Can you remember the last time you stepped into a room full of
strangers and felt that self-conscious and awkward feeling
rush over you? Or that heart thumping moment when you
wanted to ask someone on a date, but were too shy to do so? Or
wanting to approach someone for business, but was too hesitant
to actually do it? That anxiety in the pit of your stomach in
social situations? Does it always feel like something is holding
you back?
We’ve both experienced different variations of shyness, and
through practice and increased awareness we have both
overcome this. The following are tips that have helped us
overcome this uncomfortable feeling.

1. Understand Your Shyness
Seek to understand your unique brand of shyness and how that
manifests in your life. Understand what situation triggers this
feeling? And what are you concerned with at that point?

2. Turning Self Consciousness into Self Awareness
Recognize that the world is not looking at you. Besides, most
people are too busy looking at themselves. Instead of watching
yourself as if you are other people, bring your awareness
inwards. Armed with your understanding of what makes you
shy, seek within yourself and become the observing presence of
your thoughts. Self awareness is the first step towards any
change or life improvement.

3. Find Your Strengths
We all have unique qualities and different ways of expressing
ourselves. It’s important to know and fully accept the things we
do well, even if they differ from the norm. If everyone was the
same, the world would be a pretty boring place.
Find something you are good at and focus on doing it. An
identifiable strength will boost your natural self esteem and
your ego, helping you better identify with yourself. It is a short
term fix, but will give you the confidence you need to break
your self-imposed barrier of fear.
See how your unique strength gives you an advantage.

4. Learn to Like Yourself
Practice appreciating yourself and liking the unique expression
that is you. Write a love letter to yourself, do things you enjoy,
give gratitude for your body and its effortless functions, spend
quality time getting to know yourself, go on a self-date .

5. Not Conforming
Trying to fit in like everyone else is exhausting and not very
much fun. Understand that it is okay to be different. In fact,
underlying popular kid’s public displays of coolness, they too are
experiencing insecurities, self-consciousness, and awkwardness.
Accept that you may not be perceived as the most popular
social butterfly , and you may not want to be either. At the end
of the day, being popular will not make you happy. Accepting
your unique qualities can set you free.

6. Focus on Other People
Rather than focusing on your awkwardness in social situations,
focus on other people and what they have to say. Become
interested in learning about others, and probe them to talk
about themselves. You can try pondering the question while
interacting: What is it about this person that I like?

7. Releasing Anxiety through Breath
Anxiety and fear can feel overwhelming if you are
practicing to become more assertive in order to overcome
this fear.
One simple technique to calm this anxiety into manageable bites
is taking deep breaths with your eyes closed, while
concentrating on just your breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly
while clearing out all thoughts.
Another technique is from yoga: counting as you inhale and then
as you exhale. Slowly leveling out your inhale and exhale
duration. Example, 4 count for in and 4 for out. Once your
breaths are leveled, add an extra count during your exhale. This
means slowing down your exhale by just a tad as compared to
your inhale. Continue for a few minutes until you are
comfortable, than add another count to your exhale. You can
easily do this in the bathroom, or in a spare room of when you
need it.

8. Releasing Anxiety through Movement
One way of viewing anxiety is that it is blocked energy that
needs to be released. We can release this energy through
physical movement.
Exercises like jogging or walking will help to re-channel some of
the blocked energies, but also helps by pulling you out of the
situation and shifts your state of mind. This refreshed state of
mind will help by adding perspectives to things.
Another effective technique is a simple muscle meditation/
exercise. Sit down or lie down. Bring awareness to every part
of your body, starting from your toes and moving up your body
to the top of your head. At every part of your body, tighten
the muscles at the center of awareness for 3-5 seconds, and
then relax. Repeat this until you get to the top of your head.
Remember to breathe.

9. Visualization
Visualizing yourself in the situation as a confident and happy
person helps to shape your perception of yourself when you are
actually in the situation. Close your eyes, sit back somewhere
relaxing, listen to some relaxing music, imagine yourself in a
scene or situation and see yourself the way you would like to be.
In this scene, how do you feel? What do you hear? Do you smell
anything? Are you moving? What do you see? Get all your
senses involved to make it real.

10. Affirmation
Words can carry incredible energy. What we repeatedly tell
ourselves, gets heard by our unconscious mind, and it acts
accordingly. If we repeatedly tell ourselves that we are
incapable, and too shy to do anything, we will become
increasingly aware of evidence to back up this ‘fact’, and our
actions will always match what we tell ourselves. Similarly, if we
repeatedly tell ourselves that we are capable, confident, and
wonderful human beings, our unconscious mind will likely surface
the awareness that gives evidence to this new ‘fact’. While, we
can’t lie to ourselves, positive visualization and affirmation are
helpful in placing us along the road of positive thought patterns.

11. Do Not Leave an Uncomfortable Situation
When we leave shy situations, what we are really doing is
reinforcing our shyness. Instead, face the situation square in
the face. Turn the fearful situation into a place of introspection
and personal growth. Become the observer and dig into yourself,
answer the questions: why do I feel this way? What caused me
to feel this way? Can there be an alternative explanation to
what is happening?

12. Accept Rejection
Accept the possibility that we can be rejected and learning to
not take it personally. Remember, you are not alone and we all
experience rejections. It is part of life and part of the learning
process. The key lies in how you handle rejections when they
come. It helps to be mentally prepared before they happen:
Never take it personally. It was not your fault. It just wasn’t
meant to be. The scenario was not the best fit for you.
Find the lesson – what did you learn? There is a lesson
ingrained in every situation. And through these life lessons lies
the potential for you to become a better person, a stronger
person. Nothing is lost if you can find the lesson. See these as
the blessings in disguise.
Move on. Recognize that when you fall into self-pity, you are
not moving forward. Nothing will be changed from your self-
pity. When you start to recognize this, it becomes clear that
only energy is wasted while we feed to our problem-seeking
ego. Pick yourself up, dust off the dirt and move on to the next
thing. Try again, try again, try again. It will pay off!

13. Relinquish Perfectionism
When we compare ourselves, we tend to compare ourselves with
the most popular person in the room or we compare ourselves
with celebrities we see on TV. We set excessive expectations by
comparing ourselves unreasonably to people unlike ourselves and
wonder “why can’t I be that?” We carry with us a vision of
another’s perfection and expect ourselves to fit that exact
mold. And when we don’t fit, we beat ourselves up for it,
wondering why we are such failures. You see, the problem lies in
our emphasis on fitting into a vision we have created in our
minds, which is not us. Let go of this perfect image, create
visions of yourself out of the Being from who you are, naturally;
and let that expression flow, naturally.

14. Stop Labeling Yourself
Stop labeling yourself as a shy person. You are you, you are
unique, and you are beautiful. Can’t we just leave it at that?

15. Practice Social Skills
Like any other skill, social skills can be cultivated through
practice and experience. The more you put yourself out there,
the easier it becomes next time. If you have a hard time
knowing what to say, you can practice what to say ahead of
time.

16. Practice Being in Uncomfortable Situations
Sometimes, it is not the social skills we lack, but rather the lack
of self confidence that we may succeed, and a heightened fear
that we will fail. Placing yourself in these uncomfortable
situations will help to desensitize your fear towards the
situation. The more you force yourself to face it, and to
experience it completely, you will realize that it is not that bad
after all. It may be hard for your ego to accept at first, but
quickly you will find that you can just laugh and enjoy it.

17. The Three Questions
During social settings where you may experience nervousness,
periodically ask yourself the following three questions. Doing so
will distract yourself from more self-destructive thoughts.
Make it your mantra:
1. Am I breathing?
2. Am I relaxed?
3. Am I moving with grace?

18. What is Comfortable for You?
Going to bars and clubs isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay.
Understand what feels comfortable for you, and find people,
communities and activities which bring out the best in you. You
can be just as equally social in settings that you connect with on
a personal level, than the popular social settings. You don’t have
to be doing what “everyone” else is doing. Besides, everyone
else isn’t necessarily happy, despite your perception as such.

19. Focus on the Moment
Becoming mindful of what you’re doing, regardless of what
you’re doing, will take focus away from the self. When you are
having a conversation, forget about how you look, focus on the
words, fall into the words, become absorbed in the words. The
tones. The expression. Appreciate it and give gratitude for it.

20. Seek and Record Your Successes
As you overcome this condition we’ve been labeling as shyness,
you will have many wins and realizations about yourself. You will
gain insights into the truth behind social scenarios. You will
start to view yourself differently and come to recognize that
you can become comfortable and confident. When these wins and
realizations happen, make sure to keep a notebook and write
them down. Keeping a journal of your successes will not only
boost self confidence, but also shift your focus towards
something that can benefit you.
What are some of your moments of shyness? What did you do to
overcome them? If you haven’t overcome them, why do you think
that is the case & what can you do about it next time? See you
in the comments!

Nice tips..

good one

I can be shy atimes, but My moral and ginger to go that extra mile, is usually boosted by the size of my pockets.
What i'm tryna say is that, whenever I see a lady i wanna toast, i chek what n what i could offer her b4 …

Ok na shyness dey rain now for this section abi

If only u know what shyness is really is? . . This point can only help a little ,i give it 2/10

If only u know what shyness is really is? . . This points can only help a little ,i give it 2/10

mesoade: If only u know what shyness is really is? . . This points can only help a little ,i give it 2/10

.. can someone pls extract the main point ....reading from a bad phone

Who read it in its entirety? A summary will help

Once shy twice ......