Few years ago, a woman was married into our family. She was a lovely jovial woman, fun to be with and all of that. But then it was discovered that her fore bears were "osu". In Igboland an osu is someone who was dedicated to the gods, after this dedication, usually done if the person involved committed a terrible crime beyond normal forgiveness by the gods. This person and his family are sent out. They live close to the shrine. They and their descendants cease to have any sort of communication with the other free people. Not minding the advent of christianity- this believe though severely reduced still holds sway. As an igbo man or woman. You would not be allowed to marry an osu. Though you may interact with them. I am personally against this believe. As it sounds totally hypocritic that someone who claims to be a christian would tag a fellow human with such a despicable name.


Now this woman I talked about had children, but she had to leave with them. They were not allowed to come back and they held no grounds in their father's compound. She cried and begged, but they didn't heed. I remembered this incident yesterday so I wrote a poem about it.

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Out cast free verse


Eyes tight, shut tight
Pain runs through my veins
Anger dances in my heart
Fear numbs my fingers
I mix them all


The verdict came on his own
My family gone I am all alone
Solitarily I walk now
No one to talk to or share my pain
Joy has left me


Leave I must or
Die I would but
My innocence speaks not
Her voice drowned by a thousand
voices screaming in unity, leave



Go, go, go, it echoes over again
My greetings hit the wall
Splash it sounds on my face
Spits I take, insults I embrace.
Fabrics torn out by once comrades


My well of tears has dried up
My stream of pain has overflowed
Fruits from my bowels fail to cheer me up
They are not innocent
They would suffer same fate


Worse it gets, wet head rest
God- unto you do I cry
My fore bears knew thee not
But I do, I do
Lovin' you I did, did not I?
Why the curse on me
The curse of an outcast

I wrote this like a lamentation coming from the lips of the woman involved. Intended to make it a quintet, but the last verse, I don't know, can I get away with that?


Cc: oma4u, timparker, texanomaly, firestar, larrysun, ishilove, haddon.

Please drop a review, thank you.

Touching story. I don't review poetry but this is good. And since you're writing from her point of view shouldn't "her voice" in the third stanza be "my voice"?

This poem is from your heart. It means something to you. It could very well impact others. That is the important part. I think sometimes we worry so much about the rules that our message suffers.

You obviously felt her pain. Don't try to change what you feel. If you go back after a while and something sounds, or looks better to you, change it. If you want to change it because you think it doesn't follow the rules, leave it.

Following all the rules does not make great poetry. Having an impact on others or even just yourself is what really counts.

Nice job.

Btw. Where are she and her kids now?

Writeditor:
Touching story. I don't review poetry but this is good. And since you're writing from her point of view shouldn't "her voice" in the third stanza be "my voice"?

Thanks much . I was actually refering to the voice of innocense. Using personification.

timpaker:
great piece I must say. Like tex said, just focus on making a good poem. Poetry forms does not. However, it might interest you to know that what you have there is a form known as Dramatic Monologue, cuz you're using a character in fiction or in solo mode (pardon me, I'm too lazy to spell sololoqui, you know that moment when you just talk and lament on your own)
to deliver a lengthy speech explaining a feeling, action, or motive. . Great job!

Okay, dramatic monologue. That has been written down

texanomaly:
Btw. Where are she and her kids now?

They've left. Last time I heard of her, she stays with her mother. It is indeed quite saddening. Thanks much.

I liked the first twelve lines. I believe they were the best part of the poem. The latter part seems...forced. I don't know, it just doesn't lap with how you started. Otherwise, it's a very good poem. Passed across the message, touching. Thumbs up.