Hello nairalanders, i have a matter to share with u concerning a family friend and his family which i find myself as the cousellor as to settling this rift between this husband and wife. Bro segun works with a big multinationals likewise his wife shade. They are so hardworking over the years which makes them quite successful and happy, having gave birth to two beautiful and chubby girls, they are enviable couple amongst their friends cos they managed their time so well either in office or performing their responsibility as parent. And now their job seems to be more demanding, hence leaves the children with the help of neighbours,sometimes teachers without this children getting so close to their parent cos if segun is not on his way by 5am, sade must have. And now for the fear of deficiency both resort to finding a way out to save their children's future which is who's going to resign to sit back home taking into cognizance that bro segun receives HUNDRED and FIFTY THOUSAND to FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND as wife's salary. Nairalanders help this family out!

Dont let the salary be the 'decision maker' here. The woman should resign, take care of her children for the main time. Should she choose to work afterwards..fine!

Very simple! The wife should resign and start up a business that will give her time for the kids. No wife should just sit at home and do nothing, you must do something no matter how little.
The woman has a very important role to play when it comes to kids so let her resign cause if na me I no go even give am second thoughts .....my family first when it comes to earthly things and God first when it comes to heavenly things

There are 4 options;

- she resigns and takes care of the kids and household provided they can sustain on his salary

- she resigns and tries to run a little something from home while he works

- she resigns and he does 2jobs if his salary for 1 job cant sustain the family

- he becomes a househusband and she continues working

suckerpunch: Dont let the salary be the 'decision maker' here. The woman should resign, take care of her children for the main time. Should she choose to work afterwards..fine!

At this stage of theirs, commitments like their new site will be abandoned, and not to talk of paying the children school fees,paying for apartment where they live, by maintain that status of averagely rich family e.t.c

ammyluv2002: Very simple! The wife should resign and start up a business that will give her time for the kids. No wife should just sit at home and do nothing, you must do something no matter how little.
The woman has a very important role to play when it comes to kids so let her resign cause if na me I no go even give am second thoughts .....my family first when it comes to earthly things and God first when it comes to heavenly things

Good advise. but this woman remain obstinate probably due to exposure and remunerations she's getting.

U

400+150k
Naa. They are not yet earning enough for one person to quit and stay home.
And in this case that the woman is the higher earner here,what will 150k solve for them?

cococandy: 400+150k
Naa. They are not yet earning enough for one person to quit and stay home.
And in this case that the woman is the higher earner here,what will 150k solve for them?

My dear, some married couples earn like 50k/100k yet the manage their finances very well so is not all about the salary now.....planning is the key word

I'd say it depends on the kind of life they are used to.

What kind of school will the child of a 50k earner attend?
Using the man's salary as budget. 15ok isn't even middle class anywhere.
Maybe pay fees and feed them. Is that all?
What about some little luxury?
Where will they live? In good neighborhoods of some common areas,house rent is like 300k-500k-1million or will they pack and go to the slums because the mom has to resign?

Before long the woman may start grumbling because their standard of living has depreciated drastically.even the man may start getting irritated easily because of underlying tension.
Abeg they should be practical about it jare. Even if the man resigns,the woman's income is not all that(you get?).

I think they should even look for how to increase their income instead of decreasing it.

If one person has to resign,let it be the more business savvy person. So that he/she can take it up and do it well.

ammyluv2002: My dear, some married couples earn like 50k/100k yet the manage their finances very well so is not all about the salary now.....planning is the key word

cococandy: I'd say it depends on the kind of life they are used to.

What kind of school will the child of a 50k earner attend?
Using the man's salary as budget. 15ok isn't even middle class anywhere.
Maybe pay fees and feed them. Is that all?
What about some little luxury?
Where will they live? In good neighborhoods of some common areas,house rent is like 300k-500k-1million or will they pack and go to the slums because the mom has to resign?

Before long the woman may start grumbling because their standard of living has depreciated drastically.even the man may start getting irritated easily because of underlying tension.
Abeg they should be practical about it jare. Even if the man resigns,the woman's income is not all that(you get?).

I think they should even look for how to increase their income instead of decreasing it.

If one person has to resign,let it be the more business savvy person. So that he/she can take it up and do it well.

My love, a father can never take the place of a mother no matter how caring the man is...we are talking about the futureof your kids here! I get your point though but I still insist the mother should resign and start up something or better still get a teaching job no matter how little the salary . You can't punish the kids all in the name of getting money to make them comfortable, those kids need their mum at this stage of their lives . They don't understand what it will cost to be with their parents especially the mum so why punish them just because you want to make money for them to be happy that's just my point sha.

Ok.
Just so you know,I wasn't prescribing punishing the kids with her absence in the name of making money.
I know people who earn way more than that but still have time for their kids

ammyluv2002: My love, a father can never take the place of a mother no matter how caring the man is...we are talking about the futureof your kids here! I get your point though but I still insist the mother should resign and start up something or better still get a teaching job no matter how little the salary . You can't punish the kids all in the name of getting money to make them comfortable, those kids need their mum at this stage of their lives . They don't understand what it will cost to be with their parents especially the mum so why punish them just because you want to make money for them to be happy that's just my point sha.

cococandy: Ok.
Just so you know,I wasn't prescribing punishing the kids with her absence in the name of making money.
I know people who earn way more than that but still have time for their kids

very correct

Commuting time seems to be the main problem so they should simply move closer to their jobs.
It's obvious neither will want to give up being employed without having a guaranteed alternative

jaybee3: Commuting time seems to be the main problem so they should simply move closer to their jobs.
It's obvious neither will want to give up being employed without having a guaranteed alternative

hello sweets

Woman of course. ...if the man resigns, what kinda moral are you instilling in the children? That men should be weak or that woman should be the bread winner.

cococandy: 400+150k
Naa. They are not yet earning enough for one person to quit and stay home.
And in this case that the woman is the higher earner here,what will 150k solve for them?

What is your definition of earning enough?

cococandy: rent is like 300k-500k-1million or will they pack and go to the slums because the mom has to resign?

You really be Mbaise chic
Did I just read you type 1million naira rent? What will a person on salary, or not a government official, or not an oil worker, or not a big shot in one good company, be looking for in a 1million naira a year apartment?

Even if the man resigns,the woman's income is not all that(you get?).

You're not serious
400k is not all that, abeg how many average income people earn that much in Nigeria (excluding oil workers, bank managers, some doctors, or the highly placed employees in big companies)?

The couple are not serious.. They will definitely regret their decision later, becase if any of them should quit now it will affect their standard of living and also tell on the so-called children they are sacrificing for.

We have seen couples with higher demanding Jobs still managing their home well with their kids.

They should strive to maintain a certain life style with their kids for now and then save towards a future project that will earn well for both of them.
Please don't let anyone resign for now oo!

No but I'm serious.
Average rent per year in owerri is 400-500k. Average means there are smaller ones and bigger ones too. I know some pay 300k too.
You ask how many civil servants live in such areas,well many I know.
You know how far for ph too.
Abi abuja or lagos.

Even that my BIL that I went to visit in lagos pays 2million as house rent.
And that's the cheapest in their estate. Some pay 5mil"
He's an employee too. Not anyone's boss.


Don't get me wrong o. I've not said 400k is small salary but is it enough for one person to resign with no concrete plans on ground to make more income?
How much more the woman resigning when her hubby is earning 150k

Before 3 months they'll come here bothering us with stories that touch.

My own is that the person who can handle business better should be the one to resign. Not the woman resigning only to find out she can't handle buying and selling

and they should make sure they have water tight plans to execute such a big project else na gobe.
Before one year hubby will start complaining that their savings went down the drain in her business bid but yieled no fruit.
He'll even blame her but forget he was the one who pushed her into an area she wasn't good at to start with.

.

crackhaus:
You really be Mbaise chic
Did I just read you type 1million naira rent? What will a person on salary, or not a government official, or not an oil worker, or not a big shot in one good company, be looking for in a 1million naira a year apartment?


You're not serious
400k is not all that, abeg how many average income people earn that much in Nigeria (excluding oil workers, bank managers, some doctors, or the highly placed employees in big companies)?

EmmaOgbu: U

cococandy: No but I'm serious.
Average rent per year in owerri is 400-500k. Average means there are smaller ones and bigger ones too. I know some pay 300k too.
You ask how many civil servants live in such areas,well many I know.
You know how far for ph too.
Abi abuja or lagos.

Even that my BIL that I went to visit in lagos pays 2million as house rent.
And that's the cheapest in their estate. Some pay 5mil"
He's an employee too. Not anyone's boss.


Don't get me wrong o. I've not said 400k is small salary but is it enough for one person to resign with no concrete plans on ground to make more income?
How much more the woman resigning when her hubby is earning 150k

Before 3 months they'll come here bothering us with stories that touch.

My own is that the person who can handle business better should be the one to resign. Not the woman resigning only to find out she can't handle buying and selling

and they should make sure they have water tight plans to execute such a big project else na gobe.
Before one year hubby will start complaining that their savings went down the drain in her business bid but yieled no fruit.
He'll even blame her but forget he was the one who pushed her into an area she wasn't good at to start with.

.

So they should hire a live in nanny/caretaker...problem solved!

I think so too.

Resigning is not the best option.

crackhaus:
So they should hire a live in nanny/caretaker...problem solved!

cococandy: I think so too.

Resigning is not the best option.

I so much like the way u putting things into perspectives but thats not the best option they are left with cos their children even make it a water-tight situation by rejecting such move stating how peers play with their parents often especially weekends giving them full concentration makes me ask a lot questions on how to be a real parent.

[color=#770077][/color]
Cococandy has made some great points!!! I think the family should move closer to workplace, if they can and get a live in Nanny or a relative.
Also @OP, do the parents also work Sat & Sundays? If Yes, it can be real tasking (but I doubt)...
if No, nothing stops d kids frm spending time wit their parents. Wat if d parents were working offshore? In rigs or d likes?

D kids shld also be counselled by u OP into understanding that d parents are trying to make life better for them, build investments for their future too. Would they (kids) be happy if all they have now be taken away from them?

hapyneso: [color=#770077][/color]
Cococandy has made some great points!!! I think the family should move closer to workplace, if they can and get a live in Nanny or a relative.
Also @OP, do the parents also work Sat & Sundays? If Yes, it can be real tasking (but I doubt)...
if No, nothing stops d kids frm spending time wit their parents. Wat if d parents were working offshore? In rigs or d likes?

D kids shld also be counselled by u OP into understanding that d parents are trying to make life better for them, build investments for their future too. Would they (kids) be happy if all they have now be taken away from them?

Noted! Thanks

ammyluv2002: My love, a father can never take the place of a mother no matter how caring the man is...we are talking about the futureof your kids here! I get your point though but I still insist the mother should resign and start up something or better still get a teaching job no matter how little the salary . You can't punish the kids all in the name of getting money to make them comfortable, those kids need their mum at this stage of their lives . They don't understand what it will cost to be with their parents especially the mum so why punish them just because you want to make money for them to be happy that's just my point sha.

What can the mother offer the kids that the father can't?


You want a family used to a lifestyle of N550,000 per month to drop to N150,000.


Do you know that also affects the children's education?

it shouldn't be so difficult. they could use a help whom the wife should be responsible for in terms of good payment. they should also find quality time to spend with the kids at weekends. Nobody necessarily has to resign.

Not every woman loves the idea of teaching or opening a retail store. I will not advice any woman that is career driven to quit her job(especially if she has her parents or siblings to look after) except the man gets a similar job that is less demanding with a slighly lower pay for her. If all these are not part of their own personal options, there are other options as suggested by someone on this thread. Times are hard,people should consider building their own house instead of paying rent for donkey years so they can save more for their retirement- and ofcourse that would require having a good paying job.

jaybee3: Commuting time seems to be the main problem so they should simply move closer to their jobs.
It's obvious neither will want to give up being employed without having a guaranteed alternative

Thank you!

Before I started working, I was like how can a, b come back late but now, my eye don clear

The average work place in Lagos closes by 5:00pm with most workers dashing out. Some will get home by 10pm due to traffic.

They should try to move closer to their workplace.

And if a party has to resign, he/she must do so willingly (either by reasoning, siking, selling the idea etc.) else the person will be so frustrated and hate the other party

koyyes: Not every woman loves the idea of teaching or opening a retail store.

Please, help me tell them.

They are taking us back to the 19th century.

BananaBender:

Please, help me tell them.

They are taking us back to the 19th century.

Meaning she shouldnt resign? Am going to make my opinion clear to her cos last time i checked, we've seen women doing jobs that have time flexibility and they are doing gud for themselves! I think she forgot that part of marriage fundamentals that the man is the head of the family.