emotions don't last forever. You learn that marriage isn't a smooth ride. It requires hard work. In fact, someone said 'the best way to ruin a marriage is to think it's perfect'

3. A job loss.
You may have recently lost your job. The glaring fact now is that you feel very sad because of the responsibilities that lie on your shoulders. But you have to realize that if you don't stay positive and focus on the good then all the bad will overwhelm you. I'm not trying to belittle the pain and anxiety that you feel when you lose your job. But you have to focus on the positive things and see what you can learn from this or you'll make the experience even harder than it has to be.
So what's the other side of the coin?

This is an opportunity for evaluation. Re-examine your priorities.
Many people find out that the field they have been working in isn't for them but because of fear of the unknown, they could not move into a new field. If you have lost your job, you've already been pushed into the unknown. This may be your chance to change your career path.

Your job loss can also make you discover the hidden 'boss' within you. That you could have been your own boss all this time but you did not realise it. It may be time to explore that business idea that was trapped within you as a result of working for another person.

4. Dealing with difficult people.
You may have a particular person in your life who just drives you mad with his/her behaviour. He/she displays passive aggressive behaviour, sarcastic remarks and backhanded compliments. The glaring fact is, you can't stand this person and he is just giving you headache.
What's the other side of this coin?

This is making you understand the diversity of human behaviour and you are learning to be mature at handling people. It is showing you that each individual has his own unique behaviour and it could be exact opposite of yours. It would have been easier if you could totally avoid these kind of people but that's impossible. This people make you develop thick skin. They reveal your insecurities and force you to face them. They force you to choose the need to be firm on some issues over your need for acceptance. Their criticism forces you to be clear and precise about what you want to do.

Knowing that everybody has his unique behaviour, you have to understand that you too are another person's difficult person. This understanding will help you a lot in dealing with the difficult person in your life.

5. The death of a loved one.
The shock and pain that one experiences from the loss of a loved one is something that only those who have experienced it understand. Death can happen to anyone. The glaring fact is that it is a painful thing, very painful. But out of this painful experience comes valuable lessons for everyone.
What's the other side of this coin?

Nothing helps you understand the brevity of life more than death. Death makes you understand what is important in life. Death shows you that nothing in life is permanent. Seeing how short life is, it becomes pertinent that you put the best into what you are doing right now. You learn to spend your time on the things that are really important. You learn to live your life to the fullest, show as much love to those you care about while they are still around. You don't have to leave important things for tomorrow...like being with the ones you love and telling them how you feel and listening to them and helping them.
You should live a life that is true to yourself and good for others. Live a life that you can look back and have no regrets.


It is very easy to dwell on unfortunate experiences hence most times, we miss the lessons that each new experience teaches us.
It is not easy to see things from this positive perspective. You learn to do so and if you can learn to see things differently, you put yourself on the path where bad experiences will not be able to slow down your progress rather they become stepping stones for a better and rewarding future.
Always remember that things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.


Thanks for reading. Feel free to contribute.

Kanwulia:

Dazzzzzzzzzzzzz rite!

*how you take know?. . . na da nickname my sugar daddy for Nigeria dey call me o. . . .any time i call am for phone the first tin wey i go hear for 'year' na . . . . ."THE BOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSS"*

kenex4ever:
U r funny to a fault

eleojo23: Hello mynd44, thanks for putting this on frontpage. But please change the title to 'Lessons To Be Learnt From Bad Experiences' Thank you.

Mynd44:
Too late for that

Orikinla: OP, what of the other side of poverty or prosperity?