Understanding Men (Now What?) - Family - Nairaland
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| Understanding Men (Now What?) by Monicaa: 1:54am On Nov 08, 2008 |
Need answers from u Men, females are also welcome. When You are stressed out, maybe goin through financial probs, You like to be left alone. Why? not to even be disturbed by ur partner or loved one but still have time n act differently towards ur friends, i mean much better than u would to ur girl or wife. Why?? Men, when going through problems, what is the best that we women can do for u because most times u guys don't even want to hear love or anything relating to that, so what do we do to help u as ur partner whether wife or girlfriend? |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by brain1: 3:03am On Nov 08, 2008 |
i like this topic cos something like this just happened to the best is for you ladies to by our side and to trust in us and in any step we would like to take , with you there we would be happy and have the hope that it can get better thanks |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by SisiJinx: 3:05am On Nov 08, 2008 |
Let him be, give him space. . . Let him know you are there for him without being all up in his face. Sometimes love can be stifling and it really doesn't conquer all. . . So you going "I love you, do you love me? Talk to me! Why won't you talk to me? Blah, Blah, Blah" when he is trying to figure things. . . real honest to goodness issues like how to pay the rent and whatnot, isn't going to help much. That's why he'd rather hang out with his friends because they won't yapping in his ears all day long and sighing all over the place like long suffering matyrs. . . Jeez! I hope that helped.  |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by akininNC(m): 3:53am On Nov 08, 2008 |
Sisi Jinx: well said end of subject!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by Monicaa: 5:23am On Nov 08, 2008 |
@sisiJinx Well said, that helped. Men! so difficult  Please would love more answers. Different Opinions. |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by mohawkchic(f): 6:05am On Nov 08, 2008 |
[b]~Most men if not all, find it very humiliating to reveal their Mistakes, Fears & Weaknesses to their partners/spouses!!So something you might think you'll be the first person he'll want to confide in . . he'll rather not talk about it,for fear you might lose respect for him or whatever reason he sees fit!! ~The key word here is Compromise!!If he doesnt want to tell/confide in you at that given moment,like Sisi Jinx mention,just let him know you're always there for him thro thick & thin & be supportive . . . i don't mean constantly saying "I love You"  "Why don't you talk to me?!!" can't stress this enough >> You're asking for Trouble!!am not a man & i knw i get down right irritated with constant repeative questions when i want to be left alone!! something like"You know i'll always be here for you if you want to talk about it"Or "Do you feel like talking about it" "Whatever you're going through,we can go through it together-don't shut me out!!" -these are all open questions that could prompt him to talk!! bearing in mind More Pressure only escalates the issue of him not opening up about whatever is bothering him!! if all else fails . . . & he still doesnt open up,give him time to figure it out on his own,some things are better left unsaid!! however if you think you can get to him -continue reassuring him you wouldnt judge him,stroke that male ego!!  You know your man!!~Instead of Putting too much emphasis on Trying to Understand men,we must first understand There's no man out there that am aware of that can say he understands Women,niether Is there a woman who'll say she understands Men!! I can say i know what works with my man . . but there's no telling if it might work w/ yours!! ~I've made a conscious effort to know all men are different and are bound to react differently to any given suitation!!I know that feeling of thinking "I don't read minds . .How the heck am i suppose to know if he doesnt tell me?" ~There's no rule book about decoding men's behaviour or women for that matter but we all can rely on Communicating our feelings & emotions for a better & more fullfilled relationship!![/b] |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by DavidDylan(m): 6:18am On Nov 08, 2008 |
is Sisi Jinx a man in disguise?  She broke it down so well.Sisi Jinx: i had to highlight the above because i have been through it before and to be honest that was a deal breaker for me. Men dont want to verbalise their every thought, when you go on like that you come off as whinny, overly needy and annoying. If i'm not married to you the likelihood i would be willing to spend the rest of my life with you is already very slim . . . imagine having to wake up to that every morning . . . the horrors! Keep quiet, give the guy his space but let him know you care in subtle ways. He'll come round and trust me, you'll be the first person he wants to talk to when he's fine. Oh Monica wondered why men prefer to talk to their friends - well because our friends know when we just need an ear rather than a lecture. |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by iice(f): 3:44pm On Nov 08, 2008 |
LMAO sisi, couldn't have said it better  |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by SisiJinx: 3:55pm On Nov 08, 2008 |
Ooooh noooo but I don't wanna be a man!!!  iice can tell you how we know these things! |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by Monicaa: 7:05pm On Nov 08, 2008 |
@Mohawkchic I can relate very well to what u said. It makes a lot of sense. @DavidDylan It isn't about spending time together or so on. Ok let me ask u, for example, ur babe calls u once or twice in a week,to know how u r, if u've eaten n that's bout it. Not asking anything from U. Isn't that enough space or what type of space do u want or r u looking for?? |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by chy4luv: 10:20pm On Nov 08, 2008 |
@mohawkchic I really dont know why you like typing like that,i found it very difficult to read your posts since i joined this nairaland.No offence, just my opinion |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by mohawkchic(f): 3:12pm On Nov 09, 2008 |
@mohawkchic ~No?! Really?! Aaaw No offence, just my opinion ~None Taken!! |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by temi4rea(f): 10:05am On Nov 10, 2008 |
when men are being liken to children its not just the fact they suck like children(let nobody ask me wht they suck o) but this is one area they act similar! When i child needs something and hes not getting it,he gets frustrated and easily pissed when disturbed even when u try helping,he wnts to do it himself not wth u help,and trying to help annoys him but after giving him tym or rather the space he needs. u knw wht? he comes back telling u his probs and hw bad he felf,this is for a child and its also applicable to men . As a woman u grab that oppournity to mk him feel u wl always be there come wht may,and if u have better ideas to the solution u sell it out to him. most tyms they need that space,weather feeling bad or not give them(men)space once a while. |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by Monicaa: 7:45pm On Nov 10, 2008 |
Now pls tell me what to do. For a week, I haven't heard from him which is unlike him cos I decided to give him space to sort his problems like y'all suggested even though the last time we spoke, he apologised for making me feel any way n left out from his poroblems that I shouldn't give up on him. The problem isn't even him calling me yet but online n facebook, which he is everyday, that last time we spoke, he hasn't been online till present as I write. I am so worried. I disguised myself as another person on his facebook just to know when he's around for a long time n it helped me know when he's around n so on. He hasn't been, where he used to hang out, even his friends haven't seen him. I am so worried that something has happened to him or was he thrown out of his house or what?  I don't want to call as y'all suggested to sort himself out n i dont want to just show up at his house u know. How do I know if something hasn't happened to him.What do I do? Do i just call him? |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by JJYOU: 7:52pm On Nov 10, 2008 |
time |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by Monicaa: 7:53pm On Nov 10, 2008 |
JJYOU, pls wat do u mean by time? |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by chika98: 8:08pm On Nov 10, 2008 |
I though you just got out a relationship. Why did you jump into another so soon? |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by Monicaa: 8:14pm On Nov 10, 2008 |
I didn't just jump into another relationship. But considering this situation now, what would u do? Do i just call him to know if everything is ok, im surprised no one has seen him. |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by bigfather(m): 9:05am On Nov 11, 2008 |
mohawkchic: You are kind of right. It's not as if we find it humiliating to reveal our mistakes or weaknesses but the issue is that most women do not have the mind to withstand some issues,they'll rather be emotional about it. So in order not to add more to the problem,a man would rather keep to himself. |
| Re: Understanding Men (Now What?) by mohawkchic(f): 1:42pm On Nov 11, 2008 |
Now please tell me what to do. ~You need to step back & review all what you've written on this section & Romance,make sense of the replies you've had . . .then ask yourself reasonably "What do i do!" For a week, I haven't heard from him which is unlike him because I decided to give him space to sort his problems like y'all suggested even though the last time we spoke, he apologised for making me feel any way n left out from his poroblems that I shouldn't give up on him. ~Is he really reassuring you not to give up on him or is he telling you what you want to hear so you'll let him be?!! The problem isn't even him calling me yet but online n facebook, which he is everyday, that last time we spoke, he hasn't been online till present as I write. I am so worried. ~Are you in love with this man? Seems like infatuation to me! Your ability to think clearly and act rationally are flung aside with suspicious eagerness!! why you getting yourself paranoid over what could really be starring at you in the face? ~I have to say the disguise on FB made me he'll get in touch with you in his own time!! if he doesnt,move on,this brother aint for you!! |
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